Why Would You Only Thank One Person?
 

Here I am again, and I must get something off my chest that's been bugging me about posters and those that reply to them. Have you noticed how people will have maybe four respondents to their question, and they will thank maybe only one??? Now, I think, whether a person's advice is helpful or not, you could at least thank them for trying to help you! Am I the only one who's noticed this? <BR> <BR>L:)

Thanks Lucy for making a fool of yourself!

Lucy, get a life! Nothing interferes with this forum more than those that waste everyone's time trying to regulate all that goes on here, or as a venue to express witless insults. <BR> <BR>It's nice when someone take the time to say thank you, but it is not necessary. Sometimes several people comment, but only one actually answers the question. <BR> <BR>Those concerned can perhaps add an anticipatory thank you at the end of their question. <BR> <BR>In any event - please don't hound us with your petty etiquette demands.

EXCUSE ME, bj/xxx (you're probably the same person!) but I say it is necessary to say thank you to people when they try to be helpful, if you want to be thought of as a civilized person. The point is that several people tried to help you, and it's nice to thank them, no matter which one answered what! But considering your rude manner on this board, you'd probably not be saying thank you to anyone yourself, so what more can we expect from you? And I am certainly entitled to my opinions about this Board, whether you like them or not. There was nothing rude about my original post, unlike yours, and I'm not at all embarrassed!

O.k guys, Get ready for more fun. <BR>You can blast me too! <BR>Lucy, <BR>I agree with you that it would be nice to have people acknowledge others input with a thank you (of course not those who only post to trash someone). <BR>It makes one feel it was worht their time posting. <BR>But, as you have found out , there are some people here and in the world in general who have little or no manners. <BR>Nancy/Emily Post

Thank you all for your comments

Nancy, <BR> <BR>I knew there were other kindred souls out there. The world would be chaos if no one minded their manners! Cheers!

Lucy, you obviously have self-esteem issues and are in need of therapy. Perhaps you could join the group session with Noach and Nancy. Anyone who seriously would start a thread on this topic needs to have her head examined.

Lucy, <BR> <BR>I believe you mean "Why would you thank ONLY ONE person?" <BR>inm

Lucy makes a valid point and the people (or person) who attacked her are rude and insulting.

Well, Noach, it's a forum --- hence the name forum.

Whether or not a thank you is justified simply because someone replies to a post is indeed a matter of etiquette. Sometimes "thanks" is required for an action, sometimes not. For instance, I say "thank you" when I receive a gift through the mail from someone I know; I don't when it's part of request for funds from a charity. The question thus becomes whether etiquette "requires" a thank you to every such poster; a question (like most of the Internet) where old rules may or may not apply. <BR> <BR>Over the years I have posted scores, if not hundreds, of replies to public postings for assistance. It has never passed through my mind that I would get a thanks for doing so. I am gratified when I receive them, but I don't expect them. Maybe I've become too cynical over the relative rudeness of the Internet (which, to my great discredit, I have sometimes contributed to!), but I've never considered bulletin boards a place where the original poster should express thanks for every post -- keep in mind that people will reply literally months after the original question. Bulletin boards are too crowded as it is, and I wouldn't want people to check a thread because they think there's a new message, only to find out it's just "Thanks to all who replied." <BR> <BR>If a specific post is particularly helpful, a private reply is a nice touch (I've both received and sent these); but a public thanks is not something I anticipate.

lucy - were YOU not thanked at one time or another and your feelings got hurt and/or have a bone to pick? i've answered people's Qs on this board before and when i don't get a thank you, it doesn't bother me at all

Paul, <BR>Thanks for stating your view. (right on target IMO). <BR>P.S. - No 'thank you' required.

As I sit here,hung over,on an early sunday AM,deeply enthralled by this heady debate I feel that I must THANK each and every one who has contributed to this discussion even,if only,in a small way.God bless!!!!

And I would especialy like to thank those who did not respond.

Well first I'd like to thank Lucy for starting this inane drivel,I'd also like to thank Noach for whatever??? as well as AMS for his indepth coverage of south Florida and my significant other for allowing me to use the PC on occasion and last but not least my parents(Mr.&Mrs.Mystery)without whom none of this would be possible. THANKS !!

I agree with Paul on this one. In fact, it bugs me when people start a thread and then break back in with a thank you for every person who responds. It doubles the size of the thread, of course, which makes it take longer to load. I say it is better to say thank you when you decide you have received enough information and you want to signal that others should consider your question fully answered. <BR> <BR>Thank you.

Have always done my thanking to Fodorites in private, away from the forum. Suppose Lucy, etal., want to see each and every thanks. Get a life! <BR>

Cindy, <BR> <BR>I never said that a poster needed to "break back in" to answer after every post, although there's nothing wrong with that. I just say when somebody goes out of their way to help you, a thank you is certainly not out of order no matter where it comes in, and no matter how long the thread gets.

Lucy, I would thank you if you left this board.

Speak for yourselves, wiseguys, I like polite people!

One thing I now realize I was remiss in not bringing up in my post last night. Although it is not clear whether etiquette requires posting a thanks on a bulletin board for people who reply; etiquette DOES forbid nastiness in ALL forms of communication, including public boards like this one. I haven't always lived up to this ideal, but I still hold to it. This means one never insult any poster's intelligence, motivations, or ability to have a life. If you conclude someone is posting idiotic commentary (and I've seen LOTS of that over the years!), you either ignore the words or try to point out the person's fallacious train of thought.

Well said Paul. Thank you. <BR> <BR>As long as we are on the subject of ettiquette, I think I would like to see more people admit when they are wrong or out of line or rude or whatever. It seems that very few people are willing to admit that someone else was right. And you just never see a plain old apology when someone posts something that is a little rude. Just doesn't happen.

So, I take it both of you will denounce all of those of who have viciously and gratuitously attacked me ?

Funny you should mention that, Noach. If I recall, someone recently invited you to apologize for some things you admitted doing. You refused. So I'm afraid I can't take up for you. But if you are able to muster the maturity to apologize for sending unsolicited e-mails to people that creeped them out, I might begin to feel differently.

Noach, I thought you recently announced you weren't going to post anymore. Darn, I would have said thanks if that had been true.

I have already explained in previous posts that I did absolutely nothing wrong. Here is what happened. <BR> <BR>Around half-a-year ago I emailed a few people from this forum who either lived in Hawaii or who seemed to have a lot of Hawaii travel experience and seemed like nice people. (key word being 'seemed') <BR> <BR>The letter began like this: <BR> <BR>"I have seen your posts in the Fodor's U.S. forum and you seem like a nice <BR>person so I thought I would send you this description of a very special <BR>situation which I am trying to find. I realize that is very likely that <BR>you will not be able to help but I thought I would try just in case." I went on to ask that they please keep my letter annonymous and to thank them for <BR>their time. I seem to recall only sending this to three people from the U.S. forum but I may have sent it to one or two or more, certainly not more than that though. <BR> <BR>I may have re-sent my email to those who didn't reply and asked if they received it but other than that I never emailed them again. <BR> <BR>I was shocked, horrified and hurt at how one or more of the people I had confided in turned against me in such a treacherous, vicious and sadistic manner. They have made it sound as if I sent something obscene or threatening, which is absolutely not the case. <BR> <BR>For these people to then ask ME for an apology is truly warped and perverse. It reminds me of the case where a burglar tripped over something in his VICTIM's house and then sued his victim.

No, xxx, that was one of the numerous forgeries which you saw. I only said, around a month ago, that I MAY disappear at any time and I thanked those who had been supportive.

Noach, I have to say that I can't help but feel sorry for you. I don't understand why you didn't leave this Forum ages ago since you've obviously been turned into a punching bag for the bullies on here. You're obviously looking for friends, and haven't found them here. There are people who troll this Forum, who are probably somewhat interested in travel, but who seem more interested in finding some reason to belittle people or insult them. <BR> <BR>Everybody has a right to post their ideas on this Forum, including you, whether you have traveled much or not. But I honestly don't understand why you stay to talk with people here - some of them are rude beyond belief, and get a sick thrill out of abusing people, I believe. <BR> <BR>I wish you the best, Noach.

To all posters who have given me so much information. Thank you. To all those who have read or used any information that I have given, You are welcome. This is a board not a chat room. There is no need to thank anyone for information given or received. My thanks is in the fact that someone may use whatever I have may impart. <BR>Lucy you remind me of my late mother in law. She would insisted that I must send her a thank you card for the birthday card she send me. In return she had to send a thank you card for the thank you card I sent to her. And on it went.

Noach, <BR> <BR>You still don't get it. You say you sent the following to a few people: "I have seen your posts in the Fodor's U.S. forum and you seem like a nice <BR>person so I thought I would send you this description of a very special <BR>situation which I am trying to find." But you left out the most important part. What did you tell them was the "very special situation" you were trying to find? A wife? A tryst? If you are going to say it was a big secret, well, then I'm going to think it must have been creepy, as it was described by the folks who received it. And please understand that your desire that an e-mail communication be kept confidential doesn't make it so. There would be no need for confidentiality if you were giving ordinary travel advice, which is the purpose of this forum. <BR> <BR>Please give this some thought and consider if you be able to accept even the slightest amount of responsibility for the unfortunate treatment you are receiving on this board.

IF I EVER SAW A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHY THIS SITE NEEDS TO BE MORE CLOSELY MONITORED BY FODORS, IT'S THIS INANE THREAD!! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH TRAVEL. ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS KIND OF THING, PLEASE ANSWER TODAY'S GRAB BAG QUESTION AND REQUEST THAT FODORS ELIMINATE NON-TRAVEL RELATED POSTINGS!

BJ <BR> <BR>1. Please don't shout. Thank you for your cooperation. <BR> <BR>2. Please don't post on threads obviously having nothing to do with travel only to shout that the thread has nothing to do with travel. Thank you for your cooperation.

I agree with Paul on this one! <BR> <BR>And Noach-You were asked to apologize because of the tone and comments in your posts! You have a bad habit of name calling and insulting people who dare to criticize or question your posts. I have been on this Forum for a long time and from what I have read of your postings the true Travel advice you give is rare. Most of the time you are moralizing, preaching or just plain rambling on about things which have no relevancy here.

Come on, everybody! 'Fess up! This "inane" thread, as someone called it, is one of the reasons you love this <BR>Forum! If no one said anything other than, "Go to the Hyatt," how boring would that be? And if you didn't see what you might consider a "questionable" post, who would you have to kick around? So lighten up, and let Noach post what he wants - it's no skin off your back! It's just a forum!

Lucy, I've noticed you haven't thanked everyone who's posted here, nor have I seen you say "you're welcome" to people who have thanked you.

I'm with Charlie (up a ways on this thread).on this one. <BR>I'm going to start only reading these threads when I have a <BR>hangover so maybe then they won't seem too stupid. Thank God <BR>A long weekend is coming up! <BR>

No Chuck, you have it backwards. It's other people who have done that to me far more than I ever have done to anyone.

I would thank you all to kiss my lilly white ass and enjoy it.