Relocation opinions for 30ish Single Female ?
 

Hi everyone, Ive read through many threads on ideas of the best places to relocate across the country.
But I couldnt find any current threads that answer my situtaion.
Im a never married 31 year old Female.

Ive been living in NYC area for the last 10 years. I originally moved here for a both a boy and to work at WTC.
I changed carrers shortly before 9/11 and have worked for myself ever since.
Im lucky in that my web based job allows to me to work anywhere that has a good interent access.
I broke up with long term boyfriend I moved here for originally (I realised he never wants to get married sadly :( )
I feel like I need a permanent change from the pace of NYC. Love it but Ive had my fill of hyped up energy. I love nature, starry night skys and being outdoors.
Im at an impasse of where to move though.
I grew up right outside of Philly and although I love the area (Philadelphia's Main Line) I dont know if its best to just move home.
I keep feeling drawn towards moving out west.
Im particularly interested in the Denver, Colorado area.
I visited there briefly and have done a ton of research on it.
But my family and friends keep shootin me down. Im very close to my 95 yr old grandmother and she gets very upset if I even mention moving out west instead of moving back home to Pennsylvania.
They put down the western states and say its too big a deal for lil ole me to move myself, my pets and all my belongings so far afield. (have 3 cats an 2 dogs))
Im trying to shut out their negativity and think for myself.
So fodorites give me some feedback and tell me what are good relocation areas for a fun but down to earth 30somethin single gal ?
Important to me would be good places to meet new guys, nice non humid sunny weather, good shopping and more laid back lifestyle.
Thanks all !

Seattle. Lots of people your age (including single men), and much more sunshine than people think. Lots of outdoor activities---hiking, bicycling, skiing, kayaking, swimming in the lake---"outdoorsy" is what this area is known for (besides Microsoft and Starbucks).

Plus easy access to flights east to visit your grandmother.

>>> I love nature, starry night skys and being outdoors. <<<

East - Asheville
Central - Denver
West - Seattle

Sounds like you'd like to move but the family are holding you back. If your job makes relocation a snip you can soften the blow to your relatives by saying it's a temporary or trial move....makes sense to rent before you buy anyway.

Denver sounds good!

There are a number of relo threads on here pertaining to NC. I'll try & top them for you, rather than repeat what has already been stated.

There are a few to get you started, best of luck...

Non humid weather would rule out the Southeast.

What about Chicago? It has great urban areas downtown and the cost of living isn't as brutal as NYC's but it is still city.

My girlfriend who lives downtown told me most downtown condo buildings have pools on their rooftops. Hers does and my other good friend who live there also has a rooftop pool.

Maybe this is Chicagocentric?

I like starrsvilles suggestions although humidity is difficult to gauge. Are we talking Charleston/New Orleans summer-type humidity or would somewhere else w/some humidity be more tolerable. You kind of have to look at Mountain regions to really escape humidity.

Asheville is delightful. Very funky. Lots of folks your age. Truly meets the "nature, starry skies and being outdoors" criteria.

Elevation is high enough (and transpiration of plants) so that humidity is nothing like the rest of the SE.

Was amazed when I was visiting Sedona how many of the "vortex" folks were excited about Asheville.

A very good friend moved there four years ago - who has traveled the SE and rest of US extensively on business - and feels she has found a true oasis.

Just 'cause it appears on a SE'n US map, don't think the weather is typical SE summer temps and humidity.

I'd move to any of the three in a flash. Believe me, I've given this a LOT of thought and questioned lots of cross-country associates to narrow it down to these three.

Austin would be the fourth - but now we are talking humidity again. I would love Durango and/or Santa Fe, but not enough "action" for you, I would think.

I hear you sista. I live in NYC and sometimes feel very jaded...it's a great place but I don't like the quality of life.

I went to Denver in Feb. to visit a friend from NYC who moved there. She will never leave. She LOVES Denver absolutely and completely. It's smaller, cheaper, more manageable, and she is a big skier. She has a sick loft in LoDo and has met heaps of people. I almost packed it in and moved there but I'm starting a business in NYC and don't want to leave my family.

I also lived in Chicago for 8 years. I only moved back b/c I desperately needed a change at the time, but I have nothing but positive thoughts on the city. It is absolutely a fabulous place to live. I lived right in Lincoln Park, owned a terrific loft that back then was cheap as anything to buy, could have a car, summers were awesome, and there were heaps of singles. I hate to admit it but I kind of regret leaving because the lifestyle was more to my liking but I"m happy in NYC as well.

Your family and friends have your best interest at heart, but you are the one who has to live with the consequences of moving. If you strongly want to move and think it's the best thing then go for it! You're young and single and nothing is holding you back. They made planes, trains, and automobiles for a reason. You can get to Philly in a heartbeat if need be.

Good luck! You can email me at [email protected] if you have questions about Chicago and I can pass the Denver ones along to my friend.

I think the west is best-
you could consider Portland Or. as well.
Its a great city, close to ocean and mountains and a beautiful city.
My soon to be 30 daughter moved from the midwest to Ca. 2 years ago and she would never go back. Wish she was in Portland but moved because of job so she didnt have a choice.
However I understand leaving family and starting over again is hard.
Good luck in what ever you choose

Stay in New York, just switch neighborhoods. If you live downtown, maybe move to a quiet part of the UES, for example First Avenue in the 80's.

You'll miss New York, and nothing compares.

I'm in a similar situation myself---also a former Philadelphian (from the 'burbs, that is), a longtime New Yorker and a thirtysomething single woman. I love New York but have thought about moving back to Philly every now and then. I also have close ties to family back in PA. Earlier this year, I looked at a beautiful house for sale in Society Hill and became obsessed with the idea of purchasing a home in Center City--and with more space, a backyard, historic details, charming neighborhoods, etc., all for a fraction of what a home with these features would cost in NY. After looking at numerous properties and finding a few that I definitely could see myself calling home, I found myself wondering if I'd regret leaving NY and be able to find work in Philly. So right now, I'm in limbo; I've shelved the Philly plans for now but still think about a move. Philly does have a lot to offer, albeit at a much slower pace than New York. Did you see the post about Philly provincialism on another thread ?

I grew up in the Philly burbs too and have thought about moving back. But the little town where I grew up seems a bit dull compared to where I live now.

I live in Portland and think it is a very young, vibrant city. There are lots of things to do and it's very beautiful here. Lots of outdoorsy stuff, yet the city itself is cool, if small. But, it is kind of overcast here quite a lot (and rain often but not every day) and some people can't handle the weather - they get depressed. But on the flip side, our winters are pretty mild (snow once a year if that) and our summers, warm but not uncomfortably muggy, compared to NY and PA. Portland, though is a tiny city compared to NYC and Philly, but it does have a wide variety of neighborhoods and a good character - a clean city without any real slums to speak of.

Some people complain that the singles scene here is lame - that dating here is kind of weird. Maybe it's the weather, the the people here seem to be a bit more aloof and self-involved than in other cities. I think the average person may have to work harder to make friends here - but I guess that depends how outgoing you are.

I have a thousand pictures (literally) of Portland on my website, PortlandBridges.com - feel free to check out my site and ask me any questions about the city via my site.

Andrew

citycentric:

Funny, I also thought about buying a place in Society Hill for a while.
And no I didnt catch the thread on "Philly provincialism", Ill try and find it. Thanks.

starrsville:
A lot of people I know love Asheville. One of my friends lives there now, but she's having trouble meeting eligible bachelors. lol. I think that has me scared off for now.

SAnParis:
Even a little humidity makes me cranky. When I was a teenager I lived in Santa Barbara/Ojai, Cali and loved the lack of humidity. I've been down South and find a lot of places lovely, but the heat wilts me.

Andrew: Great photography ! Portland's on my short list. But yeah I've heard that the dating scene is a bit of work there.

GoTravel & Abby43:
I've been to Chicago and adore the architecture there. Plus great food and shopping.
Don't know about the winters though...Hmm.

Anyway this is a lot of food for thought. Right now my condo is under contract to be sold by July 1st. So it's time to finally pick a place. Ive spent the last year mulling over places to relocate. Its a great big country and I like things about several of these places !
Decisions, decisions.

I think that you might want to think about making your hometown a stop to think things over a little more.

1. It would get you out of NYC and that could make it easier to see what you want. You may decide that home isn't too bad after all.
2. Your grandmother's age. It isn't going to be much longer. If she gets ill, flying back and forth from where ever could be a big hazzle.
3. Moving home would get you out of NYC and give you a location that would allow you to explore the other locations until you found one that was exactly right.

You need to see the choices at different times of year as this will be, as you state, a permanent change. What works in the Summer might be terrible in the winter, or just the opposite.

Oh c'mon, I didn't click on this link to give any good advice. I merely wanted to read about a "30-ish single female".

Geez, it was actually a better read than I envisioned. What a chance to live vicariously through the eyes and mind of someone who gets to make such a completely-hers decision at such a point in life.

In a way, you were lucky to have the boy to give you an inspiration to move somewhere. Now you're like a girl at a pizza place all alone, with so many toppings to choose from, and nobody to tell you "no anchovies, no onions, no peppers, but anything else that you want".

Sometimes we NEED someone with a plan, or some limitations, in order so that we will (get a shot off before the buzzer rings).

I envy your freedom, but with all of the choices out there, I don't really envy your need for making one as much as I thought I should.

Maybe moving back home to Philly area isn't so bad after considering all of what I just said. (Although the one night I spent in Philly found that it didn't matter whether I took a shower or not, I was still the same level of wet)

Now I must resist the temptation to say great things about Seattle, as it would be fun to just imagine a 30-ish, single-and-eligible female added to the social mix out here.

Tiz kind of funny that the first word of response to your post was "Seattle", and completely coincidentally.

Maybe your Tom Hanks is out here and living on a houseboat (but I think you're supposed to stay in NY if you want him to cross your path).

In closing, I've concluded that it is reassuring just to know that there remains a single woman over 30 who still seems to be thriving despite a keen awareness of her singledom.

So thanks for posting, at least for that reason.

Perhaps she's thriving precisely because she's in New York, the greatest city in the world, with an even wider gap when it comes to being single and over 30.

I've had a few single over-30 girl friends leave NYC, and all have seriously regretted it. Same with guys, but not as acute.

The grass may seem greener elsewhere, but most people get bored watching it grow.

I respectfully disagree with the advice to move back home (or at least to Philly). That would be a nice safe move, but you're 31, unattached and able to move almost anywhere. You've got the rest of your life to be safe and practical (especially when married with children) so now's the time to get out on your own and do something different.

Denver would be a great place. Salt Lake City is similar in terms of climate and outdoor activities, so you may want to look into that as well.

I'm sure it will be tough to move across the country, especially if your family isn't being supportive, but do you want to sit around 10 years from now regretting that you never made that leap?

I'm going to show my 30ish single daughter your post as soon as she returns from NYC.

She just left a few hours ago for a job interview because she wants to live and work there,

I'm sitting here dog sitting in her lovely house on Cape Cod under starry skies with nature and the outdoors just beyond the slider.

She wants to move to NYC to meet more people her age and you seem to want to move someplace else for the same reason.

This is all very confusing to me so I'm hoping you two guys can talk and help each other and me.