jetset~
chocolate covered cane spiders are quite delicious. they cover anything and everything in chocolate over here, shrimp, octopus, cuttlefish, nori and on and on. maybe i'll be your secret santa this year and send you a box of the chocolate spiders...you like white, dark or milk chocolate?

and i'm sure more than one periscope went up when you dropped your top

Aw great. another nice guy... My husband is a nice guy, and I only picked him for breeding purposes because he's tall.
Before he retired from being a male model in the underwear dept.,(remember the year that the fall catalog forgot to edit, yup, that's my guy), we had lots of fun in your state. Okay, I was fined for crimes committed in the pool, but hey..
Anyway, I was hoping you'd get irritated enough that this "loser post" would hit the 170 mark that you'd again be forced to warble some old 80's tune, like the Village People or Donna Summer "I need HOT LOVE".. well. I need a liver transplant, but I'm not singing for one.
So now you offer chocolate, like the kind of sappy soul who'd follow me in jr. high, calling me "citrus" because my highlights didn't wuite take.. think he was a Cecil, as if..
and I'll tell you what taro guy, send the chocolate, go ahead if you feel that bad, and don't forget the dry Mai Tai mix.
I had another crazy adventure in Maui-- once I met two guys milling about the K. shopping plaza in Lahaina.. a few careful brain sparks later, it was determined that he was my for real cuzzin. No, "that" would not have been a possibility, as he was short and dull, and I at least needed an appetizer to get to old first base(times were tough).
And what became of Dick? He used to like them young and he liked a little wacky tobacky too.. sister and I would get the fumes through the wall and share Doritos..
anyway, now that we officially don't care for each other, you may be clever and witty and I'll pretend to lather at the thought of you and I sharing a convention table.... grandmother said when asked to do something really weird, squeeze your eyes tight and try not to laugh.. report back when you find your dumb frog, J.

ps... no, I don't sport the inflatah chest. I like to jog and that would not be pretty, a black eye, so "last year".

You'd need an address. I'll either be assisting Rush, or you can send to:
Donna Me Trix
c/o Stoly Estates
Intox E. Kate, Alaska 35,000 feet

Jetset, you forgot to add your phone number.

1 966 g-e-t l-o-s-t

jetset, do you hire out for parties? You are a hoot!!! :-D

For anyone else without a life, I thought I'd share a cute and G rated moment.
Last night, my eleven yr. old discovered the Knight Rider show for the first time.
Having seen David Hasselhoff the other night as a judge on the Talent Show, he said "Mom, he doesn't look like the same guy". I laughed and told him the show was pretty old, and then realized in horror that actually, so was I.

Faina~ I always preferred the standby 867-5309. No males my age ever knew that song,lol.
"Jenny, Don't change your numbah, I wanna make you mine....

Ann Marie C~ not yet. The bull riding job pays purty good when the flies ain't bitin'..

:D

Jetset, wait 'til you see Hasselhof in Adam Sandler's new movie <i>Click.</i> The movie's not so great, but Hasselhof's cameo is that cringe-worthy combination of cheesy + funny.

my duh tattoo was expanding to read duluth, but boy that didn't last long!

I am a Sandler fan.. he's such a silly boy. Waterboy was ridiculous. I put wheels under the house and bought my first 40 oz. beer, found some holey underwear and scratched all the old scabs off.
Speaking of lost luggage, I don't lose mine anymore. I started to take my proctologist on trips~~ yes, he's an a**, but he cracks me up. I wouldn't say he's perfect, but I think the man could find a cotton ball in a snowstorm.. Ned Beatty even said two thumbs up.
Hey, it's Italian night here, so I have some stuff to do. You guys chat amongst yourselves and I'll return with my tales of terror.
Oh yes, I followed in a truck which had a bumper wisdom on the back.

All those who wander are not lost.

Then I went to the post office. Now there's a federal employee there who has job security. You see, he sweeps up cigarette butts. When the smokers have left the building, he simply stubs out one of his own and puts it into his pan(I spied with my little glass eye).
Then he shmoozes the retired people or those too slow to make a plausible excuse like I would &quot;oops, elective surgery day, toodles&quot;.
Dogs on Harley's, gotta love their smiles!

matnikstym~ what is the screen name origin iffen you don't mind. So many consonants, even Vanna would be afraid.
I tried the frog elgs once in S. A., interesting, sorta chickeny, but the rattlesnake appetizer and biltong was far more interesting when chased by a sweet dessert wine.
Write back soon. I want to spank you some more.

legs, that is. Sorry Rod. &quot;you're wearing me out, hot legggs, wanna scream and shout&quot;...oh yeah, howzabout ZZ top and those beards... &quot;She's got legs, she knows how to use them&quot;. Tina Turner, now those legs are worth gold. I saw her in a red leather mini.
She could shake it in her fifties like Rush at a Pfizer convention..

jet~i guess i can call you jet now that we are officially enemies, it's the first names of my pets. only shortened, original huh? but what's a fading disco star wannabe to do?

Please child, please...tell me you are wayyy under 40, because -GULP- I may have danced with you in a Honolulu disco once in March, 1982. We(my sister and another friend) had been celebrating Mother's birthday at a Greek place, doing ouzo shots, following lithe young men with smooth chests around tables, when we decided mom needed beauty sleep, and after rolling her home to the hotel, we went out to a disco.
I had one of several sparkly headbands at that time(made my head look slim), and I had the air guitar thing locked up baybee. One guy &quot;hey, are you a professional&quot;? slap.
We crossed a street and were serenaded by a younf turg who belted out &quot;I know a girl who lives on the hill, she won't do it but her sister will&quot;.. oh dear, I miss my sister after that night. Sure, she sends pictures of the palace, the cute camels and her twelve children, but still.
Anyhoo, let's make a plan. Join me in a warm rendition of Strangers in the Night, seven bottles island time brah. I'll be thinking about my younger years, all style and no substance. cheers... you loser, J.

young turk. Good grief. That will teach me to approach my mouth with the glass on the left.
Anyway, we sold the monkey to a ranch called Neverland and my life started to get strange...

jet -- don't you ever get tired of talking to yourself? :-) Not that I don't enjoy reading your inspiration. ((b))

were you the one who pulled off my artificial chest toupee, you know the one held on with the big artificial rhinestones in the shape of a dollar sign? if so, all i remember of you is the top of your head, held a beer can just fine!

You were tall AND hairy. Hmm, excess testosterone, hot wax..luckeeeeee.
Me, medium height, hair sprayed for then current Mt. Vesuvius bangs layered and eyes delicately rimmed in Kohl. Brassiere? Probably double padded.
I won't even hazard a guess as to what I drank back then. Not a Propel, that much I know. Probably a rum and coke, or BV coke, or a screwdriver, something dull.
I was never much for the beer drinkers~ reminded me too much of h.s., all cold and slimy and too much of the Roman hand syndrome.
anyway, dinner is about to be served here. remember, Frank will be ready for your Scooby Dooby Doo...

Budman~ yes, I am spent. I am going to recharge for awhile, and pretend to be intelligent while our non drinking employee comes for dinner.
Then I will pass out on my chaise lounge outside while the evil squirrels plot at how to get into the attic and take my teddies.

:-) You'll be missed. Be gentle with your employee. ((b))

Goodnight all my new friends~ I'm exhausted after today's escape into alternate reality.
During dinner, my younger son, in an effort to contribute to our discussion of current events, asked about the famous woman who was a cook and in trouble with the law. Wasn't it Betty Crocker, he asked?
No, Martha Stewart, I gently corrected. And she learned how to pick her ankle bracelet on the internet too.
The only thing Betty did wrong was make too many choices for brownie mix.
Goodness, I can hardly see straight. I did learn something about Portugal though. We had a charming young man explain about his two year mission there, and it was quite entertaining to hear his experiences.
I sometimes joke to my friends that I want to give up our hurry scurry life and become a missionary family. Of course, the version I have is more modern Gilligan's island than hard labor and required immunizations.
I'll dream about sailing the world and hoping the pirates are going the other way. J.

so you're finished flogging the employee? sweet dreams of cane spiders
Aloha

jetset, where are you? So hoped you join me in some insomnia tonight. Guess not. Oh, well, tomorrow then~

I think we should meet in a brewery somewhere. Or Lynchburg, Tenn.
That is where Jack Daniels is from.
No, not the person.

I don't know about the brewery, Bob. A bunch of relative strangers throwing back the hard stuff right off the bat.. like college, except now a few have more baggage, ex spouses, less hair, more botox, capped teeth, better jobs, child support, f.f. miles, gender operations, 401's gone south, or maybe north and the Hummer is a lovely money green, trouble with the law, problems with immigration, dislike of Democrats, Republicans, librarians, actors, celebrities, athletes, Scientologists, downsizing, overseas job displacement, the weather being too hot, wet, cold, lawsuits, road rage, social anxiety issues, e.d. intimidation, obesity, and whatever else...
If meeting at the brewery would help with any or none of the above, I reluctantly agree, except I'll be playing the part of a benevolent life coach, ready to help you find the insight to just let it go and evolve into the enlightened souls that you were really meant to be.
Everyone please roll out your mats now. Let's stretch...feel your back start to relax, roll your shoulders, feel your neck loosen up.
Downward facing dog is a bit too ambitious for the new ones, so we will walk on the beach, listen to the gentle sounds of the waves, watch the birds fly freely.
You are happy to be here. You are alive and healthy and the new day is filled with promise. Hold on to one nice thought. Let it guide you through the little minefield we call life. Breathe in slowly. Let it out. Once again. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Ah, I see you had a good night's. :-) ((b))

Budman~ yes, I slept well, thanks to mental exhaustion, good company, no wine and a few laughs.
Now I need to saddle up my mountain bike. I'm taking Mr. Buffett along. Not Warren, the bumps would hurt his back. Jimmy, the sailor man. Singing of the ocean and cheeseburgers and lipitor for that special badabing~
So I'm going pedaling, and planning something special for later. I think our party needs a theme. Not all white. Diddy does that. hmmm.

Can I bring a lake and a hoard of mosquitoes? Nobody in Minnesota will notice a missing lake or a few billion missing mosquitoes.

Land of 15,000 lakes and fourteen trillion mosquitoes.

Billion mosquitoes are not allowed. Only brazillion.

What a day! It is beautiful, dry and mild. The mosquitoes which attack like bulimics in a Krispy Kreme are all but gone finally.
I was all dressed like a Lance wannabe, dayglo jacket, jelly diaper bike shorts,(a small price to pay for the feeling of sitting atop a marshmallow cloud), sports top for comic relief, camel pack for hydration.
Then, I was embarrassed to see the garbage truck coming as I left my driveway. I bet the boys wonder how I can drink all those imported beers and manage to get on the old Trekkie in the morning.. also, they can't see that I've carefully used electrical tape in such a way that I resemble a woman I saw in an old seventies movie once.. Linda somebody, the name escapes me for now.
anyway, the smell of wildflowers and weed killer keeps me alert and my sinuses clear for a couple miles.
I realize too late that I've picked Jimmy's collection, vs. just the standard cd. I'm one of those who sets goals, you know, last song I'm on my way home. Okay, I'll burn off a few more calories anyway.
I am releived to be home. Even early, days like this start to heat up fast, and I'm beginning to perspire like my idol Rush, when he realizes that once again, he has some &quot;splaining to do.
Gotta freshen up. Let's meet later and finalize the freak show, oops.. I mean, the lovely gtg and lively party forthcoming, J.

Bayougal~ hellooooooo. I'm all shiny and perky because of exfoliation. How is your week so far? Any travel updates for the Great North? Do tell..

After dad sold the last milking weasel, I was grief stricken. I needed a direction and purpose that six years of college had failed to provide.
I joined a convent. I thought it would bring peace and clarity. Instead, it was quite the opposite.
Sister Ethyl had tickling parties and I grew tired of hiding at shower time. So I moved to a small island and collected old glass balls on the beach.
Loneliness and exzema would not permit that life for long, however. When it became possible to own both a curling iron and a computer, things took a turn for the better.
Jezabell, I worked up an appetite! I can't for the life of me imagine why they are allowing this nonsense to fester to this extent.
Bored editors or blissful ignorance, or maybe someone just likes their lunchtime hobby of airline mini bottles and researching the Baltic region, go figure...ltrgtr, J.

Still stuck at the office? Well, relief is in sight.. I'll have some energy water and summon the tgif spirits.
I began to crochet after a long spell of idle hands. I found my uncle's old book with good techniques. Think it's called the happy hooker, some foreign gal really invented some tricky maneuvers. I can't believe that they aren't challenging and/or messy as well...
I ran a few of the more complex patterns by my dh, who was at first startled, but became surprisingly receptive.. in fact, sometimes, I read a passage to him, just to test for Christmas ideas.
She may have taught English before she wrote her book, since there is one pattern for comma suture or some such name.. I guess it was warm there, as the people didn't seem to care for modern dress, but I don't like to judge.
**Oh Kal, did you call Rush today so we understand why he had the little helpers with the dr.'s name?**
Look at the time. The church ladies will be here soon and I have yet to put on Enya music and light the pina colada candles.
Ever so calmly yours, J.

I decided to do a good turn and check how the boys were doing at the work site nearby. The nail gun is a menacing tool, sort of a mini jackhammer and a raspy phlegm cough all at once.
After harboring erotic thoughts about Jon Lovitz in his satin bathrobe, I ended up at Subway and ordered four footlongs to go. I can't know for certain what the petite sammie maker was thinking, maybe wondering why my hair was such a rat's nest when I'm normally more pulled together. I could have made a lame remark about being out of hairspray, but I don't care to give away personal info. before 3 p.m.
So after delivering my small band of hooligans their meals, I stopped at the new neighbors to introduce myself.
The Wyoming plate intrigued me, as did the mechanical bull in the driveway. insert &quot;travel talk&quot;. I was hoping to try it out, since my thighs are calloused from the old days, but she said everyone pays their quarter, welcoming committee or not.
Anyway, I have a blinding headache from our wind, being in the outdoors all day and being forced to listen to some evangelists shrieking from a bullhorn in town. Holding up signs is one thing, but blasting the scary stuff is another. They have no idea what eternal torture is anyway, unless they have heard my oldest son's c.d collection!
Tammy Faye and Jim were good for a laugh, these people were small, pale and without a leader. Why do they have to be obnoxious? A small monkey would be an attention getter at least.
They should do something honest and profitable. Stacking particle board or importing lychee nuts perhaps.
At least I'm alone this evening. I'm going to look on ESPN for a good fight, get a nice glass of wine and settle in.
Lucky 195, J.

Is it time for someone's nap? I-)

I'm not having what she's having. . .

I am awake, as it's a mere 8 p.m. now! I am prone to headaches very so often and being in the bright son and not eating enough just about did me in.
I took a rare long bath with one of those Lush bath bombs and feel like a new woman:)
Anyway, it's almost time to see old latex coated Hasselhoff judging the few and proud and talented.
Thanks for shouting out.. I told my dh if this thing reaches the 200 mark, I'll do my special herkimer jump on the trampoline, wearing only a smile!
Glad he went fishing tonight though, he'll never know the awful truth,lol.

oh Nora, you might be impressed if you're a wine drinker, because my S.A. cousins promised to smuggle in some of Stellenbosch's best offerings. J.