New York - formal night out
 

my girlfriend and I will be in NY and wanted to do something where we could get dressed up in a tux and formal dress.Anyone have any suggestions where we could go and not feel out of place? I know the Rainbow Room has a formal dancing night where that dress code is appropriate, but I've heard some mixed reviews on that. thank you.

The days of tuxes and ball gowns for an evening out are long gone here in NY (unless, of course, you're going to a black-tie benefit). Perhaps... perhaps... at the Rainbow Room you wouldn't feel out of place. Can't think of any other.

The only places I see tuxes and ball gowns are charity events (at $25,000 a table). If you're willing to go for a tux and dinner gown (versus full ball gown with jewelry) you might get away with it at the opening of the Opera or ballet season. Or - the Tonys or similar.

People just don;t dress that way anymore in the city.

About 10 years ago we went to the Rainbow Room for dinner and dancing and people were very dressed up -- evening dresses for the ladies and dark suits or tuxes for the men. BUT it was just before Christmas and maybe a more 'dressy' season. Also, as I say, it was 10 years ago. I don't know what it would be like now.

I wish people still did dress up for things like that.

Charity events, weddings, *maybe* a private New Year's Eve party. Other than that, I think you will not find an opportunity to wear a tux and a formal gown.

well, thx for the notes

An opening night at the opera or ballet is another option. If you want to find out about charity events, some of which might be affordable, look at the calendar on newyorksocialdiary.com

But frankly, if you guys are self confident, you could go to ANY nice restaurant in formal wear and not get stares in NYC. Daniel & L'Atelier de Joel Robuchon both have outstanding food and wouldn't blink an eye is you came dressed to the nines. But the Rainbow Room is more of an event with live band and dance floor. I'd give it a try.

At my last attendance at the Metropolitan Opera (not an opening night), I noticed a young couple (maybe college age) beautifully dressed in nice tux and full length evening gown. I thought that was so nice compared to the horrible casualness of so many other attendees. But I was shocked to overhear two middle aged woman laughing at them and saying "looks like someone got lost on the way to the prom". Then I immediately noticed others looking at them and making knowing little glances and smirking at them as well.

So although I personally think it's wonderful to dress for the opera or a special night, I feel it only safe to warn you that you are likely to get even more negative reactions (if that sort of thing bothers you) than if you were inappropriately underdressed.

Believe it or not, I've seen people formally dressed at various Broadway Shows. Don't see it often, but I have occasionally...If you want to do, then just do it...or as suggested go to a charity event.

Get married in NYC!

La Grenouille is the last of the old guard classic French restaurants. Many a time I have dressed in a tux and my wife in a gown for dinner. We would be on our way to the Met or a formal party.
I highly recommend La Grenouille. The decor is stunning and the Dover Sole is the best in the city.
Will

It is too bad that people don't dress up much anymore - some can barely manage finding a pair of dress shoes let alone a tux! But, if you really want to do it, and make a special evening, why not? If La Grenouille is appropriate and you are interested I would make a reservation. If anyone snickers or points & laughs at you on your way into the restaurant it is probably because you made them realize that they look like a slob and now THEY are uncomfortable!

I live in NYC and have to agree that people don't dress that way anymore. You may see a couple in Bouley, for example, where the woman is wearing a beautiful, long dress and shawl, but the man is in a suit, not a tux. The couple doesn't look out of place, although most diners in that type of restaurant will be in business attire.

I vote for the Rainbow Room. Yes, it is over-priced, but the views and art deco details are lovely. It truly feels like you are stepping into another era. As a bonus, the Cipriani's invented the bellini and the ones served at the Rainbow Room are the best in town.

The food and service at the Rainbow Room are average at best.

As I said above, my Rainbow Room experience was ages ago. Perhaps it's changed now but at that time, the menu was not very interesting and the food not very good.

BUT it was the Rainbow Room at Christmastime and the evening was magical!

Not sure they still do it, but when the Queen Mary started sailing to NY they'd host overnight stays on the ship. Not sure what they do now as the boat now departs from Brooklyn.

We attended the Met last night for the season premiere of Barber of Seville--love that production. If you are not wedded to the tux idea and would consider a nice suit or dress jacket and your gf would be OK with a cocktail dress--then I think you would certainly be in line with how many of the guests were dressed. Regardless, there were a few couples in tux and formal dress, which seemed appropriate for a Saturday evening performance especially in orchestra seating.

You'll see tuxes at Le Cirque fairly often. Don't listen to the posters who want to discourage you. Cafe Carlyle or Feinstein's would be a nice after-dinner destination. I say forget what the majority of New Yorkers wear and dress up. I applaud you.

"Don't listen to the posters who want to discourage you."

Doug, with all due respect, I'm not sure what you're referring to. I just went back over this entire thread and I could not find a single poster who tried to discourage them from dressing up. The closest was a reference to "people just don't dress that way in the city any more" which is true, but hardly seems a total discouragement from doing so. But over and over above nearly everyone has said, "if you want to do it, then do it".