Rules For House-sitters....
 

I have discussed here before my problem with leaving our 15 year-old dog in order to fly somewhere on vacation... We don't leave him at kennels, he goes everywhere that we go the last couple of years. If he can't do it, we don't do it! :-(

Now I think I have a solution, BUT I'm wondering if my potential house-sitter will chafe at "the rules." The sitter would be my 24 year old great-niece who has just received her Master's, and will be coming back home to our area to work and live.

The Pro's in this situation: she LOVES animals (her family has four), and is very kind and nurturing with them. Also, a Pro for her is that since her family was burned out of their home and are now in a very small, uncomfy apartment, her staying in our house would be almost a vacation for her! She'd have computer-access, wide-screen TV, free LD phone calls, a well-stocked freezer, and I would pay her. She would need only to sleep here at night, feed our doggie morning and evening, and water plants.

Cons: We would not want her having any friends here. She tends to have younger friends, and we do not want any strangers in the house, period, no matter how close she feels to them. The only person we'd want visiting her is her father. We figure, the more people in and out, the more chance the dog runs out the front door, something unforeseen happens, yadda, yadda. And I don't like strangers around *my things* when I'm not here.

We are thinking of a two-week plus trip somewhere. I haven't approached my niece yet, as she is very independent and may balk at the *house rules* although she'd have a great place to stay, and I would pay her. (How much should I offer her as payment, $10 ... $20... day? Whaddya think?)

She's a good kid, very responsible... but some of her friends have given me pause, hence the *house rules.* Do you think I am being unreasonable with the no-friends rule? My niece is a people-person, and I know she'd prefer otherwise but I figure she can see people away from my house!

Thanks for any thoughts you might have.........

As a point of reference, I pay the pet-sitter $10 each time she comes to my house. I have a cat so that's usually only every other day when I am gone as they can survive longer than dogs. So, depending on how you (and she) view the situation - is she doing you a favor by also having someone at your house or are you doing her a favor by getting her out of a cramped apartment? I would think $10/day is good based on the time you'll be gone. It would be at least $150 for your trip. (If it were 3 days, I might consider paying her more than $10.)

As for not having friends - you will be at her mercy. I think you lay down the rules and hope for the best. But, unless you have a hidden camera, you'll never know... >:-)

It's your house...you get to make the rules.

That being said, no visitors for 2 weeks seems strong for a "people person." What if she wants to spend the night at a friends house, is that allowed? While I have not done this personally, I think if I was going to turn my house and precious pet over to someone, I would have to trust them more than you are indicating.

It's still your home and you are entitled to make the rules.

Hi bonnie,
I too am going through this for the first time..my daughter will be in Belgium and I have to take a trip.
Pup will be taken care of by a pet sitter/dog show handler.
I do not know her friends, I have only just met her. I feel no compunction in telling her that she cannot have people in my home.
I am thinking of this as a job, she will get $25 a day for it. She can hang out with her pals after she is through with the job.
It might be easier for you since it is a relative or it might be easier for me because it is a sort of stranger :)
Pay:
We are just paying what we paid our sitter in NY, if we pay enough, they want to be really good at it and get hired again. So that is our thinking ~
Good luck!

Bonniebroad, it's really only one rule, and it's an excellent one. Even with my late teen daughters, the rule was nobody else comes into the house while M&D are out of town. Period. The End. So wording it "nobody besides you or your dad" makes perfect sense. If she's halfway mature, she'll understand. She can always meet her friends at THEIR house, right? This is a business arrangement, and you have every right to make the rules.

We had a house/cat-sitter a few years ago, a very responsible teenage boy whose family lived across the street from us. He was a lovely kid and I had no concerns, especially with his parents being so close by. He sat for us a few times, and then there was one trip that was a bit longer. I think he was there for a couple of weeks. When I got home I discovered some e-mails that I didn't like at all, and looking at the internet history on my computer I could see that there had been numerous visits to porn sites. I called him in immediately with a view to advising him that I would be discussing this with his parents. He was so genuinely shocked at what I had discovered that I believed him when he said he hadn't even used my computer. It turned out that one of his friends had stayed overnight (I had never made any rules about that, other than "no parties") and had said he was doing school work and needed to use the computer. He was very angry with his friend and truly upset that this had happened. I told him he could certainly house-sit again, but there would be absolutely no visitors whatsoever, and he agreed.
It's quite true, as others have said - it's your house and you make the rules. If your great-niece is uncomfortable with the rules, she can opt out of the arrangement so that you can find someone else.

My sister always has one of us staying at her house while she is traveling to pet sit. I would never consider having friends over to visit me in her house while she's gone.

As someone has said previously, it's only one rule - and it's not really one that seems very hard to comply with.

She can easily visit at her friend's homes - or they can meet for dinner, movies or whatever else they do while socializing.

It's not as if you are insisting she stay with your dog all day for company and she's house-bound 24/7 - so I don't think your rule is restrictive at all.

Hi bonniebroad. Read your question and comments with great interest.

My opinion is that even though your great-niece is 24 years old and has gotten her Master's (good for her) there could be the possibility that she in some ways is immature as you say her friends are all younger then she is. I am sure that we have all known young people that do well at university but are not as mature as they ought to be for their age. And you don't feel good about her friends evidently. That is a warning sign.

I sure understand your not wanting strangers in your house. I would not either.

From my experiences in life I would, unless I felt 100% comfortable that your rules will be followed, not take this route. If there is a problem then you have a situation that involves family members, and that could get sticky.

I know how hard it is to travel when one has pets. That is why, after losing my little dog, I have not gotten anymore.

I have had a lot of friends and family members hire people which they found through their vet. No one to my knowledge as ever had a problem. These were not house sitters, they came as agreed upon to take care of the pet, walked the dogs etc. Would this be a better way to go? Of course then you are back to having a stranger in your house, but it might be a better situation with a stranger then a family member. People I know that have used them have gotten references, followed up on them etc. to make sure other customers were pleased with the services. Good luck with this decision.

Why not just explain the rules and ask your niece if she is interested in the job? If she feels it's too restrictive, she can say no. I don't think your rules are out of line.

FWIW, we use a house/pet sitter regularly. We pay her $20 per day and have no rules about guests but I trust her completely. She sits for a lot of people.

My parents uased a sitter that was a vet tech that worked at the vet they took their cats to, this worked well as the cat needed medication. She became a trusted family friend over the years, but only occasionally stayed over, usually just coming in twice a day and was paid well.

My cat sitter also works at my vet. She is the groomer there and gave references. I was a little uncomfortable (after always having a friend or family member around to do this for me) but I felt at least I knew where to find this person if something were to go wrong (or go missing). And, though my cat is healty, felt better knowing it was someone who knew the vet, knew where the vet was, etc. since on my last trip my other cat had died. (Roommate was taking care of them. Next door neighbor was a vet so she did all she could)

It's always a hard thing to leave pets behind, isn't it?!

The vet tech solution has worked well for me too.

I have used a series of nieces/ nephews to house-sit for my pups and I had a different attitude (NOT to say my attitude is right, etc.). I moved/ locked up anything I was concerned about and let them have free rein in the house.

My one serious comment was "don't do anything to have the police called". At first, they laughed, but they knew that neighbors were watching so no Animal House style parties ever occured.

I figured my most precious "possessions" were the ones they were there to protect. Anything else could be replaced.

I almost flew home from a vacation because I didn't think the nephew was actually spending the night there and was concerned on whether he was really taking his duty seriously. If he had a no visitors rule I would have worried even more that he was elsewhere rather than spending the night at the house.

I think I would trust a 24 year old with a Master's without special rules, but if I didn't, I'd go with a different option. Even if she agrees to "no company" it would not be a relaxing vacation if you were worrying about it.

By the way, there was never any damage or anything occured to my knowledge that was "bad" - and I'm sure they had guests there almost every night.

My one rule was no smoking in the house.

We have a house full of animals, cats, fish, birds and have gone away and left a friend house sitting, and have also hired a "professional house sitter" from an agency.

I think having someone stay at your house that is a relative you have less chance of something going wrong.

As you set down the "house rules", you might mention that you have a security camera in the house, even if you don't.

We typed up a list of things that have to be done and left it on the wall.

Call home a few times and just make sure all is well.

Above all else have a good time on vacation.

Hi Bonnie:

Your grand neice sounds like a responsible sort, you have to have some level of trust. We have a great housitter now and she stays at the house and we pay $35/day. We have created kind of an owners manual for our house but have not established any rules of conduct per se but that's because we trust the person.

Housesitter experiences can be interesting though. Some years ago we had a never used sitter to watch our dog. It was a younger (male) sales associate that works with my wife. When we got home, all seemed in order but we heard some amusing stories from our cleaning lady and some of my wife's co workers. A co worker told my wife that our sitter revealed to her that he was curious about the dog's invisible fence and decided to see how strong the shock was. Well, that being a little wacky as it was, he didn't just hold the collar in his hand, he actually put it around his neck. I think we must have laughed about that for some time, not just because he did it but because he told someone else about it. We also wondered why we didn't have any mail and he told my wife he couldn't find the mailbox. The cleaning lady also told us about coming in to clean and the guy was racked out on the couch midday, the usual empty pizza boxes and such around with a slight smell of something interesting in the air...obviously, he forgot the day the maid came.

We always ask the sitter to stay out of the expensive liquor. Drink the cheap stuff and no sex in our bed.

Seriously- I think the nobody at the house rule is over the top. We would never ask anybody who we trust enough with our many animals to refrain from having houseguests.

Our last 3 week trip we paid a friend $35 a day and considered it a deal for us. When we were younger we used to house sit/ farm sit ourselves and anything less than $50 a day was not worth our time.

Yes I really had people ask us to stay away from certain liquor and certain stemware and was never told not to have houseguests.
The police were never called and we were worth every penny

A retired friend of mine often pet-sits and charges $30-$35 per day. She would not dream of entertaining her friends in someone else's home. I don't think you're out of line at all asking your great-niece not to have friends over to your house.

For a third option, check out www.craigslist.com. Choose your city and then pets to find some pet sitters. I think you are in Raleigh so I read a few posts. Just an idea.

Whatever you decide, do what you are comfortable with. I would be very comfortable telling a pet sitter not to have anyone over, but not comfortable telling a family member that. That's just me. Go with your gut, so you will relax and enjoy your vacation.

Just have a Plan B if you ask your niece and she's not agreeable to the terms.

Bonniebroad, agree with Scarlett. Lay down the law, treat it like a job and tell her no one at all is allowed in the house for any reason.

If she wants to get out of the house bad enough, she'll comply with your rules. I would also let her know the neighbors and her dad will be watching to make sure she complies with the rules.

You've spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on your home and belongings and don't feel guilty at wanting to protect this investment.

Not that you don't trust her but she is: 24, just out of college, has younger freinds.

For many years we had house sitters who considered it a vacation to stay here and wouldn't take any pay. We now have two cats, easy care, and the going rate here in the SF area seems to be $20/night.

I would not expect a house sitter to have a party here, but I think it's a bit extreme to say "no visitors at all." Personally, I'm paying for our cats to have some human company who will pet them and play with them, not just someone who will feed them and change the litter box. So I would rather the house sitter have a friend over to watch a movie and have a pizza than go out for the evening.

But you have to do what makes you comfortable. I always fret the first time someone stays here, and feel much more confident when it's a repeat sitter.

I really, really, REALLY appreciate all these replies!!! :-) The majority of you are confirming my gut feeling....... I hate to impose the no-friends rule BUT I will not relax on a trip if I think college-age kids are running in and out of my house! It is so hard to leave this old doggie with anyone ... I know we will feel guilty! :-( But he may (hopefully!) live to be 20, and we have almost 200,000 FF miles......... need to use them before WE'RE too old to get the most out of traveling......... (or American Airlines goes ka-plooey like some of the others.) Any other comments will be much appreciated. Thanks, guys... as usual, you're the best! :-)

I sympathize, Bonnie.

Our plan when we leave this summer is to pay a responsible teen age boy we know $15 per visit to come to our house 3x per day, and to stay for at least an hour per time with our 3 dogs. I wish I could find someone who'd be willing to stay overnight.
I am encouraging him to bring a friend with him if he wants to so that he'll stay at the house as long as possible.
It does seem a bit difficult that you do not want her to have anyone with her; I'd worry that she would spend less time with my "babies" if the place were less comfortable to her.

Such a difficult situation! Let us know how it works out.

bonniebroad, you use Leesburg don't you? Give them a call tomorrow just to see if their vet techs house/dog sit and what the going rates are. These (usually) girls have both their own reputation and the clinics' to consider. It just doesn't sound like you are so sure on the niece idea...and I was already on the phone with Delta to check return flights when nephew's mom went to the house to check to make sure things were okay...and promised me that SHE would spend the night there if he dropped the ball.

I think you would be more comfortable with a pure "business" situation from the start.

Hi Bonnie,

I feel for your situation. Our little Sophie means the world to us!

I think your rules are extremely reasonable and if I were her, I would actually expect that there should be no company.

See how you feel about it and I would would pay her what you would pay if you chose to board your dog. I think the $25 a day range would be good, but see what is the "going rate" for your area.

Also, I must say if you just get a bad vibe, I liked starrsville's idea. Only you will know what is right, but regardless of who is there, absolutely no company, NONE. I would say that no matter the age of the sitter, the idea here is to have it be as calm as possible for your sweet dog. Too many people in the mix would not be good for him. One loving kind person in his surroundings would be so soothing.

Also, whichever person you decide on, I would have a couple introductions while you are still there, so he "knows" them.

((&)) Your fellow caring pet owner, T.

I can empathize with the complications have having a senior dog. Please let us know what path you choose and how it works out!

My DH and I have discussed this issue further, and we just don't have the confidence that my niece (and her father, in fact) would abide by our rules. My niece has to have people around her all the time........ and I think she would have them here in our absence. I don't think her father would discourage this ... I think HE would feel we're being too strict. Let's face it ... it wouldn't be an enjoyable vacation if we didn't have real peace of mind on this issue!

SO.... my Vet's office has a lady who works there who pet-sits (don't know if she stays overnight) but I am going to talk to her about the possibility of her coming here, what she charges, etc. Thank you all, for your interest, and your comments. I very much appreciated them......... :-)

Good call Bonnie.

Keep us posted as to what you find out with your lady from the vet's office.

Even if she normally doesn't stay over night, money talks baby, make her an offer she can't refuse, hee.

The peace of mind you will have while away will be well worth it!

Sophie and I send our regards! ((&))

It's interesting reading all this. We've always had house sitters who were very happy to move into our house for a week or two to get away from parents or roommates. We never paid them. We never made rules either. Just requests, like please don't use the crystal on the top two shelves, please drink the wine we leave for you and don't raid our cellar, etc. We view it as a fair trade. They get a pad with some wine and a view and a nearby pool and the DirectTV/Tivo etc. They can have some friends over and barbecue and watch a movie and hang. They receive our packages, feed the fish, keep an eye on our stuff. However, now I'm feeling cheap. Is the housesitting money for the housesitting or the pet sitting?

I can't imagine making strict rules. If they were needed, and you couldn't just trust the person's common sense and maturity, I too probably would be too nervous to relax and enjoy vacation.

(These housesitters also are overnight sitters for our kids. So I guess if you trust someone with a kid, you trust them with your stuff.)

We travel ALOT, and have two large hairy golden retrievers. We have two sets of housesitters, and we pay them $40 a day to move into our house. Our goldens have a dogdoor to a fenced back yard, and they only require feeding twice a day and keeping two water bowls filled. It is a very EASY job, and we offer the sitters anything in the fridge and access to our neighborhood pool. They can bring anyone they like into our house BECAUSE WE TRUST THEM. If we didn't, we wouldn't have them in our house. Period. (Well, they do have to let the dogs sleep on the bed with them!)

I don't have time to read all the comments but I would suggest that you call her every day or every other day while on vacation for a short "chat". You can learn a lot about what's going on in a phone call.

My experience...We used to leave our dog (who is alos our "baby") with my in-laws. They don't follow the same rules and when we got home it would take us a week or so before the constant begging for food stopped. No big deal, just slightly annoying. I did worry though, from time to time, about the dog escaping from their house or them letting him off the leash. I would call...
Once we got our second dog, a 3 month old puppy, we got a professional dog walker. She comes in once a day to walk and feed the doggies while we're at work ($20/day). She has done one long weekend and charges $60/day. This includes 3 walk visits and the overnight, plus taking in the mail, caring for the plants, etc. It is expensive, BUT WORTH EVERY PENNY! She's nice, fun, mature, professional, etc. I trust her MORE than either of our families b/c she's getting paid, she's a professional and animals are her life. Now we don't worry when we're at work or away, the babies are being well cared for. Since your doggie is so important to you try to go this route...even if it is a bit more $$. After all, you're saving with those frequent flier miles. Good luck!

eriberrie, that is what our old sitter did. I could not understand why all of a sudden, Pup was begging in the kitchen whenever I roasted chicken.
She admitted it to me when I mentioned it to her..personally- I did not like that at all.
When someone is in charge of caring for your baby or your pet, they know what you feed them and what they should not have. To do what they want anyway- shows lack of respect for you (me) and not great care for the pet. What if he had a health problem with eating human food?
You know those rawhide chewies? They come out of Pup the same way they go in, so he cannot have them. The sitter knew this. He would come home from her house and we would have a chewy problem..((&))

As for trusting your house/pet sitter..most people trust the person they hire. But have you met all of this persons friends and do you trust them too?
I have not met any of my new sitters friends, she can go out and meet them, but I will not have strangers in my home while I am away.
The rules are easier to follow when you get paid :)

Going along with Scarlett's thought, if a professional "breaks the rules" it is upsetting. But if a family member does it can create hard feelings for years.

Scarlett, to feed Pup something that you had on the prohibited list is terrible. That is a health issue, not just a spoiling issue. I would have been furious.

Yes, LoveItaly, it made us furious. But Pup sure loved her LOL

well, I have learned something today.

I never realized people got so upset when others fed their dogs treats! YIKES! I may have made someone really mad without ever knowing that! I hate that!

(I always feel so darn sorry for dogs that never get real food...even the so called best premium dog food is generally made from pretty horrific stuff. One of my 3 dogs, my english bulldog, cannot eat any commercial dog food (and I've tried most of them) without getting hives and terrible skin rashes, so I have to cook homemade dog food, and he's fine.)

Contrary to what most people think, frankie, dogs don't really need a lot of different tastes. They don't feel neglected if mama doesn't give them a bite of something she is eating..they learn to beg and hang around the table or people eating because someone fed them from the table.
My dog eats the same thing every day, he is healthy and never has gas and stomach problems that some dogs can have.
Vets say that more dogs are overweight and sick because of it, including having diabetes, because their owners over feed them..not because they are mean or stupid, but because they (we) often equate food with love.
We just have to learn that the dog will be just as happy if you walk him or throw the ball as he would be if you gave him a piece of that hamburger.
I would never consider feeding my neighbors 4 yr old a cookie without asking his mom if it was ok, why should your dog be different?

well, my problem is I probably would feed my neighbor's kid a cookie without asking if it was ok! ;)!
And then I'd be in big trouble!

In all seriousness, Franke, be careful what you feed children (and animals) without parents' permission! My granddaughter has a deadly allergy to peanuts, and all nuts except almonds. She has to have an Epi pen on hand at all times, just in case!

Back to the business of these sitters, I think my bottom line is that I just don't have the confidence in this niece's judgment, in many things, that I should. I wouldn't need to make any rules if I did. I have another niece who lives out of state..... same age, totally different personality, and I wouldn't have to give a single instruction to her. I know her, know how she lives and thinks, and wouldn't have a single worry.

Again, thanks to everybody for your input! :-)

bonnie, if you don't have confidence in the niece's judgment, then you don't want her housesitting, even if you didn't have an animal that required care. As unlikely as it is, you have to think about a worst-case scenario. I would not want someone in my house whose judgment I didn't trust, period.

I am so glad that you have reached that conclusion, bonniebroad, BEFORE your trip. I worried the whole time when I thought said nephew wasn't coming around enough to take good care of my pups.

All dogs are special, but a 15 year old is a very special case. Do whatever is needed for you to be confident the care is good.

I've signed releases that specify the sitter can take the dogs to the vet and jointly make decisions with the vet in my absence ... and taking on the financial responsibility of whatever they decide. Needless to say, I trust my vets very very much. One fought for hours to save my dear Gracie.

You might want to consider a similar medical release or waiver - especially with a 15 year old.

you are right, Bonnie, I was just teasing!