Flying with a baby
 

I've read the numerous previous posts about flying with infants, and I'm not trying to start a war. I will be flying from Pittsburgh to Phoenix next week with my 13 month old son. My husband will not be joining us, so it's just me and Baby.

I had not planned on taking our car seat because it is very heavy and awkward, and because my sister-in-law has one for us to use once we're in Phoenix. I've read the dangers of lap babies, but I'm also pretty sure I can't just strap him into the adult seatbelt - is that correct??

If so - what advice do all of you traveling parents have for managing all of the baby gear?? I'm going to have a suitcase on wheels, umbrella stroller, small backpack, and purse. I can check the stroller and suitcase, but I still have to find a way to get it to the ticket counter when I depart PIT and back to the car (it's a long walk!) when I return.

Any advice appreciated!! Thanks.

After great advice from fodorites, I managed just fine with a 10 month old. And, I'm flying alone with her again this weekend to Florida. Anyways, the baby is in the stroller, backpack is on your back, purse is hanging on the stroller, carseat is strapped to the rolling luggage with a bungee cord. It'll be difficult to push the stroller with one hand and wheel the suitcase behind you but people will get out of your way when they see you coming! After you check the suitcase, you can either drag the carseat behind you or place it on the back of the umbrella stroller (if there is a pocket underneath) and steer while holding on to it.

You'll be happy so you have the extra seat for your child. When you board the plane, the flight attendant will carry the carseat for you to your seat. Have him/her place it in your child's seat (window seat I'm assuming), then you slide into the row, place your baby in the middle seat, place the back pack on the floor and get the carseat buckled in.

Once you have done this on your own, you will be a pro! Good luck!

Do NOT check the stroller. Gate check it and they'll bring to to you as you get off the plane. If you plan on carrying your son, use the stroller to carry all the other stuff you'll need. To try and take him through the airport without a stroller could prove a real challenge.

If you've purchased him a seat, you'll still need to hold him as you take-off and land. The issue as I've always understood it is where they when the seat-belt sign is on, not when the flight is between destinations.

We've flown with our two toddlers fairly often. We've found the biggest challenge to be fighting off boredom. To combat that, we'll usually take away a few of their favorite toys a week or so before traveling and reintroduce them en route. We also will pick up a new toy or book and give it to them on the plane. I found the Baby Einstein flash cards with animals and objects a good way to kill time.

If you have a portable DVD player, or can find room for one in the budget, they are a really, really good way keep you son occupied.

I just flew with my son who was 4 months old. Take your stroller to the gate. They will check it in there. It will go with the luggage and them be waiting for you when you come off the plane.

You can strap him in the seat if you bought one for him. I did not bring my carseat. If I did, I would have to have checked it in with the luggage.

If you are worried, hire a proter to take you to the gate and such. I found everyone to be very helpful. I am not sure what airlines you are flying; I felw NW and they were helpful.

If it makes you feel any better, I did all this while I was traveling with my 85 year old grandma who does not get around independently.

I think you need to bring a car seat on the plane. I can't imagine a 13 month old strapped into an adult seat w/a flimsy airplane seat belt. I've found my kids traveled really well in their car seats on planes since they were so familiar w/their car seat they just fell right asleep.

You can only bring the carseat if you have paid for a seat. I did not pay for a seat, so I checked my carseat at the gate along with the stroller. I have one of those travle systems. It worked out well.

If you have a separate seat for your son, I thought it was mandatory for you to place him in a carseat. Also, I didn't think that you could hold on to him during takeoff and landing if you have a carseat available. But, I am not absolutely certain about the FAA regulations.

Personally, I would not pay for a seat. Holding is better. I went from Detroit to Lax, a 5 hour flight adn it was fine.

Besides, safety should not be an issue...if you know what I mean..

Out of curiousity, I did a Google search on this. One of the items that came up was Southwest's policy. While mentioning that they offer child-fares to allow you to buy a seat and use a carrier, it does say that you MUST at all times use the carrier if they have their own seat.

If I were you, I'd think about calling your airline and get their exact policy. Even the FAA language on child carriers words it as "advises" not requires.

I have flown several times with my infant--when he was 3 weeks old, and 3 times when he was 10 months old. We'll be doing it again when he is 13 months old. Fully aware that a car seat is safest, I also was travelling alone each time and needed to pare down, so I opted not to use the carseat. Here are your options: you can either purchase a seat for the child (and use the car seat to strap him in), or put him on your lap. I chose option 2. Just so you know, they WILL NOT LET YOU put your seatbelt around both of you. You will wear the seat belt; he will sit in your lap with no restraint other than your arms. I tend to agree with tinathetoad, that if safety is so much of an issue that my arms cannot restrain him from turbulence or whatever, then we are probably dealing with a life-threatening situation (in which a car seat or any device is not going to be much more help). Of course, that's just me. I am sure many others travel more safely, and that's their choice.

Here are my tips:
kcapuani and others have given you good advice. Gate check the stroller for sure. Check the luggage and pay a skycap to get it for you.

In your backpack be sure to have plenty to drink...if your son is swallowing repeatedly during takeoff and landing this will greatly help his ears. (Be sure not to give the cup too soon--like JUST BEFORE you are actually taking off--not during taxi, as he could down the cupful before you even get off the runway).

As soon as you board the plane ask for a bottle of water and a snack. The attendant will bring it to you early and it wil be a treat to occupy your child as soon as you are seated, while everyone else is boarding.

Either don't take your purse or pack it (empty) in your suitcase for when you arrive, and while you travel put your essentials on your body (pockets) or in the backpack.

The entire trip will be relatively easy except for security. This will be the hardest challenge. You'll have to take the baby out of the stroller to send the stroller through the camera and, well, it's just a pain with an extra squirmy body. Just take a deep breath and don't rush on everyone else's account...this is one time you just need to do what is best for you.

Having flown with both of my children when they were your sons age I'd have to say you would definitely be better off with him in his carseat. You may not put the strap around him if you did not purchase a seat.
Is he walking yet? If so, an even better reason to get a seat. It is not a short flight from Pittsburgh to Phoenix. The carseat is also the safest place for him.
We made the mistake of not buying a seat for our daughter when she was 14 mos old. We flew from Denver to Maui--it was he-- after one hour. And she's a very good, pleasant calm baby--just bored.
Good luck.

I was always so happy when my kids turned 2 so I didn't have to feel cheap and do the lap-baby thing. I actually invested in a sit-n-stroll, which is a combo stroller and car seat that is FAA approved. It's kind of clunky, not the best car seat and not the best stroller, but it's great for travel, especially to places where you'll be using a lot of taxis. One other thing: I laughed out loud at the post that said a flight attendant would help carry a car seat. Really? I've never had a flight attendant help me with my kids or car seats. Usually I feel as if they are pretty rude and waiting for me to do something wrong. I've struggled and ended up black and blue trying to negotiate a narrow plane path with small child, car seat, diaper bag and purse. I've always managed, but on no airline on not one occasion was I offered any kind of help.

Sorry, but it's not the Flight Attendants job to help people with their carry-on luggage or their children's car seats. On the rare occasions when they do, it's a plus but no one should never expect anyone other then themselves to take care of carry-ons.

I flew US Air and the flight attendant just took the carseat from me as I was boarding the plane. I did not ask her to carry it for me. So, it obviously depends on the FA. We'll see what happens this weekend as I am flying US Air again. Regardless of whether you are given assistance by a FA, most airlines will allow you to pre-board so you can can take your time getting on the plane as you precariously balance your child on one hip and the car seat on the other :)

I was once on a flight that dropped thousands of feet after coming off of "air bubbles" as the captain said. Everything that wasn't strapped down hit the ceiling, including drink carts and flight attendents. People that were not seat belted in had neck injuries, broken noses, and one broken arm where a drink cart had landed.

I realize this is an extreme that happens rarely, but if it were to happen and weren't expecting it, could you for sure hold on to your child?

TravelingMom, I have been on more then one flight that had bad turbulence. I cannot imagine how I could have held a baby in my lap and protected it with just my arms. Please think carefully about this.

Thanks for all the great advice so far. My son is very well traveled - he's already flown round trip to Germany, Cozumel, and Phoenix and has made several flights to and from Norfolk. I've done the Norfolk flights by myself before and they've been quick and easy. I'm just a bit more nervous about this one because I'm not only on my own for the (very long) flight, but also for getting myself from the car to the plane and back in Pittsburgh.

I haven't yet purchased a seat for him, but there are still seats available so I'm definitely considering that option - both for his safety and my sanity!

I have a backpack carrier that I'm debating on using instead of the stroller - any thoughts on this? It might make it easier for me to lug the car seat through the airport...

Just curious. The child has flown to Germany and Cozumel, I would think a flight from pitt to phoenix would be a breeze even if you are alone.

I would advise having your husband at least help you check in and get thru security. And, bring the carseat and Dimetapp.

Nantucket - I'm also thinking that the flight itself should be OK...although I'm a little hesitant to be too confident about that! :) I'm more worried about doing it all by myself. My husband will be out of town himself on a business trip, so it's all up to me!

I was hoping to not bring the car seat, but I also feel like that would be an irresponsible decision...

I'm going to try to stay out of the buy a seat/don't buy a seat debate. However I will tell you that as long as the flight isn't full they will let you use your car seat in an empty seat. You can call the airline ahead, tell them your situation, and ask for them to put you next to an empty seat (of course there is no guarantee that seat will remain empty). You can bring your car seat all the way to the gate and then check it there if the flight does fill up and and you need to do the lap thing.

I don't know if helping a mom w/a small child board is technically part of a FA's job description, but I think any good one would do it. Anyone who does their job well in any profession cares about their customers and does what they can to help. Besides, don't they announce that people who "need assistance boarding" board first - this does indeed imply that they are offering assistance!!

A friend of mine bought this device, a harness-type thing, that held a lap baby securely. She bought it at Toys R Us or someplace, and it was FAA approved. Sort of like a Baby Bjorn but designed for air travel. You might check this out.

It seems that a couple of these problems have esy solutions:

If the parking lot is too far from the terminal - don;t drive - take a cab insterad and save the hassles.

If you truly have so much stuff that you can;t manage it from the check-in to the gate have get or hire someone to help you - most airlines willoffer this.

As for the set/noseat thing - I can;timagine anyone who wil lrisk their child's life by not paying for a seat with approved type of car seat. (Would you go for a 5-hour drive with your child just lying on the back seat? Well, this is the equivalent.)

And the assumptions about turbulence are incorrect. There are many flights that experience significant turbulence without any major ill effect to the plane. (By the way - the Pittsburgh airport area is well known to have more than its fair share of such turbulence.) I have been on several flights that were so turbulent that adults too stupid or stubborn to fasten their seat belts received minor injuries. Think about how your child would fare under such circumstances - will you keep him in a death grip for the entire trip?

Please reconsider this very carefully before putting your child at unnecessary risk.

I don't mean to sound nasty, but have you considered that you will not be sitting next to your husband, but next to a stranger? If you end up next to a large person AND you have a child on your lap, you are going to be miserable. And, on the flipside, how is your 13 month old going to react to the stranger? Just bringing this up because I had the misfortune of sitting next to a lap baby. He constantly reached over and grabbed my hair, kicked a foot into my food, dropped assorted items (books, juice boxes, and toys) into my lap. When he got tired of sitting he did this stretch/stiffening out thing which slammed his feet into the chair in front of him & socked me in the face with his fist. There is so little personal space to begin with, why make a bad situation worse? Again, I am not trying to be nasty, I just always address the worst case scenario.

Baby Bjorns, slings, and things like that are prohibited by the FAA for use during takeoff and landing.

Something tells me Bugswife never had kids.

"He did the strech/stiffening thing".

But I'm not trying to be nasty, I(you) just are.

sfamylou mentioned a Baby Bjorn type of thing for flying. I'm pretty sure this is the Baby B'air. www.babybair.com. As GoTravel said, this type of thing isn't approved for takeoff & landings. It is supposed to be for during flight. I've never used one, so can't comment on it. Perhaps someone else has?

I was just reading an article about the number of deaths of babies on planes simply due to turbulence or a rough landing--they fly out of their parent's arms. It was very disturbing (and now I wish I could remember where in the world I read it. I read too many things) and has more than convinced me to always buy a seat for my soon-to-be-born baby.

When you gate check the stroller, does that count against your total number of checked items? And do you leave the base on the car seat?

http://www.cpsafety.com/articles/airplanetravel.aspx

Why should I buy a separate seat for my child when he can fly on my lap for free?:

- Safety:
Turbulence, sudden stops and emergency landings present a huge risk to the lap child. First, in severe turbulence, it is unlikely that the parent would be able to hold on to their child. It is very likely that the child would be tossed around the passenger cabin and sustain serious injuries or even be killed. Second, in emergency landings, parents of lap children are instructed to wrap their child in blankets and place the child at their feet. Children have died in survivable landings when they were thrown through the cabin. Unrestrained children also pose a hazard to other passengers - when a 20 lb child is thrown through the cabin in an accident, he would have a force of 1000 lbs (at only 50 mph, much more at higher speeds) when striking another person or object. Third, parents who are able to hold on to their children in a sudden stop or collision will very likely end up using that child as a "human air bag". Children have actually been "crushed to death" by the parent on whose lap they were sitting.

From the American Academy of Pediatrics Policy Statement on Restraint Use on Aircraft:

"Occupant protection policies for children younger than 2 years on aircraft are inconsistent with all other national policies on safe transportation. Children younger than 2 years are not required to be restrained or secured on aircraft during takeoff, landing, and conditions of turbulence. They are permitted to be held on the lap of an adult. Preventable injuries and deaths have occurred in children younger than 2 years who were unrestrained in
aircraft during survivable crashes and conditions of turbulence. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a mandatory federal requirement for restraint use for children on aircraft. The Academy further recommends that parents ensure that a seat is available for all children during aircraft transport and follow current recommendations for restraint use for all children. Physicians play a significant role in counseling families, advocating for public policy mandates, and encouraging technologic research that will improve protection of children in aircraft."

- Convenience:
Your child should be used to sitting in their car seat every time they are in the car. An airplane ride should be no different. It may even be easier. A lap child will not understand the need to stay in your lap and may want to get down and run around the passenger cabin. Not only does this pose a risk to your child, but it can be a hazard to other passengers and flight attendants who need to go down the narrow aisle. While it will be difficult to hang on to a child who is squirmy and cranky in your lap, it may be very easy to entertain a child in their comfortable, familiar car seat. Many children also fall asleep in their car seat, making the trip more pleasant for parents and passengers alike.

- Child Safety Seat Issues:
The best way to get a child to happily use a car seat is to use it all the time, every time. Make no exceptions. If the child isn't buckled in, the car doesn't go. Using a car seat on an airplane only serves to reinforce the "no exceptions" policy. And since a child who has used a car seat all the time, every time, since day one is used to being in it, they won't notice any difference on an airplane (and may travel better than a baby who's suddenly forced to stay on your lap)

TravelingMom: How big is your 13-month-old son? I'm asking because my son was 14 months old the first time we flew with him. My son has always been off the charts when it comes to his size. We chose not to do the car seat. He sat and slept on me the entire flight. He was fine and slept for most of the flight but my neck and back were killing me at the end of the flight! We never did that again and took his car seat from then on. What a difference! He did great in his car seat and we were all more comfortable during those flight hours.
Now, I have never flown by myself with him for exactly your dilemna. I cannot imagine carrying all that stuff and dealing with him all by myself.
Can you see if there's anyway you can strap the car seat on top of your suitcase with wheels? My husband figured out a way to do that with ours. There are some car seats that are lighter than others, although it would kinda silly to buy one just for the flight.
I agree with others who say DON'T CHECK your stroller, but GATECHECK it.
The backpack is a great idea. I wouldn't do a small one though, but rather a bigger one so you could put his stuff like diapers, change of clothers, toys and your valuables (wallet, tickets, etc...) in it. You could then nix the purse. If you need to bring a purse, pack it (without your valuables of course). One less item for you to carry around.
Good luck.

Please buy a seat for your baby. I cannot count how many times we have flown with our children, and we started when they were 3 weeks old. We did one flight without buying a seat, out of pure ignorance. To this day I cannot believe I did that, but I did not realize the dangers at the time.

You will be able to manage all the items. Yes, it can be cumbersome, but it is doable. I have flown with a toddler and newborn without my dh, and somehow I managed. I know there are others out there that have managed more than that too.

The biggest piece of advice I can offer (after buying a separate seat) is to just go with the flow and stay relaxed. The more relaxed you are the easier the trip will be.

For some parents (not saying that TravelingMom is one of them), it is a cost issue as to whether to buy a separate seat. I realize that this is not the ideal basis on which a parent should make the decision to have a separate seat but it is a reality. It is very discouraging to purchase a separate seat for your child (as I have done several times in the past) only to discover that other parents on the plane who have not purchased a seat simply take up three seats when they only purchased two.

Bring a carseat and gate check your stroller. Find a sky cap to help.

Also, bring yourself a change of clothes, in addition to the baby's.

A deck of cards is great fun--my 14 mo old killed an hour passing them back and forth to me.

Most of all, remember: YOU WILL NEVER SEE THESE PEOPLE AGAIN. DON'T SWEAT IT.

themanfromnantucket-whether or not i have children is irrelevent. just as it is of no importance to me whether or not you have kids. children are great BUT can you not be honest and admit that sometimes they try your patience just a bit? have you ever spent 3 hours next to a toddler who squirmed in his mom's lap the entire time because he wanted to get up and walk around? I am not being nasty, I am just asking that people who bring small children on to planes think about the person sitting next to them. you have no idea why i am flying--maybe to a funeral, or for a business meeting & no idea how the disruption of having juice thrown all over my presentation documents affects my time. but of course, let's just all tiptoe around the whole issue by saying 'kids will be kids'. that may be true, but there needs to be some responsibility on the part of the parent. So, call me nasty if it makes you feel better.

Oh, and by the way nantucket, that attitude of yours is one of the reasons why people without kids roll their eyes at people like you when you board the plane with your family.

Really, I had no clue people "rolled" their eyes when passengers board a plane with kids. An example of how selfish you are. Maybe those people boarding planes with kids are also going to a funeral, or wedding, or a family trip.

Maybe that "large" person you refer to is YOU, and , people may always roll their eyes when the likes of you board the plane.

Children don't try your patience a bit, they try it alot, more than anyone can imagine before having kids.

You have set the tone by basically insulting all people here who travel with kids, by "rolling" you eyes.

Next time a parent is having a tough time with a kid on a plane, be civil and offer some help. That is what people like me do.

I have flown by myself with a 4 year old and an infant. I had the infant in an umbrella stoller and held onto the car seat. I checked the stroller at the cabin door and strapped the baby into the car seat. I had seats purchased for all three of us. When we landed the captain was standing there with my stroller and asked how the flight was. It was so nice. From there I gathered the luggage and made my way down to the car rental counter. I had luggage with wheels but you can ship your stuff ahead of your flight. Is there no one who can drop you at the airport and pick you up? That's probably the part you could use some help.

manfromnantucket, why would you say bugswife is selfish?

All I can add to this is that traveling for leisure and traveling for business are night and day.

When you are flying for business, any and every little thing makes you crazy. All leisure travelers are a pain in the ass and you hate them. Business travelers can spot each other and have a secret in-the-know understanding.

Love,
GoTravel:::::::::100,000+ Frequent Flyer Miles in 2003::::::::All for work!

Pertaining to the post at 4:09pm. Nobody knows why other people travel. To assume that one persons trip is more important than anothers is imbecilic and selfish.

manfromnantucket-i am not about to get into a debate with you about children and etiquette, nor about whether or not I should offer assistance to parents and their kids. that is just too ridiculous for words. if you can't handle your kids (and from your posts, I gather that you can't), then stop breeding. i am EXTREMELY tolerant of other peoples children & have offered assistance in many circumstances. It would be really nice if those parents thought as much about people that don't want to be bothered with their kids. the bottom line is, children are unpredictable and can be disruptive. if you buy the child a seat, you minimize trauma to others AND keep your child safe. why on earth do you have a problem with that? And, by large person I meant TALL too. You know, the poor guy who has his knees up to his chin and doesn't have an inch in his lap to spare for Barney or a juice box. So quit trying to make it look like I am offending the world. You are just looking to cause trouble.

You won't enter a debate about that because you can't. And I question your comprehension, where did I write I can't handle my kids?

It is always my opinion that the parents with NO children are the ones giving out advice. Bugswife is the perfect example. Dogmatic at the least.