NOLA tourist traps to avoid
 

I've received some great recomendations for my upcoming honeymoon in New Orleans. I thought I'd inquire about places to avoid. Perhaps places to avoid during certain times of the week or places that are a complete waste of time and money. I love my Fodors guide book, but sometimes what sounds good in print doesn't translate to a good time.

- Rob

I had heard or read a lonnnnng time ago that if anyone ever walks up to you and tells you that he will bet you $5 he can tell you what state you got your shoes in... That this is an old bar trick. The answer is "You got your shoes in the state of Louisiana right now".


True story:

We were walking St. Charles in April this year when a man began to ask the question to my companion --- I interrupted him and told him to move on. He did, and we saw him asking the same question to another set of tourists. I knew because the tourist man actually looked down at his shoes after the "local" pointed at them.

Avoid the Court of Two Sisters, and avoid breakfast at Brennan's. Avoid - not that it'd come up - Antoine's.
I wouldn't spend a lot of time at Emeril's restaurants, either.

I wanted to go to Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville, however people told me that was way too touristy & tacky. We went anyway, as I love my Margaritas. I had a GREAT Margarita, and my meal was pretty good. Same for the rest in my party. The wait staff weren't too attentive (not a busy day, only 1/4 filled), but they were happy to change one of our orders when asked.

So, my point -- even if something looks touristy, try it if you really want! You never know!

Rob, avoid all the places in the quarter that want to sell you drink concoctions in large plastic containers that look like pineapples or rocket launchers....and don't venture out of the quarter at night!

Also watch out for the "fun police" they stop you to tell you you're having too much fun (or not enough, I can't remember) and then ask for a $10 donation to a charity they sponsor. Not sure how legit the charity is

Yeah, you'll run into these official sounding folks on Decatur St. around Jackson Square. Just ignore them or tell them to piss off. They can be quite obnoxious.

I'd also pass on the carriage rides. Their quite expensive and you'll usually see one poor mule pulling a huge carriage with 6 big fat tourists who wouldn't think of walking the Quarter. And while some of the guides may be informative, you'll get a lot better info on a walking tour of the Quarter.

The Voodoo Museum is a mixed bag - small but somewhat informative if you're interested in that kind of thing. The Wax Museum is not worth the money unless you're under the influence of something stronger than a Hurricane. A good cemetary tour is worth it.

If you're into bar hopping, be sure to spend more time off Bourbon than on it. You'll also fine some good high-end bars just across Canal St in the business district in some of the upscale hotels.

TimeOut publishes the best guidebook on New Orleans IMO. You can pick up a used copy at Amazon for cheap.

You might also want to avoid the same dozen restaurants that get recommended on this board over and over and over.

Yes, they all have good food but so do hundreds of other places. There are SO many great places to eat in NO that it would be a shame to only try the over-recommended places mentioned here and in tourist guidebooks.

So, bardo, you suggest that Rob ignore the advice that's presented here? That doesn't make sense.

The reason places are recommended over and over is because they are generally GOOD and CONSISTENT. Bayona, for example, is great and you can't find that combination of food, service and atmosphere just anywhere.

I agree than NOLA has many great places and you should try some "off the beaten path" places but I wouldn't discount the popular ones, either. I WOULD avoid the chains like Hard ROck and Bubba Gump's. Blech!

I meant to imply that New Orleans is an overwhelming food town and offers limitless options (especially for a visit of a week or less).

My point was that there are many, many other places also good and consistent that should also be explored. This board steers tourists to the same dozen spots and leaves out the hundreds of other worthy destinations.

BTW, I love Galatoire's, CP, etc., etc.

I agree with avoiding chains while in NO - there are just so many good places that it would be a shame to eat at a chain :)

We ate at Court of Two Sisters because of the history and nostalgia. The food was ok, nothing great, just ok. The atmosphere was good though.

We did the carriage ride, which was a lot of fun. It was a touristy thing to do, of course, but then we were tourists. And don't worry Brian - we aren't 6 fat tourists who wouldn't think of walking the Quarter ;)

We also did a carriage ride, courtesy of an apparently happy mule who received much considerate attention from our driver, and I recommend it because it included a tour of one of the cemeteries, a place I would not like to go alone. We didn't have a bad meal when we were there, and we didn't go to any of the famous/fancy places. We did get hit up by a woman who tried to bet us that she knew where we got our shoes, but she messed up the question and we actually corrected her, and we all finally started laughing and she went on her merry way. I recommend you do the same if anyone suggests paying a "fun police" ticket--just say no thanks, you'll have more (or less) fun if you hang on to your money this time. Also, if a stranger strikes up a conversation and then offers to take your picture with your camera, I recommend "thanks, but no thanks." If you want a picture, ask another tourist couple or family to take it. My friend says the dinner cruise on the river is not worthwhile in terms of the food (and the river is not particularly scenic in NOLA). Also, the various shops that specialize in tours seemed vaguely expensive to me; it's easier to contact a tour yourself and make your own reservation. New Orleans (especially the French Quarter) is great fun, so approach it with an air of adventure--you'll be able to tell what is worthwhile by the way it looks, most of the time. I hope you enjoy your time there as much as I did.

The run-down parts of the city should be avoided at night. Avoid the area around and north of Rampart Street any time. At night, as a general rule, stay where there are other people; don't wander off alone or in a small group. Usually nothing happens to people because the law enforcement is pretty good, but they can't be everywhere at once. Other than that, just use your judgment and generally walk away from anyone who approaches you for any purpose.

And if you think this is much different from any other big city where there are lots of tourists--think again. It's a problem with our entire country, which is why I try to avoid large cities.

Let's face it, the entire French Quarter is one big, very enjoyable, can't-miss-it tourist trap.

Don't miss <i>anything</i> that looks fun to you; after all, it's <i>your</i> honeymoon!

Avoid those &quot;ghost tours&quot; ... I thought it was really hokey.

Whatever you do and no matter how many drinks you have and no matter how intriguing it appears, stay away from the Natchez Steamboat. It is beyond hokey - it is just dull and dreary and a complete waste of money.

I did the carriage ride and enjoyed it. Yes, very touristy but then I was a tourist. And this was done on the last day I was there - after I had spent the previous 7 days walking all over the FQ as well as other parts of NOLA!

It seems to me if you don't want to go to famous places like Brennan's or Two Sisters for brunch, but eat at a regular place with really good food, and if you don't want to walk around the street with some huge drink concoction with a spriral straw in it, or you don't want to ride a carriage or do a ghost tour, and all those other typical New Orleans things. . .then why go? You can probably stay home and eat in nice restaurants and do mundane things. I would think the whole point of going to a New Orleans type place is to do the things they're famous for. Sure they're touristy -- but aren't you talking about being a tourist there?

There's one helluva difference, Patrick, between being a tourist and being a dumb tourist. I think it's appropriate for anyone to take the normal amount of precautions. And no one but you has said that those things you named are &quot;the&quot; things to do in New Orleans. I realize you were probably just trying to make a point, but there's a lot more to New Orleans than wandering around Bourbon Street in a drunken stupor or geeking out at a ghost tour. And New Orleans is certainly famous for a lot more than that.

The OP asked for things that were a waste of money, not too touristy. IMO, $50 half-hour carriage rides, over-priced restaurants living off their name and 2-bit museums are a waste of money. I can't say the same though about those big plastic drinks. If you're looking to catch a buzz, they will certainly do the trick (though I do prefer a more civilized Hurricane at Pat O'Brien's for a touristy drink).

Here's a thing that was not too touristy or expensive--take the St. Charles streetcar to the end and back. It was a great way to see some neighborhoods one afternoon, for only $1.25. Also another tourist trick is someone that comes up to you and asks you if you need a restaurant recommendation, then escorts you there (even when you've said thanks and goodbye) and waits for money. Needless to say we didn't go to the restaurant he steered us to! I did not get the whole chicory coffee thing--aack.

I would like to clarify my original post for everyone, but I'd first like to share a quick story that spurred it.

Prior to a trip to Los Angeles I read in the Fodor's guide book about a museum in Hollywood that contained the original Cheers set. I loved the tv show so I dragged my then girlfriend, soon to be wife, all the way there. It turned out to be a guided tour that was way too long and wouldn't let you move ahead or go back. It was a bad experience that could have been avoided if we had only spoken to someone that had gone before us.

It is my desire to not repeat this type of experience on our honeymoon. So if something is completely over-rated and a waste of time, I'd like to know about it. If something is worth visiting, but would be best avoided during a particular day or time of day, then that info would be helpful.

I totally want to be a tourist and experience the things that define NOLA. I'd also like to find out about some hidden treasures that locals care to share.

Your postings are helping me do my best to create a loose outline for our trip. So thanks for assisting me.

-Rob

I think some people feel like a tourist trap is worth their time while others think it is a waste. Touristy things that are fun in NOLA are:

1. Having a drink(hurricane or pick your poison at Pat O'Brien's)
2. Have a beignet at Cafe du Monde (yes it is a glorified funnel cake but so good and fun!)
3. Walk down Bourbon St. and order a drink to go.
4. Take a walking tour of the French Quarter or Garden District and check out some cemetaries along the way.)
5. Walk along Jackson Square.
6. I personally enjoyed my Sunday brunch at Court of Two Sisters, no it wasn't the best food in the world, but I loved my mimosa, laughing with good friends and hearing a jazz quartet in the background. This could probably be done at a number of different places.

I just looked at my random choice of parentheses. Not sure what I was thinking!

Things to avoid: 1) taking the street car mid-afternoon when school is letting out, 2) anyone who walks up to you on Bourbon Street and starts a conversation, and 3) walking too far off the beaten path after dark. I've been on the street car (from FQ to Audubon Zoo) and a gaggle of schoolchildren got on on our way back. I can best describe them as poorly behaved urchins - one of them knocked a tourist's bag out of her hands as she was exiting, and then laughed at her and mocked her. The rest of them were noisy like I've never heard before. It turned an interesting ride through the Garden District into a ride from hell.

As for the people on Bourbon Street, there are various scams to try to get money from you, several of which have been described already. I had someone try to clean my shoes (sneakers) and expect $5 for the service. If you're used to passing by panhandlers, etc. and ignoring their pleas, you'll be fine. If not, take lots of extra cash to blow, because they are aggressive.

You can generally walk up and down Bourbon Street and anywhere within a block on either side fairly safely at night because there are a fair number of police patrolling the area. Going outside that area is certainly doable, but I'd advise some caution and common sense. Getting really drunk and stumbling away from Bourbon St. is asking for trouble. FYI, there are many gay bars in the FQ. Straight bars end somewhere around the 600 block of Bourbon, and after that I think it's predominately gay. Feel free to visit them if you want, but some of them would probably shock you.

Or, not, if you've done <i>that</i> before. ROFLMFAO.
The gay bars are obvious once you notice the 20 rainbow flags about 20 feet in the air. We stayed on Bourbon about 3 blocks from them and the flags framed the street as you peer from the balcony towards the skyscrapers.

Staring at the revolving Carousel Bar might have been a better item &quot;not to miss&quot; on the list, except when we arrived, we were not in sync with the demographics of the crowd at that moment.

One year, Riverwalk (mall) was a great source of party/decor items with which to customize our rented apartment for our weeklong stay.

Sand volleyball light your fire? It's possible at

Polynesian Joe's -- 869 Magazine St., 525-9301 -- Daily drink specials, lunch buffet and sand volleyball court make this a great place to down a cold one. Opens at 11 a.m. daily.

A very interesting take on other's opinions of the city. Pick and choose what you want to, IMO! I think it's called River City Brewery...great place to have lunch and...while watching the city down below from the balcony. We just ate at Ralph and Kakoos(sp?),,,good food. Bourbon St. is a sight to behold, but there are more fabulous places away from it. Don't get me wrong, it is worth a night of bar-hopping and people watching! We loved the aquarium and the Steamship Natchez tour. Harrah's is fun...I loved the carriage tour, but we had 4 non-big people on it, so I didn't feel bad for the mule! I can't remember who we used, but we did go on a swam tour and had a ball! The alligator and the guide are so entertaining. Have fun! karen

typo.swamp, not swam tour! Ugh!

Rob, are you still looking for places to avoid? I'm going to vote, once more, for Cat's Meow on Bourbon - if you're there. Difficult to have a bad time there.

Avoid having the Ferdi Special at Mother's. I just didn't get what's so special about it.

Some people would tell you to avoid Mother's all together, but to me it worth visiting once for the &quot;atmosphere.&quot;

Congratulations and have a great trip!

I've haven't read all of the responses on this thread but as someone who grew up in New Orleans and visits regularly, here are my thoughts:

Brennans is expensive but awesome. The food is great and it is the most sinfully delicious breakfast - don't skip a morning cocktail (I like their brandy milk punch).

Love Mothers - worth the wait. I get the Debris - drippy and yummy.

Ghost Tours - fun for one time. Definitely hokey but dh and I still joke about the one we took 5 years ago.

Swamp Tours can be great if you take the right one. We did Airboat Adventures on a small boat with 6 people plus the guide. Really great. Very differnt then the swamp tour &quot;party boats&quot; that fit 30 people.

Carriage Rides - we did one for $16/person since there were already people on the carriage. It was worth $16, but $50 would have been a lot to pay.

My favorite restaurants are: cafe du monde, mothers, acme oysters, commanders, jacques imos, and central grocery for muffelettas

There is a free ferry we took to Blaine Kern's Mardi Gras World which we enjoyed as well.

BTW, we were told to try the Hurricanes at Jean Laffittes as they are made with real juice and Pat O'Briens now uses a mix/artificial flavors. I love Pat O'Briens, but the one we tried at Laffittes was REALLY strong!!

I am new to this board and having some difficulty posting in the correct place so bare with me. We have been told to go to a cooking school while in NO in October. Can anyone tell me which is the best and what to avoid.
Thanks

Have a beignet @ Cafe Beignet, not Cafe du Monde. Have a muffaletta from Central Grocery. Have a 'Hurricane' from Pat O'Brien's (you can get them to go) or a 'hand grenade' (that would be the big plastic thingy folks are talking about). Go to Dominiques &amp; have a great dinner at a place that no one knows about. The Court of 2 Sisters has gone downhill since they lost their batender several years ago but they still do the best tableside prep in NO. So, if you want a real Caesars Salad perpared tableside &amp; Banana's Foster for dessert, that is the place. Go to the Old Absinthe House &amp; have a drink by the fireplace (particularly if it is cold &amp; rainy). Go to Acme for lunch &amp; have a Dixie beer w/your oysters or red beans &amp; rice. Wander down Royal &amp; peek into all the galleries. Take the trolley out to the Universities &amp; visit the zoo. Patrick is right, do whatever you want. But most of all, have fun. This comes from a frequent NO visitor &amp; I'll be going back in December.

SAnParis, I have to disagree with you about the beignets. As a native New Orleanian and French Quarter resident, I would never recommend that a visitor to New Orleans automatically choose Cafe Beignet over Cafe du Monde. Cafe du Monde is the classic, the original, dating from the Civil War era. Cafe Beignet is a modern imitator, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But for me, the history and tradition of Cafe du Monde, with its extremely limited beignets-and-coffee menu, 24-hour-a-day service, and classic location right on Jackson Square -- with all the people-watching fun that goes along with that -- mean something and are part of the experience that I think of when I want beignets. I feel Cafe du Monde should definitely be one's first exposure to beignets. Personally, I wouldn't consider having beignets in the French Quarter anywhere other then Cafe du Monde, so naturally I have never been to Cafe Beignet. I can't tell you if their product is good, bad, or indifferent; of course, everyone is free to try them both and make his or her own decision as to which is preferable. However, to me, there isn't even a decision to make! It's Cafe du Monde all the way.

nolagirl - My opinion, the beignets are equal, but it is not worth the time nor the fight, to deal w/the mess that Cafe du Monde typically is. At Cafe Beignet (&amp; I am sure many other eateries) the beignets are just as good w/out the crowd. I would encourage you to try Cafe Beignet, Cafe du Monde I believe would fit into the 'tourist trap' category. Jackson Square IS a great place to hang out &amp; people watch but I typically do that on the Square itself. Speaking of...make sure you don't miss the street performers - the magicians, &amp; musicians are typically very good as well as the 'Showtime' troupe.

I definitely agree that at Cafe du Monde, one should avoid the times of the huge crowds, with massive lines of people waiting to get it. Go earlier or later: it'll be a mob scene at 10:00 a.m. on a Sunday. Actually, late night is an especially good time to hit Cafe du Monde. With that caveat, Cafe du Monde is not a tourist trap. Natives go there too! As I said, for me, getting beignets is about a lot more than just eating the beignets: it's the whole experience of Cafe du Monde. My parents used to take me there occasionally when I was a child, and it was always a huge treat to me. The beignets taste as unbelievably delicious to me now as they did then, and the whole scene is very much unchanged from the way it was when I was a child! (Just a thought: I wonder if most locals would not actually consider Cafe Beignet to be the tourist trap, since it is not the original. I have never thought of that before; I'll ask around! That's definitely the way I feel about it, regardless.)

I understand your attachment to Cafe du Monde &amp; to each their own. However, the crowd is enough to dissuade me, particularly when I can get a similar product &amp; actually enjoy it in relative peace. I also spend a lot of time @ Royal Tea &amp; not too many people seem to venture back there either, which is fine w/me when I am seeking a little peace &amp; quiet.

I've been to both, and IMHO, there's not a bad beignet or praline anywhere in NOLA!

BaltimoreRob, don't avoid ANY praline shop!

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I am wondering if you are re-considering visiting N.O. in light of the Hurricane Katrina situation. Best of luck to you.

If this hurricane is anything close to what they are talking about, it will take well over a year to rebuild the city from the devestation caused by Katrina.

The Fla panhandle still hasn't fully recovered from last year's storms. ((b))