this is amanda, i am back. The reason that i took so long to return is because the servants that harvest our 9 million acre zanzibarian vineyard died of the plague and i was left to harvest the grapes of wrath all alone..and my husband could not help because his ferrari broke down on the curved highway that leads to our hilltop moorish villa, but not to worry, i shall pick him up in our helicopter parked on the roof. all of your suggestions have been so Elpful and my father-in-law, Bill Gates will see to it that you are all compensated handsomely. well, its off to the vineyard where my houseguests, oprah winfrey and pope john paul II ( ever heard of them) are waiting for me to give them a tour while riding our championship arabian horses. <BR>ISNT IT SAD HOW SOME PEOPLE INVENT THIS IMAGE OF THEMSELVES JUST TO IMPRESS OTHERS. -Amado in Oakland, CA

It's easy to be polite in America. Women should be naked and blow any guy that asks.

Not all women should be naked.

So, reviewing the bids, I'm not clear on whether I wasted my time or not ... I suppose that's probably my usual raection on Fodor's US these days. If Amanada is coming, and I hope she is, then I wish her welcome. But I must say it really is more interesting, satisfying on the European, Asian, etc. postings. Have a good day, and ciao.

L, you are part of the problem on all of the forums. Fora.

Now, Exxexx, or Fora, that was kinda unkind. And untrue, or at least I like to think so. Have a nice day, and ciao.

hello. <BR> <BR>the reason i have not posted in some time is because like most people i have have a job and a life!!!! i do not sit at my computer and wait at this forum for replies to my post. i appreciate those who have given me advice. but to those who have sat there and called me a "troll" i just have to, as we say in Tanzania, "get a life!" ( of course it is in Swahilli) over the weekend i did post quite a few times but that was only because i was in a very boring meeting and on an airplane coming to and from japan. i still could use any helpful ideas. note to "pris" that one post about the dresses was very funny. <BR> <BR>thank you <BR>amanda

Don't worry about propiety Amanda, the Kennedy's never have. <BR>

Amanda, <BR>Good lying is done subtly. Your approach is very sloppy, dare I say, a shame to our net genre. Lying on the net, or reinventing ones life as we in the net lying industry prefer to call it, takes a lot of practice, but being one of the charter members of the club, I offer you some advice on the house.My pearl of wisdom to you, dear, sweet Amanda is that you try not mention recent "trips" to more than 3 continents within the last 2 weeks, its quite basic. And one more free tip, Upper East Manhattan?, Marthas Vineyard? TOO DIRECT, the way to come off believable is to say that your traveling to New York and your husband tells you that his parents live east of Central Park, we then being the travelers that we are will automatically figure out that its the Upper East Side. Were it true that you just got back from a " business trip" to "japan", you dont just come right out and say it, no matter how delicous the lie sounds in your head, people are smarter than that, and on this website, trickery is best left to the pros, so I suggest you turn off your computer and clean up your room or something, and then come back to Fodordom re-incarnated as the long lost Princess of some obscure european river valley. You know, the valley next to the forest of Baron Armstrong Wong. <BR>Hugs and Kisses, <BR>Elizabeth II, <BR>Queen of England

get a life queen!!! how do you know if she is lying or not? i myself have been to two diffrent contenents in the past week and to about 10 diff. countries. so get a life she is just fine! <BR>J

Look Amanda, Jonathan, George W, whoever your going to return as next( WINK). Maybe you should go help set the table for dinner and help your mom in the kitchen instead of trying to come up with all these new personalities. But I do give you points for multiple personalities-keep up the good work. <BR>Smooches, <BR>Jesse the Body Ventura <BR>AKA Former Queen

okay let me get this straight i am amanda too. wow i am more talented than i thought!!! and you said i can be the prez. too? you are nice!!! just go get laid! and amanda sorry about this, you will do fine. not all americans are this bitchy. <BR>johnathan <BR>

So, Amanda, how about a thoughtful response in French, your native language?? Or tell us "get a life" in Swahili--be careful there are those of us out here who will know if you're speaking correctly. Otherwise, follow the instructions above and help your mom set the table for dinner. In short, it's a dead horse, leave it alone.

You people who fell for this weak troll post ought to be embarrassed and ashamed. <BR>Especially you "xxx", lambasting those who figured this one out from the beginning. <BR>Feeling a little sheepish now? <BR> <BR>Want some more proof that this is a troll post? What imbecile (with a PhD no less) doesn't know how to spell the native language in their home? ("Swahilli"...uh uh...it's Swahili). <BR>And one week she lives in Zanzibar, the next Tanzania. <BR>And one week she can barely write in English (though she supposedly wrote a doctoral thesis at Oxford in English...yeah right, puhllleaaasse!) and the next she's using US catch phrases like 'get a life'....a phrase totally out of character from previous writings. <BR> <BR>To those who are still buying off on this nonsense: please write to me. I'm collecting money for an IPO for my new company Fools'R'Us.com

trollbait and liar2liar seem to need new hobbies and/or a job - how long have you two now spent attempting to prove amanda is an imposter and that you will not be fooled? this is bordering on ridiculous. no, wait, you two stepped over the line into bizarre about two days ago...let this thread die already! aack! i can't believe i've been dragged into this absurdity!

Like getajob I can't believe I'm in this but I must say amanda is fooling no one when she said that someone's inlaws must be "laid back" how colloquial. Also she suddenly moved from Zanzibar to Tanzania? What's with that? Let's cut her loose and find something else to do. Don't make me come back!

ummmmm zanzibar is in Tanzinia people. <BR>gotcha

Yeah that's like me going on and on about my ranch in CA and then suddenly saying I was returning to the US. Not likely. Amanda's last post was so totally different from that fake original post that it's just laughable.

Excuse me Getanosejob, Liar2Liar has only posted 2 responses to our damsel in distress, the dainty " Amanda" from Zanzibar. Besides, He/She is the real sap in need of a life.

I had a good time reading all the posts... Amanda, you were sooo busted!

I think I shall remember all your names ... so that I may stay well clear of you in the future. This is possibly the strangest, more unoriginal group of veggies and fruitcakes I've come across on Fodor's. Leaving this thread reminds me of walking out of either a garden or an orchard. Yes, now we know, there are indeed things worse than trolls. I'd wish you a good day, but I'm uncertain you're capable. Ciao

What's your problem, L? You were suckered by this thread, and rather than admit it, you lash out at the people who figured it out earlier? You're normally so nice. Why so bitter about this?

I think the reason most people had a problem with this thread and the reason I stayed away from it until now, is that it seemed strange, pompous, and unnecessary for "Amanda" to focus so much on the "high society bragging" of herself and her in-laws. If she had just stated simply that she is non-American and meeting her American in-laws for the first time, and had asked some pointers about our culture, I think she would have gotten much more civilized and helpful advice/comments. Really, what WAS the reason for mentioning things like the plantation, her in-laws being a well known family, etc? That was purely for show, in my opinion. I thought this was a made up original post and still think so. But if not, hopefully you've learned a thing or two, Amanda, about how to approach such situations in the future.

Well, abc, you make a good point. I'm still nice, really, LOL. I'm not lashing out, although it must sound that way. And honestly, I don't feel suckered in the least. Call me totally "duh", but I'm still not convinced it was a troll. I may very well be wrong, of course, and if that's true, I can assure you it will be the 1,000th time (at least). So, no, not an ego thing. I believe what bothered me was the tone of the thread, the fact that it just went on and on. It seemed that things had gone so downhill that it was embarrassing to watch everyone pile on. I was simply separating myself from the herd. So, not bitterness, at least I hope not. Anyway, thanks for the feedback ... I am going to rethink my approach and redouble the better part of my personality. Ciao

I always knew you were a class act, L!

Not familiar with the manners of your culture? I think that respect and graciousness are basic manners that transcend all cultures. Even though Amanda might be making up her story, <BR>we could all take this a chance to reflect on how we as americans treat each other. The rat race has never been so fast and it surprises me just how good and bad people can be.

I am not going to spend my time trying to figure out if someone is a troll. But I can imagine my Indian relatives (I'm European-American, but my husband's parents immigrated from India before he was born) having some of the same questions upon their first visit to the U.S., even though they may be highly educated and speak English as well as I do (and who would know some of the American/English colloquialisms, but probably not all). <BR> <BR>So, assuming Amanda is in the same boat as they could be... <BR> <BR>I don't know the customs regarding greetings in Zanzibar, but Americans vary greatly in how they great each other, including relatives. Some hug, others also kiss upon meeting. If they are leaving each other for a long time (say, returning to Zanzibar), the same would apply. Probably more physical contact than the British, less than the Italians. If they sense that you are uncomfortable with hugging, they probably will not hug you. A "welcome gift" is always nice but is not expected; a small item for any member of your husbands' family that you're staying with. Something distinctive of Zanzibar would be nice. <BR> <BR>The Americans will probably be quite curious about you and your life, but probably will not bring up extremely personal questions upon first meeting you (i.e., when are you going to have kids). Any genuine questions from you regarding how American culture works would be well-recieved, and would be a good way to "speak up". <BR> <BR>As I'm sure you're aware, American culture is not as conservative as muslim (or Indian) cultures in matters of dress for women. At the dressier events, women will wear dresses, probably sleeveless, usually fitted (though not necessarily). At the beach, shorts will be the norm. In the circles it sounds like you'll be in, the clothing will not be too sexy or revealing (I know that's a subjective comment), i.e., no very low-cut necklines, bare midriffs or real tight skirts. <BR> <BR>Feel free to e-mail me with any additional questions. <BR>

Anyone with class and breeding does not need to brag about homes, plantations, education etc. They are quite unassuming and modest.

Well, I was going away and leave well enough alone, and I should have, but fool that I am, I saw that last bit of advice, from the perspective of the east indian culture, and it left me weak on my feet (I am currently typing this on my knees). I can imagine the women on this thread rolling their eyes. I have so many choice, I do mean choice, reactions to convey ... but will spare you. But do allow me just to comment on U.S. hugging for anyone fresh to our shores. It can range in motion and angle from the A-frame method to the pelvis-to-pelvis, really, really glad to see 'ya maneuver. And various twitches in between. This thread is just ... well, time to go away. I leave laughing!! This has been fun, I think. Ciao

What the heck, to the top!

amanda, where in New hampshire is the house. I know the areaa and state very well.

Amanda,
Just be yourself; your husband loves you for you and so will his family. Don't worry about being proper; maybe your husband can give you a few pointers but be natural. Good luck:-)

Considering Amanda has had almost 4 years to brush up on American culture, I hope she passed with flying colors.

Just read this post from top to bottom for the first time - hilarious - you guys are the best

Given the time difference between America and Africa - &quot;Amanda&quot; clearly stays up all night writing on Fodor - quite a woman with alll this international travelling to do!
Great fun

Faina, I'm more interested in how on earth you found this almost 6 year old thread. What were you searching when you found it? Zanzibaris? Looney Tunes? Manners?

By the way, this should be kept at the top for those who think that &quot;recently&quot; people are being rude here, or that troll posts and troll busting are a new thing.

It may be an old post but it is still funny! A great post to top for April Fools day. Thanks :)

ttt ... and Russia was fab!! Thanks to all who helped.