"Scruffy Young Man" has left the building!
 

This thread is begun at the request of some who were following my son's plans to enter Great Britain for a brief stay but without a continuing ticket on the first international leg of a planned trip around the world. He has now launched on his trip, and I'll be writing up what I can as it progresses, given that I'm getting the story secondhand.

This story begins in the San Francisco Bay Area.

This is the part where he travels cross-country to New York, where he has friends to stay with, before flying off to London.

To set the stage:

My one and only son Greg, age 21, is a very outgoing, personable young man who buys all his clothes at the thrift store, has grown some really mediocre dreadlocks, and has a short, scruffy beard (hence the "Scruffy Young Man"). He has been dreaming of a half-a-shoestring trip around the world for years. He's not thinking as high-class as hosteling; he's planning on couch-surfing his way around the world. There is a website for this! There are loads of people even in Africa, India and Nepal who are willing to put people up for free!

He finally got his ducks in a row, gave up his apartment, sold his stuff, and bought a one-way ticket for London. The die was cast. He set a date to leave - yesterday, September 27 - and arranged for his first "couch," in Portland, Oregon. He originally planned to hitchhike, but Mom being quite nervous about this, keeping in mind the long stretches of empty rural landscape in northern California and a son who, while not sheltered, hasn't hitchhiked before, bought him a Greyhound ticket for this first leg. A good friend who has traveled by thumb is meeting up with him in Portland for the next stretch, and I'll feel less nervous about that.

So last evening, after two days of trying to wrap up his affairs, think of everything else he might need, and get it all packed up in his new backpack, I drove him to the Greyhound station for a 9:15pm bus, for a 1:40pm arrival in Portland. He posed cooperatively, backpack aboard, holding his new ultra-lightweight guitar, while I snapped a photo of him in front of the station door. I made him promise to e-mail regularly and keep me posted and to take care of himself. We had a long hug goodbye, and then I left him because he wanted to write an entry in his new journal, and drove back home.

The phone range at 11pm. He was still at the bus station. He had somehow missed the loading time for the bus and has missed it. He was now going to take the bus at 1am and would be in Portland Monday at 6pm. I wished him well and we hung up.

The phone rang today at 2pm. Greg was in Sacramento. He didn't realize he had to change buses in Sacramento, so he'd stayed on the bus while it continued east. At some point he realized he wasn't going toward Portland any more, got off, and caught a bus back to Sacramento. He was now awaiting the next departure from Sacramento to Portland. In the meantime he had met some cool people who had directed him to a great cafe, and he was going rock-climbing at a branch of his rock-climbing gym at home, and he would be in Portland tomorrow morning (Tuesday).

So at this point, he's been "on the road" for 18 hours, with a bus ticket, and he's made it to ... Sacramento, about 100 miles from home!

Thanks for the new link Artsnletters.
As in the other post, will be following his adventures with keen interest. Best wishes to him on his travels. He's sure to come back a changed man.

M

Artsnletters, please keep us posted on SYM's adventures. I must admit I'm a bit concerned for him if he is having this much trouble just getting to Portland. I would imagine, however, he's taking all of this in stride and considering this just an addition to the great adventure. (My 17 year old son would think your son was "so cool" if he was reading this!) Good luck to you son (and to you!)

Oh, I'm sure that his travel skills will improve rapidly.

He could have WALKED from SF to Sacramento in 18 hours. His 'travel skills' will have to dramatically improve between Sacramento and Heathrow . . . . . .

This is too funny. I will be following this saga with interest.

Loving your report, at least he is figuring out what to do, and I'm sure he will eventually get to London, just might take a bit longer than planned.

TTT I've got to follow this one.

:-)

Add me to the followers list hoping he has a good sense of direction. BTW, couchsurfing for the younger set has become quite popular for obvious reasons & the added bennie is that one has immediate 'what-to-do-and-see advisors'

Agree I would be extremely concerned - since he can;t even get to a nearby city. Does he have serious attentin disorder or something else that prevents him focusing?

Really - if he can't get to Portland how will he ever make it aournd the world.

(And I'm not a worry wart. I generally think kids heading out on their own to help them fing their feeet and grow up is a great idea. Took stepdaughters to London and Paris when 14 and 11 and had no problem with them going off alone for the afternoon to do teen stuff. Went to europe myself at 19 - as have both the girls. But, none of us ever got lost seriously. Perhaps took a wrong turning on a street and had to backtack for a couple of minutes - but never missed transportation - or failed to make a stop or switch.)

He's going to have to be a lot ore alert and focused to avoid issues on this trip.

Remember...a journey of a thousand miles begins when Mom drops you at the bus station! Good luck to the Scruffman...he will no doubt have lots of adventures, and become very self-reliant. I will be looking in to see what unfolds. Best, Rouss

Now, if he were a she, the missing the bus & changing transport would never have happened - gals are just so much more 'street smart'!!LOL - It's all a great big adventure and learning curve for the young man. With his travels ahead at least he's going to have something to tell his grandkids oneday that might capture their attention!

The story reminds me of the way I travelled when I was half my current age. If you don't plan ahead, a lot goes wrong and you end up missing 90% of the things which people see who are a little more focussed. But on the other hand, you experience things you'd have missed if you had taken the correct bus and hadn't been stranded in Sacramento. If I look back at that time, I'm happy about the memories.

The only thing which is really different is phoning home. The curse of the cell phone. 20 years ago you went out of your parent's house and the next thing they heard of you was a post card 3 weeks later :-)

I definitely want to follow this. If he has trouble getting on a bus when he's already in the right bus station, it should be real fun in cities with multiple bus/train/air termini! I take it he has to be in New York by a particular date to catch the plane to Heathrow? (Llife must have been easier for parents back when kids kept in touch by postcard!)

Being a good son, back in those days I usually tried to send my parents a postcard every day, but since the cards often arrived out of order, they never knew if I was in France, Denmark, Switzerland or Italy, etc.

Well, artsnletter, no doubt your scruffy son was on the bus that stops at the Greyhound Depot in my city. It is too bad I didn't know as I could have had a talk with him to make sure he knew how to get to Portland, lol. But all is well it seems, well I hope so! What tales he will have to share with his future children years from now. And when his kids are driving him crazy you can share this tale of adventure with them. Payback is often a good thing!

Arts - thanks so much for posting. I too plan to try to keep up on his adventures.

The nice thing about the way he's traveling (other than the ticket to London) is that it usually doesn't really matter very much if he gets somewhere later than he originally planned. Or gets on the "wrong" bus and goes somewhere else altogether. ;-> That's the freedom of traveling without hotel reservations, onward tickets, etc.

I wish him a safe and wonderful journey. All the best to both of you.

He's traveled almost entirely by car or plane in the past - where there are usually no transfers, you just get in and turn up later at your destination. I don't think he'll make the same mistake again.

He does have ADD and in any event isn't a guy who's good at logistics. I think he will rely on me, at least for a while, to help with less expensive options for longer jaunts on public transportation. However, one of his goals for the trip is to become more self-reliant, and I imagine he'll figure it all out in the end.

Those of you who think he'll see such goofs as part of the adventure have it exactly right. When he called from Sacramento, he was quite happy, enjoying walking around the city (which he's never visited), talking to people. He doesn't have an itinerary so much as an idea of the stops he'd like along the way. When he ends up somewhere unexpected, I imagine he'll just see it as part of the adventure rather than a setback.

He has a ticket to London from NYC on October 26 and wants to spend a few days visiting his best friend in New York before flying out, so he's got about three weeks to get across the country, plus a few days extra if necessary.

I just think it's great he's figuring this out now when he's in the US rather than, say, India or Kenya.

BTW, he promised to find e-mail at least once a week and at least let me know where he is and which direction he's headed next. As others have noted, in the past this wouldn't have been possible! But in these days of the internet and Skype and cell phones, there are lots of low-cost options for transcontinental communication, even from the outer reaches.

He'll get the hang of it soon enough and if not...oh well. My nephew went around the world twice and just sort of played it all by ear. Had some very interesting experiences, stayed in some places quite awhile...not always on the up and up, but that wasn't my problem. It was a great experience for him. His last stop on his last trip was Zimbabwe when it all starting going to he**. He decided it was time to come home.

artsnletters-

I read the thread over at the Europe board when you first posted it and am enjoying reading about the start of your son's journey.

I agree with those that say your son's travel skills will improve very quickly - and it's a good thing he has the time in the US to figure stuff out before heading overseas.

It sounds like a great adventure and it sounds like he's having a blast. Being a young man, off to explore the world for the first time - there's something about "the first time" that's pretty wondrous. I hope he has a great trip.

I was interested why he would want to take a guitar on a road trip around the world instead of a small netbook to check up on things? The guitar is going to be a hassle down the road with flying cheap airlines and their hefty excess baggage charges along with getting a "free ride" and having to find a place for it in the car. Just curious.

The guitar is small and very lightweight, and music is his pleasure and solace. He may have fantasies of busking at some point. The friend he will be traveling with cross-country is an even more talented guitarist. I agree it's probably going to be a hindrance, but I figure it's up to him to work it out.

My take on things is that young folks need to make their own mistakes, and it's better to get out of the way and let them get it over with. I don't plan to interfere unless it's a matter of life and limb or not having enough money to come home. I've found that this philosophy leads to open, constructive communication and a great deal of respect (eventually) for my superior wisdom, haha.

Artsnletters,

I too will be following your son's journey. You are a brave Mom.

How is he getting to New York?

Just got a gleeful call from Portland, where he has now arrived and was standing in the rain, waiting for a city bus to take him to his first couch-stay. (He was born in Seattle and lived there his first 10 years, so rain makes it feel like home.) He very much enjoyed his unplanned side-trip to Sacramento and said he's having a great time.

Going to New York via ride share and thumb. I believe the planned way-stations are Seattle, Detroit and Philadelphia, and I suppose wherever he ends up in between. If worst comes to worst and time runs short, he can always hop a bus or train to finish the journey. Or, given the events of the past couple days, maybe not? But I'm sure he'll figure it out.

I'm actually quite excited for him. It will only be hard not to see him for so long. If I win the lottery or have some other unforeseeable windfall, I could always meet up with him at some point during what will then be <i>my</i> trip around the world. (Dreaming, dreaming.)

Dream on! You seem like a fantastic mother. Quite a bit like my own, who allowed me to wander all alone all over Europe at the age of 17 -- without mobile phones or computers, just parental trust.

Your take on his trip is just right! I too let a 20 year old son take off on his own, not to Europe, but across the good old USA with just a friend & 2 sleeping bags in an old Jimmy. Now he's telling his 7 year old son about the adventures he had - planting the seed, I think! I will be following "scruffy young man's" trip with great interest - and wishing I was 21 again!

I am a bit worried for him now at UK immigration with a musical instrument. He will have to be careful that they don't see busking as working. I am not being humorous. I heard recently at 2nd hand from an old friend that a young american female who had lived and studied in Scotland was turned back when she arrived back for a holiday but bearing a guitar. The young american was a friend of her daughter. We can but hope for the best.

I think he's going to buy an onward ticket to Copenhagen before he gets to London. He's decided he doesn't want to stay more than a long weekend so there's no need to leave his departure open. He will also have a visa for India waiting in his passport. I will mention to him to say nothing about playing for money. He hasn't done it here at home - he just likes to play for himself, or jam with friends at small gatherings.

Yeah has arrived at his first planned port of call. Can't wait to read about his next adventure.

artsnletters, you sound like you've got a very laid-back attitude about the whole thing, and I'm really interested to hear about the rest of Greg's trip!

artsnletters, I'm impressed with your parenting style esp allowing your son to make his own mistakes. You have a safety net for him but it's not obvious and it still allows him plenty of freedom. It will be fun to follow his adventures. I hope you win the lottery so you can meet him someplace. DS left for his adventure when he was 22 but he let DH ride along across the US and I met up with them in Seattle. He spent the first winter with friends and then was on his own He didn't travel to any foreign countries, instead mostly wilderness exploration. Still, I was grateful for all the seemingly simple skills we taught him and eagerly awaited his weekly calls.
Wish I had gone on such an adventure!

Give him time, he'll sort it out. Meanwhile, I'll be following this with great interest. I'm more than a wee bit jealous of his youth and carefree nature.

Bookmarking. You son will learn so much!

Trip of a lifetime.

Your son will talk about his trip for years to come.

How fun! I'll also be following this adventure. Will you keep this thread in the US forum, tagged CA/OR, or will you be starting new threads as he changes locations?

DH spent the better part of his 21st year backpacking throughout Asia with a good friend. This was before cell phones & internet cafes and he didn't even have a credit/debit card. He grew up very fast, and said it was one of the best things he ever did, much more educational than a year in school.

Best of luck to your son -- and to you!

lvk, I'm not one who tagged it, and that's too bad, because this thread is going to cover a lot more territory as he crosses the U.S. He should be in Seattle by the end of the week. Once he changes continents, I'll start a new thread in that forum and put a link here for those who want to follow the continuing saga.

artsnletters - I have to ditto some other comments that I hope your son appreciates what an open mind you have about his trip, and how supportive you are being. I think that's really great!

Looking at some of the comments - it shows a big difference between a lot of us Americans and those in other parts of the world.

I'm talking about things like "you are sure open minded about the trip" and "allowing your son . . . "

In many (most?) countries it wouldn't cross a parents mind (or the kid's for that matter) that a parent would have anything at all to say about a trip like this. This pops up on the Europe forum now and then - "My 18 yo daughter wants to go to Paris alone. Should I allow it?" The Yanks generally ask things like "How reliable is she?", or "Why not go w/ her and have a mother/daughter trip to remember?" or "No way - she is too young".

Most of the Europeans reply "Allow!?! Fer crying out loud - she is an adult. How could you stop her?", or "My daughter first traveled alone at 16 - of course let her go."

artsnletters son is 21 years old. This isn't any sort of slam or criticism -- just an observation.

I think these reports will be great fun . . . .

janisj, I've been on the verge of mentioning just that: my son is 21, a full adult, and has been self-supporting for three years. He's going to do this trip whether I approve or not. Taking a supportive stance makes it easy for him to call on me if he needs me without fearing he'll get a lecture or an "I told you so." I've related to him in this way ever since he moved out, and as a consequence he comes to me when he has a problem or a crisis in his life to ask for support and advice. I would rather serve that role than be only a resource of last resort.

Despite his going astray on the bus, he has a good head on his shoulders and is likely to be able to resolve whatever messes he gets into and to avoid major ones (such as fooling around near the borders of countries with whom the US doesn't have diplomatic relations). The messes are expected (even by him) and are part of the adventure and the growing process.