Would you share a table?
 

Just got back from a great weekend in the mountains and have been wondering about something since yesterday morning.

3 of us went to breakfast at the best place in town for breakfast (AND fresh from the gulf seafood on weekends :-) ). The restaurant had been popping all morning and it was still packed at late morning. Parties of 2, 2 and 3 were waiting, and the owner's mom (serving as hostess) asked if any of us were willing to share a table. First party of 2 declined, leaving the rest of us to share a large table, a delicious breakfast and wonderful company! The conversation and interaction with this impromptu dining group was one of the best parts of the weekend. Youngish group of 3 and retired couple of 2 founds LOTS to talk about, laugh at, and stories to share. It was just a delightful time.

I'm just wondering...how many of us would be willing (most of the time) to share a table with total strangers in order to be served faster - and how many would most often say "No thanks".

I would definitely be happy to share a table..we shared a table in Spain at a winery with a single gentleman and learned so much about the area...We travel as a couple, leaving the group stuff to those who like to have the same conversations over and over...there is much to be learned from others...different views, different perspectives..that's why we love to travel.

Unless it was a "special occasion" where we would want to be alone...I think we'd opt for sharing rather than waiting.

And truthfully, so many times in a restaurant the tables are so close together...you might as well be sharing!

Debi

K-Paul's in New Orleans used to require everyone to share a table in order to fill up the seats and sit as many people as possible. There was always a long line waiting, and I'd often go in alone for lunch - the anticipation of what interesting souls I would sit with was as exciting as waiting for the delicious food! :)

If we were on vacation and it wasn't a romantic meal or anything, absolutely. Some of our best memories of Africa involved shared tables...a B&B in the winelands, group dinner while on Safari at our game lodge, communal breakfasts while at an eco lodge,etc. We were often the only Americans there and having conversations with the Africans and tourists from other countries was just wonderful.

On the other hand, if it was our weekly "Date night" which is our opportunity to catch up and have fun and deal with the "business" of running our family (will you make the tball game tuesday? we need to okay plans for the kitchen remodel, can you meet with the designer on friday am? etc.),then I would pass.

Glad you had a wonderful time. Sounds like the other couple missed out.

taitai

This is a common practice in Germany. We were once seated with two German ladies who spoke absolutely no English. We just nodded, smiled, ate, and they wished us a good appetite (in German) when our food arrived at the table.

No big deal. Only in the U.S. is it a big deal. :-) ((b))

Yes, especially at breakfast.

Have you ever been on a cruise? There are no regular seatings for breakfast & lunch. They fill up the tables as people arrive. You never know who you are going to be sitting with from day to day. You meet all different kinds. ((b))

Absolutely - I travel a lot in the UK and on the continent where it is almost expected in many casual places. Everyone shares w/o batting an eye. Sometimes you chat and sometimes not - but sharing a table only makes sense.

Here it isn't as much ingrained in the culture -

I do enjoy this style once in awhile. I like B&B's for this very reason. My Husband does not. I like to meet people from all over.
As budman said, this is common priactice in Germany. We met many interesting people sharing a cozy table.
I guess if I were going a couple of blocks away to a nice restaurnat on a Fri night after a hard week and a "weird" or obnoxious person sat with us I would be upset. :)

With DH and my many travels and tours we have shared tables many times. We love it, as we meet very interesting people from all over the world. And have kept up correspondence with many.

We totally would, except, as stated, when there might be a reason to wish to dine alone.

But, I'm surprised at Budman's description of a cruise. Maybe it varies by cruise line, or maybe things have changed. We spent a few days on a cruise as part of our honeymoon 10 years ago (Carnival). Our table every night was the same 4 couples. We had no idea who they would be going into the cruise, but we spent enough time together, that by the end of the cruise we really enjoyed each others' company. Not enough to keep up after . . . But, it was fun to see the same people each evening and compare notes. We even chose to spend one evening with one of the couples on a shore excursion, because we hit it off enough to know we'd have fun.

I was pleased to see that no one was unwilling to share a table. However, it would probably keep me from ordering something messy to eat...

When traveling, yes. In hometown, no.

Budman was talking about breakfast and lunch on cruise ships...

Common practice in some places in Italy, and in Venice, we shared a table with Trixie and ended up having great conversation and fun--she showed us places in Venice that aren't in the typical tourbooks.

Traveling on train from Seattle to Chicago and back we shared tables at every meal and it was generally a good experience--only once was it really awkward.

Many years ago a friend and I shared a table with another young couple at a little restaurant in Chinatown. Every now and then my friend and I recall what a happy experience it was.

I think sharing a table is worth the risk unless the purpose of the meal is to discuss personal matters.

lol, here I am! No.
Not for breakfast..I am doing well to speak to the server, I don't want to sit at a table of strangers in the morning.
Dinner would be better but even then, when I am on a holiday, I don't really want to share meals with strangers.
( have I become a curmudgeon yet? ) :D

Definitely! and like above posters have mentioned, there would be certain times that it wouldn't work for me/us, but sometimes my hubby and I will sit at a counter or at the bar to eat.....and in those venues you also get to meet and greet if you feel like it!

We would probably be in the "No, thank you" group. Mostly because, for us, meals are family time, the sort of thing that taitai called their "date night". And that's even more true when we're eating out than when we're eating at home because we're more of a "captive audience"! I would feel rude having family discussions with strangers at the table.

(Mandatory) Sharing a table is standard practice aboard Amtrak dining cars. I liked how the attendent selected the seat for you and even asked all to introduce themselves. I've found that in some NYC restaurants too, you ARE going to be sharing a table if you a party of 1 or 2.

For other than special occasions it's no big deal. I enjoy meeting & talking with people. If I'm at a place where you get your own food and find a table, I usually have no reservations about asking "May I join you?" and am seldom denied. Knowing some are not as extroverted as me, I think having an employee "matching" people up makes it easier for all.

It really is mostly a US phenomena that people are so closely guarded about "their" space.

If I am alone, sure why not.

If I am with my family, or even with just my husband, no thank you. If I knew I would have to share, I'd rather stay home and cook. Our time together is limited and therefore highly valued.

jlm_mi, budman was referring to breakfast and lunch on a cruise, where there is no assigned seating.

Most of the time, we enjoy being seated with other people--and, if they aren't our cup of tea, oh, well, it's only one meal.

That's part of the fun of dining at Mrs Wilkes in Savannah. I love chatting with others so would be happy to share.

I definitely would. My DH, who is quite shy (opposites attract!), always teases me that I have this obsession about starting a conversation with everyone I meet - at the grocery store, restaurants, tourist attractions, etc. I just really enjoy meeting new people - you can always learn something new or get a new perspective. And since it's just the two of us, we get plenty of alone time so sharing a meal with others wouldn't be a big deal. The more the merrier! Good question, Starrsville!

I would do it at breakfast or lunch, but not at dinner. It could be very interesting - has anyone been to the Carnegie Deli? You never know who you'll meet!

I would most often say yes. Once in awhile, especially for breakfast, I would probably say no.

Our one cruise experience together (late 50's and age may make a difference, I don't know):

My SO is extremely gregarious. We did NOT have any assigned seating EVER on the cruise. It was Princess any time dining.

We ended up finding some friends from his GM days and we sat with larger groups in different dining rooms until we found a great waiter from Romania and then came to her section at all different times.

The cruise experience may be quite different now, if you want it to be different. This goes for breakfast and lunches as well. You could sit alone, you could sit with group arranged, you could sit with whoever came alone etc. We did all three.

And there IS a downside to just joining a table. I liked it and would often say yes myself, but I did get tired of hearing the same introductory stories from my partner AND hearing the same introductory replies and generic job descripting etc. It wasn't a forum for any intimate or personal family conversation and that was missed. Once we got to know some of the groups the conversation improved, but we didn't even talk to each other in our group with the context that we would have without the others. And sometimes that's a shame.

When alone, I have often said yes and enjoyed meeting people. And with family we always are combined with another group at the Japanese steakhouse format and love that as well.

You're right - I was tired and misread Budman's post. Makes much more sense now that I'm awake! Sorry Budman. :)

You know, I have to add, I'm been seated with another single or duo at Chicago restaurants, and sometimes it is just great and pleasant. But at other times I have felt totally NOT relaxed, which is something you don't want to feel when dining.

There are cold, and frankly rude, food shovers out there you know.

Just like everything in life, if you don't dare, you don't win.

I would share with Budman, but not Starrsville as he would be shoveling down foie gras ;-) We did a lot of that in Switzerland, as many restaurants are set up that way. We've shared many, many times at Bed and Breakfasts. People usually expect and look forward to that, and we've discovered a lot of good travel tips from those people.

Depends on the situation.

Assuming I was with someone, it wasn't a special occasion and the other people looked OK yes.

But I have turned the option down when traveling alone and the potential sharer was a single man I didn;t especially like the looks of.

I think people who had bad experiences sharing cruise tables will never share a table again :))

It depends who I am with, do I want it to be romantic or want to talk to people in my party only, if this is my family or I travel alone, what language do they speak... or even how much makeup I have on :)

There is no straight answer "yes" or "no", only "it depends".

Oh, another situation: travelling alone sitting with some love birds, who can't care less if you even exist. NO, THANKS. ;)

After reading through these, and you've all brought up great points, I think I'd definitely want to know ahead of time that I'd have to sit with someone else, so I could make an informed decision. I'd hate to wait for seating only to find that our private dinner was going to be shared with a party of 10.:-D

After thinking a bit more on this, the only way I wouldn't share a table is with someone who is smoking. You never know who you'll meet or what you can learn. We've cruised a dozen times and have kept in touch with a lot of our tablemates. So what if someone isn't friendly or talkative or a little too much of both. I think there are some really closed minded people out there...gee..

Sometimes, it's called discriminating. But call it what you want, as a single female traveling, I have found it to be necessary.

I’d say possibly. Yes, if I am traveling in a known tourist location and would run into other tourists or friendly locals. I’d say probably not to sharing a table with fellow locals in my home town which is not known as a tourist locale. Except if I inadvertently run into Kal and then definitely NO. ;)

What an interesting thread. My first response was NOPE..but then I realized that some of the little restaurants my husband and I go to in NYC have tables right next to each other. You kinda are dining at the same table! I'm sure many people know what I'm talking about. But to really answer your question, I would say "no thanks" to sharing a table in order to be served faster.

Why NOT in your own community, even if it isn't "touristy"?

Surely (I mean Suzie) you don't know everyone in your town?

A local coffeehouse has some great entertainment daily, and it's a given that you'll be sharing tables. No big deal. ( http://moonandrivercafe.com ) You never know who you're going to meet, and it's only a meal or a coffee, not a lifetime that's being shared.

Who was it who stated something about there being to strangers, just friends we haven't met yet?