Spontaneous moments while traveling...Nah!
 

I'm curious, is it just me or do most Fodorites generally plan U.S. travel down to the microexperience?

My kids, and now the grands, (lovingly) kid me about my habit of organizing road trips to the point that -- they say -- I schedule "spontaneous moment next Tuesday at 3. Everyone must be there!"

What I admit doing is religiously planning driving routes when I have to move the troops from point A to point B, to the point of Mapquesting every leg to ensure I have a general feel for where the heck I should be heading; comparing hotels to ensure we have the best accommodations for the best price; and trying to plan the day so that we have the opportunity to do something whether we do it or not.

Now, is that obsessive? I tell them it is good planning, and it just makes sense.

Part of this is my age, of course. I am part of a generation that wants to know what's ahead to the extent possible, vs. the generation that hits the road and hopes there is a motel room available somewhere...

Now if we are going out of the country, that's another matter. I book the hotels, trains, planes, etc., but the days are left to accomplish BIG goals (one museum, or one historic site, etc.) rather than schedule the day.

Admittedly, trips can be planned to the point that they are more like a military exercise than a fun outing, but I really don't think we are to that point.

Perhaps you have encountered this sort of comment from yours. If so, I'd appreciate some advice. How do I best respond?

Thanks for any input,

Jim

I admit to also being OCD about planning trips. The key is to be able to abandon your plans where they're not working. I like to figure out what the best restaurants and hotels are, make reservations, and hope for the best. But if it's not working, you need to know when to say when.

The reason that I plan things out so religiously is because often it is the places you go at a vacation destination that make you love it or hate it. You could be visiting the best place, but staying at an awful hotel and eating terrible food, and you would never know it.

I did this when we first started going to Europe. Before that, our travel mostly included 2 kids and it always seemed that we rarely planned past making reservations for getting there and having a place to stay. But we always had good times and I cannot look back and think , I should have planned it more.
Now though, I think I want to be more in control..<i>( yes, it is all about control </i> :) and I want to be sure that I do everything that I have read about and want to do.
Of course, these days, it is just the 2 of us, so there is not that much organizing to do.
We are going to Buenos Aires and I am finding reading so much about everything and the logistics are giving me a headache and I have a feeling I will just make a list of what I want to see and find a hotel I like and just see what happens when we get there :)
((F)) Scarlett

I used to plan out each and every day. I don't do it anymore when I travel in country and enjoy my trips much more than I used to.

Hi JimF, when my late husband and I did road trips in the US we usually but not always had a hotel reservation for the first night. And then we just &quot;winged it from there&quot;. And sometimes we didn't even have reservations for the first night. And the funny thing is I remember the best the trips when we didn't have reservations at all..some funny stories that had us laughing afterward. They still make me laugh to this day.

I guess because we had a business and it seemed like every moment of our working life was scheduled we mostly enjoyed our vacations unscheduled.

I do not take road trips anymore since I am on my own. But I still do not like vacations that are scheduled (no choice when it comes to airflights is there?). I like to know about sights and sites when I travel but other than knowing about times they are open..days and hours..that is about as far as I want to plan.

Jim,
Since your family has already shared
that you over organize, why not invite them in to the solution ? That would be a good first step in relinquishing
some of the reins. Look at the problem <i>together</i> from the same side of the fence,
not oppositie sides of the fence.

R5

My road trip up the California coast in the early 90s cured me of not planning my trips. Although it was beautiful, it was very stressful ending up in places like Santa Barbara or San Luis Obisbo (sp?) and not being able to get a hotel room because of a festival or graduation we didn't know about was happening.

Sleeping in my car is not my idea of a fun vacation!

I now book flights, hotels, cars and certain big adventures (river rafting, whale watching etc)in advance to avoid wasting precious vaction time. But each day is not planned down to the last detail.

I agree, a little planning makes ugly surprises a non-issue. (The last bout of driving from motel to motel because everyone in the state decided to see the fall colors at the same time cured me of worrying about being called unspontaneous.) The trips that come out great are because someone was doing a little planning and making sure things went smoothly, but some family members think that these things just happen! Just recently I was chided for suggesting that 4 adults might need advance reservations for a big show in Vegas (we'll just show up, no problem). I knew better, but went along. Ha.

Like some others I'm the &quot;live and learn&quot; type.
We didn't use to plan anything except flights and somewhere to sleep and then only if we were arriving late.

Then 2 kids came along and the planning increased, partly to ensure a smoother vacation. We didn't plan down to the letter but we certainly had more than the basics booked and contingency plans....

Now that the kids are older we're more flexible again (they can 'rough it' if they have to and so can we!) and it's fun to have greater spontaneity, plus everyone inputs their ideas.

I can see ahead when the dynamics will shift again and I'll feel more comfortable with a well planned trip. I think as you get older you're less prepared to deal with the unexpected or at least you just don't want to!

I am an admitted planner, but my DBF is trying to break me of the habit.

We went to Costa Rica 2 months ago with flights and a rental car, and that's it. We had a guide book and I had read things on the forum here, so I knew basically what I wanted to see - volcano, rain forest, beach. We did it on the fly and had a great time, although my friends were amazed I did it without being completely stressed out.

My trip to Spain in 2004 had every hotel booked, train schedules were downloaded, maps were printed out, museum opening days/hours were researched...you get the idea.

I think going forward it will depend on where we are traveling and what the goals of the trip are.

For our first big vacation as a family I planned down to the nanosecond but that was because the planning was an brief escape from dealing with an illness and ultimate death in my family. The vacation went exceptionally well so I tend to follow that routine for all vacations. But admittedly as time goes on and the kids get older less planning is necessary and we are able to &quot;wing it&quot; more easily than when they were younger.

The good thing about planning and researching is that when you do have those &quot;so what should we do now&quot; moments, you will always have an suggestion ready.

Maybe it is because I travel all the time and know that I will be back to see things I may have missed but I never plan anything when we are traveling for leisure.
Nothing.
We generally have a rough idea of what we want to see.
Sometimes we do none of the items on the list.
We never do tourist stuff or take tours.
We always have a luxury hotel room and periodically decide to sleep late.
I am sure we miss some things but we always have a great, relaxing time... no matter where we go.

Alohaaaa...

&quot;Box the compass&quot; (ie get airfare/hotels and a driving map if you need it) then it's seat of the pants for us.

We've stumbled into a lot of things we may not have otherwise seen if we had been on the clock elsewhere. ((Y))

This is one reason why we really didn't
take to cruising....too regimented.
Mahalo!
Kal

Ps....hello r5! ;;)

My thinking is that I want to know as much as I can about a place before I get there so I can easily be more spontaneous. The trips I haven't had time to 'research' in advance end up with a lot of wasted time trying to figure out what to do next, or where to eat. I'd rather have all the good ideas in my head before I go, and then pick from those ideas. My friends tease me as I call this &quot;Planning for Spontanaeity&quot;.

I do a ton of planning before we leave. I learned the hard way after discovering we were so close to a few amazing places, but I had no idea until after we arrived home.

That said, I don't have an hourly itinerary. I have rough plans for each day, but if we're too tired or see something else, we change. We've changed hotel reservations when we've felt like driving longer (and the town we were scheduled to stay in didn't look too great. This happened last summer driving through Merced, CA). And sometimes mother nature changes your plans - we've been majorly diverted due to mudslides outside Yellowstone and Banff and discovered some neat places along our detour.

I've heard stories that make me shudder about people &quot;winging it&quot;. One friend couldn't stay in Ouray with her family b/c all the places were full. I love Ouray and would have hated to miss it. Plus, when it's late and I'm tired and with kids who are tired, the last thing I want to do is get back in the car and drive further along searching for a place to stay.

My mother-in-law and her &quot;companion&quot; make reservations, but then when they get to their destination, they drive up to other motels and &quot;comparison-shop&quot;. To me, that is a total waste of vacation time!

Jim,

I think a lot depends on where you're going and what time of year. My husband and I love to vacation in our National Parks and prefer to have lodging inside the Parks whenever possible. You just can't do that spur-of-the-moment, especially when your vacation time is mid-May to mid-August. At least we couldn't. Neither of us would enjoy ourselves if we had to worry every Park if we'd luck into a cancellation for the night(s) we wanted.

Also, some activities have to be booked ahead or you're more than likely not going to be able to do them. I plan and schedule things like that, but I'm getting better about planning our hikes. I always have a few &quot;must-dos&quot; and like to know about others, but I no longer feel like I have to know exactly what we're going to do and when.

But I have to admit I'd love to just get in the car sometime and drive. Stopping whenever and whereever the fancy strikes us. Maybe we can when he retires from teaching and our vacation dates can be more flexible. Until then, I'll continue to plan and schedule, compare and research. Besides, for me anyway, all that trip prep is part of the fun.

Happy traveling - however you like to do it.

Fran

You folks have really helped. Scarlett, you particularly have hit a nerve -- in my case, anyway -- it IS about control.

The control I think I am seeking is not mean-spirited (do it my way or stay at home...) but it does have a strong dimension of controlling my environment, regardless of where I am.

By this I mean I plan to the nth so that all goes well, and I know what is supposed to be happening. HOWEVER, and this is the AHA moment for me, when things do not go as they should, I subconsciously think I have lost control.

THAT'S why good vacations are affected or ruined by one mishap! The guidance I am absorbing here is to plan to a sensible point, and then back off, leaving ample time for all kinds of things to screw up. And when it happens -- and it will -- I can handle it without souring the venture.

Man...I talk big now, but wonder if I can REALLY do this...

Thanks, everyone!

Jim

I think it depends on the type of vacation, time of year, and destination. When I went to Spain, I planned/booked the rental, hotels, tickets to the Alhambra, etc. It was far too important to &quot;wing it&quot; and end up not having the full experience.

A lot of road trips can be done with a map and general knowledge of where one is going. However, this can backfire as well. When I went to San Fran with my BF a couple of years ago, I found out very quickly he never plans for anythings. Unfortunately, we played the &quot;what-do-you-want-to-do-I-don't-know-what's-there-to-do&quot; game for most of the first day. All the while he searching through brochures. And wasting all that time. It drives me crazy, and a lot of people who &quot;wing it&quot; do this. I prefer to plan a bit and have knowledge beforehand, so I can hit the ground running, if need be.

On our trips, my BF complains that I &quot;over plan&quot;, but he always comes home raving about what a wonderful time he's had. Go figure....

For the most part, I enjoy planning trips almost as much as going on them! My family makes fun of my prior planning and researching of trips (ok, I admit that the color-coded map of about 90 restaurants all over Paris was a bit much - but I didn't want to be one street away from the perfect pastry, and then miss it), but then turns to me when they want to benefit from a great Indian restaurant at lunchtime, or what the hours are for that museum that we decided to go to, or the easiest way to get from point A to point B!

I like the phrase &quot;planning for spontaneity;&quot; that's what I do. I find great-sounding hotels - on this last trip, it was a misture of a beautiful B&amp;B, a family-oriented motel with a fantastic kids pool, and a one-bedroom suite in New York City. They've all worked out, except for that one horrid place in the early days of the internet - that's the one my family remembers, not all the great places! And for dinner, we book special places ahead of time, and have ideas on the rest. For example, when in Rockport, Massachusetts recently, before we went, I came up with 3 restauarant possibilities, and we could then easily check out in person.

As for activities, I book in advance when necessary, and then have possibilities in advance for most of the rest. And I'll try to organize locations of activities, so we groud activities that are located together. Final decisions are made when we're there, and are based on weather and changes of mind. But it's easier to make decisions if you have the necessary information already at hand.

Lexma90, I'm with you. I feel as though I'm already on vacation when I am busy planning them -- sometimes 2 years in advance! Really, it's a hobby, and I enjoy every moment of it.

And sometimes my family accuse me of lacking spontaniety, of overplanning. Yet, who do they and our friends turn to when they need directions, or suggestions on things to do, places to stay or eat, etc? You guessed it, the rabid planner.

In fact, among our circle of friends, our vacations are legendary. Mostly because we come home with wonderful experiences to share, vs. horror stories of what went wrong. Our best friends are coming with us on vacation this fall, and they ask me often what new &quot;additions&quot; I have made to the vacation plan. We have 4 more months to go.

I do think there is a problem with overplanning, and this is something I think can ruin a vacation, if you don't control it. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Try not to share the minute details of your planning with others. It's not as exciting to hear someone talk about it as it was to actually plan it. Plan in detail, divulge in outline.

2. Don't try to make everyone else comply with YOUR plan. The immediate response is rebellion, and nobody will have a good time. Engage them on what they may like to see, do, eat, etc., and it will be everyone's plan.

3. Let it seem spontaneous. Let them think this is effortless (even though you spent countless hours/days/ weeks/months arranging it). They will appreciate how smooth and effortless things (appear) to go, and not know the difference if things don't go exactly as planned.

4. When things don't go exactly as you planned, don't have a cow. I'm not talking about big disasters here. But I found that it can be disappointing to have something veer off from how you envisioned it, and it's tempting to let it spoil your attitude. Don't. This is when you can feel spontaneous and flexible.

5. Accumulate a semi-secret file of AAA route maps, alternate routes, ferry schedules, restaurant recommendations, things to do, etc. One really good thing to put in your file is some research on things you expect to see, places you'll be, etc. If I don't have something handy when asked, they're disappointed.

6. Don't plan everything. Leave time unscheduled, even if it kills you. And then if the family turns to you for ideas, bring out your &quot;file.&quot;

Great post, sludick. I have been secretly doing #3 for years. Only my closest friends and DH have caught on. And a few have even confessed they really like traveling with me because I'm a walking guidebook &amp; tour guide, but yet don't have a plan for every minute.

Good luck Jim!

sludick - I agree completely with your suggestions! Since I am the travel planner in the family, I frequently am asked for suggestions from family, friends, co-workers, etc. I usually have a file on every place we've traveled that I can pull up and use for tips. One other suggestion that I have found useful over the years, is a &quot;rainly day&quot; plan. I try to have an alternate plan in case of &quot;rain&quot;, transportation strike, or whatever. I try to make &quot;day plans&quot; that can happen on any given day - that way we can be somewhat spontaneous - we can choose a plan for the day depending on the weather, etc.

Ha! I knew there were more of us!

travel_addict &amp; blh, thanx for your comments. travel_addict -- do you think they are humoring us by pretending they don't know what we're diong? blh, I'm adding your great suggestions to my &quot;plan for rabid planners.&quot;

Planning? What's that? At least when we're talking about the NE corridor.

This weekend, my parents did what they used to do when we were kids, &quot;everyone at the car by 8am. we're going to ***.&quot;

So, this weekend, good daughter that I am, I was at the house by 8am, and we were on the road, driving to NJ to check out shopping malls, and then off to Delaware and Pennsylvania.

As long as we don't get lost, I think a spontaneous road trip is fun. That's not to say we didn't get lost this weekend though. We had a most interesting tour of the Philadelphia airport, Wilmington DE, and points in between. And we got a good laugh out of it.

I do love these trips the most.

Now, once we leave the country...the real planning begins. We pick out what major sites we'd ideally see in a day, find all relevant bus and train stations, and we're off for the most part. Like Karens noted, I'd hate to miss something I would have really loved to have seen, only to have found out about it upon my return home. My planning is to prevent this for the most part.

It wouldn't be a vacation to me if my time was planned down to the minute. Even a dinner reservation on vacation tends to cramp my style.

mynyc -- Too true. When we go somewhere closer to home (say, to St. Pete or Cocoa Beach), we like to be completely free of restrictive planning as well.

Of course, those long trips are also long range planning for us, so there is plenty of time to fill in anticipation...

JimF

We have been traveling the good olde USofA and Canada for many years, never once have we made reservations for a place to stay or camp. Never had a problem either. No interstate highways for us, nothing to see or do. At present the only thing I know for sure for this summers road trip is we are departing tomorrow morning out of the SunShineState and we are pointing the van in a northwesterly direction. Plan on being back in time for the peak of hurricane season, that be the end of Aug to mid Sept.... We always depend on AAA Maps, Tour Books and Camp books.

I found this to be an interesting question, my husband and I were actually discussing something similar on our recent trip.

I personally spend a TREMENDOUS amount of time researching and planning which hotels I will be staying at, but beyond this I don't do much else. I also, as others have said, happen to enjoy the research or I wouldn't spend the time doing it. To me, the hotel is a really important part of the trip...it sets the mood and has made some of my trips particularly memorable. Beyond this, I try not to get crazy with other definitely plans. I don't like to make dinner reservations (which rules out some restaurants) because I'm not sure what I'll be in the mood for on a given day and when I'll want to eat. To me, a vacation just isn't relaxing or enjoyable when an entire day is planned from start to finish. Sometimes it exhausts me just reading some of the possible itineraries people have thought out. I can't imagine working out where I would have lunch on a particular day but I know a lot of people do. Many of the best and most memorable experiences I've had on a trip have not and could not be planned. I think there is a balance here. :)

I'm with you Floridafran and travel3773. It's important to at least get your lodging in order especially if you are particular about amenities and want a good location. Like Floridafan said, it's particularly true of the National Parks.

The amount of time you will be on the trip also plays into this equation. RedRock, for example, does not make plans -- but will be on the road all summer. That allows for plenty of flexibility.

However, when planning for a few days to a couple of weeks, you do have to plan more closely if you want to see and do specific things. For example, we will be going to a family reunion across the country in a few weeks, for 6 days. Two days will be spent in travel alone (Florida to Wash. State). Two days will be spent with family, in Marysville and Westport (which means some drive time). The other 2 days we will take a whirlwind trip to the Okanagan and Vancouver (lots of drive time). So I plan carefully.

Personally, I think there's room for both approaches in life. :)

I went from huge research and exact planning to very similar to Love Italy's criteria over the last ten years.

My most uncomfortable times, and most &quot;not vacationlike&quot; occurences have happened on drive trips while trying to make a reserved spot when it no longer &quot;jived&quot; with what I had found on the way there.

I usually now on drive trips in North America only plan on 1 or 2 nights at the beginning or at the end in advance.

My youngest son who is totally off the seat of his pants has taught me how to change and there is a happy medium. He can often miss some big aspect of a time or place by not knowing it was/is there. I don't. But he taught me how to linger and enjoy what IS there and not to oversee myself into corners that 1000's of tourists have backed themselves into before me.

In other words, not all the places that are hot spots are worth any more than the ones that are not. Marketing has made many a stop that is rather underwhelming, in comparison to those you can find on your own.

A side of this I realized about 5 years ago is this; I often find myself liking the towns within 20 or 30 miles from &quot;the&quot; TOWN- more than &quot;the&quot; TOWN.

And all of the spontaneous are far more remembered, IMHO. We just had a real zinger with some old, old vintage equipment near Niagara. You aren't going to get that just going the planned and researched route. I haven't.

It really does have to do with how much control you are comfortable with during travel. Some people are extremely uncomfortable without fore-knowledge and fore-control of circumstance.

But there definitely is another side and individuality of experience can blossom in that field.