Our kids went around the world by themselves when they were three and four years old.

Great question Tower. I think they are travelling with Swoosher now.

My kids were traveling around Europe and Asia when they were 20, but not at age 18. At age 16, though, my daughter used to take the train and a "trolley" (tram) from our home in Princeton, NJ, to Philadelphia every weekend for a piano lesson. However, as others have said, kids are different, and I think the trend is for kids to take longer to grow up. I know a woman who raised her brothers and sisters when her parents died in an accident when she was 16. My father left Scotland when he was 19 and went to work in the US, where he knew no one. People used to get married and set up housekeeping at age 14. That sort of thing would be unthinkable now. So I hesitate to use the experience of my own kids, which was 15 years or more ago, as a model for someone today.

Awful lot of deleted posts today, including mine which merely referenced cold's posts yet his remain. Can someone please report cold. This is unfair.

FMT - done.

Thanks cold.

Anyway, I still think it is a great night to send the kids to a movie -- or two. That age group loves that stuff.

deleted? Why in he world did my post referring to Cold', need to be deleted?? Somebody has an itchy trigger finger back at St. Forum-ville. C'mon headquarters, this is getting ridiculous and insulting.

Kids were marrying at 14 a couple of hundred years ago - not when DDs were in europe - only 6 or 7 years ago.

It's true that some kids are very naive - but this is a chance to FIX that - not PRESERVE it and encourage fear of the big bad world. In adults, naivete is NOT a good trait - for school or job - or anything else real world.

Pizza & a movie - good solution!

You know your kids best, and what will work for your family. I would not back off your idea of a private dinner in Paris for your 20th Anniversary.

If the girls do go out to walk around, be sure they each take a card from the hotel, because it can get confusing finding your way back. It's imperative that they have the hotel name and address on them.

We did something similar in Vienna when our DS and DD were about that age. DH and I were invited to a special dinner hosted by the mayor, at the ballroom where Kennedy met with Kruschev. I was not going to miss it, and kids were not invited.

We gave them euros, and our hotel was just a block from the main shopping avenue. A very safe area. They were fine.

But you have lots of options. The night-time bike tour could be fun. Or just get them wonderful food and snacks to eat in the room, along with movies to watch.

He has already said no how no way are they going out "wandering" around Paris on their own. Not going to happen.

"Wandering" is one thing, and not something I'd recommend, either. Having a specific thing to do is another whole ball of wax. Like the bike tour. Or reservations at the restaurant down the block. Or tickets to an event close-by.

Another time, we let our two teens attend a rock concert in Amsterdam at the Paradiso by themselves. It's a well-known venue for musicians. DH and I walked with them over to the venue, and they took a cab back to the hotel. DS and DD were talking about that event recently, and expressed how much they enjoyed being on their own in a foreign city. They really appreciated that we trusted them.

<<I like the idea of a nearby pizza place but walking around Paris without us at night isn't going to happen.>>

He did not use the word wandering. That was my error. He's already SAID they aren't walking around at night alone. I'm pretty sure going to "attend a rock concert" isn't what he had in mind.

Whatever you say, great and powerful all- knowing one.

You know, other posters can share their thoughts, too.

Most people probably understand that one can describe a rock concert, without suggesting that everyone else should do the same with their teens.

Relax and stop trying to direct threads.

Just can't help yourself, can you?

I got deleted too. It's my first time. I feel I've joined a small exclusive club. ;-)

Did somebody say something?

You can't seem to catch on to how that ignoring thing works either.

How about a compromise of the whole family going to dinner at a recommended restaurant within easy walking distance/Metro ride from your hotel on one of your first nights in town. If the girls like it, and feel they can manage the logistics of ordering and paying the bill, make a reservation for them and let them have their own night out. It will give them a thrill to be given that much independence and not subject them to any significant risk.

Smart idea, nukesafe. It would give the girls 'buy into' the decision.

I'm feeling guilty about the punishment handed out here. To even things up I will stay in my room tonight.

Remember to get a pizza first, coldie.

Except for the fact that so many posts have been deleted (none of mine!), I would feel like being playful and asking why a 20th anniversary dinner would exclude the children. Are they not the best thing that ever happened to you? Shouldn't they be a part of such a celebration? If not, there should be two different celebrations, including the possibility for the girls to have their own night out.

Deleted; oh well, I've been kicked out of worse places.

I've been kicked out of better places!

If you want to break kids out of their mold, I think it's best to start in a place a little closer to home, and where they speak the language.

tabernash -- apparently you didn't see any of the deleted posts. We've tried - we really did. No walking around, no wandering around, no anything alone - except staying in the room . . . and only then if it is 'safe'.

Bruce, if YOU are still reading here, it looks like the majority opinion is that your daughters will be just fine in the hotel while you and their mother go out for an anniversary dinner. They will probably enjoy an evening with social media and/or the tv remote. They might also enjoy shopping for a picnic meal for their room dinner. If you feel comfortable with the neighborhood, perhaps you might let them have a meal alone in a cafe close to the hotel. Entirely your call. Enjoy Paris with your family.

Thanks, janisj.

These posts are giving me food for thought, not intended to start arguments, though. We're going over Christmastime. The trip is also a celebration of my older daughter's h.s. graduation.

Bruce, you will know more when you get to your Paris hotel and get a feel for it. If you were renting an apartment with no front desk, it would be different.

Sounds like a great trip. Anniversary and HS grad. Congrats to your family. I hope you love Paris. I do.

Your comment " she has a very innocent view on life. The younger one will be the protector." sounds like me and sister. We also are 4 years apart in age. For the heck of it, I asked my mom this question. I posed the same question but instead used me and my sister at that age. My mom who has been to Paris shocked me. She said no she would not allow us to be alone out on the streets of Paris but would let us stay in the hotel alone. When I asked if it were me at age 18 and my brother at age 14 she said that would be ok or even me at age 14 by myself. The issue wouldn't be me but my sister (to this day she still goes the wrong way). So only you know your daughters.

I'm going to cold's room. Anybody wanna come?

I shudder at the thought. . ..
Beware of cold. He's a tease.
Haha.

Cold is probably close to impossible now, what with a double win by Canadian hockey over both U.S. Men AND Women. Maple Leaf triumphs over Stars and Stripes! We've stepped into one big Sochi pot-hole!

Modestobruce,
You know your kids. There are no rights and wrongs.

I have two girls four years apart, and they were often on their own in Paris at your kids' ages.

They were not "party hearty" types ever. In fact, I'm pretty sure the oldest never had a beer at a party in high school. She was not a nerd (although she longed for that designation--she worshiped the super smart kids in the high school), but she was the type who was, for some reason, always worried about her "permanent record."

The youngest worried far less about that, but she was the type who watched EVERYONE no matter where we went.

The important point is that they worked very well together as a team. One was always on alert, and the oldest wasn't looking for trouble. If the oldest had some sort of lapse in judgment, the youngest was on her in two secs and vice verse. So their teamwork was what allowed us to give the two of them their freedom in Paris.

Enjoy your anniversary.
AZ

Happy Anniversary! There were too many posts to read what everyone had to say but I will add my opinion to the list. Parents DESERVE alone time and by gosh your anniversary should be ROMANTIC in Paris for just the two of you!!! How divine! You are showing your daughters that love lasts and should be celebrated. That is a terrific parenting lesson. They will benefit from that in the future. THEY ARE ALREADY IN PARIS - they don't need to be at dinner. As for the hotel - I have two girls and I get nervous so I super understand your concern. Only YOU KNOW if you will be comfortable on site. Do you all have phones with Viber or Whatsapp or some international text plan for easy communication? That will really help allay your fears. Ignore the haters on this site. Hook everyone up with multiple ways to stay in touch and go out and have fun IF YOU CAN. If you can't, then maybe bring them and have them sit far away at another table where they can't see you kissing in public and toasting to 20 years. Cheers!!

You know what has happend in the movie "96 Hours - Taken"? :D All kidding aside: I don't see any problem with that, your children can call you at specific time intervals, so you don't have to worry.

Just tell them not to post on facebook that they are alone, and where, and for how long, and how much cash they have on them.