Help us with our wedding, please!!
 

Well, I have tried like crazy to find the perfect spot for our beach wedding, and I am just getting frustrated! We are grad students from TN, and we are trying to plan a "destination weekend wedding" for about 30 of our friends and family. We want it to be on a beautiful beach, and we will pretty much be taking care of the ceremony details ourselves. The problem is that we cannot seem to find the right spot along the east coast (Carolinas, FL, etc), since most everyone will be driving, that will accomodate 30 people. We do NOT want a resort-ish, commercialized atmosphere, but I haven't found a single b and b or inn that can hold us all! I would really love the Keys, but I have had no luck finding appropriate lodging yet. Please help! Any suggestions for a location would be appreciated!! Happy Holidays!

If you're looking in the Carolinas as well, wouldn't the Keys be a stretch for all those folks driving?<BR><BR>I stayed at Island City House last year and liked it. It's large enough, too, and they accept kids.

Island City House is in Key West, by the way.

Mindy, have you considered Litchfield Plantation? It's roughly south of Myrtle Beach and north of Charleston on Pawley's Island.<BR><BR>Litchfield Plantation, a country inn resort, is an elegantly preserved former rice plantation with award-winning service and Southern hospitality. <BR><BR>Accommodations include beautiful suites in the 250 year-old Plantation House, luxurious Guest House, cottages and villas. <BR><BR>Guests enjoy gourmet dining in the Plantation's Carriage House restaurant, private beach clubhouse, tennis courts, marina, heated pool, concierge service, and privileges at over 100 nearby golf courses. <BR><BR>Highest rated among all accommodations on South Carolina's Grand Strand by Zagat's survey and member of the exclusive Small Luxury Hotels of the World. <BR><BR>Phone: 1-800-869-1410<BR><BR>Web: litchfieldplantation.com <BR> <BR> <BR>

Maybe Wrightsville Beach, NC? At the very end of the island is a place called Shell Island (it's one building with individaul condo units that they rent out like hotel rooms), and I have seen them do weddings right on the beach. Very pretty.

Arabella may be on to something here. Charleston, or Savannah Beach (a/k/a Tybee Island) could be good. Not commercial in the traditional sense and there's a quaint, friendly town for people to stay. How about one of those barrier islands, like St. Simons or Jekyl Island?

I was just a best man in the exact same type of wedding that you're looking for. It was a "destination wedding" attended by about 100 guests -- about 30 minutes east of Orlando's huge airport in COCOA BEACH, FLORIDA. Most events were at the very nice Holiday Inn on the ocean. The ceremony itself was held on a really nice wooden deck overlooking the beach and ocean. Perfect. <BR>Check it out & good luck!<BR>

Mindy, did you mention the month you are getting married in. This makes a big difference where you choose to have it?

Island City House, in Key West, is a decent choice but it is one of the few B&B's that allows kids, which might work to your benefit if there are some invited. Also look at The Merlinn Inn and the Key Lime Inn. They both allow kids (I think) but they aren't your typical B&B set up. The best beach down here to have a wedding on is Fort Zac.

Mindy<BR>We just returned from Clearwater Beach Florida. We stayed at the Sheraton HOtel in Sand Key. They have a beach that feels and looks as if it is at least a half mile long directly on the water. They had two tents set up for a wedding when we were there.

Mindy, it doesn't matter what month you choose if you choose Key West. I have to say that Grglnswsh (I hope I spelled it correctly) is a treasure trove of<BR>information when it comes to Key West. I am sure Patrick is very helpful to. Stick with the experts, Leone is helpful but he is in France (I think). Listen and do your research. This is probably the most exciting, important day in a girls life and you want perfection. Congradulations on the up coming wedding and the grad. study's. Stay calm things have a way of working themselves out. If there is a small hiccup that day only you will know.

A friend of mine got married on Sanibel Island. You might want to check that out as well.

Not sure of the budget for this event, but check out Elizabeth Pointe Lodge at Amelia Island, FL, right below the Georgia line & about an hour from the Jacksonville, FL airport. It is a small inn with 25 rooms on the ocean; it has a separate cottage which could house the reception. Guests also could stay at nearby Fernandina Beach. www.elizabethpointelodge.com

Mindy:<BR><BR>How about Cape May, NJ? It is lined with Victorian houses and is very pictureque. They do cater a little to weddings there. There are MANY B&Bs in Cape May, by the way.<BR><BR>

Mindy, are you familar with the west coast of Florida? There are some nice beaches-from the panhandle to Sanibel/Captiva all the way south to Naples.<BR>Some suggestions:<BR>Casa Ybel in Sanibel<BR>Seven Seas Plantation <BR>Ritz Carlton, Registry, Naples Beach Club<BR>I've heard that Michelle's on the Bay in Venetian Bay, Naples is a lovely restaurant-and they accomodate private parties. Haven't been there ourselves, though.<BR>Best wishes to you on your upcoming wedding!

Educate me. This "destination wedding" seems to be the current Thang. There was an article in the Washington Post today from someone who was pretty irritated at being asked to travel to the Caribbean and pick up the travel and lodging expenses so that the bride and groom could get a free stay at the resort (because of the amount of business wedding guests would bring in). In My Day (the 70's), people got married locally and one didn't have to take a week's vacation and spend thousands of dollars to go to the wedding. Obviously lots of folks do this and lots of folks like it, from what I'm reading here. I'm not trying to rain on Mindy's parade, I'm just surveying the landscape on this topic. When did this become the fashion and does everyone think it's a good thing?

Sorry Mindy, I have something to add to Old Poopy Pants. Just an experience I had in October. Our Godson, who has lived all over the world with the company that his Dad worked for, decided to have a destination wedding. October 17th, was the date. Ireland was the place. We made our resevations in Ireland and decided to continue our travels with his parents to Italy. A total of three weeks. Everything was bought and paid for, however chicken me after 9/11 was afraid to travel and canceled the trip. We were out huge bucks and so was our were our Godsons parents, they had to go to Ireland, but chose not to do Italy without us. PS - Daddy was angry at us. Our Godson just sent us pictures of his wedding and it was beautiful. He understood completely why we canceled and told us home much we were missed. I phoned him yesterday and asked him what possessed him to have this destination wedding" His answer was, so all of his loved ones can be together and he and his bride would be able to have a one on one with everyone that came. It is the in thing - I guess - I can't say too much because I have grandchildren and they may decide to do something like this. It is called intimate. Our daughter had over 300 people at her wedding and it cost us a bundle and it the marriage only lasted eight years. Go figure. Times have changes and we have to go with he flow.<BR><BR>The best part of our daughters marriage, we were blessed with three beautiful active grandsons. <BR><BR>Sorry Mindy honey, continue with the wedding plans. It WILL be beautiful.

If you're in TN, how far away is Mobile? Neat, historic 300-year old place. Very cool, lots of diversions. It is, though, a thriving little city, not a quiet, idyllic getaway spot.<BR><BR>Perfect place in NC: Ocracoke Island. There's a place called the Boyette House which can accommodate your party (22 rooms or something like that). Check it out. Ocracoke is so underdeveloped, some places don't even have phones.

Have you checked out http://www-personal.umich.edu/~kzaruba/wedding.html<BR>It looks like a non-commercial site with links to locations for destination weddings. Good luck!

Jsut wanted to comment about WHY this is the "in thing" Couples these days liek their wedding to be "unique"a nd at a location which is special to them sometimes. Also the one reason the idea of getting married in one's "hometown" is outdated is because we live in a very mobile society. People no longer live in one town throughout their childhood and especially through adulthood. Most people move away for college, jobs etc. Sometimes you meet that special someone in another state then you have to contend with not only your out of state family but also his/her family in yet a third state or location. When this happens people will be traveling far and wide for the wedding anyway, why not just have them travel to an idyllic location. No one need to get ticked off that they have to spend money to travel to a destination wedding. The thing with destination weddings is that usually only your close family and friends attend anyway. These people could care less how much it costs to travel to the wedding they are going to be there no matter what! You don't see many "destination weddings" with 350+ people there. Unlike a hometown wedding where people you may not even know (friends of parents) would come. Also people are getting married at an older age and are getting more towards the idea of smaller scale but more personal and elegant (quality rather than quantity)<BR><BR>As you can guess I am having a destination wedding. Mine is at WDW in Nov. 2002 and I can't wait!!!!1

I agree with Kelly. I got married at age 26 and had moved away from my hometown at age 18. Having not lived there in 8 years I didn't know many people there. I had many friends coming from college and grad school to the wedding as well. Hubby was from another state too. If I had had the "hometown wedding" over 70% of my guests would be traveling anyway!

HAve you thought of Hilton Head South Carolina. We have a condo we use frequently at Harbourtown Yacht Club in Hilton Head. I have seen a couple of differnt weddings there over the years, both outdoor weddings with the well-known lighthouse in the background and indoor weddings at the Yacht Club. This seems like it would be a great ide and there are some nice B&Bs on the island which you could rent out.

Another idea in Key West is The Chelsea House and The Red Rooster Guest House. They are both right next store to each other and share the same pool area. Pull up Keywest.com and you will find both of these.

Mindy,<BR>Have you choosen a place or narrowed down your choices?

Mindy, sorry you had to receive so many negative comments but there seems to be several unhappy, angry people that only find happiness being nasty. That must be true of life in general and a forum like this is apparentely more than they can resist. Ignore them and good luck with your wedding plans. By the way, if guests cannot afford a destination wedding, they don't have to go!!! DUH ! About Litchfield Plantation, where would someone fly into and get to that site from the airport?

If flying to Litchfield Plantation, you could either fly into Myrtle Beach, SC or Charleston, SC. Myrtle Beach is the more convenient airport of the two because it is only 20-30 minutes from the Myrtle Beach airport to Litchfield. The Charleston airport is a little over an hour to Litchfield.

Thank you Becca.

Key Largo!!! At sunset. Definitely!!!!

What about West Palm Beach in Florida? There are two resorts which I have heard are very nice - The Breakers and Boca Raton Resort and Beach Club.

Kelly: Sorry, have to disagree with you - I'm tired of destination weddings that dictate WHERE and WHEN I spend MY hard earned cash and scant vacation time. <BR>I can understand these weddings when the situation is as described by Ang.<BR>But the last two "destination weddings" in our family took place at a beach resort just because the bride & groom wanted to be there. My husband and I do not like beach vacations as neither one of us can take sun. We would never have considered taking a vacation there!<BR> <BR>

You might check out the Sanderling Inn north of Nags Head, N.c.- Beautiful setting, I think they have a website also. B&B feel but can accomodate your size group. Good Luck!

Me- you sound very self-involved, just like your id. The wedding is not about you, its about sharing the couple's day. People in my family WANT to attend my wedding, they wouldn't care if it was in Antartica, in the dead of winter. The point is they want to be with us. My feeling is that if they don't, then they should stay home, that simple. I'm not asking anyone to feel obligated to come to a wedding and heaven forbid go on a vacation that isn't their dream vacation, remember this is the couple's wedding, not a vacation for the guests. Most destination weddings I have heard of involve less than 30 people, obviously these people are very close to the couple and could care less where the wedding is held. I really don't want people to come to my wedding who are not excited to do so. I want only closest friends and family with me so that it can be an intimate and special affair. One of the points of a destination wedding is so that you don't have a lot of "acquaintances" or not so close "family members" around. The idea really weeds out the people who care more about going somewhere they like than sharing the couple's special day!

Mindy and Kelly:<BR>I don't have any other information for you except please do not feel you have to defend your decision. Have a great time, enjoy yourself and your guests and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Good luck!

My husband and I love to travel, but since we're not yet retired, our travels are limited by vacation time. With limited opportunity to enjoy our time off, it is somewhat presumptious to think that your family and close friends want to spend major travel funds and days off at a place that isn't of particular interest. A few years ago, we were invited to my cousin's child's wedding in Jamaica. My husband had just had surgery a few months earlier and really couldn't handle being out in the sun alot. So we had decided to stop by and enjoy the wedding on our way to London. We heard that behind our backs we were ridiculed for not partaking in the entire week of activities. This was despite the fact that we had explained the medical circumstances. It cost several hundred extra dollars to include the wedding weekend in our plans, but to spend all of our vacation funds to be locked in our hotel room in Jamaica would have been ludicrious to just keep family happy. It's not like my husband was going to risk his health because the bride wanted jetski as a group for a week. <BR><BR>While your family is trying to be nice and say that they don't mind the cost, think twice and question if this is fair to everyone. And I really pity the wedding party attendants who are faced with all of the travel expenses and the dresses/tuxes, bridal showers, gifts, etc. It may be your wedding, but don't bankrupt your friends. And remember that while it's your wedding and you want to sprulge on your lodging, your guests may not want to spend their life savings on staying at the top resorts.

Gail- I hardl think of your cousin's daughter as close family. "CLose" family (parents and most siblings) however on the other hand usually don't care the location of the wedding and are usualy the ones a couple wants to spend the day with.<BR><BR>As for attendants, I am the only bridesmaid in a wedding that is to take place aboard a cruise ship en route to the Bahamas. I am paying my way and husband's way on the cruise as well as airfare and hotel in florida. I have no problems with this. When the bride invited me to be a part, she told me up front and very nicely that she understood if I could not participate. The thing is I live 8-9 hrs driving from the bride now anyway. No matter where she had her wedding, I would have had to pay airfare and hotel as well as dress, present, bridal shower etc. I have no problem as she is my closest friend in the world and former roomate. The bride in this case has a very large family (6 brothers and sisters all married some with children) The wedding will be small and not even all the immediate family will be coming much less distant family like cousins or cousins parents. It will be her parents and some of her siblings, his parents and brother, me and hubby, and best man and his girlfriend. None of us feel obligated, we choose to take this 5 day trip with them. <BR><BR>On another note, one of the reasons for the cruise ship wedding is that it is his second marriage (her first) and he apparently had a 200 person formal wedding the first time and doesn't feel like it would be proper to repeat.

Me, Glenda and others, could you address the point that very, very often the bride and groom are not from the same home towns. When I was married (and this is the case with almost ALL of the weddings I've attended) about 30% of the attendees travelled to my home town. I had relatives who came from the opposite coast, as did my husband. My husband's family and many of his friends travelled about 400 miles, booked hotel rooms, etc. I had a relatively small wedding, 90 people, and there did not exist a location where at least 30 people would not have had to travel to attend. Is this a preferable scenario to you than simply having 30 people total attend a wedding and all travelling to a vacation destination rather than the bride's home town?<BR><BR>When you receive a wedding invitation you are not obligated to attend, and if it is beyond your financial or physical means to do so you absolutely shouldn't attend.

FYI - Abe I am very close to my cousin and infact am the Godmother to her son. What I'm trying to say is that even if you're close, destination weddings are not always convenient for the attendees.

Pay no attention to Kelly. She was run off of here once and she still has the audacity to post here. She also runs to Fodors censors any time anyone says even the tiniest negativity to her or about her....

I have never been "run off" the sight before. Some time ago I attempted to post a couple of questions and get information regarding holding my wedding at WDW. These were travel-related regarding resorts and procedure as well as cost. I got several of the same RUDE remarks regarding destination weddings that Mindy has and that is why I seem emphatic and defend the decision. I have never reported any post to Fodor's myself though many kind people did stand up for my decision. I would uphold any decision however by Fodors to delete negatvity and personal attacks on the board.

This is not a wedding planning site people!