Isn't travelling better than going to college?
 

Hi. I graduated from high school this year, and I am supposed to go to college near home. I want to take a year or two off and travel with my boyfriend maybe in Euorope or around this country. My parents say no but I'm 18 and have my own money so I can kind of do what I want. Every body here knows alot about travel, so how can I get my mom and dad to see that travelling would be a good thing for me right now. I might never get another chance and my boyfriend isn't going to college so he can help make sure I'll be safe while I'm travelling.

Here is a question for all of you folks complaining about limited vacation time: <BR> <BR>When you accepted the job you are currently doing, did you ask for two unpaid weeks vacation as part of the package? Or did you offer to decrease your salary or benefits in exchange for more vacation time? <BR> <BR>I didn't think so. So before we ask the government to get involved, people should assume a little responsibility for their own job situation, particularly given the shortage of good labor.

Sorry Melissa. I meant to post this under the vacation time thread. Darn Fodor's software glitch.

In a word NO. As a retired college professor, I have seen students who went places and saw in ignorance. A student once asked me "Who was this Louis guy who lived at Versailles and why did he have such a big house?" I spend a year as a student in Europe, and got in my share of wandering. But I also got in my share of book work, too. <BR>Look at it this way, if travel is to be broadening, it needs an informed traveler as a base from which to operate and have its effect. On the other hand, if you absolutely do not want to go to college, then you would be wasting your time and money because you would not do the work it takes to get a first rate education. Moreover, I don't think you get a first rate education simply by bumming around. One thing is for certain, not many firms will offer you a high paying job just because you have traveled. On the other hand, well educated, well focused students with limited travel experience get jobs that pay very well. I know because I taught them for 30 years. I also know that it is very difficult to get a professional level job these days without a strong educational foundation. True, unemployment is said to be low in this country, but many of the jobs pay poorly and involve little, if any, intellectual challenge. On the other hand, if you have your own money, perhaps you don't need to worry about employment. At least not until the money runs out. <BR>If you are sitting on $500,000 you could live a long time on $30,000 a year without digging itno the principal, assuming you don't need a major hospital stay, which can chew up $70,000 in about a week. <BR> <BR>As for not getting another chance -- balderdash. I am doing more now than ever before, and I have taken major trips every year since 1983, and several before that.

Well, Melissa, if your question is legitimate, I'd have to say either go to college or get a job and take a few weeks off to travel. <BR>There are a lot of angles to your question: most importantly, how mature are you? Naive? Street wise? Responsible? Desiring to travel to avoid doing something you're not motivated to do (college) or because you really want to travel (I'm guessing some of the former is involved). <BR>If you have travelled a good deal with your parents, especially far from home, are very responsible, mature for your age, street wise, and determined to use this time as a growing experience to enhance your world view, I'd let you go as a parent. I will quickly add that I believe very few kids graduating from high school fit all these criteria. <BR>Examine yourself and your motives. <BR>

Yes, if you want to have the most fun today. <BR> <BR>However no, if you want the best you can get out of the rest of your life. That is your choice, believe me and don't complain later. <BR> <BR>If you have your own money, buy some land and build a house. It will be a start of your nest and it will always shelter you when your boy friend is long gone. Which he will be most likely as this is the norm. It is the way of males. The most important thing at this point in your life is to invest in yourself. Your boy friend cannot help you here. If he says otherwise don't believe him. <BR> <BR>

Agree with Bob. You need more education before you can really appreciate what you see while traveling. If you're just looking to have fun, you can do that anywhere. P.S. Spelling counts.

I am sorry but I can't seem to stop. The question is - why don't you think you will not have another chance to travel? I will be happy to talk direct if you want as my e-mail is for real.

Sorry, I see that there is an extra z in my address.

I think it's quite clear you should NOT go to college yet. You aren't ready for it, wouldn't appreciate it, and wouldn't get much out of it. But travel is not "better" than college at all. It's different but unless you put some effort into it, it's not going to be particularly educational. If what you want is a change of scene and some new experiences, consider traveling with a program where you actually DO something, like work in developing countries to improve health care or study something. <BR> <BR>You probably do need to take a year off, but my honest opinion is that you need to get a job for a while, THEN go to college, THEN travel and/or do study-abroad. <BR> <BR>Surely, you can see why most of us here will get the impression you are not really interested in self-improvement -- that we'd think you might be a tiny bit spoilt and mostly interested in running around with the boyfriend playing in new playgrounds around the world........

PS: When I say "get a job," I don't mean some mindless, tedious thing, with you living at home. I mean move out, go find a job that relates to something you think you might want to do after college, so you can get an idea of what you really need to be studying once you get to college. I don't mean it as a punishment -- I mean it as a "test-run" so college will mean something to you.

To Louis [email protected] <BR> <BR>You have said some wise words but are you certain that your name is no Louise? <BR>

Louis - beautifully put!

Jeez... as a parent, how do I answer this? As an educator, how do I answer this? I guess I can only answer from life's experiences. <BR> <BR>No, college right after high school is not the answer for everyone. Travel is a wonderful education in itself. Now, the parent in me comes out. You want to travel with your boyfriend. Hmmm....Sounds to me like you really want to spend time with him. So, remove him from the situation. If he was not there, would you still want to travel? More importanly, could you do it on your own? If you can say yes to these two questions then, maybe, you might be ready to travel. But ditch the boyfriend. If you are depending on him, you're not ready.

Wow! I don't know what Louis knows, but I have to ask you :What is your goal? To avoid college? To play in new playgrounds with this boyfriend? To truly see the world? To just separate yourself from your parents? To spend your inheritance ASAP? Think about that! And your goal may be legitimate, but make your means of achieving it is sensible. To see the world is a grand thing, but it is not worth sacrificing your parents goodwill and the possibility of an education for! You have plenty of time. In fact, the most travelling I ever got to do was as a recruiter for my school AFTER I graduated! If I had not gone there I would have missed out on a whole year of truly seeing the world - and on someone else's dime. And beleive it or not, life gets more interesting and meaningful as you get older, not the other way around! The chances that you will actually go back to school get slimmer as time goes by. Perhaps a compromise would motivate both you and your parents to agree. There are TONS of cool summer travel programs open to college students. Look forward to one of these for NEXT summer while you "find yourself" by taking a variety of different introductory college courses your first year. <BR>AND besides...I went on one of those summer programs to Europe during graduate school. After the "classes" were over I travelled around by myself, and there was NO lack of young men (or girls) willing to travel with/protect me on every leg of the journey. If you are discerning and sensible you can find plenty of upright and safe travel companions of both genders...(Hint: None of them were Americans- I believe that Europeans grow up faster than we do, and are responsible and respectful at a younger age). <BR>

Melissa, <BR> <BR>Why don't you tell us why you want to take time to travel? It may be a great experience for you. But a year or two? That is a lot of time--what would you do? Are you planning to work overseas? Tell us more about your plans. <BR> <BR>Traveling around with your boyfriend sounds like a lot of fun. But, I have to agree with the other posters that you may not want him around for two years. Or, visa versa. What are your contingency plans if you decide you are better off apart? Would you go on alone?

Perhaps your parents aren't crazy about the idea of you running around Europe with a boy to whom you are not married. You are not likely to be able to be able to get your mom and dad to see your point of view any more easily than you are about to accept theirs. For sure, you can do whatever you want. And, if you don't have a sincere desire to continue your education, that's probably not a good plan. I'm guessing, though, that traveling with your boyfriend is simply more appealing to you than attending college near home. Anyone will tell you that your education background determines your options and opportunities for the rest of your life. This is a concept that, at 18, no one understands. If you focus, for the next few years, on getting a college degree and establishing yourself in a chosen career, trust me on this, you'll enjoy a much better life than by focusing on spending time with your boyfriend.

I guess I am kind of confused about what to do. Alot of things about school are really boring, like history and math. So maybe I could do something in fashion design. So if I went to Paris and Italy, I could learn about that, and maybe history would be more interesting. Nobody gave me my money. I saved up from my job and I have almost $3000 dollars. I think we would travel for awhile and then stop and work for awhile. I don't want to travel by myself. My boyfriend didn't go to college and he thinks I will do OK if I don't go at all, but I think I might want to go someday. My parents just don't like him even though he is pretty nice to them, and they said they wont pay for college if I don't go right now. Anyway, I'll think about it some more.

You definitely should not be travelling with your boyfriend. You'll have plenty of mind after you get married to do that. <BR> <BR>

Melissa-Have you thought about going to a 2 year technical college? Also, if you apply for a job in a couple of years from now, future employers will frown that you "traveled aimlessly." Better to get a job and figure out what you want to do than travel around. You have plenty of time for that. <BR> <BR>As for the boyfriend, your parents must have some very good reason for not liking him. IMO, he seems to totally lack ambition and is using you. Doesn't he have money? Seems to me he willing to travel with you because you are willing pay his way. Is this the kind of person you want to spend time with? What happens if you get pregnant? Birth control is not 100% effective you know. My advice, dump the boyfriend, get a job or go to a 2 year school. <BR>

You've all been had. Just another summer fun project by some juvenile!

I agree with Me who said it seems like you really want to spend time with your boyfriend. That is not bad in and of itself. Everyone is not made for college, and college is not made for everyone. However, I personally think college is the best educational experience you can have in many many ways, and I would hate to see you not give it a shot. You have to know yourself. If you go off and see the world for two years, will you just decide to get married and not go to college at all? Perhaps this is what your parents are concerned about. If you really want to go to college, know you will do it later, and are prepared to travel smartly (ie., learn from it), I say it is not a bad idea in that it can undoubtedly make your studies of history, art, politics, languages, and many other subjects more meaningful. This I know from personal experience. However, that is only the case if you are prepared for it. It is not enough to come back and say "oh yeah, I went there." You want to be able to say "oh yeah, I went there, and let me tell you what I learned about it." The ideal is what others have suggested: go to college, so you can prepare for travel and life, and take semester abroad or summer courses in another country.

Don't let your boyfriend influence you away from college just because he does not want to go. You will be missing a great opportunity and remember your parents will be there when the boyfriend is gone. You will have lots of time to travel between semesters and during the summer. After you graduate college, take off a couple of months to Europe before settling down to a permanent job. You can do fun things during the summer and still make money. My daughter and her friend worked on a ranch this summer and had a blast. They also got paid very well, had fun and made lots of new friends. However, she is back home now in her 3rd year of college. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

As a current college student, I recommend you compromise, and do both. I have travelled more in the past 4 years than I did in the previous 18. My travels have come in the form of weekend road trips, visits to the homes of friends in different states, spring breaks, a Rose Bowl trip, trips for work (a career-related job, at that), and a few trips to Florida to visit a girlfriend. I'll be travelling to DC before school starts, and I'm also planning another Bowl trip for New Years and a trip for spring break as well, not to mention a fabulous (and well-deserved) excursion next summer after graduation. By the way, I'm not wealthy in the least, and I have less money saved than you do. <BR> <BR>Going to school involves a lot of hard work, but the connections you can make can allow you to travel at a fraction of the cost! I can go just about anywhere in the country and I have a free place to stay, and I can mooch some meals as well. I also agree with the above postings that you need to be somewhat educated to appreciate what you see. The world takes on an entirely different meaning once you acquire the thorough thought process necessary to succeed in college. <BR> <BR>Travelling can't be compared directly to college--they are two completely different things. I believe, however, that they can complement each other very well to provide an entirely enriching experience. <BR> <BR>

Melissa, I really hope this isn't a troll's thread -- but your comments don't sound too different from what I've heard from a lot of kids whom I interview for admission to college. <BR> <BR>Tell your parents this admissions person thinks they're dead wrong to say they won't pay if you don't go this year. I understand what they're trying to do, but that ultimatum is a recipe for disaster -- forcing you to go now when you'll just goof off and hate what you're doing or forcing you to make a future decision based entirely on costs. <BR> <BR>Three thoughts: Do you realize how little $3000 is and how quickly it will go? And getting a job while you're traveling is unrealistic because getting working papers in most countries is very difficult. Finally, the college you've already gotten into may well agree to defer your acceptance a year if you talk to them about specific plans for the year you are traveling. <BR> <BR>What you might do is bargain with your parents. Promise absolutely you'll go a year from now or 18 months from now (depending on what the college says). Or promise you'll reapply to colleges within 2 years once you have a good, firm idea of what you want your career to look like. And promise to earn some of your own money to contribute to college. If you seem to have thought through why you are traveling and what you hope to gain -- and if you can discuss it calmly, maturely, and without hysterics with your parents, maybe they'd go along. I can tell you that applicants for admission who have had a little extra experience between high school and college can sometimes be really desirable to admissions committees, esp. if they have grown and learned and contributed. Some students who could never have gotten in to "my" college right out of high school can suddenly be much more likely candidates. <BR> <BR>To everyone else reading this thread: Anyone between Jan. of their senior high school year and Jan. of their college freshman year is in a state of complete CRAZIES. Some get scared. Some get defiant. Some get confused. Some get depressed. Some get manic. Even though it's a wonderful time of life, it is very, very stressful and confusing, and you can count on the kid to do or say things you'd never expect from the kid you thought you knew. Parenting or advising at this point is a matter of slowing down the spinning and getting the person to take a deep breath, calm down, and focus. I think that's what Melissa needs to do, and maybe she's already doing it. <BR> <BR>And if I could pass one national law, it would be that no one could go to college without at least a year's work or training experience.

Melissa-- Why don't you take a year and do a work/service project like the Peace Corp? I agree with those who say that you may not need college yet, but mindless wandering around is not educational-- it's just mindless wandering around! If you go with a program that would enable you to visit someplace interesting, but do some good while you are there and maybe learn too, you would have all the benefits of travel with a little more purpose. <BR> <BR>By the way, most of us who rhapsodize about travel on this forum do so because we don't have enough time to see and do all that we would like to, precisely because we have jobs, families, etc. It might not be nearly so attractive if every morning we just got up and wondered where we were supposed to go today. I did a backpacking trip in Europe one summer during college, and while it was one of the best experiences of my life, I remeber clearly that I was ready to come home after seven weeks. You know how they say absence makes the heart grow fonder? Well it works with everything-- limited access to something you love makes you love it all the more.

Hi Melissa! <BR> <BR>Melissa, may I offer you some advice? I am 31 years old. Because of family obligations and financial constraints while growing up, I now find myself working full-time while going to college at night. Believe me, it's NOT easy this way, but for me, it's the ONLY way in which I can do it. In addition, I live in one of the MOST expensive cities in the world, NYC. I love to travel, and wouldn't give it up for the world. The people giving you advice on this forum don't even know you, aside from what you've told them, and they are ALL trying to help. What you have to realize is that you have to learn how to help YOURSELF. I suggest you treat yourself to a nice trip, perhaps during spring break of your first year at college. You'll get a taste of what Europe is like, accomplish going to school, and learn what it is like to be a responsible adult. It's better to have a degree than not. I don't enjoy going to school at this point in my life. I've just accepted it as fact, and that's it. I do love to learn though. And travelling will open your eyes to a whole new world. Allow your parents to pay for your tuition, and you pay for the trip. As a previous poster stated, $3,000 is NOT a lot of money. Believe me. Even though I work full-time, and go to school part-time, I make certain that I go to Europe once a year.It DOESN'T have to be expensive. Just do the research, and enjoy. <BR>Hope my advice will be useful. <BR>Ross. :-)

"Melissa" -- No, for you college would be better than travelling. At college, you would get a free e-mail access that you could use for trolls like this one. While travelling, you'd have to pay to use a cyber-cafe.

Years ago when I was a college student I participated in a weekend course sponsored by my speech professor. Everyone who participated received extra credit in the course, so of course I signed right up. <BR> <BR>The course was one of those "get-to-know-yourself-bare-your-soul" type of things (in the 1970's it was EST, I believe), but at any rate, the goal of the course was to push your communication comfort zones and do so with complete honesty. Everyone stood up and voiced their deepest self-doubts and inadequacies to the rest of the group. Guess what? Not ONE person, no matter how seemingly self-assured or confident, knew what they wanted to do with their lives or whether or not their chosen major was even right for them. <BR> <BR>If you think you will be the only one in college hating a particular course or unsure what you're doing there, don't feel alone. Chances are that MOST of the people there feel that way too. It's a time of self-discovery, so don't be afraid if some notions that you held to be true dissipate while you're in college. <BR> <BR>Why not attend, see what you think, and travel during the summer and/or winter break?

C'mon you guys. <BR>This is either a complete troll post or is the next best thing. <BR>"I'm 18 and I have my own money so I want to travel for a year in Europe". <BR>On $3000?!!? <BR>I can go through that in 2-3 DAYS. <BR>The author is either VERY naive and fishing for attention or is laughing heartily at all your "wise" responses. <BR> <BR>School is back in session....in more ways than one!!

To you self-apppointed protectors out there: I'd rather get snowed by a troll who sounds plausible to me than spend my time potentially insulting real people! Perhaps YOU need to go back to school!

What in the world are you doing in 2-3 days that costs $3,000? Have you been on the Most Beautiful Prostitutes or Where I Can I Get Good Drugs strings? <BR> <BR>Anyway, Melissa--you say you are 18 and have "your own" money, so you can do what you want. So while you earned this money, were you supporting yourself? Or did this financial support come from your parents? Believe it or not, they care about you and really want to give you the best start in life they can. Maybe they don't remember exactly what it's like to be 18, but they have been there. Really listen to what they have to say about your plans AND your boyfriend. Deep down, maybe you won't agree with everything, but you might start to agree with some of the things they are saying.

If you guys are going to be rude, then just forget the whole thing. Never mind. I'll figure it out myself.

Now, will you believe us skeptics that you've all been had? <BR>And Robin....get real!

Bob Brown gave you great advice. <BR>Get an education - no one will hire you because you traveled, but they will hire you if you have a college degree. A good compromise is go to college and apply for a study abroad program, you can spend a year or semester living in a foreign country, attending school and traveling during breaks. You might want to talk your boyfriend into going to college too -- he too will be more employable with a degree.

Well, I hope you people are happy. Another person asks for advice, only to be shot down by crabs. What's is WRONG with you people? Lots of posters gave very smart advice here, and maybe it would have helped. But a few of you just had to get nasty. Before you call someone a troll/liar, you'd better be darn sure. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Nice try, Mom! Or is it Melissa? (Can't wait for school to start again!)

Melissa (assuming you are for real): No matter what anyone tells you, including your parents, you are going to have to figure this out on your own. Your parents are very smart to tell you that they will not fund your education unless you go right now. It's called MOTIVATION. A lot in life is boring. After a time traveling with your boyfriend, you'll find him very boring, not to mention annoying. Any boyfriend who tells you that you will "do OK" if you don't go to college at all is holding you back. That may be why your parents disapprove of him, along with the fact that no man with morals and character would go traipsing around Europe with a teenager who is not his wife. I'm guessing you don't know the first thing about traveling through Europe, including how long $3000 will last you. Do you know how to get a passport? Are you familiar with the entrance regulations and length of stay limitation for the countries you plan to visit? Are you aware that, in most European countries, you cannot legally gain employment? If you are interested in Fashion Design, there are plenty of colleges where you could major in same. You could complete your first two years near home, then transfer to another if the one near home does not offer that major course of study. As others have mentioned, it's far more advantageous to get college out of the way as soon as possible. If I could pass a law, it would be that kids are kicked out of the nest on their 18th birthday so they can experience first hand what it costs to support themselves. You have no idea how lucky you are to have parents who not only set high standards for you but are willing (and able) to contribute to your college education. If you've really saved $3000 from a job, you must know first hand how "boring" a low-paying job is. Advancing beyond one of those boring low-paying jobs requires education and/or skills. There's not a person alive over the age of 30 who hasn't learned that - heck, my parents were right about a thing or two!

To all you nice Fodor's readers out there, I would just like to apologize and let you know that we've tried our best to help Melissa move beyond her fantasy world here on the computer. She has always had a problem with truthfulness, but her doctor says it's really a weaknes in her "reality testing" ability, or something like that. Anyway, when she takes her medicine she's a good girl. But that Joey down the street has been a very bad influence on her and puts all manner of silly ideas in her head about running away from home and such. She'll be bakc in school in the eighth grade next week and we'll be cutting back on her computer time. Sorry to inconvenience y'all.

What this really shows is that there are a lot of people out there that really care about others and want to help. It doesn't matter if this a valid thread or not. It is full of good advice and feeling which from which somebody might benefit. Then there are just a few others on the thread that really don't count in this world. I don't think there is much more to be said after the last post.