Missing comforts in India?
 

My little family may have the opportunity to relocate overseas thanks to husband's line of work. There are many different options, but the one that keeps popping up as the most interesting and exciting is Hyderabad. As we are from the Seattle ares, this will literally be on the other side of the world. We travel often but haven't yet made it to that part of the globe. Before we actually move we will definitely go to see for ourselves, but we're just trying to do some very preliminary research. So, for those of you that have visited, or better yet stayed for an extended period of time, what "western" comforts did you miss the most? For me, one of the silly things that I miss when I travel is u.s. bottled diet coke. Of course, that would NEVER prevent me from traveling or relocating, just something I have a little sad sigh over now and again. Is there anything else you miss that I should know in advance? Thank you so much for your replies. I also want to thank you for your different posts and trip reports; they are all furthering our excitement for this new adventure.

FROM MY OBSERVATIONS ON AN 11 day trip...cleanlines, quiet, driving where ever i want to go with no hastle, american style food, beef of good quality, water from the tap, american style bathrooms outside of quality hotels....

this makes it sound terrible, but in fact there are wonderful things as well and an experience that you would not be able to duplicate in say england, france or seattle...

One comfort which surpasses everything else is availability of servants...a cook to run your kitchen, another to work daily chores & a sweeper to mop your place. Welcome to India, you shall love it!

The only thing you'll miss that I can think off is probably is your friends,your fav coffeeshop/restaurant etc back home.Beyond that the creature comforts in India that you can experience could surpass your expectations.Like vp suggested....a personal valet..a chaffeur....a chef..a caretaker at home...a personal secretary, you name it!!
India is vibrant & happening.
Experience it and you'll love it.

Clean, breathable air.

infrastructure(but I'd do it anyway.)

You will not get U.S. bottled Diet Coke, but you should get Indian bottled Diet Coke. Both Pepsi & Coke have big operations in India. Several western comforts can be elusive but nothing is unavailable if your budget is big enough. Also, if you only want Pellegrino water, Charmin ultra, L'Occitane washes, Danish blue cheese and walnut bread, you will have problems. Also, good beef is not available though. Fish like salmon, tuna etc are not as popular in India either but you can get other types of fish which are as good if not better tasting.
Hiring 3 domestic helpers will make life exponentially easier - a maid to clean, a cook and a driver or two. Some may also get a gardner, if you have a house vs. apartment. Domestic help is very cheap in India but ensure that they come recommended from trusted sources (people in your husband's company etc.). Be very careful in choosing these people- petty theft is not uncommon unless you get the right people. Pollution is bad and tap water isn't potable.
A lot will depend on where you live - uninterrupted electricity, hot water, western bathrooms aren't difficult to find unless you live in old quarters.
While some of the things you're used to may not be easily accessible, you will encounter several other things which you may be drawn to. If you keep an open mind, you'll grow accustomed to the din & trials of life in India.

You guys are great. So far it seems like there is nothing I couldn't live without. My husband pointed out that a lot of the things I'll miss will be American junk food and that will probably be a good thing. I have 2 questions. How available are dairy products? I have a young son that still needs a lot of milk, cheese, yogurt, etc. It doesn't have to be yoplait and tillamook, it just has to to be available! My 2nd q is regarding the water. So, tap water isn't potable. Can you buy faucet attached filters that will make it so or do you just boil water or use bottles? I am so glad that your responses haven't quelched our desire! I'd love to hear any more advice you have, this is all wonderful. Thanks.

From my recent travel to India, it looks like you can buy most of the American "junk" food, etc. there too. Chips, diet sodas (they're marketed as "Light", as the term diet sounds too severe to Indians I guess). There are big western style shopping malls where you can buy Lancome, Guess, Gucci, almost anything that you can get out here.

Domestic help is a big plus. My husband and I were in Hyderabad for 5 days in Nov with him on business. We got a personal chef, a house cleaner, a chauffer.

I can highly recommend our driver who also owns his car. I'll dig up his contact info if you're interested.

Traffic in Hyderabad is horrendous, seemed worse than Delhi, because there's no mass transit system like the metro (subway). The upper middle class is too snob to take the bus, and too many people are chauffeured in cars. Pollution is really bad in some parts.

Our driver, Mahesh, was an excellent driver. With traffic like a jumbo mess, he was able to maneuver through it all smoothly. No hard stopping and jerking. He was a former chauffeur for big generals in the Indian Air Force. And he's very courteous, patient and pleasant to be with. Let me know if you need his contact info.

Good luck and have fun!

It won't be anything like the US. India can be challenging for a tourist (I've been there 5 times) but living there will be a HUGE adjustment. Also how old is your son? Have you considered how hot India gets in the summer and how electricity cuts off several times per day? The comforts of home will be sorely missed I can assure you. It will depend on how well you can adapt but I'd be especially concerned about a young child there who has no natural immunities to normal flora. You say you will give it a test run first. Thats a good idea. Just be sure to consider the weather if you go during cooler months.

what about your son's education? daycare, school, etc? it'd be one of the most important things i would look into.

BKP, I cannot comment really on Hyderabad at all, my knowledge of India is way back when and limited.

However, if you are from Seattle and being relocated by your company I think you will find more things being 'taken care of' than you know.

Question: Has your husband's company already relocated others there? If so then it would be quite normal and acceptable for them to put you in direct touch with other people/families from the company who are on the spot and can tell you a great deal.
If your husband's company has relocated people to Hyderabad before then they no doubt have a huge file of information, from that you will learn about schools etc.

There will also without doubt be some local expatriate group with information.

I have no idea if there is a US Consul in Hyderabad but if there is they too 'should' have some welcome file of information about shops, schools etc which they should be able to send to you.

It is a superb opportunity and you might find it a bigger worry re-adjusting to Seattle life after you return ! If you can look forward to living in India for some years it will be a treat for the whole family and experiences you will never forget.

Imagaine the joy too if you can tempt friends and family to come out and visit you, great fun!

There seems to be quite an American expatriate community in Hyderabad, doing a quick search there was an article about Thanksgiving parties etc and they did not seem to be lacking in food ! There seems to be a lot of IT people there.
Also there is an International School that is affilaited through the University of Nebraksa and they do US grades, so no worries there.
Lucky you!

JamesA: Are you serious about readjusting to Seattle? India may be fascinating in some ways but someone who has grown up here will find it very, very difficult to live there for any length of time, let alone want to stay there vs. coming back home to the USA. As my wife is Indian and we have been married now 28 yrs. I can tell you we have seen scores of Indians who have some here to live and rarely do you see any of them deciding to return to live in India. Life is much harder there. So if they, who have been reared there don't want to return how likely will it be for a person from Seattle to find readjusting to life back in the states a challenge? The OP will adjust to a Seattle return like a duck to water. No offense but that has to be the most outlandish statement about India I have ever heard. If you like it that much perhaps you are a reincarnated Rajah. :S- However to the OP don't expect anything like that at all. This won't be easy. JM2C.

I've lived in Bangalore for most of this year, and agree that most all western things you want you can find in India. The diet coke is pricey (by Indian standards) but available.

I'm not sure having a battalion of servants is all it's cracked up to be, but definitely do get references or something if you do hire them.

Dairy products: milk (usually sold in thick plastic bags) and curd (like yogurt) are easily available. Indian cheese, paneer, which goes in lots of dishes, is also easy to get ahold of.

Water: You'll probably be able to use the water from the tap for everything but drinking. For that there's bottled water. You'll have some company deliver the bottles. The water isn't expensive.

And for what it's worth, I've had some of the best steaks in B'lore. Your mileage may vary.

What I do miss the most (even though I came supplied) are western TV shows and books. Bring a bunch of those.

Regarding your question of dairy products,fresh plain yoghurt like Nestle'& Amul is available in most supermarkets along with various local brands.Very safe not to worry.A variety of cheese indian and imported brands too are available.
Cheddar,Mozzarella,Ricotta etc can be seen in most supermarket shelves.
Yoghurt: Pascuals ( Spain ) entered the Indian market three years ago and enjoys a monopoly. The two local brands - Nestle & Viva - are on the racks.

Cheese is dominated by local brands - Amul & Le Bon. Happy Cow ( Austria ), Laughing Cow (France) and Kraft ( Australia ) are the prominent imported brands selling in India.

As regarding water, almost all major national and international brands are available. Parle's Bisleri that virtually monopolised the bottled water market is now vying with Nestle, Coca Cola, PepsiCo,UB and Britannia.There are close to 200 bottled water brands in India. Nearly 80 per cent of these are local brands.
Normally most urban Indian households dont consume direct tap water & have ionizer water filters ( faucet attachable) such as Aquaguard or Pentapure & so on.

I too think that expats face some difficulty readjusting to their home when (and if) they return following an overseas posting. I know that were we to relocate to the US now, we would have a very hard time. I have a hard time spending more than a couple of weeks there....there are a lot of things that I had never noticed until I no longer lived there that drive me nuts!

If you are relocated by your company and provided with a great home with staff and have a strong community of other expats, life is good, very good. Of course you will still have hardships and adjustments, but you will also be well supported.

When you return home, you will not have the same kind of support, and if you have been living outside of the US for any length of time, there will be readjustment...no doubt.

I know for a fact that there are things we experience during some extended stays in the US that mystify us or drive us nuts...and that never happened before we didn't live there. After over 11 years out of the country, moving back to the US would be very, very difficult for us I'm sure, and we aren't even living abroad on an expat package and we are in Japan, a pretty nice place. If I had to give up staff, paid international school tuition, paid home leave, subsidised housing...wow, my adjustment would be impossible then...

Such thoughtful and interesting comments! My husband's company has relocated people there before so I believe there will be lots of things taken care of before I even have a chance to worry about them! As for my son, he is 18 months old right now and fully immunized according to American pediatricians. I know that won't protect him from stomache bugs and the like but I believe it's the best we can do. I also think that his standard education won't be an issue for a few more years. Besides, what could be more educational than living overseas! As to the readjusting discussion, I agree with both sides. Our last major trip was to Paris. Once we were home I was constantly frustrated by the lack of outdoor cafe dining and of course, the pastries! However, it's not like riding the metro caused me to forget how to drive my car so . . . I guess life is full of constant adjustments! You have all been so kind, I really appreciate all of your comments.

Best of luck. You will find India much different from Paris. :S-

You may also find when you return that he's received a superior education in India than he would have at home.

Ordinary dairy products are not a problem. In fact, yogurt is part of the daily diet for many Indians. You'll find that most homes make thier own bowl of yogurt daily. This is the plain yogurt or what sells as plain greek yogurt in most supermarkets here. Several international brands are also available as yogurt consumption is high.
Don't know if 1%, 2%, fat free milk etc is available, but good ol' milk is abundant. A few common varieties of cheese are available easily and in some cities (Hyderabad is probably one of them) there'll be a shop or two that cater to ex-pats or foreigners & sell brie etc. But cheese is not a big part of the Indian diet, except paneer. Mozzerella is getting popular as Indians experiment with making pizza and ricotta is used to as a proxy to make certain Indian desserts like ras malai.
It should be a good experience if you decide to do it. But the first few months will be difficult...you'll get used to it. As a friend of mine says, one has to live in a bubble in India- you create an environment, lifestyle & friend circle that you like- & learn to ignore the rest. Sounds harsh but that's how it is. It's not an easy place but it is so different than any other place that it's guaranteed to be a memorable & rewarding experience. BTW, I don't think access to books/magazines/good newspapers is an issue at all. There's a bookstore chain called Crossword which'll have plenty of stuff to keep you reading all day for the rest of your life and you'll notice that Indians tend to read quite a lot. You can certainly get magazine subscriptions redirected to India. No good libraries though but the American, British & other countries' foreign services have libraries in large cities. I'm positive Hyderabad will have at least 1 or 2 such places. Ther's no US consulate in Hyderabad.

I don't think low fat milk is available there. The above comment about creating your own insulated world reminds me of what a neighbor lady of our relatives said one day as we were in a cab travelling to CP in Delhi. She noticed the expression on my face to some of the difficult sights I was viewing and said basically the same thing. You have to ignore many things because if you don't it gets to you. Its a perspective born of necessity. You do what you must to deal with the circumstances you are in no matter where you are.

another thing to check is the tax situation...you still have to pay US taxes and all the subsidies (housing, school, etc) may or may not be included in your total income. some companies "make whole" you on taxes (make up the difference if your actual tax paid is higher due to all the goodies)...not an expert, but good to check either with a tax attorney or another family with similar income and actual situation.

About someone's comment about missing Western tv shows in India... On the 2nd day we arrived in Hyderabad, we were asked if we wanted cable tv and we said sure. By that evening, voila cable tv w/ 150+ channels were on! Faster than any cable service I've seen in America. We got all kind of American cable channels (HBO, National Geographic, HDTV, you name it) plus British ones too, and of course Indian channels.

It seems that you can get almost anything in India that money can buy. My biggest complaint (and concern for the fast pace growth of India) is their air quality. Autorickshaws, trucks, busses, cars were all emitting thick black fumes. We had to wear a face mask and wrapped around sunglasses (even at night) when walking or riding an autorickshaw. And had to use AC instead of fresh air in our car..

My husband and I are Indian, though I've lived outside India most of my life. Living in India is an adjustment, but so is moving to any new place (including the US). You have to go with the mindset of accepting things how they are. I don't think you'll miss any consumer good there if you're willing to pay the price (my daughter loves Babybel cheese, and since she wasn't eating the first week when I went to India, I found some in the local import store - however it was expensive and I figured she could do without it - she ate the indian equivalent).

Infrastructure is what you will find most frustrating - but unlike other posts here I don't think living in India is more difficult. In fact, there is an exodus of Indians living from the West moving back to India (keep up with the times, jacketwatch).

Medical facilities are great, but you have to be more careful with your child. What I liked about returning to the US with my 1 year old after three months in India, was letting her eat anything anywhere. However, in the 3 months in India, she only had diarhea once and it wasn't even a serious case.

With an expatriate salary, you will be able to enjoy a higher standard of living. It will be a good base to travel around Asia.

Good luck.

memee: Those who are returning are only very rich, big business people. I am aware of that, thank you. However the overall trend is to leave, esp. if you marketable skills in medicine, engineering and technology. Its ironic you say "keep up with the times." You know very well how far lagging that infrastructure is. For example just two yrs. ago Delhi was building its first elevated train system.

It's not the rich who are leaving for India - in fact the rich never moved West. It's the educated and semi-skilled workers who moved here. It's the younger educated class that is beginning to move back as salaries in India have risen and so has standard of living. Emigration from India has mainly been for economic reasons, if India can now offer a higher standard of living for certain educated class, many from that group are willing to grab the opportunity.

I agree that infrastructure is extremely poor, but don't use the late entry of elevated train system as milestone of development. Both you and I know that public transport in the US is extremely poor. The other big issue is general sanitary level, which India really needs to work on. There is slight political unstability, but it is also a resilient nation.

I know you've been to India several times and married to an Indian. I consider your wife's generation of immigrants very different from the younger ones. She probably left in the 70s when there was political turmoil. I find people who left such a long time ago find it hardest to adjust back to India as there was a lack of confidence about being from a third world country and a need to assimilate to the West. Also, it was not easy to travel back and keep in touch so when they actually visited everything back home seemed 'foreign'. The more recent migrants didn't face as much of a struggle and also kept in touch with India, so moving back was not an issue. It's all in the mindset. America is the 10th country I'm living in, so I know a thing or two about adjusting.
Also, yes you do get skimmed milk in India.
BKP, you can install an electronic filter to your tap system. Most people first boil water and then filter it before drinking it. You don't have to buy water from outside, but I guess it's more convenient.

The train reference is but one example. We agree about infrastructure being lacking and that is just the way it is. No judgement intended. I really don't think public transportation here is "extremely poor." Is it as extensive as in Europe? No but then again gas is much less here than there and we have more cars and a very good highway system.
My wife did not leave India due to political turmoil. She left for personal and professional reasons and you could also say she had the free spirit of youth. Her upbringing was very solid. She always says they had little but were very happy. If you ever met my wife the one thing you would see is a very confident, self assured woman who is quite able to speak her mind. She came to the US knowing she had friends here to stay with and $3.00! Thats it. But she worked hard has achieved greatly and I am both proud and lucky to have her. How does she feel about returning to visit? About the same way I do. We dearly love our relatives there but in all honesty we miss the comforts of home too numerous to list that we have become so used to and after about 2 weeks we feel like going home. The disparity in life style becomes greater all the time, at least for us. Perhaps we can't adapt to that insular mindset as discussed earlier, at least not for the relatively short time we are there. I know I can't just block out all that I see. When I travel I want to see as much as I can and my eyes stay open. If what I said hit too close to home then I am sorry. I could never be against India or Indians but that doesn't mean I have to love all that is there or not say what I feel about life there whether positive or negative. I also have criticisms of my own country too but I'll leave my politics to myself. I do think the OP will have quite an adjustment to make. Lets not sugar coat that for reasons of national pride. Good for you that you have that too! Of course the adjustment can be made but for most. esp. those who have never been exposed to such a different environment it quite naturally will take time, understanding and patience. Alot of patience.
As for knowing how to adjust I've been around a bit myself. Can't you tell? :S-
Namaste. :-)

Let me correct myself, firstly when I mentioned emigration from India in the 70s, it wasn't due to political turmoil (that was the 40s), but the political climate was such that people looked to migrate for economic reasons and stability. I do commend people (including your wife) for doing that. It took a lot especially those days to move so far (most people have the $7 story as that was how much foreign currency the Indian govt. gave you).

However, when you visit, you probably interact with her relatives which is one subsection of people. India is diverse and there are many lifestyles available. My husband graduated from an college in the US and joined a management consulting firm here that transferred him to India. When I visited him, I was in awe of his lifestyle. He ate at 5 star restaurants, was a member of a fancy golf club, had a huge apartment, a maid - so he didn't have to do any housework, a driver so he didn't have to drive on the crazy roads. He holidayed abroad every few months and there were few things in India he could not afford. Yes, there were many things that frustrated him about working in India but at 24 it was a very good lifestyle. And that lifestyle is offered to many more now. Maybe I'm being defensive, but I am as defensive about the other 9 countries I've lived in mainly because short travels make people generalize not understand. You need to stick around a little longer to really understand a country and it's culture.

while i've never lived in india, i've visited and have a close friend there and got to know her family. if i were to move to india, the most difficult part would be the social circle. to a foreigner, indians are very focused on their families and most of the social activities are centered around the family. if you are foreigner, it seems that it would be very difficult to crack that. then you are left with expats - that's a much smaller pool of people from who to find friends that you will really enjoy to hang out with. it's that limitation of always being the outsider and only having the expat circle (which you or may not like) available to you.
the other difficulty i'd have is the lack of strong laws - in the US we are used to established procedures and everything working as its supposed to. in india, laws and people's actions are more flexible. here i'm thinking more about dealing with people in power, weather getting a permission for something, filing some paper, getting a document. everything functions on a system of "tipping" (or bribery, depending how harsh you want to be)..not unique to india, but very different from US.

I agree with lerasp that there are no strict procedures - with corruption and red tape - knowing the right people is very important and it can be very frustrating.

As for breaking into a circle of friends, it's the same everywhere. I live in Washington DC, and compare to most other places what I like is that it's a transiet population so people are friendlier. The same probably applies to NYC and Mumbai, but in most places where people live in the same place as they grow up, they don't feel the need to make new friends. In cities in India though, people do socialize a lot outside of the family and during the week mainly because there is domestic help to take care of housework. Ofcourse, this reduces as children grow up and their school load increases. Nobody socializes during exam season! But, expats tend to form their own circle, just like ethnic groups for their own in the West - you generally socialize with people who you can relate to and therefore are most like you.

its a bit out of context, but while Seattle to India maybe a quite a bit of a transition, so is settling in the US. After years of living in Hong Kong and Singapore, settling into New York has been a mini-nightmare for me over the past 6 months, you name it, banking, phone, subway, driving, crime, and all the tons of paperwork...this city is atleast a decade behind the progressive economies of SE Asia. But I would trade nothing in the world for the unique NYC experience, history/arts/culture/diversity is second to none.

Yeah, I am indian, and while most posts repeat exactly that sentiment, I'd repeat, just go there and experience a few years in a different world(though my guess is your husband's with Microsoft Seattle-Hyderabad duh! or some hi-tech) and those guys make it really comfortable for the expats. Good luck!

Memee: Do you think the life style you had due to your spouses position was typical in any way? You say "stick around" but oh my God if that is what you have seen then I am flabbergasted by what you have apparently missed or ignored or chose not to talk about. Yes some can live that life but how many native Indians can? Villagers are no closer to it or that "fancy country club" that I am to Pluto. Perhaps you have what I don't, that insular selective mentality or that bubble. The full reality is much different. BTW I too have seen what you have described. We have dined in numerouis 5* restaurants and seen the fineries you have described. However I have also seen much more. Your husband was very fortunate to not have to deal with most of what can be so frustrating or to have dealt with it on its fringes but you can't substitute one smaller part of the picture and make that the core of the work. India has much to see and do and I admire Indians for their family spirit, work ethic and inner strength but please don't fail to note all that is so apparent. You can't fix what you don't see. JM2C.

I think lifestyles for Indians vary considerably, depending on class and, probably, caste. I stayed with a middle class family in Delhi (husband worked as a tour guide, wife as a translator at one of the embassies). They lived in an apartment complex outside the center, with a live in maid (young enough she should have been in school), a woman who came in to sweep the floors, a man who watered the plants and washed the car, a man who walked the dog, and someone who did laundry, and their groceries were delivered. On the other hand, extreme poverty was very obvious, both rural and urban.

For us that is what we found to be heartbreaking.

BKP, you might have to worry about malaria and other mosquito-borne diseases, like dengue fever and chikungunya that appear cyclically. While it's easy to control what you eat and drink, it's much harder to be 100% mosquito-proof. Even in the beginning of winter and with so much precautions, we still got bitten by mosquitoes several times during our recent visit. It will get a lot worse during the rainy season.

Indians I talk to said malaria is a part of life out there. They simply can't afford to take malaria pills all the time.

You might want to read this "Expat Mom in Bangalore: http://www.chillibreeze.com/articles/ExpatMom.asp

She provides an email where you can write to this mom yourself. She is in Bangalore, but the pros/cons of living in India with a child will be exactly the same in every major Indian city.

"Indians I talk to said malaria is a part of life out there." thats b/s, I lived my my first 24 years of life india, in what I would say moderately comfortable educated middle class surrounding, and while mosquitoes are there everywhere, that doesnt equate to malaria. For one I have never had malaria pills or seen people around my place get malaria, it happens in absolute squalor, poor and ditry area of the city where the sanitation isn't too active or effective. Most municipalities in big cities take ample care to fog insecticides, and they have done so for as long as i can remember. Basically dont get paranoid, a few mosquito bites don't lead to malaria, malaria/dengue is vectored by special mosquitoes found in the most filthy areas.

that said, i really wasn't prepared for a bed-bug epidemic in a doorman midtown manhattan building i moved into :)

interesting article...seems a bit on too optimistic side - everything is wonderul! but everyone is different.

This entire thread brings to mind something I've read over and over about India. People respond with to her with passion one way or another. You won't get bored. :D