I've lived in California all my life and skeptically thought this was a "troll" post for sure!

I live in a tiny town in Central Coastal California and you would be welcomed here!

Okay, then. As an Atlantan I will agree with the other Atlantan who have posted already and say Atlanta and the suburban area around it will be more than tolerant of an inter-racial couple that Sooshi describes. In the "boonies" of the state of Georgia there are military bases and the surrounding communities are very tolerant of inter-racial couples of all types. I can not think of an area in Georgia where Sooshi and her husband would not be tolerated (her words). She would feel welcomed (her words) in Atlanta and the metro area.

MikeT., thanks for your thoughts. I see what you're saying.

I have to agree with Starrsville as far as my perceptions go. I lived in Atlanta from 1972-2003, and am returning soon. In my opinion, Sooshi would run into even less trouble as part of an Asian/white couple. I did not read her second post that spelled this out, my mistake.

Would Sooshi potentially run into some problems in deep South Georgia? I truly doubt it but the possibility is greater than in the huge Atlanta metro area that seems to sprawl wider every year. Starrsville mentioned the military bases and those areas do tend to be much more diverse.

I will admit it, I'm biased. I like Atlanta! But I want Sooshi to find a place that fits her family's needs best and it could turn out to be a totally different place.

Sorry, Starrsville, there may be a lot of tolerance in Atlanta, but only to a point.

Actually, a relative of mine is involved in an inter-racial relationship in Atlanta. She reports that African-American couples, or interracial couples, experience some hostility when they tour houses for sale in the wealthy northwest Atlanta suburbs.

The perception is that they cannot afford the (comparatively) expensive new housing, and are touring the houses for entertainment, hence wasting the salesman's time.

Another disturbing indicator for Atlanta is the reluctane of the wealthy northwestern suburbs to allow the MARTA transit system to expand into their areas. Presumably for fear of the Atlanta "riff-raff" who will flood their Caucasian communities.

i live just beyond the suburbs of atlanta (southwest) and am one-half of an interracial marriage (caucasian male, japanese female) and we've never had any difficult times inside or outside of the city (we did live in midtown for a number of years before this most recent relocation)--like many have said there's much less of a taboo for asian/caucasian mixes...

that said, i would think you would have more ideas for moving other than just "racially tolerant" so its pretty difficult to say whether atlanta (or any city listed for that matter) could meet your needs--pluses and minuses for every place obviously, but to answer your main question i doubt you'd see much problem, at least as far as adults go...raising children could be another matter, particularly in the suburbs, and i can't help you much on that right now but i'll be starting my detailed analysis in approximately 5 months and 2 days...

Hey xtb- I live in that "wealthy northwest area" in Atlanta. We are good friends with a inter-racial couple in our neighborhood. He's Asian, she's causcasian. They and their children haven't encountered any racism in Atlanta. Their children attend Chinese school on Saturdays, along with many other mixed race children. They are very happy here.

I also have know many real estate agents in the area, and they complain about people of all races who tour homes for sale in our area, who have no intention of buying them but just want to see inside. It's not a black/white thing. If your friends are touring houses for sale without an agent, there's a perception that they are just lookers, and that perception would occur even if they were Rhett and Scarlett O'Hara.

Finally, Marta goes through Buckhead. The Cobb County Transit goes all over Cobb County. There is public transportation throughout northwest Atlanta. The Cobb and Marta systems aren't linked because Cobb taxpayers don't want to pay for the expensive Marta system. It's a money issue, not a "riffraff" issue.

Xbt, I have a question for you. Do you live in Atlanta or have you ever lived here? Did your friend personally experience this hostility you're talking about? What exactly happened? I would truly like to know because that disturbs me. What city would you nominate for Sooshi?

I'm also confused by the fact that in one post you say that posters are off track by posting about African-American/Caucasian couples because she is in an Asian/Caucasian couple, and then you yourself post about how poorly you think African-Americans and African-American/Caucasian couples are treated. This seems like a contradiction to me.

Setting the issue (or non-issue) of an inter-racial marriage aside, I think there's sooooo many other more important things to consider in deciding where you want to live.

In my experience, the Pacific Northwest (west of the mountains in Oregon or Washington) is consistently more liberal, mellow, and laid-back than "back east" or "down south". I also have very fond feelings for California but it's so darn expensive in most of the places I'd want to be. Personally there's no way I'd live in the state of Georgia, Atlanta or elsewhere.

1. Suze, why would you think it worth saying that you disapprove of an entire state? Are you incapable of imagining how it would sound if someone were to say, "oh, personally, I'd never live THERE," about your own state? Wouldn't your first question be, "why?" and your second, "don't you think that's a wild generalization?"

2. Suze, aren't you lucky you have a choice? Remember that if you ever find yourself in a situation where you don't.

Oh, heck, Cassandra. We don't want her down here!

Seriously, my closest friends living in Seattle, Portland and one builiding a retirement home on Bainbridge have all lived here AND there and love aspects of both. I WAS surprised at suze's remark, but am glad someone that close-minded stays up there. We don't need people with that attitude here.

Seabrook, MD, my hometown. It's affordable, too. About ten miles east of Washington, DC.

It's not an insult. And I have no problem with people who don't care to live in my area. Different people are comfortable in different regions.

In my experience, people who (yes are lucky enough to) have a choice of where they live gravitate to certain regions. My friends in New England love it there. Native New Yorkers who wouldn't live anywhere else. Californians love their state dearly. I have a preference for coastal cities and wouldn't live in the mid-west. That doesn't mean it is an insult to those people or the entirely of states that make up the interior of the U.S.

The point I was attempting to make is even after Sooshi narrows down places that will be accepting of her marriage... there are many other factors to consider about what makes a place the right choice for each person.

Here's a funny story:

My parents lived in Ohio and planned on staying there for the rest of their lives. When I was 2 or 3, they drove through Georgia to go to Callaway Gardens for golf. We drove through one particular little town and my mother reportedly said (I quote): "I would NEVER live in a place this small! No way!"

Well, low and behold, three years later, my father was told he had to take a tranfer to the very SAME little town outside of Atlanta or lose his job. He took the transfer and my mother held her tongue. We moved and she now says she doesn't think she'd want to move back unless her father's health declined and she had to.

That said, I can understand why some people don't like some areas. And that includes Atlanta. We all have our likes and dislikes. I enjoyed my visit to Phoenix some years ago but I wouldn't want to live there simply because I like a lot of trees. That doesn't make Phoenix a bad place, it just isn't for me. However, if my husband HAD to move there for his job, I'd have to reconsider. You never know what life is going to hand you.

I'm going to shut up now because I'm sure Sooshi is sick of me getting off the subject.

I'm with suze here. Can't live somewhere that would lead to the pains of soy sauce withdrawal. :)

Can't bring up a kid that will miss out on one of the primary joys of life: real Mexican soft tacos, a touch of Salvadoran exotica in an out-of-the-way San Mateo restaurant, Peruvian cuisine by candlelight, or a gift of homemade goodies from an Argentinian neighbor... and that's just for south of the border food!

How could you bring up your children without letting them sample genuine Japanese sushi, eat only the insides of a sesame ball at Chinese dimsum, slobber all over a bowl of hainan chicken with rice or a bowl of vietnamese pho noodles? HOW COULD YOU??? :`(

We just had the most marvellous Italian pasta last night...oh, well, back to wondering which country's food we should have for lunch...

Interestingly Cassandra & starrsville illustrate my point about personalities of a region. I don't want to live in their state and they are insulted and up-at-arms defending it.

Someone says "I don't want to live in Seattle, it rains too much" I would say "yes you probably would not be happy here". No offence taken.

Easytraveler, why in the world would you think your kid could not enjoy those dishes in Atlanta, GA? Geez!

Suze - How about you clue us all in on why you would never live anywhere in the state of Georgia? There is really "no way?" The entire state is that horrible? Even if you were offered $20 million to move to Georgia you would still say no?

I think if the reason you didn't want to live there was because it rained too much, folks from that area wouldn't be offended. However that is not what you implied. If I'm mistaken, correct me. Why wouldn't you live in Georgia? Perhaps your explanation will clear things up.

suze, may I point out the obvious?

>>Someone says "I don't want to live in Seattle, it rains too much"<<

A reason is given. No offense taken.


>> Personally there's no way I'd live in the state of Georgia, Atlanta or elsewhere.<<

No reason given. No discussion of the merits or pros and cons of the location. Simply a statement based on (some unknown) bias and DESIGNED to be offensive.

suze, If you think your statement about not living in Georgia wasn't inflammatory, how about you start your own thread with your little non offensive quip as the title?

I don't think Cassandra lives in Georgia.

:-) snowrooster!

We were typing the same thing at the same time.

I checked some of suze's other posts and her Atlanta/Georgia statement is par for the course. She would only live in a city. There is only one way to do something, etc.

She is not a very good commercial for the Pacific NW when Sooshi is looking for an "open-minded" city that is "tolerant".

If suze is the norm and I was looking for what Sooshi is looking for, I'd avoid suze's location (wherever she might be living at the time) at ALL costs! Her comments on this thread have been the opposite of open-minded and tolerant.

Too funny. The great thing about our country is you live where you want to live WITHOUT having to justify why.


If someone desires not to live in georgia, who cares. That is thier business for whatever reason.

All the money in the world could not keep me in Oklahoma.

"If someone desires not to live in georgia, who cares. That is thier business for whatever reason."

Sure it is, until they post it in a public forum. Then they open themself up to others to question their reasoning.

Come on ahnold, you're slipping.

snowrooster, offer me $20 million...I'll go where you tell me!

I live in rural Georgia and love it...would I want to live in Atlanta?...well, I would live there but rather not fight that traffic every day

...And they don't even need to give a reason snowrooster. Until we start to ship people off to the likes of siberia,no need to know why.

Ask me why I wouldn't live in Oklahoma.

I wouldn't live in Georgia or in Florida or in a great swatch of the US because it's too humid for me. Every time I get off the plane in some Eastern cities, I feel like someone just wrapped me in a warm, muggy blanket. It's too stifling. But that's just my choice - I hope I'm entitled to that opinion - ??

starrsville: if you can find that kind of food in Atlanta, all the more power to you! I can't. Maybe you can list some of the restaurants so that the next time I'm in Atlanta, I can sample Atlanta's international fare.

suze: I like your easygoing West Coast style! :)

I find that most cities that are in a Major college town are very tolerant. I grew up with Michigan State Univ. in my back door. I have been there since the 70's, and anything goes and always have.

I have since moved to the Metro Detroit area, but go home to my parents frequently and it is very liberal and tolerant.

ahhnold...why wouldn't you live in Oklahoma?

Because;-)

easytraveler,
Here's a sampling from last year's Best of Atlanta category winners -

Dim Sum - Canton - Buford Highway
Japanese - Soto - Piedmont Rd
Korean - Hae Woon Dae - Buford Hwy
Vietnamese - Nam - Monroe Drive
Chinese - Pung Mie - Buford Hwy
Thai - Nan - Spring St.
Mexican - Taqueria la Oaxaquera - Jonesboro
Cuban - Las Palmeras - 5h St.
Tapas - Pura Vida - heavily influenced by Puerto Rico - N. Highland
Indian - Madras Saravana Bhavan - Decatur
Middle Eastern - Olive Bistro (strong Israeli influence - Euclid Ave

Seafood - Kyma - Buckhead Life Rest. Group's homage to Greek cuisine with seafood flown in fresh from the Mediterreanean -

Soul Food - Red's Tasty Express - Sweet Auburn Curb Market
French - Joel - James Beard award nominee Joel Antunes - Northside Parkway
Best Expense Account Lunch - Brasserie le Coze (French) - Lenox Square

Thanks for being willing to consider we eat more than cracklin' cornbread in buttermilk or fried chicken!

Oh, Best Fried Chicken - Chef Scott Peacock, James Beard nominee @ Watershed, Decatur (fried chicken on Tuesday nights only)

Watershed is also "Best Sunday Brunch"

jeez! You guys can really go off on a tangent.
Shooshi - I can't imagine an asian female with a caucasian male being an issue ANYWHERE in the USA in this day and age. Just choose where you want to live, you'll be fine.

Given that Sooshi has already indicated that she has indeed experienced racial incidents in the US, it seems a little unreasonable to state that it wouldn't be a problem anywhere.

That said, I'd guess that most places would have similar tolerance levels to interracial couples/children. You will find bigotted idiots anywhere, and most people will be accepting.

Well I am truly sorry I got involved in this one past the original question. There are many states I enjoy, where I feel most at home, and others I have seen but do not appeal to me. Some people like the beach some people don't. Big deal.

When I first opened this thread I thought it was a troll for certain:)

Sooshi, sorry I didn't see this thread until now. My husband is half Philipino and half caucasian, and I am well, I am caucasian with all Italian ancestry.

We live in Las Vegas and are very happy here. We've never experienced any racial comments and it never crossed my mind for years until we ate at a restaurant in a small town in FL and realized my spouse was the only person in the whole place that wasn't caucasian.

There is a large asian community that has moved here from CA. Any questions you can ask, either on this board or through my email. Housing has gone up, a starter home would be about 200k now bur still affordable. Good luck on your decision.

starrsville: thanks for your generosity in sharing Atlanta's best! :)

Sooshi: maybe it's not so much the open or closed mind of an entire city, but the ethnic composition that you are looking for. As travelinwifey has indicated maybe you wouldn't feel like a sore thumb sticking out if you find a community that has more Asians in it. Just a thought.

Wow, I didn't realize that there was a lively discussion going on here. Fodorites have strong opinions! :)

easytraveler, do you live in Sacramento? You make me want to move to where you are just so that I can taste the food you mentioned! :D starrsville, I should keep your restaurant list for my next visit to Atlanta.

Anyway, I didn't mean to create a stir with my question. I know that some people on this board have lived in different parts of the country and was just curious if they've noticed a noticeable difference in the residents' attitude toward things that are not mainstream such as inter-racial marriage.

We've got a couple cities in mind now, so we'll visit them soon and then finally pack it up. I am excited about what the future holds!

Thank you and peace to all~ ((R))

Atlswan, you posted ...

"Xbt, I have a question for you. Do you live in Atlanta or have you ever lived here? Did your friend personally experience this hostility you're talking about? What exactly happened? I would truly like to know because that disturbs me. What city would you nominate for Sooshi?"...

I don't know if my niece or her partner personally experienced this hostility, but it seems to be a common perception that African-Americans are assumed to be impoverished.

As for the Northwestern Atlanta suburbs rejecting the expansion of MARTA, that is well documented. The racial connotation is obvious, although no one will openly admit it.

Where should Sooshi and her husand live? In all fairness, Atlanta is as good a place as any... every city in America has its ethnic problems, maybe less so in the Pacific Northwest with its more homogenous populations.

Bear in mind that "Asian" is not a race... The continent contains people of every race. Describing someone as "Asian" is not a clue to their physical appearance.

<maybe less so in the Pacific Northwest with its more homogenous populations>

The cities here have a more diverse ethnic mix than the countryside. As do locations west vs. east "of the mountains" in both states.

Sooshi,

Good luck with your choice. Moving is always a difficult decision. All I ask is you let us know what you decide. As you can see by the number of posts, we all are interested.

Xtb, thank you for answering my questions. I appreciate that.

Concerning the MARTA issue, you're right that both Cobb and Gwinnett have refused it. I tend to agree that they probably did it for the reasons you gave. The thing is, people of many different ethnic backgrounds (including minorities) have come into those two counties regardless of MARTA. So both Cobb and Gwinnett had to come up with some type of public transportation (buses) anyway.

As for having MARTA come into these counties now, I think the argument would be more due to the fact MARTA is clearly poorly managed. They are constantly in the red and raise fares often. They've cut bus service in some neighborhoods that have had it for years, too. Meanwhile, from what I've read, at least the Cobb bus system seems to be run pretty well and is not in the red. It adds more routes every year.

HI, Sooshi:

I live in the South Bay, but went to school at UC Davis for awhile (long ago!).

If you are looking at Sacramento, I'd suggest looking at other nearby towns instead. LoveItaly's Vacaville is a possibility. Closer to SF are the communities of Benicia, Vallejo, Crockett, etc. where real estate has not yet skyrocketed to the stratosphere.

Or east of Sacramento in the foothills are many lovely communities.

I wouldn't live in Sacramento or anywhere in the Central Valley because of the heat, although you could grow your own cantaloupes in your own backyard and any number of other wonderful produce! :)

If you do visit the Bay Area during your search, email me and I'll take you to any local cuisine of your choice:

[email protected]

Good luck on your search and, as LDLee has indicated, curous Fodorites would want to know what your final choice will be! :)