Wow suze, you have lived many different places. Seattle is most likely out just because I cannot stand dark/rainy type days for very long. I hate it here when the sun is gone for more than a day. Bothers me more than my wife.

Where did you live in those states and why did you not like CT?

Well, I happen to live in Tampa and I really like it here. We live in the city, not in the suburbs, which means we can walk to some shops and restaurants and our neighbors can walk to their kids' elementary and middle schools; the Gorrie-Wilson-Plant school district is excellent, so no need to pay for private schools, and the schools in Hillsborough County in general are good. On the con side, housing is fairly expensive in the best parts of town--but isn't that always the way? There is a lot of variety in the housing market here: lots of older homes, lots of newer and new homes, lots of suburbs from which to choose, lots of price points. The beach is a short drive away. The airport is a good size. While there are a lot of retirees, the community as a whole seems diverse in age to me, although a lot depends on where exactly you live. And, lastly, there are federal jobs at MacDill AFB.

What don't I like about Tampa? Florida has backward political leadership, which means things like light rail get stalled for purely partisan reasons. High culture--I mean great museums, great theater--is lacking, although there are a lot of music venues. (And there are some museums...)

I can't list many cons because, having lived in, oh, a dozen different places (including overseas), I think I can be happy anywhere, maybe because I focus on living the way I want to and try not to let the turkeys get me down. That said, Tampa seems a friendly place--to me :-)

We moved here from VaBeach when I was 2. I left for college at 18 and after college got married and lived in Fredericksburg for 2 years before moving to Murfreesboro, NC (you do NOT want to live there...lol) for 5 years.

I moved back here in 1992. We have good restaurants, moderate cost of living, very little traffic, 2 hours to the mountains or beach, and the suburbs have good school systems.

Wilmington N.C. is nice. You need to be where you can get a federal job. Keep looking at federaljobsearch or usajobs.gov to give you a sense of where the best jobs are located in your field. VA is hot now and Orlando is about to open a huge state of the art hospital there.

Thanks for the info on Tampa. We've been there once, but only for a weekend, so did not get much of a feel for it. I have heard people say it is terrible there for some reason. BUT, I sort of liked El Paso, TX and I have heard a local radio host rip on that city for years.

Wilmington seems like it might be nice (never been though), but of course....the job thing.

My wife does contracts and I know on usajobs there is a listing for almost every air force base for that type of job. So, being near an air force base might be the way to go.

I grew up in Los Angeles (two different homes in Venice) California until I was mid-teens.

Then my parents moved to Connecticut when I was in high school. I thought it was booooring and wanted only to stay in Calif. at that time.

Then college in Springfield, Massachusetts, after that I lived on my own in Northampton before moving up to Westmoreland to live on a commune with friends, which is outside Keene New Hampshire. I also lived on the lake at West Swansey NH. Then moved over to Brattleboro, Vermont (also living at times in Dummerston and Newfane nearby).

Then on a whim drove myself cross-country and moved to Seattle. Been here ever since. And will be until I can pull off the Hawaii move.

jedivader, any place as big as DC, or Tampa, or El Paso, for that matter, is going to have good and bad areas. Some people who live there love it, some hate it, others are in between, but their reasons are many and may have to do more with their personal or professional lives than the place itself. I know you know that, I just thought it was worth repeating!

I do think that making a list of places she could get a job, and narrowing from there (as someone else suggested), is the way to go.

Most definitely. Find work first. Try to find your top 3 picks. Then narrow it down from there. That's a lot easier. Plus it really doesn't matter what other people like, only what fits you and your wife. For instance the Seattle weather suits me fine, I just vacation twice annually in either Hawaii or Mexico. The summers are glorious here.

This is kind of a bottom up approach 'cause just about everyone likes where they are at and have made the adjustments necessary for it to work.

My first job was in Charlotte in 65 and liked the area. Four seasons and generally mild except summers were hot and humid. Not as hot and humid as Florida but more than I liked. Came to Indiana for graduate school and stayed on as a faculty member - first on the Bloomington campus and later the Northwest campus near Chicago. Liked the Midwest and especially Chicago BUT winters and summers are bad. Moved to the the Univ of Denver and Denver in 80. Been here ever since. The one thing we don't have is humidity. Love it. Great year around outdoor activity. Generally can bicycle every month of the year.

As retirement approached we began the "Search" from Florida to CA to AZ to ?? Every area had a couple of big negatives and finally decided (for us) that Denver was as good as it gets. Our local school district is constantly ranked in the top 25, 30 (whatever the number), property taxes are too low, housing is reasonable, and Denver is one of the youngest cities in the US.

But you need to decide which criteria are critical for you and which are not.

I like that first sentence is in the post above. If I didn't like where I lived, I would have moved a long time ago -lol!

You don't want El Paso.

Albuquerque has winter, although it has sunny days that feel warmer than the thermometer shows. Nights are below freezing most winter nights. Real estate costs less but schools can be iffy in most areas other than the high cost home areas. I left NY 2001 one seeking an easier way of life and ended up in ABQ. I wanted sunshine (300+ days) lower cost of living but didn't have young kids. I love it here, but there are some things that aren't so great. Medical care is a tough thing here, many Drs. leave because they make so little money. Hard to get care sometimes. If you ever need to work outside Fed. govt. jobs here are hard to come by. And we do have crime, but then I guess all cities, no matter the size, have rime.

You need to do some research and some traveling. You need to see what things are like in person. I made 3 trip to looks see- at different times of year to see what it was like in different seasons. We don't have great public transit.

We do have some amazing things too, so only you can decide what matters most.

If you are relying on AF base employment, that is always iffy as they are always threatening to close the few bases we have here.

I have only lived in one area I truly disliked...the northeastern part of NC. The only upside is the cost of living was amazingly low....I think because no one wanted to live there.

I think that you need to go about this in a logical way:

Check out where there are reasonable job opportunities

Look at cost of living - recognizing that almost anyplace a low housing budget usually cuts you out of the best neighborhoods and schools (and I think $300 K for a family home is budget except for a few places with very low housing costs - much of Texas and Nevada - but you can get info on this in a bunch of relocation web sites

Look at climate

Look at crime statistics

Not sure about friendliness - that can mean different things in different places (I speak to my neighbors in the building but can't greet everyone on my block - since it's about 5K people)

But do a lot of collecting info before you start to visit places that you think have potential.

An amazing thread.
Look at cost of living - recognizing that almost anyplace a low housing budget usually cuts you out of the best neighborhoods and schools (and I think $300 K for a family home is budget except for a few places with very low housing costs - much of Texas and Nevada - but you can get info on this in a bunch of relocation web sites

Typical NYC viewpoint. NOT knowledgeable at all--for Charlotte, at least, and many other places. OH, and I have lived in NYC!! LOL Can you say "provincial"!!

Nyt......this is an example of what $300k will get you in the burbs of Va.

http://www.midlothianrealestate4sale...from_script=P2

$300K would buy a very nice house in the suburbs of Tampa, a decent one in the more blue collar (safe, nice) neighborhoods in the city, and a small, older condo in the nicer neighborhoods in the city. It's all relative. But yes, the blanket statement above is ridiculous.

There is IMO a lot of "provincial" in the OP's attitude who apparently enjoys COMPLAINING

Dukey, nyt is a font of disinformation on topics great and small, including New York City. "Provincial" is a kind descriptor, IMO. As for the OP, he doesn't like where he lives, which is why he complains about it. Should he stay put and remain unhappy or explore other options while he and his wife are young enough to do so?

As a former federal employee (a long long time ago in a galaxy far, far away) I became aware of how the federal government is structured. For one thing, when one lives in the general DC area one is surrounded by fellow feds, and many, many people know the difference between a GS-14 and a Schedule C person.

Not so in the provinces.

<i>I've thought about: Tampa area, Pensacola area, Jacksonville area, Albuquerque area, Colorado, Utah, Las Vegas area, and Charlotte area, Las Cruces, El Paso, and Austin.</i>

Except for Denver, are any of the cities listed there regional headquarters for cabinet-level federal agencies? If you're in your late 30s and (it sounds like) reasonably well educated, can one surmise that you are in some sort of professional occupations/grades with the feds? Have you <i>seen</i> the salary spreads in regional or field offices for your agencies? Unless things have changed hugely, the GS levels you'll encounter in the regions are way, way less top-heavy than around DC, so moving where you can stay employed with the feds <i>without a big drop in salary</i> might be a major task.

And while the cost of living might be lower in some of those areas compared to suburban DC, it might not, particularly when you add in travel expenses to visit family or friends, the need (maybe) for two cars, for child care if you both work, and on and on.

I would make employment prospects and <i>real</i> local economic factors the big dog in the hunt, rather than talking about degree heating days or persistent rain. Persistent unemployment is way worse.

Just sayin'.

Thanks for the info from some, but the discussion is getting off topic from others. This was not started to argue and go back and forth about issues and others opinions.

Just want to know where you live and what it is like as a resident. We have visited many places but a different persepective is provided when not living day to day there.