Please share your experiences/opinions about hotel babysitters!!
 

Hi y'all,

I was wondering what type of experiences good or bad you Fodorites have had with a babysitting service either through a hotel or a local service. I have only used once, a local service that supplied me with a sitter who was licensed, bonded and insured. It worked out OK, but my 9 yr old niece was there to report to me if there was any funny business. Forgive me if I sound a bit paranoid, but I just don't completely trust someone I don't know with my kids. Any ideas/comments/ suggestions are appreicated!!

I thought about using a hotel service but I would never be able to trust anyone like that with my kids, so you can call me paranoid too. I did use the kids club type of services at several resorts and never had a problem. I would feel really wierd about having a complete stranger come into my hotel room and stay with my child. I also knew my kids would feel really uncomfortable.

We had only positive experiences (2), but our experience was in a different era too.

One we had in Miami was a truly elegant Cuban woman. Talking with her we learned she and her husband, a physician, had fled Cuba, but he could not practice medicine here until he fulfilled whatever the requirements are, and they were doing what they could to make ends meet in the interim.

Our other experience was a delightful older lady in Dallas when we first moved there. The kids loved her...they wanted Mary to come back anytime we had a hotel function and needed a sitter there...and she did, time and again. There were always little gifts for the kids, cards at their birthdays, a party for all children she baby sat and their parents at one of the nicer old established restaurants in Dallas, and lots of fond memories still. We ended up using her again when we had a trip to HI...we were that comfortable with her.

In both cases these were hotel supplied sitters. The Dallas sitter was supplied by the Hyatt, Miami sitter by Sonesta. Sitters supplied by my husbands hotel must be accredited (by whom I don't know), bonded and insured. The guests are supplied with a list of sitters and select their own after interviewing them. I know on occasion one of our concierges babysits for guests when she's off-duty too. It's a ticklish topic...and certainly a far different era than the one in which we raised our kids.

Yesu, I from time to time, when our daughter was little, thought about hiring a hotel babysitter but I never did. The thought of a stranger in a hotel room with my little girl just really worried me. I am glad I never did, especially with all the newsreports that we have been hearing the past years.
I think a parent has to listen to what their "sixth sense" tells them. And I think since you have posted this question you do not feel alright about doing this. I may be wrong, but that is what I am reading. The one time you did when your 9 year old niece was there probably made you feel alright about everything.
I don't think you sound paranoid at all.
I think you sound like a very loving and carrying parent.
Personally I would not leave my child in a hotel room with a stranger. I am sure there are very good babysitters that do this job to make the money they need to support their family. But I just wouldn't take the chance.
Listen to your heart.

Thanks everyone,

I saw a link for the Nanny Connection on this site and checked it out. Looks very reputable and our hotel frequently recommends it. I will probably get a nanny first during the day for a couple of hours, while I am present, (like a mommy's helper) by the pool, etc... so I can watch her interact with the kids. Then if it works out, maybe for dinner after kids are already in bed asleep. DH and I are just so protective... and these days you can't be too careful!

Thanks, loveitaly,

I guess what we really need is just a third "helper" during the day when we are around so we can just veg a bit on a chair or something. I don't want to have the kids alone in a room or anything, DH and I just want to be able to relax a bit on vacation, not have to change every diaper or fill every sippy cup... you get my drift. I am a stay at home mom and even though I have help during the day here, I am usually at home with them most of the time. I know that these years are so precious and will not last forever. I think that if we just had a bit of relief for a few hours a day (while present) it would really make a difference!

If you stay in a really good hotel in a nice suite, you might be able to get Michael Jackson to come sit with the kids.

Are you kidding Patrick???//

yesu, we will ignore Patrick!!! [-X
If you are thinking of someone to be like a nanny, to take care of your child while you are there, I should think that would be wonderful. You would have nothing to worry about, but you would not have to be jumping up every few minutes to tend to your child.
I think any mother would consider that a vacation in itself.

We took our mothers helper with us when we traveled, or when we stayed out at the beach for the summer, I would hire a teenager to be a mothers helper. I was never able to leave my children with a stranger in a strange land/country/state .. I always had this fear that they would be gone when I got back.

You are very kind, loveitaly, and yes...we will ignore Patrick, although I do get his meaning and am sure he meant well :)

Has anyone else used Nanny Connection?

Scarlett,

We would have to get another room if we brought a helper. I think it looks like we will only use "rent a nanny" service during the day and early evening while we are present- I agree the risk is too great.

I am sure this will work out well for you. After all, as you say, you will be there too.
I hope you can post back after your trip and tell everyone how well it worked, there have been quite a few questions about babysitters on here.
Have fun!

I found that it worked better for us to take a baby sitter from home with us when we had family vacations at the beach.

We never did because I figured I would use the same criteria for hiring a sitter on vacation as I did at home. That is, at home I would never hire someone I knew nothing about, had never seen before, did not come with any references from people I knew or could check out.

We've used hotel sitters in about a dozen different cities in Europe and North America over the last three years. We've never once felt uncomfortable with whom the hotel used or with their answers regarding how they choose their sitters and their requirements for someone they send.

If you feel uncomfotable its a personal choice so by all means the suggestion to bring someone with you from home makes sense.

Both my wife and I are fairly good at reading people and I think you can tell fairly quickly someone's demeanor and attitude towards children. I can't recall hearing of one incident of a hotel babysitter violating a parent's trust. I can think of several prominent incidences where it has been a "trusted" relative or family member.

You people who leave your kids with strangers while on vacation are absolutely sick in the head and extremely selfish. This is why I have no sympathy for parents of kids who get molested while at resorts, like that guy in the Carribbean last year (bear in mind, I have the utmost sympathy for the children, just not the parents). Do you actually think that being "bonded" ensures that one is not a pedifile? If you don't have trusted friends or family to take care of your kids, and just can't do without a fancy meal alone with your spouse while vacationing, maybe you shouldn't have born children to begin with.

How dare you toss out your self-rightous, holier than thou comments Loki.

My wife and I are sick in the head? You know what's sick in the head, that you are so self-rightous as to be unable to have sympathy for a parent of a child who was molested. Guess that's what happens when you belive that you're morally superior to others, one becomes incapable of being sympathetic.

Given the literally hundreds of thousands of hours that parents spend at resorts and have their kids in kids clubs, you found one incident. The guy who was arrested was the hotels activities director, not a babysitter.

Of couse, given that a young child was killed just recently at his "trusted" daycare center in NY, and that numerous cases abound of "trusted" clergy and teachers have molested students, I guess, if I'm free to use your myopic view, that those parents who send their kids to church and school are "sick in the head."

The only kind of person who would question the idea of a sitter on a vacation is a nutjob, possibly with abandonment issues -- and either they have no kids or are raising some small, paranoid, center-of-the-universe nutlets.

Fact of life: adults stay up later than kids. Being at a resort or hotel doesn't require an adult to sit in the room every evening after 8 pm, and it would be a waste of the time and money to do that. Loki, are you suggesting the alternative is not to bring children at all on such trips and leave them home with a sitter instead? Or are you suggesting that adults stay in with the children every night until they're 18?

Be glad that yesu and others ask these kinds of questions -- sounds highly responsible to me.

Dare I step into the fray? I have five children and have traveled with them many times. As my youngest is now fifteen, we have dealt with some of these issues. My two cents... I never used babysitting services at hotels/resorts. Not because I wouldn't have enjoyed a dinner out alone with my husband. But rather because on vacation is a special time with the kids as well as for us. So we let them stay up later and do late fun things together. If you are concerned about who you are leaving your children with you won't enjoy your time alone anyway. You'll spend the whole time wondering how you child(ren) are. We tried to take time at home to do "alone" activities where we could leave the kids with trusted sitters. I am a bit overprotective with my family, I'm the first to admit it. And I know that the services of a hotel sitter are most likely just fine. The other thing my DH and I did when our youngest was a baby was to start taking a mini-vacation by ourselves. This has since expanded to a week away every winter without the kids.

For me, you have to go with your comfort zone and trust your gut.

yesu, from what it sounds like you are looking for nanny.

Because hotel provided help is expensive, have you thought of bringing a family member with you to watch your child?

I can't imagine what you would be paying through a hotel service.

I loved (and miss) my son's company on vacations and rarely didn't spend the evenings doing things with him. But when he was smaller, there were some trips on which we would be out for the evening -- on one occasion, a family event with a late adults-only party, on another, a business-related dinner, and sure, once or twice to a grown-up dinner and show or movie.

He loved having roomservice with the sitter -- it was a treat for him. And we still got to spend the vast majority of the time with him. We always investigated the sitter situation carefully, made the sitter come early to talk with her for a while and get some impressions, and checked in once or twice while we were out.

I agree with those who think Loki is waaaaaayy out in left field (outside the ballpark in another city) on this one. You can have perfectly reasonable or legitimate reasons for spending a little adult time on a vacation and still have the vast majority of the time with your child/children.

A side comment -- if you are a busy young couple, chances are good you NEED the marriage maintenance opportunities during your vacation, and that can only benefit your children -- directly by improvements in your own joie de vivre and indirectly by setting an example of adult togetherness and strength.

GoT, I believe somewhere up in this thread yesu indicated that she didn't want to bring someone from home along as it would necessitate paying for another room.

My sister works for a babysitting service in Las Vegas and does in-room sitting. She has been fingerprinted and investigated by the LV Sheriff's Dept. and presents a photo ID from the service to new clients.

She has many regulars who request her...wealthy people who stay in nice suites...who care about their children and don't want to leave them at home.

I'm sure most babysitters are not pedophiles, and parents should not be made to feel like a low life for hiring a professional sitter.

Thanks for the information Rachelle.

obxgirl, I started mentally calculating what a nanny service would cost and I bet an extra room would be cheaper if not close.

I'm with Gail.
My husband and I have serious concerns about leaving our son with someone with know nothing about. And to us it's not enough that a reputable company tells us they've vetted the baby-sitters because when it comes down to it, the company is just another stranger deciding who's good enough to watch our child. My husband and I chose to make that decision. We both work in a business where we hear quite a bit of child abuse stories which I'm sure contributed to our decision to pick who we personally knew and completely trusted.
I'll admit that we are very lucky. We have a great family (our son's grandparents and my husband's sister) who just can't wait to get their hands on our son for a few days so my husband and I can do our long weekend get-aways. I know not everyone has that opportunity.
My suggestion is also for bringing a "helper" with you even though I know you said you didn't really want to book another room.
Good luck.

GoT, I think you're probably right about the cost factor and it would solve the issue of leaving kids with strangers.

Rachelle, I don't think people here are saying professional sitters are pedophiles. I think they're saying there is a degree of discomfort in leaving a child with someone they don't know. You mentioned that your sister has many families who regularly hire her. That says to me that given a choice between a person you know and one you don't , most of us prefer a sitter we know.

I'm not sure I'm qualified to dispense advice here, since I am very new to this parenting business. However, I once heard some great advice about checking up on a day-care situation that might apply to hotel babysitters as well: drop by unannounced, to see what goes on when you're not there. If you have a hotel sitter and want to feel better about it, "forget" something in the room that you need to go back for. See how the sitter (and your child) react to your unannounced visit. Always go with your gut feeling, millions of years of evolution has perfected it for our and our children's safety.

And Loki -- not that your comments need to be dignified with a response, but sometimes the "trusted friend or relative" that you mentioned IS the pedophile. Are you in the psychiatric field that you are qualified to call perfect strangers sick? I didn't think so.

You don't need a PhD to know right from wrong. People leaving their children in the care of strangers while on vacation is just selfish, plain and simple. I haven't heard any justifcation other than what YOU "need". You don't NEED steak and lobster! If your marriage is so fragile that you need to leave your kids with strangers on vacation then maybe you shouldn't be married. I challenge you to find a reputable psychiatrist, sociologist, CPS representative, etc. with such a cavalier attitude toward leaving your child with a "professional" baby sitting service. Post the url. And what does "professional" mean anyway? THat they get paid for it?

No offense to the person who posted about a relative in this business, I'm sure you know that they would never hurt a child but how many people who leave their kids with strangers can honestly say the same? Is it worth the risk?

And as for sympathy, like I said, I have all the sympathy in the world for the child. The parents who left their kid with a strange sitter? No way! None at all! Not even close! Such a person deserves to live with that pain for the rest of their life.

While it's true that I don't have any children, I won't leave my pets with a stranger! I spend more time screening a pet sitter than people could possible spend screening a hotel-provided child sitter.

I love the fact that you guys are getting all wound up because it shows how insecure you really are with your decision. You know deep down inside that it's not the smartest idea so you come here to band together and try and convince each other that you're not being selfish and irresponsible.

we always had good experiences. At one family type resort, we just asked at the front desk and they had a list of local girls who did babysitting. Granted this was for an afternoon and not a long evening. The other times, we first had the boys enroll at the hotel's kids club and then used one of the girls from there. In each case, they had a great time and we had no worries.

A few points about hotel babysitters:

They are generally bonded; you can verify their background, more so than a babysitter you might hire in your own town.

In my experience, they are middle-aged women with children of their own - not exactly the profile of a pedophile.

The hotel hires these sitters repeatedly, and would have a record of complaints if there were any.

If you are on vacation, there are going to be times when you'll need a sitter for small children. IMO, there can be problems with almost any sitter - the worst kind are the inattentive ones, followed closely by those who have unrealistic standards for kids. You have to do some checking, for your own peace of mind.

Here's the facts Loki, or are you one of those people that don't bother to let facts get in the way of a myopic viewpoint.

Fact - 15% of all high school students have claimed to have been the victim of abuse.

Fact - 99.9% of those in both the Scotland Yard and in all US databases of known sexual offenders are men.

Statistically speaking - your children are SIGNIFICANTLY more at risk from simply going to school then they are from a FEMALE babysitter who spends 3 hours with your kids. Statistically speaking, your children are more at risk from a "trusted" male relative then from a female stranger in a hotel.

You have no children, yet you seem to know what is or is not right for someone who does. I can think of several words, but I'll simply go with unbelievable.

In terms of being insecure with our decision, not even close. Telling someone they are a myopic fool, doesn't imply insecurity. More like a need to sometimes tell someone to MYOB.

Ok, can we please STOP NOW.
I don't think the OP would appreciate the hijacking of her thread by ANOTHER fight on Fodors.
It was a legitimate question that we could ALL answer stating our opinion without INSULTING each other.

I was child care facility inspector a few years ago. I think you should expect the same qualifications from a sitter while you are on vacation as you would at home. Many states require basic first aid/CPR, fingerprint clearance, and some ECE units for child care workers. I don't think that is unreasonable, especially if you have a young child.

If you do consider using a babysitting service, just make sure that they require their employees to have these qualifications. Personally, I couldn't leave my child with a stranger. I picture myself hurrying through dinner and skipping dessert just to get back to my little guy. It just would not be worth it for me. Go ahead, call me a "paranoid" "nutjob".

Next trip, grandma is coming along. We have paid for a relative to accompany us on trips before. It was worth every penny.

I never questioned anyone's facts. The statsitics Ryan gives don't surprise me, just keep in mind that "Sex offender" doesn't not = pedifile. Most "sex offender" crimes do not involve children. You can confirm this in the sex offender registry.

http://www.google.com/search?q=sex+o...;hl=en&lr=

As for me not having children, a sign of intelligence is being able to rationalize a situation which you have not experienced. For example, I've never jumped into a volcano spewing lava, but I can rationalize that this is not a good idea. If anything, someone without children would have a tendencey to underestimate the risk of leaving their children with strangers as they have not experienced the bond of offspring. If you took 100 parents and 100 single folk and asked them to rate the risk of leaving a child with a stranger, wouldn't you expect the parents to rate the risk higher? I would think so. Though the flipside is that I haven't experienced the limitations of the responsibility of parenting and I can only try and understand the desire to have some real R&R away from the kids, while still being a responsible parent. I can also try and understand that we take many risks in life. Bringing your child in a car on the highway is obviously much more dangerous than child sitting but one needs weigh the risk vs. reward. It would be difficult to live a normal life if you never allowed your child to ride in a car. I find that leaving your child with a stranger is a risk that should be avoided. Maybe "sick in the head" was a little harsh, I still think the idea is quite irresponsible.

Ryan, as for minding my own business, this a forum, the OP asked for "opinions", so I gave it. Funny how people like to post their opinions but only like to hear others who agree with them. If I'm invading your business by posting on this forum, there's a power buton on your PC, press it, otherwise, deal.

Alright, I'm jumping in against my better judgment. Yesu, I don't know how old your child is or where you plan on going but some places have child care centers that may make you feel more comfortable. I know that the resorts at Disney World have child care centers where you can drop your kids off while you and hubby go to a nice dinner and then pick them up afterwards. They have all sorts of activities planned, movies to watch and a good ratio of adults to kids. Security is tight for picking the kids up as well-photo id required and the like. I also have friends who used the in room sitter there and raved about her.

yesu39470,

The following story might influence your decision:

It was a dark and stormy night at the Hotel Bayonne in New Orleans. My wife and I were getting ready to go out for dinner and trying to decide what to do about our little two-year old, Bishop.
"What about getting one of those hotel babysitters?" Sarah asked.
"You mean entrust the life of our first-born male child to a complete stranger?" I replied in horror.
"Yes." Said Sarah
"Okay, sounds good to me." I agreed.
Five minutes after calling the front desk there was a knock at our room door. I opened it to find an odd-looking little man standing there.
"Hello." He said. "I'm the hotel babysitter, my name's Mr. Bishop."
"Why that's our little boy's name!" responded Sarah in a surprised tone.
"I know," I mean that's nice." Replied Mr. Bishop
Mr. Bishop stood maybe four-feet tall if he was an inch. He had a narrow, angular face with an enormous, hooked nose and large, protruding, buckteeth. He looked nervous and sweaty and rubbed his hands constantly as he spoke.
"Is that Little Bishop over there?" He inquired as he leaned anxiously around the door to peer in.
"Yes." I replied. "Would you like to get a closer look at him?"
Mr. Bishop nodded rapidly--in succession--and excitedly pushed his way past me to where Little Bishop sat on the sofa sleeper.
"Oh! What a magnificent specimen! Uh, I mean little boy child." Exclaimed Mr. Bishop, furiously rubbing his hands together.
"Why thank you!" replied Sarah and I, beaming.
"Well, I can see Little Bishop is in good hands. Ready honey?" I said, holding the room door open for Sarah.
"Ready dear!" replied Sarah, heading for the door. "Have fun with Little Bishop, Mr. Bishop." Sarah shot back over her shoulder.
"Oh, I will!" shouted Mr. Bishop with a look of mad glee on his face. "I will."
Out in the hallway Sarah turned to me and remarked how nice it was to have found someone who seemed so excited about his work, taking care of our son. I told her I couldn't agree more and we left for dinner.

Not in any hurry to return, Sarah and I ate, drank and danced the night away at a local club. The club seemed to never close and suddenly we realized we had been away from the room for over twenty-four hours. Chuckling at our foolishness and irresponsibility, we decided it was time to check in on the animated Mr. Bishop and the little light of our lives. We made our way back to the hotel and then up to our room, stopping only for a quick cup of coffee and a beignet along the way. When we finally reached our hotel and room, the door was slightly ajar.

Continued below...

"That"s strange," I said, "Mr. Bishop didn't strike me as the kind of man who would be irresponsible enough to leave the door open."
"Me either," added Sarah, a look of complete puzzlement on her face.
Slowly I pushed the door open and recoiled in horror at the scene before me.
"Oh my God!" I gasped, "this isn't our room."
Making our way back down the hall, then the elevator, we came to a sudden realization: we were in the wrong hotel.
"Silly us." Laughed Sarah.

Exiting the "Hotel Bayou" (honest mistake) we made our way through the winding streets back in the direction of our hotel. Being that it was way past breakfast time (10am) we stopped, briefly, for a combination sit down/buffet brunch. Finishing our repast precisely at noon we, once again, made a beeline to the Hotel Bayonne. Some souvenirs caught our eye so we stopped one last time to purchase a few of them.

At approximately 1pm we sauntered into the lobby of the Hotel Bayonne. The two clerks at the front desk looked up at us and then quickly averted their eyes, as if they were afraid to say anything to us. Thinking their behavior odd, we decided not to say anything either and proceeded up to our room. Exiting the elevator, we turned to head down the hall and stopped dead in our tracks: there were two policemen standing outside the door to our room. What could possibly be wrong? We wondered. Certainly nothing could have happened in the obviously capable hands of the confidence-inducing Mr. Bishop!

With all feeling ebbing from my legs we slowly walked the twenty or so steps to our room. Just like in the movies, the closer we got, the more the hallway seemed to stretch out before us. After what felt like an interminable amount of time, we reached the two policemen.
"Oh my God!" Sarah exclaimed, "what has happened? What has that bastard done with our son!?"
"Mr. And Mrs. Swanson?" Inquired one of the policeman.
"Yes?" We answered, in terrified unison.
"I'm afraid I have some rather bad news for you," he continued.
"Oh my God, no! What is it?" I asked, shaking.
"I'm afraid you're both under arrest for child neglect." Said the policeman, slapping handcuffs on both of us.

It seems that when we didn't show up for over thirty hours, the ever-responsible Mr. Bishop called the cops on us. I knew he was a good man when we hired him!

The End

Happy Halloween!

AL ((d))

Loki,

If you're going to continue with your self-righteous ravings, you should probably know that the correct spelling for the monsters who abuse children is P E D O P H I L E.

Hey Al did you once write the story we all read here about a haunted house where a couple was staying? As I recall that story was never finished. If it was you had you thought of an ending yet?