Isn't travelling better than going to college?
 

Hi. I graduated from high school this year, and I am supposed to go to college near home. I want to take a year or two off and travel with my boyfriend maybe in Euorope or around this country. My parents say no but I'm 18 and have my own money so I can kind of do what I want. Every body here knows alot about travel, so how can I get my mom and dad to see that travelling would be a good thing for me right now. I might never get another chance and my boyfriend isn't going to college so he can help make sure I'll be safe while I'm travelling.

Here is a question for all of you folks complaining about limited vacation time: <BR> <BR>When you accepted the job you are currently doing, did you ask for two unpaid weeks vacation as part of the package? Or did you offer to decrease your salary or benefits in exchange for more vacation time? <BR> <BR>I didn't think so. So before we ask the government to get involved, people should assume a little responsibility for their own job situation, particularly given the shortage of good labor.

Sorry Melissa. I meant to post this under the vacation time thread. Darn Fodor's software glitch.

In a word NO. As a retired college professor, I have seen students who went places and saw in ignorance. A student once asked me "Who was this Louis guy who lived at Versailles and why did he have such a big house?" I spend a year as a student in Europe, and got in my share of wandering. But I also got in my share of book work, too. <BR>Look at it this way, if travel is to be broadening, it needs an informed traveler as a base from which to operate and have its effect. On the other hand, if you absolutely do not want to go to college, then you would be wasting your time and money because you would not do the work it takes to get a first rate education. Moreover, I don't think you get a first rate education simply by bumming around. One thing is for certain, not many firms will offer you a high paying job just because you have traveled. On the other hand, well educated, well focused students with limited travel experience get jobs that pay very well. I know because I taught them for 30 years. I also know that it is very difficult to get a professional level job these days without a strong educational foundation. True, unemployment is said to be low in this country, but many of the jobs pay poorly and involve little, if any, intellectual challenge. On the other hand, if you have your own money, perhaps you don't need to worry about employment. At least not until the money runs out. <BR>If you are sitting on $500,000 you could live a long time on $30,000 a year without digging itno the principal, assuming you don't need a major hospital stay, which can chew up $70,000 in about a week. <BR> <BR>As for not getting another chance -- balderdash. I am doing more now than ever before, and I have taken major trips every year since 1983, and several before that.

Well, Melissa, if your question is legitimate, I'd have to say either go to college or get a job and take a few weeks off to travel. <BR>There are a lot of angles to your question: most importantly, how mature are you? Naive? Street wise? Responsible? Desiring to travel to avoid doing something you're not motivated to do (college) or because you really want to travel (I'm guessing some of the former is involved). <BR>If you have travelled a good deal with your parents, especially far from home, are very responsible, mature for your age, street wise, and determined to use this time as a growing experience to enhance your world view, I'd let you go as a parent. I will quickly add that I believe very few kids graduating from high school fit all these criteria. <BR>Examine yourself and your motives. <BR>

Yes, if you want to have the most fun today. <BR> <BR>However no, if you want the best you can get out of the rest of your life. That is your choice, believe me and don't complain later. <BR> <BR>If you have your own money, buy some land and build a house. It will be a start of your nest and it will always shelter you when your boy friend is long gone. Which he will be most likely as this is the norm. It is the way of males. The most important thing at this point in your life is to invest in yourself. Your boy friend cannot help you here. If he says otherwise don't believe him. <BR> <BR>

Agree with Bob. You need more education before you can really appreciate what you see while traveling. If you're just looking to have fun, you can do that anywhere. P.S. Spelling counts.

I am sorry but I can't seem to stop. The question is - why don't you think you will not have another chance to travel? I will be happy to talk direct if you want as my e-mail is for real.

Sorry, I see that there is an extra z in my address.

I think it's quite clear you should NOT go to college yet. You aren't ready for it, wouldn't appreciate it, and wouldn't get much out of it. But travel is not "better" than college at all. It's different but unless you put some effort into it, it's not going to be particularly educational. If what you want is a change of scene and some new experiences, consider traveling with a program where you actually DO something, like work in developing countries to improve health care or study something. <BR> <BR>You probably do need to take a year off, but my honest opinion is that you need to get a job for a while, THEN go to college, THEN travel and/or do study-abroad. <BR> <BR>Surely, you can see why most of us here will get the impression you are not really interested in self-improvement -- that we'd think you might be a tiny bit spoilt and mostly interested in running around with the boyfriend playing in new playgrounds around the world........

PS: When I say "get a job," I don't mean some mindless, tedious thing, with you living at home. I mean move out, go find a job that relates to something you think you might want to do after college, so you can get an idea of what you really need to be studying once you get to college. I don't mean it as a punishment -- I mean it as a "test-run" so college will mean something to you.

To Louis [email protected] <BR> <BR>You have said some wise words but are you certain that your name is no Louise? <BR>

Louis - beautifully put!

Jeez... as a parent, how do I answer this? As an educator, how do I answer this? I guess I can only answer from life's experiences. <BR> <BR>No, college right after high school is not the answer for everyone. Travel is a wonderful education in itself. Now, the parent in me comes out. You want to travel with your boyfriend. Hmmm....Sounds to me like you really want to spend time with him. So, remove him from the situation. If he was not there, would you still want to travel? More importanly, could you do it on your own? If you can say yes to these two questions then, maybe, you might be ready to travel. But ditch the boyfriend. If you are depending on him, you're not ready.

Wow! I don't know what Louis knows, but I have to ask you :What is your goal? To avoid college? To play in new playgrounds with this boyfriend? To truly see the world? To just separate yourself from your parents? To spend your inheritance ASAP? Think about that! And your goal may be legitimate, but make your means of achieving it is sensible. To see the world is a grand thing, but it is not worth sacrificing your parents goodwill and the possibility of an education for! You have plenty of time. In fact, the most travelling I ever got to do was as a recruiter for my school AFTER I graduated! If I had not gone there I would have missed out on a whole year of truly seeing the world - and on someone else's dime. And beleive it or not, life gets more interesting and meaningful as you get older, not the other way around! The chances that you will actually go back to school get slimmer as time goes by. Perhaps a compromise would motivate both you and your parents to agree. There are TONS of cool summer travel programs open to college students. Look forward to one of these for NEXT summer while you "find yourself" by taking a variety of different introductory college courses your first year. <BR>AND besides...I went on one of those summer programs to Europe during graduate school. After the "classes" were over I travelled around by myself, and there was NO lack of young men (or girls) willing to travel with/protect me on every leg of the journey. If you are discerning and sensible you can find plenty of upright and safe travel companions of both genders...(Hint: None of them were Americans- I believe that Europeans grow up faster than we do, and are responsible and respectful at a younger age). <BR>

Melissa, <BR> <BR>Why don't you tell us why you want to take time to travel? It may be a great experience for you. But a year or two? That is a lot of time--what would you do? Are you planning to work overseas? Tell us more about your plans. <BR> <BR>Traveling around with your boyfriend sounds like a lot of fun. But, I have to agree with the other posters that you may not want him around for two years. Or, visa versa. What are your contingency plans if you decide you are better off apart? Would you go on alone?

Perhaps your parents aren't crazy about the idea of you running around Europe with a boy to whom you are not married. You are not likely to be able to be able to get your mom and dad to see your point of view any more easily than you are about to accept theirs. For sure, you can do whatever you want. And, if you don't have a sincere desire to continue your education, that's probably not a good plan. I'm guessing, though, that traveling with your boyfriend is simply more appealing to you than attending college near home. Anyone will tell you that your education background determines your options and opportunities for the rest of your life. This is a concept that, at 18, no one understands. If you focus, for the next few years, on getting a college degree and establishing yourself in a chosen career, trust me on this, you'll enjoy a much better life than by focusing on spending time with your boyfriend.

I guess I am kind of confused about what to do. Alot of things about school are really boring, like history and math. So maybe I could do something in fashion design. So if I went to Paris and Italy, I could learn about that, and maybe history would be more interesting. Nobody gave me my money. I saved up from my job and I have almost $3000 dollars. I think we would travel for awhile and then stop and work for awhile. I don't want to travel by myself. My boyfriend didn't go to college and he thinks I will do OK if I don't go at all, but I think I might want to go someday. My parents just don't like him even though he is pretty nice to them, and they said they wont pay for college if I don't go right now. Anyway, I'll think about it some more.

You definitely should not be travelling with your boyfriend. You'll have plenty of mind after you get married to do that. <BR> <BR>

Melissa-Have you thought about going to a 2 year technical college? Also, if you apply for a job in a couple of years from now, future employers will frown that you "traveled aimlessly." Better to get a job and figure out what you want to do than travel around. You have plenty of time for that. <BR> <BR>As for the boyfriend, your parents must have some very good reason for not liking him. IMO, he seems to totally lack ambition and is using you. Doesn't he have money? Seems to me he willing to travel with you because you are willing pay his way. Is this the kind of person you want to spend time with? What happens if you get pregnant? Birth control is not 100% effective you know. My advice, dump the boyfriend, get a job or go to a 2 year school. <BR>