Who's Afraid to Send Back Their Food
 

I have never sent back food in a restaurant due to it not being prepared to my satisfaction. Part of that is due to my nature. If the food is bad, I just won't go back to that restaurant. Over the past decade or so, I have heard stories of resentful restaurant staff doing deplorable things to returned food and reserving the food back to the hapless customer. And, of course, there is the infamous admission of Jesse Jackson and the dastardly things he did to food to spite customers. Any other Fodorites afraid to send back ill-prepared food?

Ummm, put me in the "afraid" category also.

Not saying that I expect that this is even close to the norm, but I've heard enough accounts from people in the restaurant biz to want to take the chance.

If the food's bad, I'll just not return to the restaurant.

Hi Shane, I understand what you are saying as I too have heard those stories.

I rarely encounter a problem with restaurant food except that once in awhile due to food allergies I have to talk to the food server to point out I cannot eat the dish and the cook/chef did not follow the instructions the server wrote out. I am always pleasant about it and so far I have never had a problem.

If I go to an unfamilar restaurant and am not enthused about the food I just don't go back. This happened to my family and I this last Easter. The chef refused to serve primerib "medium". I waited until I paid the bill and than explained why I was not returning. I also mentioned how pleased we were with our server (who was at the mercy of the chef who evidently has an inflated ego).

One time I went to a restaurant we frequent and ordered a new item on the menu. It tasted so bad I called the waitress over and said I need to order something else. I had no expectation that the bad meal would be removed from my bill and I wasn't going to ask, but there was no way I could eat that food. Although I didn't ask, the waitress spoke to the manager and they did remove it from my bill. A couple of months later we returned to that same restaurant and that new item had been taken off the menu. I bet they heard from a lot of displeased customers.

Another time I ordered a chicken breast and it was only half cooked. Chicken should never be served medium rare, so there was no hesitation to send that back.

So to answer your question, I am not afraid to send back food, but I only do it in extreme cases.

I don;t send back food unless they actually serve the wrong thing - or something completely different than described. We simply don;t go back if the food doesn;t measure up>

But sometimes you have no choice. We recently went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. For medical reasons she has to be very careful what she eats and asked for something with sauce on the side. It came without the sauce - but swimming in a pool of butter and we had to send it back.

In this case it was a place we knew well - and the owner apologized.

In any case - if we have to send something back we do it very politely - and if someone's attitude makes it seem like it will be a problem - this has happened only once - simply left without eating anything - and telling the maitre d why. He didn;t offer to compensate us at all - confirming my suspicions of the place.

We send food back rarely. Not because we are afraid, but we usually never have a problem. I think it depends a lot on the restaurant and how you do it. a few times I have ordered something and did not like it, so I will ask to order sometning else fully indending to pay for both items and finding the original item was not charged. Once in Mortons my husband got a sub par steak. We politely told the waiter, then the maitre'd came over and apologized many times. He got a new steak and a lobster tail - which was very nice. The only time we have ever returned anything is if it is not as ordered or undercooked, overcooked or just plain bad.

I have actually returned more cocktails than I have food.....now that's opening up a whole can of worms I'm sure. I am a grey goose martini drinker, and I can tell when it is not. I do return the drink and get a new one...but when you pay 12.50 for a drink it should be what you pay for.

Annabel, for $ 12.50 a martini, it better be the best one you ever had. The most I ever paid for a martini was for about $ 9 at Harry's Bar in Venice.

As I said, I've never sent food back. The closest I ever came was at the Fisherman's Inn at Kent Narrows on Maryland's eastern shore. I ordered fries with my fish and they were not even warm. How does one screw up french fries? So I never went back to Fisherman's although it is ten minutes from my house- The Narrows and Annie's Paramount have better food anyway.

I do return food if I have a reason.

Once I went to the Legion of Honor, San Francisco, cafeteria, ordered something from the menu, 40 minutes and 2 reminders later they brought me some different dish. Refunded money on the spot, I went to a different place.

Once in a restaurant in Walnut Creek my husband ordered chicken-vegetables, got chicken salad. Asked to change.

Once in Reno my order was late, and the waiter was very upologetic, I didn't say anything, still with my husband we got a complimentary dessert :)

So it depends... if I have a valid reason to send a dish back, I do so. If it's just something I don't like, don't come back.

If I was afraid the employees will do something to my food or to me I'd never go to a restaurant, I'd never see a doctor, I'd just stay at home being afraid of a terrorist act of any size.

Oh, and I got sick only once after eating on a train.

We once sent back a dish that had an unexpected presentation.

At a restaurant we frequented enough to know the owner, my friend ordered one of the specials which was an octopus stew. When his dish arrived, I immediately knew we had trouble. It took my friend a moment or two to realize that, underneath all that delicious sauce, there was a whole octopus. The head had been removed, but the nine-inch legs were intact and still attached to one another. My friend had eaten octopus before--he was expecting the usual bite-size pieces.

As I watched him blanch (and tried to keep from laughing), I whispered, "You can send it back and have the chef cut it into pieces."

"No, I can do this," he said, but I knew trying to disect his meal would turn take away his appetite. Again, I pressed him to seek the help of the chef.

Our waiter noticed that something was up and came to our table, asking if there was a problem. My friend looked up, smiled brightly, and said, "Could you have the chef cut this into smaller pieces?"

The stew returned a few minutes later in bite-size pieces. Later the owner of the place came over, laughing, and apologized for giving my friend such a fright. "We serve it the traditional way," he said.

I wouldn't be "afraid" but have not had the occasion to send food back.

The one instance I certainly would is if meat or poultry is undercooked or beef is extremely overcooked (you order a steak rare and it comes well done).

We did once order a very expensive bottle of wine in a popular restaurant that was undrinkable. Four of us sampled the wine and agreed it was terrible. We complained and the sommelier tried it, made a face, cursed the absent salesman and quickly gave us a new bottle of something else.

Frankly, Shane, I suspect many fo those "stories" you've "heard" about "the things they do to the food [that was returned]" may be just that: STORIES.

IMO you really are doing the restaurant a great disservice when you do NOT give them feedback about their food, the quality, the taste, the presentation, etc.

I suspect you are probably like most of the other folks who eat in an establishment and that your taste in food, quality requirements, etc., aren't all that different from anyone else's.

So, you "accept" something that ranges from less than expected to just plain bad and don't tell the restaurant folks. So, they end thinking everything is great and they keep doing business the same way after you've left {and perhaps never come back)...so who wins..NOBODY (especially including you).

You could at least give these people an opportunity to make it right for you..OR remain passive-aggressive about the whole thing.

If you're a jerk about it or your reason is lame, be afraid.

Trust me -- I worked as a server while in college, and saw how some of my fellow workers responded to rude returners. The "stories" are real.

If you're unpleasant or petty, <i>be afraid</i>.

Your argument might hold up in a world where there are limited options, Intrepid. But for most of us, with so many other possible choices, why should we care about giving a place a second chance?

And passive-aggressive? Psycho-babble! What, we can't make choices anymore? It's more like survival of the fittest for the restaurant industry.

I order steak rare and if it is served over-cooked I definitely send it back. This happens more often than you would think.

Just recently I had to send back some tuna that I had ordered medium rare and it was barely cooked, still cold in the middle. It was dealt with immediately and with a smile, no problem.
I also sent back an appetiser not long ago in one of our favorite bistros..it was so salty, that I actually started to cough after taking a bite. When that happens, I usually order something else, I have never noticed any hard feelings or bad attitudes when sending food back.
I must admit though, as the customer, I never feel <u>afraid</u> to complain or send something back, I am not a prisoner! :)
I believe it is all in the way you speak to people.

Add me to the list of those who feel that if the food is poorly prepared, I probably will simply choose not to go back. On the other hand if it's something like a steak ordered rare than comes out well done, yes, I will send it back. I realize that even the waiter would have no way to know there is something wrong with the preparation.
I still marvel at our ill-fated meal at the much touted Il Mulino in New York. Our pasta course came out in bowls filled with liquid that looked like soup. Sure enough there had been an attempt to thicken the sauce and it tasted like water and uncooked flour mixed together. It was totally inedible! When the waiter took it away, he said we didn't eat much. When I told him what I thought, his response was to say, &quot;yes, it sure looked strange to me.&quot; Then why did the chef put it out if it even looked strange, and why would the waiter serve it if he knew it looked wrong? Again, I choose never to go back.

I wouldn't send something back just because I didn't like it, but I would certainly send it back if there was something clearly wrong with it, e.g., undercooked poultry.

The last item I sent back was a mojito made with a sprig of basil instead of mint. Very odd taste, indeed!

I once sent back a capuccino that tasted really weird and peppery. The waiter obviously didn't believe me and was a bit snotty about it, but after he took it away, he must have tasted it, because he came back and apologized. Seems someone had shaken black pepper instead of chocolate on the top!

I've always had pretty good luck with food, but I'll never forget our 10-year-old niece sending her steak back because it was not cooked the way she had requested it. (Can't recall if it was severely over or underdone.) I would never have had the nerve at that age!

Whenever I eat out, I just assume that there's &quot;something&quot; in my food. Makes life easier that way. Whether you send it back or not, wait staff and chefs still have bad days and need to take it out on someone.

Shortly after the last time this subject came up, my DH and I went out to a new Italian restaurant -- my dish was incredibly salty, just horrible.

I kindly explained that I couldn't eat it and asked to order something else, which I did. I then noticed that 3 of the waitstaff hoovered around the plate, eating from it. I was disgusted by that, fearful of what &quot;surprises&quot; might lurk in my next dish, so we asked for the check -- lo and behold, we were charged for not only the dish I sent back, but the replacement.

Since that time (6 months) the place has shut down.

I'm not picky but when something is undercooked or unreasonably seasoned, I will bring it to the attention of the server. Recently I had the lemon chicken at PF Changs -- too much lemon covered by way too much sugar. They happily prepared a different meal for me and also gave me a free drink, which was unneccesary but appreciated.

Like Scarlett mentioned, it's all in the approach and I am usually satisfied. The Italian place I mentioned above was an exception -- I just had one of <i>those</i> feelings it wasn't going to work out.

I agree with Intrepid1. These stories are just that - fiction. Other than seetheworld's experience of having to watch the staff eat the returned food (gross!), can anybody actually give me a firsthand account of their food being tampered with? Or even of observing food being tampered with?

Those of you who work(ed) in the restaurant industry and say that devious things are done to the food of complainers, must work in LOW CLASS places. As an owner (22 years) of a successful restaurant, I can tell you that NEVER EVER would we tamper with a patron's food. Especially a complainer - my goodness how stupid would that be? If I ever caught one of my staff tampering with the food, they would be fired on the spot, no question about it.

Go to a place with a good reputation, and you can be sure they'll &quot;make good&quot; on any problem you have. That's why they're still in business.

You make a good point Joan.

My sons both worked as table runners for a fine local restaurant and if they brought the wrong dish to a table (not that it happened often) once it was placed on the table it remained as a &quot;gift&quot; or it was disposed of -- No switching. We love going there because we can always be assured of a fine product. Mistakes can happen but it is how they are fixed that make a lasting impression.

Hi seetheworld, I sure agree with your comment that mistakes happen but it is how it is dealt with that makes the impression.

I go to a local restaurant that sometimes messes up and ends up putting corn or cheese on my food although I talk to the server and know that they write it properly on the ticket. About 10% of the time the chef goofs up and I cannot except the dish. I am always pleasant about it. I always have the manager come over and apologies and things are taken care of immediately. So I keep going back.

The experience that I had at a newish restaurant in my city on Easter left me feeling the chef was completely in control (even though he is an employee and not one of the owners). He will not serve primerib unless it is rare! No discusssion, period. I talked to the owner afterwards and evidently the owner is &quot;afraid&quot; to upset the chef. So they sure lost my business.

We have a new restaurant that was taken over by a person who has owned a darling coffee shop in our city for about 15 years. Their second location is wonderful and I have eaten there quite a bit the last couple of weeks. The owner and the staff knock themselves out to make sure that their customers are happy and that is the way that it should be. Not absolute gourmet food but good food (too much actually) and a place you can count on day in and day out. That is nice. I am sure they will be as successful as they have been at their first location.

As far as feeling bad if I don't go back to a restaurant that does not know how to take care of problems, I don't. I was in business to long to respect a business that does not know how to treat their customers/clients properly. And I am a very loyal customer of businesses that do.

Tried a local restaurant for the first time today and ordered Portabella mushroom and roasted garlic pizza.

When it came the mushrooms weren't fresh they were marinated and tasted very vinegary - yuk!!!

I tried 2 slices before I narrowed the nasty taste down to the mushrooms and pushed the pizza aside. The waitress took the price of the pizza off the check and therefore got a good tip. She did offer to order a different dish for me but by then i didn't want to try anything else.

DH ordered a Philly cheesesteak sandwich and said it was very good - because of the waitress (we didn't ask her to not charge for the pizza) we'll give the place a second chance

The female half of a couple that we go out to dinner with on a regular basis always sends something back. Since this is her only horrible trait, I decide that it balances one of my horrible traits. She is a registered dietician and has worked as a waitress for many years. Since she has no fear I guess I don't either but usually you have to wait so long for a replacement that it hardly seems worth it.

Oh chaz, we had a relative that always sent his food back without fail. We loved him bunches but it was so annoying and really messed up the dinner for everyone else. He even got teased about &quot;how come you are always the only one that gets a dish that was not prepared properly&quot;, but even that didn't faze him. My DH thought of it as an attention getter or control issue (this relative was way up there in the Military). Wonder if anyone every did &quot;anything&quot; to his food, LOL.

LoveItaly, I have no doubt your friend in the military did have things put in his food for certain, when FIL started in the military as a cook he told me the stories of what men did to the officers that got on their bad side....you don't want to know.

There are shows on tv every now and then that show what happens when secret cameras are in the kitchen and I saw where someone sent their steak back and the cook dropped it on the floor before serving it back to the customer. I'm sure it happens a lot and count me as one that does not send food back, we just never eat there again:)

LoveItaly-oops, not friend, relative. My dad does that too from time to time, a courageous soul:)

Oh travelinwifey, I just read your post, LOL. Ick and Ick!! Uhm, guess I can assume that is also true of the men that have to work in the officer's home as well?? I am afraid of the answer. The female relative was quite the &quot;general&quot; in her own way with the staff if you know what I mean.

OMG - ignorance is bliss sometimes, we were always served delicious meals but I don't want to know the details. Thanks again for sharing travelinwifey :((

I have a friend who worked for several years as a health inspector for her county. Just remember: it hasn't killed you yet, and ignorance is bliss.

Hi Marilyn, that is so strange that you just posted your comment as after I wrote mine I had the same thought. I am still here, alive and well. Great minds do work together, right? Happy weekend to you two.

Hello, LoveItaly! Hope things have eased a bit for you. Enjoy the weekend -- weather is supposed to improve.

I don't SEND back food, I get up and take it back myself, then watch while they get my order corrected.

Then of course I never return to the restaurant because I'm known as the kitchen-crasher!

Travelinwifey--LOL! My DH is a retired Naval Officer...and I remember way back in his early career he told me he was always VERY nice to the cooks:) I know several times we had meals with him on the ship and the crew would come chat with us and they were so nice. I think I am glad my dh was liked! lol!

:):):) Mms, now you can give your husband confirmation of his worst fears! And I'm sure the cooks treated him well. As for the stories, let's just say it has to do with 1 &amp; 2.... double ick:O

I also have gross out stories from my spouse's work and things in food in Las Vegas buffets but as it's been written above, ignorance is bliss:)

Travelinwifey--LOL! Yes, doesn't surprise me. Not sure if that is a good thing or not? At least retirement was good! lol!

Count me as a wimp when it comes to sending food back. It has to really be bad for me to do that. I did send back some chicken once that was clearly undercooked. I won't eat that ever.

One time I just didn't like what I chose and the waiter noticed I wasn't eating it. It wasn't badly prepared. I just didn't like it. He immediately asked what I wanted to replace it and got it for me. That was unexpected and very kind.

My mother is a coffee lover. If her coffee ever arrives cold or old, she lets the server know about it. I can remember going out with her once and she got old coffee with her lunch. She asked the server when it was prepared and the waitress said, &quot;In the morning.&quot; Mom shot back, &quot;Yesterday morning?&quot; I almost crawled under the table. The waitress brought her a freshly made cup but I have my doubts as to whether or not the food we got was totally untampered with due to Mom's less than kind reply. Thankfully, she hasn't replied like that since.

It's all in the attitude of the request, I think. If you're nice about it, most of the time servers will comply without acting rudely.

I'm reminded of an incident at a supposedly very upscale restaurant here in Naples some time ago. Several of us were having dinner. One guy had a steak he literally couldn't eat, having removed pieces of gristle from his mouth a couple of times, he finally gave up. When the waiter came by he asked why he wasn't eating. Our friend refused to complain, but one of our other guests told the waiter that the steak was nothing but gristle and too tough to eat. The waiter whisked it away and as we ate, we expected him to return with a new steak. After some time, we asked the waiter where the new steak was. He replied, &quot;the chef said if you didn't like that one, there's nothing he could possibly give you that would please you. We only serve the finest steaks.&quot; He walked away and our friend went without dinner.
The restaurant has since closed.

Oh Patrick, sounds like what will happen with the &quot;once&quot; fantastic restaurant in my city. Other residents have said they are not going back to it as the chef insist that you have the food the way he wants you to have it or you don't get it. The restaurant is not long in business IMHO.
Take good care.

Take it from someone who has worked at four restuarants in Europe and the US in his day. If you give the server attutude you shouldn't eat the food that is brought back to you. Jerk customers often get their food nastied-up. I worked as a cook but I know the servers do this sometimes.