...The flies outnumber the roaches and they're soooo excited to see you... your wakeup call is "BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"...the continental breakfast that you purchased the night before has already been violated...there's only one corner of the shower that you can hope for- and it rotates like musical chairs as the roaches chase you.
After all, it was "their" home first. (The Towne Motel, Medina, Ohio)

When there is a button on the wall in the middle of the bathroom and a sign beside it that says "Do not push". (Jacksonville, FL)

My son who travels a lot came up with this one.

You know you are in a bad motel when the barefooted guest in the lobby has a toe tag.

As a kid, we were at the Jersey shore for the day. My parents decided to spend the night and we saw a sign saying Pier one motel. My confused mom thought she remembered that being recommended, (It was Pier 17 motel that was recommended). Anyway, the room was pretty gross and there was a huge fight outside our room that lasted half the night. The guy actually threw the room tv at the other guy. My mom broke her toe trying to get between the rollaways to see the action! It was a long night, but we all laugh about our luxury accomodations now!

When the front desk clerk is drunk.


cruisintigger, jellyfish have nothing to do with the hotel, fact of nature.

When I called the desk attendant at a Days Inn in Miami to inspect a pubic hair on a pillow, he told me "Well, there is only one."

Steve--LOL! I guess that helps to explain the nickname for Rotten Groton:D

When you wake up in the middle of the night to the sounds of roaches running all over the room.

When the air freshener doesn't begin to mask the smell of cat urine.
ozarksbill

When the pattern on the sheets move because they are actually bed bugs.

When you spend your time counting the cigarette burns in the sheets.

When you get high from the residual pot smoke from the employee checking you in.

(Yes, I am referring to the Econolodge in Tucson, AZ)

when the desk clerk asks if you're going to be paying for the entire evening or just by the hour

When the manager's grandfather is clipping his toenails in full view of the check-in desk, the room's only light fixture is dangling from the ceiling, and there are suspicious stains on the furniture...all, alas, true.

-You call to make a reservation and the clerk says to call back later.

Yep, that happened to me. Guess what, I stayed somewhere else.

-The card key won't work. Even after returning to the front desk and the clerk runs it through the machine again.

Yep, that happened to me.

-You ask for a late checkout and told it's $5 per hour. WHAT TYPE OF HOTEL IS THIS?

Yep, that happened to me.

-When you show up to check in, the front desk clerk says you can stay one night here, and the next night at the hotel across the street. I refused the offer and said I was staying for my entire reservation. Should have asked if I could have stayed at the hotel across the street for the entire time.

all true stories:

1. when you wake up with new "lovely" tattoos that resemble bug bites.

2. when your mother tells you that under no circumstances are you to take your socks off, even in bed.

3. when the uglier than heck pictures that are in your room are all nailed to the wall b/c god forbid you steal these atrocities.

When there is a handwritten cardboard sign prominently displayed at the check-in desk that reads:

"No crayfish in rooms."

(1985, a Motel 6 somewhere in Louisiana on my ill-fated road trip from Wilmington, NC to New Branufels, TX during which I became deathly ill with some kind of wasting virus.)

When there is a sign posted on the front door stating the desk clerk's hours. Haines, AK

When you get up in the middle of the night to sleep in the lobby because of the bed bugs. Juneau, AK

When cock roaches wake you up. Cairo, Egypt

When you discover a peep hole. south of England

When you share the elevator with two prositutes on a Sunday morning. Minneapolis, MN

When you get car jacked in the hotel parking lot, Springfield, IL

I forgot a couple.

When you open the door to your room and there is a couple in there who say "They told us we would be the only ones in this room". Isreal

When you open the door to the room and find a bunch of hippies living in it. Athens

This would be so funny if it weren't true!

...when there is a hamburger bun floating in the indoor pool (Ramada Inn, Mobile)
....when you wake up covered in itchy welts (Mount Pleasant, Tex)

I posted this as a joke. I just cannot believe some horrifying experiences here!

And I thought that if they forgot to put shampoo in, it means the place is bad! I gotta start counting my blessings!

jorr...LOL...could you please tell us your criteria for picking hotels? I think there's a lesson we all can learn here...

My true story is...when there are no drawers in the bureau (just openings where they are supposed to be); the light in the bathroom goes off, and then on again, and then off in randomly timed intervals; the sole light is one dangling from a wire in the center of the ceiling; and the upper balcony railing is off and replaced with yellow caution tape. (Can you say multiple code violations?)

(Havasupai Lodge, Supai, AZ)