Doesn't Anyone Just Relax on Vacation?
 

I read everyone's amazing trips and planning and begin to wonder whether I am the only person who relaxes and just hangs out while I'm on vacation. Isn't the joy of going to Key West, for instance, that you DON'T have to do anything, that you don't have to stick to a schedule?

When I go to a city, for instance, I plan one or two things to do in a day. Then, if I want to sit in a park reading a book or drinking coffee and watching the people go by, I can. Of course, I am also going to sleep late. Does anyone else vacation like this?

Dear MikeT,
My modus operandi during travel is similar to yours. I usually have a couple of "must-sees" on my agenda, but I let my activities or lack of them be dictated more by my mood than anything else. I usually travel alone, so I can indulge in this more so, it seems.
Recent experience: I was in a small city in the Netherlands (Maastricht) with a morning free to explore. I went to a well-known and busy cafe intending to just grab a coffee and then see the sights. However, I was so taken with the atmosphere at the cafe (Blanche Dael Coffee Lovers, to be specific) that I stayed for over an hour to people-watch and eat a second breakfast! Then I went on my way to "see the sights", having seen much I had not planned on at first. So that's serendipity for you - I find it very relaxing.

It definitely depends on where I'm going. If I want a "relax" type of vacation, I'll go on a cruise or some beach-y type resport where there is not much to do. I can certainly spend an afternoon reading a good book, but my husband (my most frequent travel companion) gets bored easily.

If I'm going to a city or area where I have never been I can't just sit around, I have to make sure I see everything.

When I went to Key West, I just vegged out with my travel companion. We did what we wanted, when we wanted. Stayed up late reading and relaxing, woke up whenever we felt like it and enjoyed our days shopping and just looking around. We scheduled a boat trip and that's the only thing we scheduled the entire trip. Had a great, relaxing vacation.

However, we also went to Disney World with 11 other family members and even though we were tired by the end of the trip, it was great being with our family and having fun.

Some vacations are hectic, others are relaxing, but all of them are ENJOYABLE.

Well ... sort of. I always relax more on beach/cruise type vacations than on city vacations. But for both types I plan and plan and plan some more. The thing is, once we are there, I have no problem going "off memo" as my DH calls it, either to relax or to do something that catched our eye that wasn't planned. The planning and lists are a tool not strict marching orders ... if we want to do something all the info is right there ... if we want to lay out by the pool or try the italien place we just happended to walk past .. no problem. Basically I don't mind deciding to skip stuff we planned to do BUT hate the feeling we missed something b/c we didn't know about it or tried to do it the day it was closed or something. Plus the research and planning is so much fun for me that I get months of enjoyment from a trip rather than just the 7 or so days from the trip itself. :)

Interesting thoughts. I go away with a group of girlfriends a couple times a year - I'm a female - don't get too excited. :-) and we're about split down the middle. A few of us, including myself hate to sit and relax and the rest want to do nothing but. Must be a personality thing. I just want to see and experience everything and can only relax at the end of the day. I guess I figure I can sit and relax at home. And I HATE sleeping in - I just feel like I'm missing too much. I have a trip planned to New York City this month and even though I've been a few times before, I have an 8 page itinerary. Crazy I know. So funny how we're all so different. Thanks for bringing this up - my travel buddies always have a good laugh over the different "vacation styles" we have.

Yikes .. I really need to proof read before I post.

Not me...

My kids refer to it as vacationing like Dad!

Up at sunrise....best photo ops at this time! Busy doing stuff most of the day and more photo ops at sunset. If I don't see and do what the area has to offer, I have failed. Go to bed early. Repeat.

It is my theory that you can sit around and read (which I do) at home. Why would one want to do that on vacation when there is so much to see? I got people to see and things to do...let's go!

My wife loves this about me. In hindsight of course!

I'm like McQueeney....... plan but don't mind at all changing plans. I plan much more when we go to Hawaii, because we are never there as long as I'd like to be (like the rest of my life!) so I want to eat everywhere, and see anything new, etc. Where I relax the most is at Emerald Isle, N.C. in the beach house.......... then we read, walk on the beach, watch movies, eat at home a lot. (sign....... wish I were there!) But my husband gets bored easily, so we can only sit still so long!

My thoughts exactly placeu2! Good to hear there's others like me. Have a blast on your next vacation. I'm not judging others of course - my tea drinking, relaxing on the beach buddies have a great time too - in their own boring way of course. :-) Just kidding!

Mike T:

So funny that you would ask this today!

I am planning a huge South America Trip and my "helper" had suggested some days to RELAX!

We discussed this because I do not travel to relax. Now I do relax while I travel but, I do not travel to relax.

We came up with ONE day out of aproximately 40 where I would "relax" and that is ONLY because it is been medically documented that you HAVE to let your body adjust to the altitude change in Peru....least you be sick!

Sad, funny but true...

We deleted or "filled" up 5 "relax" days with stuff to see or do!

I guess I figure that you go that far and spend all that time and money that it is best to see and do as much as you can.

I'll relax on the plane...SMILE!

Oaktown Traveler

MikeT: I know what you mean. My problem is that I can't imagine going to another country and not see everything. So the hubby and I now try to do at least one of our vacations a "just to relax" one. We pick a place where there isn't much to do so we won't feel guilty about "just relaxing". But you know what, even going to a place where we run around seeing this and doing that...despite being physically tired and needing a vacation from that particular vacation...my mind always feels rejuvenated. Know what I mean? :-)

That is a question that I have thought too, especially b/c I am planning a trip to Hawaii this August and have been reading all the posts about people's Hawaii's trips. I am amazed at how busy a lot of trips seem! I just flag things I want to see, and only plan ahead days for things that I need to plan ahead (e.g. scuba diving, which can't be too close to a plane flight or mountain ascent). 90% of my trip to Hawaii is going to Hawaii is to sit, relax, eat, swim, etc. We usually do most planning by reading the books on the plane to where going, and we always plan to sleep late.

Interesting responses.

I've vacationed with people who were "planners" and crack-of-dawn types and had a great time. The compromise is that we don't commit to spend all of our time together. They give me their agenda and I'll say, "how about if I go here and here, then spend the rest of the day by myself" or how about I catch up with you at lunch or dinner.

I am another person who likes to pack as much into vacation as possible, even if I am exhausted when I go back to work. I find the jam packed vacation to be mentally relaxing. I did a week at the beach once and the first day on the beach doing nothing but reading was great but by the third day, I was ready to scream-only a day trip to Charleston saved me. I guess we each have our idea of what a vacation should be.

No, I fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way.

=D>

Pink Floyd fan DB??

How much relaxing time vs how much sightseeing time we have on vacation depends largely on the type of vacation we are taking and our needs at the time.

Either way, I try not to schedule too much in any particular day. If we are taking a tour in the morning on a particular day, the afternoon I like to leave open - open to relax, find some spur of the moment activity, or whatever. I usually have a list of must-sees, which I plan out and a list of interesting things that I would like to see if we get to them. Sometimes I think that the best way to experience a place is to find a good spot to hang out and just watch things unfold.

Next week we are going to be in Yosemite for 5 days. There are several hikes I am interested in and a couple scenic drives. We might do all of them or just a couple. We might get there and decide that lounging by the river playing cards and drinking sangria for 5 days is exactly what the doctor ordered. I don't know. Either way, I am bringing my hiking boots and the cards to cover my bases.

It does seem like the active vacation gets a lot of discussion lately.

We're going to do a lot of walking, driving and sightseeing on our next vacation. I think I like it that way. If I stay busy, I find I'm not letting my mind wander off to work and home. Maybe if my job was more physical, I'd want a relaxing vacation where I had lots of down time. In that I (and a lot more people these days) have a job where I work at a computer, I need to get up out of that chair in order to get that temporary change of lifestyle.

Lots of people take slower-paced vacations, but this is a travel advice forum. If you just want to go somewhere and laze on a veranda, you don't need that much help. On the other hand, if you want to debate the pros and cons of this day trip, compare tours, ask for best sights to visit, you'll be on this board writing more.

MikeT: You got the right idea. That's why we leave Miami on a Saturday. And don't get to Key West on Wednesday. 'Bout 30-35 miles a day. Keys speed. Heck, you could even do it on a conch cruiser! (Get an awful sunburn, though...)

Hi! Good question. I am wondering if jam packing vacations goes along with our society these days. Most people get 2 weeks of vacation a year and want to make the most of their time and money during vacation. Sometimes, I will hear people talk about their trips and say "I need a vacation after my vacation." As for me, it depends on the destination. My husband and I went to Playa del Carmen for our honeymoon a few years ago and we really just hung out on the beach the whole time except walking into town one day. That is what we wanted to do though. We are now planning for a trip to Europe in 2005 and I know that we will stay pretty busy seeing things but I know we will relax as well. It does depend on your personality but I think if you stay too busy on vacation you can get burned out.

Good thought Mike. We want relaxation but also want things to do if we ge the urge. Nothing over the top, just some nice sightseeing at our leisure.

Reading this post made me realize an interesting pattern I have fallen into these last few years. Months before a trip I do tons of voracious research and make copious notes and schedule each day. When we are actually there, we enjoy the relaxation part of it so much we don't want to go running around. (This is especially true of tropical vacations.) Like many others here, we keep a few key things and go with the flow the rest of the time. On a recent trip to NYC for instance, the weather was so beautiful we sat for hours at an outdoor cafe people-watching. On another day we had a blast watching the dogs jump in and out of the water at Bethesda Fountain in Central Park. It's the unexpected things you make time for that make a trip special.

I try really hard to take a relaxing vacation every once in a while. I teach full time, plus my hubby and I own a business, plus I'm active in clubs and politics. I NEED to relax. If I'm at home, there is always something I should be doing. I also have an aging mother who needs more time for little things she needs done. If I'm home, I feel obligated to do all those things that are piling up. I hardly ever have time to relax at home and just read a book! Vacation is for that. But at least a third of my trips are business related and, if not hectic, they are at least busy with "required" things to do!

This must be why I cruise or go to a beach (FLA, Oahu etc) alone!! No hubby, no phone, nothing to do but veg out!! I go at my own pace and do only what I want to do!

I am fortunate in that I have lots more than the typical two week vacation every year. I get to travel on "major" trips at least 4 or 5 times a year, often covering both Asia and Europe in the same year.

So to answer the original post... YES, I take vacations just to relax (when I can).

No, I find sitting around "relaxing" to be boring. If I wanted to do nothing, I could do it at home where I'm guaranteed a comfortable bed, a wonderful shower, and as much room as I need. Fortunately, my husband agrees, so it works for us.

Don't like the beach much, just people watching loses it's appeal quickly, and I always feel like I'm missing something.

For me, great vacations are: a Western ski week, a theater weekend in NY, or going someplace new and learning what makes that place special.

I too do not like to sleep in when on vacation, however, I'm not a party/night person who stays up late (usually in bed by 10 pm). I always rationalize that if I wanted to sleep in late I could have stayed home. Actually getting up early is so pleasurable, the crowd is still asleep, especially if you go to a popular beach resort, and walk around at 6 or 7 a.m. It's like having the beach all to yourself. What is also nice is a Saturday/Sunday morning stroll in D.C. right at or around the Capitol - no tour buses around the Smithsonian Air & Space yet, no loud noises.

I am definitely a night person, especially on a city trip. I love to take in the vibrancy of a city at night. That means I do like to sleep in a little in the day. That being said, I do a lot of planning in advance to make sure that I know what I want to do and see in the day. I agree with others that it is best to have a plan but also to be willing to go off-plan, depending on how you feel, what you stumble across, what the weather is like, etc.

Just relax....NO WAY! Way to borning for us. We like to travel while on vacation to different locations, hike, sitesee but we will take time to relax at beautiful different settings along the way.

Utahtea

I don't think I have ever taken a vacation that others would deem relaxing. I travel to see new things, not relax-- I can stay home and do that. When I travel, I want to get the most out of my trip and for me that means seeing as much of the area as possible in the limited time given.

We are such voracious TRAVEL JUNKIES that being on the go exploring IS relaxing! We try to see and do as much as we can everywhere we go, but always leave wiggle room in case something catches our eye. Having said that, we do love the long beach weekend but even then we try to find something new and special to do. Again, to us, that IS relaxing.

As my fave jon bon jovi says, you can sleep when you're dead! ;)

Interesting replies.

I think that I probably am one of those people who just doesn't like being scheduled. I read people's trip itineraries and they sound more akin to the Bataan Death March then a vacation. We must do this, this, this, and this today. Sound too much like work.

Admittedly, however, I don't have kids so I don't need to keep them entertained so that's not my priority. If I want to come back to the hotel in the middle of the day and take a nap or put my feet up, I do. Maybe I'm just really lazy. <g>

I've enjoyed the responses too.

For me, and my family, doing more active-type activities is what's relaxing, or rather, what makes the vacation a change from the everyday routine. I recently realized (duh) why I'm not interested in a spa day or vacation - when I have free time (ha), my idea of fun is to go biking or horseback riding, not sitting around indoors.

That's not to say that on either grownups-only or kids-included vacations we don't do slower-paced things, too. We include leisurely breakfasts, time on the beach watching seals, picnic lunches, and so on. And our city trips always include people-watching and cafe-sitting (or playground-sitting with takeout coffee).

And I'm mid-range on the pre-scheduling. For our upcoming trip (with kids), we've had to make reservations for several activities in advance. But other than that, we have a "must-do" list and a "maybe-do" list, and we'll do whatever we feel like doing at the time.

I have never relaxed on vacation. The closest I came was when I was on an Alaskan cruise and we didn't port for 3 days. I loved the scenery, but I was bored just being on the ship. All of my past travels have been filled with things to do and see.

I couldn't imagine going to NYC and spending my precious vacation time reading a book! I used to think that people who wanted to "just go lay on a beach somewhere" were dull twits with no interest in other cultures, history, etc. But then I realized that many of those people are parents with hectic schedules filled with mommy/daddy chores. I don't have children, so if I want to go home after work and relax with a glass of wine, a book, a facial or what not, I can indulge my whims.

On vacation, I am looking for adventure and excitment; but I do understand why some people just want to chill and relax because they can't in their daily lives. Thankfully, their are places for all of us to enjoy:)

I'm also a 'non-relaxer'. I get bored to easy. And when I am somewhere new I have to see and do everything.
I have traveled with people who are not like this but we take time to go our own way during the day and maybe meet up for meals.
I usually don't refer to my trips as vacations but as trips.

there not their! I need to proof read my posts as well!

We mix it up. A relaxing vacation is 4 days in the carribean or something. European vacations are more hectic. However, I don't cram the days. If I see 80% of what is on my list, I consider the trip a success. I ALWAYS kill the day at 4pm so we can nap in the room for a few hours before heading out to dinner and our evening stroll or theater plans. I find this works well and keeps the hubby from getting too much 'overload'.

MikeT - LOL at the Bataan Death March comment. I don't like to be scheduled either. I like things to be more open ended so that we can adjust our plans if there is something interesting along the way. I like to have lodging taken care of and a few things planned, but also allow time for "Hey, what's that over there?"

I'm a chaise lounge by the pool/beach with Juan bringing me fruity umbrella cocktails kinda girl. My husband is an action and adventure kinda guy.

We alternate days.

Mike I am with you on that one!! Heck I love beach Vacations and just lounging and having no set plans!!
I just got back from a long weekend in Hawaii where I did almost no sightseeing. Just a drive around the island. I had fun, I relaxed and it was fine for me.
We stayed in Key West last summer. Chilled at the hotel and wandered around downtown, it worked for us. :)