Wearing Black to a wedding.
 

I am going to a wedding and will be wearing a light colored silk cocktail dress. My friend is bringing a black tea length dress (wedding is in California-evening). I say black is still in bad taste, she says everyone does it.<BR><BR>We have dinner on this one--who is right?

Went to a wedding this weekend and about a third of the women wore black. It was a very elegant party, and the dresses made it even more so. <BR><BR>Things are different now than they were thirty years ago. It is very acceptable now to wear black to weddings.

Last wedding I went to, more than half the women wore black.

I say black is fine for an evening (after 5PM) wedding, any season. I personally would not wear black to an outdoor or informal wedding, and I think black is in very bad taste for a morning wedding, unless its the dead of winter.

Black is completely acceptable for weddings. My bridesmaids wore black dresses (at an 11:30am wedding - GASP!). Black is no longer just for mourning.

The black is now very much accepted. The only problem is if the bridesmaids wear black, it is very hard to tell weather they are guests or memebers of the bridal party. This is what happened at our son's wedding. I think black is great. It goes anywhere at any time.<BR><BR>Have fun

I almost always wear an elegant black dress for weddings no matter what time they are (lengths differ according to formal/less formal), but I live in a metropolitan area where it is accepted. I usually see lots of people dressed just like me at these weddings. So, sorry, I will have to agree with your friend. As long as she doesn't wear a pill box hat with a black veil, she will be dressed appropriately.

Not bad taste any more!<BR>We just went to a wedding where the attendants in the wedding wore black!<BR>

My mother always told me the same thing -- it is never proper to wear black or white to a wedding.<BR><BR>That being said, EVERYONE in NYC wears black to weddings. Of course, they wear black everywhere, but that's another story. . . .<BR><BR>I think this rule about black has simply gone by the wayside (I still would not wear white, though).

ok is this for real??? How about white? Sequins anyone? mickey mouse ears??

Black is fine, everyone wears it. I agree I wouldn't wear it outdoors or in the morning though.

Just because "everyone wears it, does not make it in good taste." Everyone wears t-shirts and jeans but would not (I hope) consider wearing that to a wedding. Black has become a type of uniform. I think a lady who wears black to a wedding does so because she is unaware of style and of colour, thinks she is too fat, has low self esteem or is on a limited budget. Don't wear black to a wedding, it is one of the few occasions left that cries for colour.

I fully agree, fashion consultant, and never wear black and was not pleased at how much black was worn at my wedding in 2001....but after living in NYC and other world capitals, I have to say IT IS DONE ALL THE TIME...so it is not bad etiquette, more a reflection of trends and also the options for sale at the stores these days.

I think it depends on the wedding. If an evening formal cocktail event, black is fine. Black is very sophisticated and everyone owns the "little black cocktail dress" which is fine for these type weddings. I personally liek color but believe black is fine for an evening wedding. For daytiem events or less formal weddings, black is still a faux pas in my and white, well don't get me started. I hate wearing white anyway, but for a wedding, that is just not right. the bride wears white and if you do too, it is seen as trying to "be the bride" or "steal her day".

Kate, you're going Dutch, because you're both right: it's in bad taste, and everyone does it.<BR>You should leave the tip, however, because it's inappropriate for one adult to correct another's manners--or did your friend as you?

People, people, people....how many eons ago were the "rules" given not to wear black to weddings...don't wear white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day... or the widow that had to wear black for a year.<BR>Times change as has clothing. Get over it - black can be worn anytime, anywhere. <BR>What drives me nuts is that I do not look good in black - it's way too harsh for my coloring - but it's all that I can find on the racks!

Those " Rules" about weddings also said that only a Virginal bride wore white:)<BR><BR>so I guess we know how important the rules are~

I'll chime in here to vote that black is acceptable for after 5pm. And never wear white! I really don't think black is acceptable for an outdoor or daytime wedding. <BR><BR>That said, Kate, I think it's appropriate for your friend to wear black as the wedding is in the evening. I say you're buying.

Why is wearing black to an outdoor event tabu??? I don't get it. Are the guests all supposed to look like flowers?

I don't think wearing black to an outdoor event is tabu. I do think wearing black to a daytime wedding IS tabu. I think what most on this board are assuming, maybe incorrectly, is that if the wedding is outdoors itt must be a daytime garden type wedding and yeas black would not be appropriate for this. I have attended an outdoor evening patio/garden type reception however which was very formal with candlelit tables, strolling musicians, and twinkly lights woven throught he foliage. Black to this outdoor event would be fine in my opinion.

Beth, that is what I was thinking. Black to an outdoor wedding at 11am looks like you went out clubbing the night before and slept at your boyfriend's house and didn't have time to go home and change. But black to an evening, candlelit outdoor wedding is entirely appropriate.<BR><BR>And wearing black pants or a black skirt with a colorful top is not the same thing as wearing a black cocktail dress.

Black is preferable. I'm not clear why there is such an entangled discussion. Go with black at every opportunity.

I would base my decision on the TYPE of dress rather than the COLOR. A formal looking outfit certainly would not fit at a garden party, nor would a more casual look work for a formal affair. <BR>But black doesn't automatically denote formal-wear. (I'm Johnny Cash)

Beth: could you install spell-check on your computer? Geez!

Kate,<BR>Went to an evening wedding here in L.A. and was the only woman who wasn't wearing black....<BR><BR>M.

Teacher,<BR> If everybody installed spell- check, what would you do all day?

No apple: Probably correct your grammar.

OK, wear black if you want to, but I have news for you. Black has been the "in" color for so long that it's now going "out" in favor of colors that actually flatter the individual You. <BR><BR>Frankly, as long as it's appropriate to wear black at a funeral to honor the deceased, it's ALWAYS going to have a slightly funereal hint to it, EVEN if everyone's doing it. I have, however, seen a trend toward wearing white to funerals, so what is that going to do to what brides wear?<BR><BR>I might might maybe maybe consider wearing black with a lot of flamboyant color accessories (scarf, etc.), but probably only if the bride asked me to.<BR><BR>For me, it's a matter of superstition as much as etiquette. It's never appropriate to out-shine the bride, but otherwise it's a matter of how it's going to strike the bride's family, and that depends on what the culture says is a color of celebration (red for some Asian cultures, not white) and what a color of mourning (white for some Islamic cultures, not black).

I did a very informal poll a few months ago about this topic. I asked 20 professional men I know what they thought and those that had an opinion preferred their lady friends to wear colour rather than black outfits. Maybe that's because most fashion dictates they (men) wear dark. Curious.

Have to weigh in with my 2 cents: we were at a wedding on Saturday -- country wedding, early afternoon. The bride's mother wore black, and to me it just struck an off-balance note. <BR><BR>Now, I wear black A LOT. I just don't think it was appropriate in that context. I would not have considered it for my daughter's wedding -- don't want to send the wrong subliminal message! But whoever said that's what is on the racks when you go shopping is right on... Maybe we should just all wear tuxes. End of problem.

Blechh: Black "supposedly" went out a few years ago - and it was replaced with brown - remember that? And back it came. Black will never be out. <BR>Women SHOULD wear what looks good on them - regardless of what is in. But go to any club and guess what color 95% of women are wearing. You're tagged a geek if you have on any other color.

I think that black is inappropriate for a wedding. Call me old-fashoined by now that everyone is wearing black--weddings look just like funerals. Women look so pretty wearing colors rather than safe, hide you hips-black.

Not only is it acceptable for guests to wear black, but I have seen several of the brides' or grooms' mothers wearing black. The first time I saw this was about 8 years ago, and I was surprised [and questioned the choice] but now, it's pretty much the same as 'going black tie'. More and more bridal parties are doing it, and the girls actually get to use the dresses again in this case. My daughter wore a Vera Wang black bridesmaids gown cut down, and it became a very smart looking coctail dress.

RnR, You'll have to revise your standard advice. Haven't you been reading the Style section of the Times? Beige is the new black, which of course may be brown, since last year brown was the new black which would therefore make beige the new brown. Being a fashionista takes hard work.<BR><BR> At any rate, you'll have to replace your standard chorus of "black, black and more black" with "beige, beige and more beige", except for NJ, and we all know what goes there!

Kate,<BR><BR>Hope your friend doesn't pick an expensive restaurant. ;-)<BR><BR>I'll give you my short story. I'll just say this topic has mixed reviews - it really depends on the bride and groom and if their wedding is formal, traditional, country versus city, etc. but black is worn at all nighttime weddings I've ever been to.<BR><BR>The last wedding I went to was a blast. Everyone wore black and their sunglasses. It was a summer sunset wedding, outside 18 floors up, looking at the Empire State bldg from two beautiful wrap around terraces. The bride wore a long beaded black number, strapless. <BR><BR>Did I mention that I was the bride?

Personally, I'm thinking black is growing in popularity as Americans are growing in size. Today's bridesmaids would look like easter eggs if they wore the pastels of yore.

Ah, Nina, that explains it ... I had thought I was on the cutting edge, and here all along it was, of course, the trailing edge. If it's to be beige, then I shall bay on that edge instead. So thankful, to you.

Well hey, Anything Goes, there's a real fear- being called a geek by other adults. Good god get out of jr high.

Sometimes I find myself very amusing ... I agree that black has become the "uniform of choice." This is unfortunate because women with the confidence to wear a colour that suits them do look great and impress me. I am presently packing for my trip to NYC and of course my suitcase is full of black and brown/beige outfits! Ha. Still I have never worn black to a wedding ... yet.

Topping this only because it may be, the longest innocuous thread not about travelling, without a troll attack, how nice.