Relocation Discussion
 

My wife and I have lived in Maryland for our entire lives and are thinking of moving in 5-6 years. We live right outside Washington, DC in a not so great County (Prince George's). We have visited all but four states, so we have seen a good bit of the country. Since we have never moved before or lived in another state, thought I'd see what other Fodorite's have to say about where they live.

We are currently pregnant with our first and we are both in our late 30's. The schools around us are horrible and we do not want to pay for private school. We want something opposite of what the D.C. area is all about. Our area is overpopulated, traffic is ridiculous, people are rude, high crime, people care more about status, shopping and movies are considered weekend activities, high cost of living, people do nothing but complain, and no sense of community. I'd never recommend anyone move to this area. Quality of life is the pits.

We thought about checking out Charlotte, NC but the more I read in forums, the more it sounded like a smaller (but growing) version of the Washington, DC area.

We both love the Southwest.

We'd prefer warmer weather.

Just a discussion, give me your thoughts.....thanks.

Charleston, SC. My SD and her husband and toddler just moved there from RVA and it's is fabulous.

I am also partial to my hometown of Richmond, VA.

You might want to see one of the editions of a magazine's "best places to live". I think Money does one. Even if you don't choose one of those exact places the criteria to consider are nicely explained for all.

JanetKMR,

What is SD and RVA?

I have seen some of those "best places" articles and many times, they always seem sort of incomplete too me with regards to full detail.

We did visit Charleston, SC about a year ago and it seemed nice. So did some of the outer areas. Richmond is changing and is up and coming, but not sure it is a place for us.

In our area, unless you live in a lower income or high crime area, housing is $300,000+. Most new housing in better areas and some not all that great areas are starting at $500,000 and even $800,000. My wife and I prefer to not sink our entire income into a mortgage so that we can enjoy life. We have plenty of friends up here that do nothing but work and pay a mortgage.

Do you have skills that you can take anywhere? I would check out employment options, then look for places that have the kind of community you want. Do you have family who want to be a part of your little one's life?

People you meet often reflect what you put at them, so keep a smile on your face and be polite.

There are good schools in many places. We live in a rural area of CT, that has wonderful public schools. People are friendly, but do not intrude on their neighbors uninvited. Traffic away from the cities and coast is fine. The cost of living here is high. Health care is good.

We both have Federal jobs, so that is a must for at least my wife (she has much more time in service and is at a higher level).

When you smile at most people around our area or wave to them, you get looked at like a weirdo. Not many thank yous, your welcome, holding of doors, etc.

Since we have never moved beofre, it is just something really scary to think of regarding all the change. Once we get out of here, we do not intend on bouncing around.

With all due respect, your list of things you dislike about where you live is long and detailed, but you failed to say much about what you LIKE besides warmer weather. Sure, no one likes high crime, bad schools and rude people, but even once you factor those out and throw in warm weather, there are many, many places to choose from.

Do you have family or friends you'd like stay near? The Federal job thing is a big deal; have you looked into where your wife could transfer? Because I would think that list would be very short unless she is in some sort of law enforcement position.

Also, great public schools and low housing costs tend not to go together...

So, to be constructive, I'll say that we love the Southwest, too and have seriously considered living in Tucson. I don't think public schools are all that great there, but it's uncrowded and housing is much less pricy than in the DC area.

Another thought: why not move to another part of the DC area? Public schools in Northern Virginia are very good. It will still be densely populated, but if you get a bit more of what you want without the risk of moving a great distance, you might be happier.

At 30, career and jobs should probably decisions as to where to move. What are you options with current employment situation? Where are there government facilities that you can transfer to? Make a list of where transfers might be available and decide between those cities at the moment. Denver comes to mind with a major facility on the west side. And Denver could meet a lot of your earlier concerns.

And there are places where you can find great schools and moderate housing prices.

"What is SD and RVA?"

Most likely stepdaughter and Richmond, VA.

Under what circumstances do you wave at people?

I would never equate Charlotte with DC--I have lived here for 50 years now and have seen the growth which is great, of course. But one thing has remained the same--the neighborhoods in Charlotte are quite amazing to me and remain so. Whether in more modest parts of town or higher end, they are beautiful and show great pride. The corporate structure in charlotte supports its arts and its charities to an incredible extent. I have long said, and still do--Charlotte is a largish city that feels small and accessible.
Our DD has just moved back to Charlotte, and the housing market is on fire--in all ranges and with all levels available. Your "level" of $300,000 is quite available in lovely parts of town--and even less.
I have no idea what the Federal job market looks like outside of DC!!
And I'd be glad to wave "hi" to you.

Move to southern California.

<Not many thank yous, your welcome, holding of doors, etc.>

I would never try to relocate based on that criteria. Good luck finding someplace where people will hold the door for you!

Have you tried www.findyourspot.com? It might be helpful.

Lee Ann

Well, I wouldn't necessarily have it as a criterion, but it happens in Charlotte several times a week to me.

Since I have never lived anhywhere else, it is hard to figure out where to start. We want totally out of the D.C. area, so no Northern Virginia.

I know not everyone is going to hold the door and say thank you but I'd like to get it more often than our area where my wife has been laughed at for falling down steps at the Metro Station and people have a total disregard for others.

I started this forum just to get an idea of different places and waht people think of them.

No, no family will be near us if we move. All family is in the D.C. area except sister is in Oregon (no interest in that). Although, the Goonie house was on the market when she first moved out there, should have bought it and turned it into a bed and breakfast (missed on that one). And a sister-in-law in North Carolina.

I've thought about: Tampa area, Pensacola area, Jacksonville area, Albuquerque area, Colorado, Utah, Las Vegas area, and Charlotte area, Las Cruces, El Paso, and Austin.

New England states are nice, but really cold.

We've liked some other cities and states during our visits, but not sure we'd want to live there for various reasons. Oklahoma City was really nice (tornados), Green Bay was fun and small town (COLD!!).

Had a trip to Charlotte planned to check it out, but had to cancel because my wife got sick.

It is just a big step we would take and nothing either of us is familiar with.

What do you think, like, hate about where you live?

I know I am all over the place with some of this. I just want to hear from others about there city/state. I know I cannot have the perfect location.

I love virtually everything about Richmond. I am biased, but there is nowhere else I'd rather be.

I absolutely adore Seattle. I moved here 20+ years ago to "try it out for a year" and never looked/went back. But it doesn't fit hardly any of your listed criteria.

For reference, I have lived in California, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and now Washington state, and plan/hope to retire in Hawaii. I've loved every one of them (except CT).

Have you always been in Richmond? We have stopped there a few times on the way to NC and spent the day/night. It seems like a decent area that is starting to make a turnaround. We enjoy breweries and I know there are many popping up around the area.

Wow suze, you have lived many different places. Seattle is most likely out just because I cannot stand dark/rainy type days for very long. I hate it here when the sun is gone for more than a day. Bothers me more than my wife.

Where did you live in those states and why did you not like CT?

Well, I happen to live in Tampa and I really like it here. We live in the city, not in the suburbs, which means we can walk to some shops and restaurants and our neighbors can walk to their kids' elementary and middle schools; the Gorrie-Wilson-Plant school district is excellent, so no need to pay for private schools, and the schools in Hillsborough County in general are good. On the con side, housing is fairly expensive in the best parts of town--but isn't that always the way? There is a lot of variety in the housing market here: lots of older homes, lots of newer and new homes, lots of suburbs from which to choose, lots of price points. The beach is a short drive away. The airport is a good size. While there are a lot of retirees, the community as a whole seems diverse in age to me, although a lot depends on where exactly you live. And, lastly, there are federal jobs at MacDill AFB.

What don't I like about Tampa? Florida has backward political leadership, which means things like light rail get stalled for purely partisan reasons. High culture--I mean great museums, great theater--is lacking, although there are a lot of music venues. (And there are some museums...)

I can't list many cons because, having lived in, oh, a dozen different places (including overseas), I think I can be happy anywhere, maybe because I focus on living the way I want to and try not to let the turkeys get me down. That said, Tampa seems a friendly place--to me :-)

We moved here from VaBeach when I was 2. I left for college at 18 and after college got married and lived in Fredericksburg for 2 years before moving to Murfreesboro, NC (you do NOT want to live there...lol) for 5 years.

I moved back here in 1992. We have good restaurants, moderate cost of living, very little traffic, 2 hours to the mountains or beach, and the suburbs have good school systems.

Wilmington N.C. is nice. You need to be where you can get a federal job. Keep looking at federaljobsearch or usajobs.gov to give you a sense of where the best jobs are located in your field. VA is hot now and Orlando is about to open a huge state of the art hospital there.

Thanks for the info on Tampa. We've been there once, but only for a weekend, so did not get much of a feel for it. I have heard people say it is terrible there for some reason. BUT, I sort of liked El Paso, TX and I have heard a local radio host rip on that city for years.

Wilmington seems like it might be nice (never been though), but of course....the job thing.

My wife does contracts and I know on usajobs there is a listing for almost every air force base for that type of job. So, being near an air force base might be the way to go.

I grew up in Los Angeles (two different homes in Venice) California until I was mid-teens.

Then my parents moved to Connecticut when I was in high school. I thought it was booooring and wanted only to stay in Calif. at that time.

Then college in Springfield, Massachusetts, after that I lived on my own in Northampton before moving up to Westmoreland to live on a commune with friends, which is outside Keene New Hampshire. I also lived on the lake at West Swansey NH. Then moved over to Brattleboro, Vermont (also living at times in Dummerston and Newfane nearby).

Then on a whim drove myself cross-country and moved to Seattle. Been here ever since. And will be until I can pull off the Hawaii move.

jedivader, any place as big as DC, or Tampa, or El Paso, for that matter, is going to have good and bad areas. Some people who live there love it, some hate it, others are in between, but their reasons are many and may have to do more with their personal or professional lives than the place itself. I know you know that, I just thought it was worth repeating!

I do think that making a list of places she could get a job, and narrowing from there (as someone else suggested), is the way to go.

Most definitely. Find work first. Try to find your top 3 picks. Then narrow it down from there. That's a lot easier. Plus it really doesn't matter what other people like, only what fits you and your wife. For instance the Seattle weather suits me fine, I just vacation twice annually in either Hawaii or Mexico. The summers are glorious here.

This is kind of a bottom up approach 'cause just about everyone likes where they are at and have made the adjustments necessary for it to work.

My first job was in Charlotte in 65 and liked the area. Four seasons and generally mild except summers were hot and humid. Not as hot and humid as Florida but more than I liked. Came to Indiana for graduate school and stayed on as a faculty member - first on the Bloomington campus and later the Northwest campus near Chicago. Liked the Midwest and especially Chicago BUT winters and summers are bad. Moved to the the Univ of Denver and Denver in 80. Been here ever since. The one thing we don't have is humidity. Love it. Great year around outdoor activity. Generally can bicycle every month of the year.

As retirement approached we began the "Search" from Florida to CA to AZ to ?? Every area had a couple of big negatives and finally decided (for us) that Denver was as good as it gets. Our local school district is constantly ranked in the top 25, 30 (whatever the number), property taxes are too low, housing is reasonable, and Denver is one of the youngest cities in the US.

But you need to decide which criteria are critical for you and which are not.

I like that first sentence is in the post above. If I didn't like where I lived, I would have moved a long time ago -lol!

You don't want El Paso.

Albuquerque has winter, although it has sunny days that feel warmer than the thermometer shows. Nights are below freezing most winter nights. Real estate costs less but schools can be iffy in most areas other than the high cost home areas. I left NY 2001 one seeking an easier way of life and ended up in ABQ. I wanted sunshine (300+ days) lower cost of living but didn't have young kids. I love it here, but there are some things that aren't so great. Medical care is a tough thing here, many Drs. leave because they make so little money. Hard to get care sometimes. If you ever need to work outside Fed. govt. jobs here are hard to come by. And we do have crime, but then I guess all cities, no matter the size, have rime.

You need to do some research and some traveling. You need to see what things are like in person. I made 3 trip to looks see- at different times of year to see what it was like in different seasons. We don't have great public transit.

We do have some amazing things too, so only you can decide what matters most.

If you are relying on AF base employment, that is always iffy as they are always threatening to close the few bases we have here.

I have only lived in one area I truly disliked...the northeastern part of NC. The only upside is the cost of living was amazingly low....I think because no one wanted to live there.

I think that you need to go about this in a logical way:

Check out where there are reasonable job opportunities

Look at cost of living - recognizing that almost anyplace a low housing budget usually cuts you out of the best neighborhoods and schools (and I think $300 K for a family home is budget except for a few places with very low housing costs - much of Texas and Nevada - but you can get info on this in a bunch of relocation web sites

Look at climate

Look at crime statistics

Not sure about friendliness - that can mean different things in different places (I speak to my neighbors in the building but can't greet everyone on my block - since it's about 5K people)

But do a lot of collecting info before you start to visit places that you think have potential.

An amazing thread.
Look at cost of living - recognizing that almost anyplace a low housing budget usually cuts you out of the best neighborhoods and schools (and I think $300 K for a family home is budget except for a few places with very low housing costs - much of Texas and Nevada - but you can get info on this in a bunch of relocation web sites

Typical NYC viewpoint. NOT knowledgeable at all--for Charlotte, at least, and many other places. OH, and I have lived in NYC!! LOL Can you say "provincial"!!

Nyt......this is an example of what $300k will get you in the burbs of Va.

http://www.midlothianrealestate4sale...from_script=P2

$300K would buy a very nice house in the suburbs of Tampa, a decent one in the more blue collar (safe, nice) neighborhoods in the city, and a small, older condo in the nicer neighborhoods in the city. It's all relative. But yes, the blanket statement above is ridiculous.

There is IMO a lot of "provincial" in the OP's attitude who apparently enjoys COMPLAINING

Dukey, nyt is a font of disinformation on topics great and small, including New York City. "Provincial" is a kind descriptor, IMO. As for the OP, he doesn't like where he lives, which is why he complains about it. Should he stay put and remain unhappy or explore other options while he and his wife are young enough to do so?

As a former federal employee (a long long time ago in a galaxy far, far away) I became aware of how the federal government is structured. For one thing, when one lives in the general DC area one is surrounded by fellow feds, and many, many people know the difference between a GS-14 and a Schedule C person.

Not so in the provinces.

<i>I've thought about: Tampa area, Pensacola area, Jacksonville area, Albuquerque area, Colorado, Utah, Las Vegas area, and Charlotte area, Las Cruces, El Paso, and Austin.</i>

Except for Denver, are any of the cities listed there regional headquarters for cabinet-level federal agencies? If you're in your late 30s and (it sounds like) reasonably well educated, can one surmise that you are in some sort of professional occupations/grades with the feds? Have you <i>seen</i> the salary spreads in regional or field offices for your agencies? Unless things have changed hugely, the GS levels you'll encounter in the regions are way, way less top-heavy than around DC, so moving where you can stay employed with the feds <i>without a big drop in salary</i> might be a major task.

And while the cost of living might be lower in some of those areas compared to suburban DC, it might not, particularly when you add in travel expenses to visit family or friends, the need (maybe) for two cars, for child care if you both work, and on and on.

I would make employment prospects and <i>real</i> local economic factors the big dog in the hunt, rather than talking about degree heating days or persistent rain. Persistent unemployment is way worse.

Just sayin'.

Thanks for the info from some, but the discussion is getting off topic from others. This was not started to argue and go back and forth about issues and others opinions.

Just want to know where you live and what it is like as a resident. We have visited many places but a different persepective is provided when not living day to day there.