Nicely stated Patrick!

You must not be reading your own post, Patick. I thought it was more than discouraging when the OP specifically requested a place where they would NOT feel out of place. How is your description of another couple similarly dressed being ridiculed as looking like someone who "got lost on the way to the prom" not discouraging? Do you think just because you stated you disagreed with the pov, that takes the onus off it?

The bottom line is people DON'T dress up anymore but

>while Rainbow Room may not be the best food in town, it's still a glam place for fancy dress and dancing.

>if you want a divine meal, any of the top French restaurants would be fine in formal wear

>opening night at the opera or ballet would be acceptable

mclaurie, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to lie or cover up. What I reported was true. As others said, much of it depends on your own attitude. And as I said "if that sort of thing bothers you". Why should we pretend that there won't be a handful of "jealous snotties" around smirking at those who are dressed formally. It's true. There will be. I don't consider giving the actual facts as discouragement, but why not let them know that in case they are overly sensitive, that is a distinct possiblility?

If someone asked about PerSe and I said it is very, very expensive, does that mean I'm discouraging them from going? Not at all. I just think it's smart to let people know all the possibilities.

Once again, here's my last paragraph:
"So although I personally think it's wonderful to dress for the opera or a special night, I feel it only safe to warn you that you are likely to get even more negative reactions (if that sort of thing bothers you) than if you were inappropriately underdressed."

I'm really sorry if that sounds like discouragement for someone doing what they want to do. Did you even notice that I specifically said "I think it's wonderful to dress for the opera or a special night"? I call that encouragement, not discouragement.

I'd sure hate for everyone here to say that "everyone will admire you for dressing up", and then having someone report back that they were embarrassed to tears that they overheard a remark about their getting lost going to the prom. Why hide facts and possibilities?

You could always crash a wedding or bar mitvah at chelsea pierss

I hear so many people complain that nobody "dresses up" anymore. If you feel inclined to wear a tux and gown, go for it. Maybe you'll start a new trend. I think it's a great idea.

Depending on one's age, one "problem" with going out in NYC dressed formally (when no one else is dressed accordingly) is looking like a kid on a prom date.

Sure, I wear a tux/suit/blazer/pants/shorts/swimsuit/ski jacket when it's appropriate, but I don't when it's not.

Now before anyone pitches a hissy fit, I'm not "discouraging" formal attire, I'm just suggesting that one tread carefully, pick the right opportunity, and consider one's motivations and expectations.

Agreed.

Thanks for all the opinions everyone. Much appreciated.

There is a huge difference between just a dark suit and a tux.

I can;t tell you the last time I saw the latter - except at a wedding or a charity gala.

A dark suit and a great little black dress - that you can wear to any decent restaurant - although god only knows what some of the other diners will be wearing. (I've seen sweats - as in the exercise kind - in some places for dinner. Aaagg!)