There are a lot of us 30-something single women who are thriving DESPITE the fact we are on the way to spinsterhood...or not!!!! At least I hope not! I travel all over the world by myself and sometimes with friends and am more active than anyone I know. That being said, I live in NYC but if I could I would pick cities I'd want to live in and keep moving. Sydney, Denver, Austin, Cape Town, Santa Barbara...so many places!!!! Enjoy this time and if you take any of the suggestions I'm sure you will be fine.

Gekko-you are seriously in love with NYC which is great-I wish I could get there! Plus I think you went to Vanderbilt (from another thread about SATCO) so you gotta be cool!VU 92

Lots of interesting advice. All my single friends live in NYC/Brooklyn and sometimes I think there's something about the city that keeps them single -- although happy too! Why not consider the Lambertville,NJ-Bucks County area? Close enough to the city to maintain ties (there's a direct bus), a very alternative fun community - not just married folks w/kids - and yet close enough to PHiladelphia to see your family. And it's very beautiful with starry skies here too.

I would rent an apartment in downtown Philadelphia for a year while you researched your options. It gives you another year close to your grandmother, and you might find that you really like it. Philly is really coming into its own lately and there is a very young population downtown.

By the way, wasn't it Pittsburgh that was described as provincial?

Hey - I was just going to say New Hope/Lambertville! Or..maybe somewhere in Connecticut? Real nice up there, too, but cosmopolitan ... unlike many other areas of the US! Depends how far removed you want to be from things you already probably take for granted (diverse types of food, culture, etc).

I'm a single 30's something and LOVE living on the central coast of california(Santa Barbara area). Its super laid back, and lots of wine country activities. The weather is absolutely perfect. Its expensive, but coming from Nyc it wouldnt be shocking. Good luck....you'll find your way:)

Denver. Outrageous climate, good housing values, terrific city life, mountains very close, good economy, good male/female ratio. NO FLEAS!! Really--fleas hate the altitude/climate.

Here are a couple of previous links regarding relocation to Denver.

http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34737188

http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34737739

San Francisco is the healthiest and most stimulating city I have experienced for 30 somethings. People have a good mixture of culture, entertainment and physical activity in their lives.

Because singles are so active they have many opportunities to meet other singles in many types of "real" situations not just bars. I'd head there or outside the States if you like NYC but want a change.

As a Denverite (and a former resident of Chicago, Boston and the midwest, at various times), I would give a vote to my city, for all the reasons already given. Here are a couple of other thoughts, though.
- If your job really allows you to work anywhere, make a short-term move, maybe for 6 months or a year, to see if you really like Denver (or anywhere else). Also to see how you really feel about being so far away from your family.
- Denver and surrounding areas really have a more laid-back lifestyle, which IMHO is wonderful. On the other hand, while the downtown area gets better every year, Denver definitely does not compare to NYC (or Chicago or some other cities) in terms of sophistication, diversity, culture, dining, other nightlife, etc. You may decide that you like that, or that you don't!
- My family lives in the eastern time zone (2 time zones from Denver), in a city that doesn't have a lot of direct flights to Denver. So it's a hassle to visit them (though I do, of course). Living on the west coast would add another time zone and a longer plane flight. Just another factor.

Even if you try somewhere else, then decide the east coast, or NYC, or Philly, is a better place for you, at least your decision will be an informed one!

Oh wow more helpful replies......
A lot to think about.
Maybe if I sleep on it, Ill come to some decision.
And to those who say move home to be closer to grandmother, the funny thing is we talk almost every day (I help her pick tv shows to watch on tv over the phone), but I only see her a couple times a year.
Shes 95 years old and still drives.
The woman has more active social life than me sadly.
Plus I mentioned her earlier tonight that Im still honestly thinking about moving farther away.
Her reply was hilarious.
She told me that she always regretted not moving to Paris for a while in the early '30s. Instead her parents made her go to UPenn and become a teacher.
So her latest stance is for me not to have regrets later on.
Isnt that cute ?
K off the bed and fearful of even more replies awaiting me tomororw on here.
Thanks all !

amp322, the question is, what kind of social life would a 30ish single female have in a place like New Hope/Lambertville?

I really like the town of Doylestown, PA, which is close to where I grew up. I sometimes hang out at the Starbucks there when I visit my family back home now and wonder what it would be like moving back there now as a single guy...and I realize I would probably be bored to death! You can tell by the kinds of people who come into a Starbucks what kind of people you might find in the place in general. In Doylestown, it's high school kids or middle-aged professionals at Starbucks. In Portland, I find a lot more people in their 30's, around my age. Bucks County and across the river in NJ would be a nice place to settle down if you want to start a family but I think it would cramp a single person's style.

Andrew

Okay, THERE'S your answer! PARIS!!!

Thanks g'ma!

Philadelphia is a wonderful town for people in their 30s and it's very vibrant with outstanding cultural activities, excellent restaurants, and great downtown neighborhoods. Gekko is so blinded by his bias toward NYC that he can't imagine living anywhere else, but many New Yorkers can. And the distance between NYC and Philly is not that big a deal...my husband commuted from Rittenhouse Square to the Wall Street area and the Equitable complex area for two years. We also lived in the UWS in a very good building (the Boulevard), but liked Philly a lot more.
However, if you are from the Philadelphia region, I can understand why you want to try something new. I grew up in the Lehigh Valley, lived all over Philly for years (from Chestnut Hill to 5th & South and about 7 other neighborhoods in between), but eventually wanted something new, so moved to Eugene, OR, then to the Portland, OR, area and finally to Europe.
Nonetheless, we still believe Philly has so much to offer, esp. for singles in that age bracket (many of our friends are in the category--they love it).
Our favorite places to live have been Portland, Philadelphia, Paris, and Port Townsend. We're always on the lookout for the next great place starting with a P!

Again, I'll agree w/starrsville & G'Ma...nothing wrong w/Paris...What about Montreal ?

LOL - did someone say "... you can tell by Starbucks..."?

If Starbucks is the measuring device then Seattle has way more than anybody else... and the first one ever, too!

Copperplum is precisely the person every guy wants to meet when he goes to spend a Sunday morning at Starbucks.

(I think USA Today compared Pittsburgh's "28" Starbucks locations with Seattle's "156" earlier this year)

Thing is, Copperplum would be so chilled by the local air here that she'd never leave the Starbucks of her preference.

Maybe what all of these responses mean is that a 31yo single female is prized anywhere she goes. (and that the last person to catch-on to that factor is the woman herself)

I was 30 and single in NYC many moons ago now. It is difficult to meet good people in NYC and having your own business (and I gather working from home?) is going to make meeting people difficult <i>wherever you go.</i> Meeting people through work is most common I think at your age. So you need to think about that whereever you decide to go. I met my husband in London (while living in NYC).

If Denver is calling your name, go and see how you like it. I strongly agree you should rent for a year wherever you go.

I was thinking &quot;Denver/Boulder&quot; before I even got that far down in your post. Read Kerouac's On The Road for inspiration and Go West. I'm looking forward to heading out that way myself once I'm ready to give up the rat race.

You could move up to New England somewhere, for those starry nights and change of pace. That'd be alot easier than moving all the way out west. That said, small towns aren't necessarily the best pool of single men.

Seattle actually does fit what you seek. I made the move at your age/marital status. It's a fantastic city but more low-key and laid-back than cities back East. And mountains, hiking, and other outdoorsy activites are extremely close by. It's very beautiful here.

One thing I would definitely not do is move &quot;back home&quot; at your age. Backwards is never a good direction, in my experience.

Mclaurie brings up a good point. Since you work from your home, the best means of meeting people, that is through the working environment, isn't going to work well for you. That leaves, family, church, voluteer work and bars.

You are still young enough to spend a year in your home town until you know exactly where you want to go. The worse thing for you to do is to leave NYC for a different city with no ties and no idea about whether or not it will suit you. That's just my opinion, but I think you should get out of NYC if for no other reason than to see if you will miss what it has to offer. If you do miss it, then move back.

I have lived in the midwest, south, west coast, and New York, so I speak from experience and not &quot;bias.&quot;

In my <i>experience</i>, smart, &quot;30ish&quot; single females who leave NYC usually regret it.

New York has hundreds of great neighborhoods, which is why I suggested a change of 'hood to copperplum.

Recently, a friend of mine got sick of the frenetic energy &amp; youth of the NYU area and moved to a quiet block near Carl Schurz Park. She says it's like living in another world, and she's thrilled she didn't leave The City.