bermyguy,
I just wanted to say best of luck with your engagement. She is such a lucky girl to have a man go to all this trouble to make sure he has the right ring. I am sure she will love which ever ring you decide on.Plus NY at Christmans time will be wonderful.Best of luck to the both of you, Kalik

You know, with all the other planning you've got going here, two months to decide where to buy an engagement ring is probably just too much pressure.

Besides, if you go all out and are successfully "impressive" in every way (hotel, dining, proposal, ring...) on this trip, you're setting an awfully high standards for yourself to live up to over and over again throughout your married life!

I'd like to pipe up here!

On bermyguy's previous post I suggested he buy a 'goofy' ring to propose with since his fiance wants to choose her engagement ring. This suggestion went down quite well from bermguy and other posters.

Bermyguy - I do fully understand your fiance wanting the choosing of the ring to be a joint experience.

Is this because she wants a big flashy ring or because she's worried that you might buy her one?

You sound like a lovely chap and rather like my own DH, who bends over backwards to please me. Most of the time I don't need to be 'pleased', I just enjoy us being together.

Would I want Tiffanys? No!
Does she? well only you can answer that question.

It will be a special weekend for the two of you, you don't need to go overboard on the romance.

Does she want to buy a ring in NY? She might just want to enjoy the NY experience without the pressure of finding the perfect ring.

Please whatever you do - don't overplan, it's a vacation - enjoy it.

Best Wishes to you both :-)

Alya,
Thanks for the post...again!!! You were pretty emphatic that you wouldn't be interested in Tiffanys. Can you explain why?

Thanks.

My wedding including two rings cost $65 and has lasted 30 years. Please make sure you are enjoying yourselves!!

Thanks Fairhope. Puts things in perspective...maybe the goofy ring will do...period!!!

Alya, great points, esp. about the pressure of "having" to get a ring, and enjoying the experience without overplanning.

One more thought, bermyguy, along the lines of alya's post. I know it's hard to do when you've planned long and hard to make the moment "perfect," but try to be flexible. Things might happen that are out of your control -- the weather, crowds, whatever. It doesn't really matter. When you ask her to marry you (and she says YES!) will be a memorable and wonderful occasion no matter what.

How do I know this? My husband planned to propose to me at the rooftop garden at the Metropolitan Museum. He rushed me over there for a drink before our dinner reservations at Les Halles (where we had our second date). He ordered two glasses of champagne and we looked out at picture-perfect September sunset. When he caught his breath, he suddenly realized that there were dozens upon dozens of other New Yorkers who were also gazing at the sunset! He was too nervous to propose in front of all those crowds. When I finally nudged him to leave before we missed our reservation, he stopped me in the middle of the sculpture court in the museum and popped the question. I was thrilled! Sure, it would have been a romantic and memorable proposal on the roof, but it was still romantic and memorable in the museum -- mainly because of the things that he said (which I will not share here, but were very memorable for me). There was no one around but a guard, who was delighted to share in our moment.

I guess my point is to make a plan, but remember that no matter how it happens precisely it will be absolutely perfect for your fiance!

Lisettemac,
Thanks for the post...at this stage I have virtually every angle covered...apart from a pre-proposal break up!!!

Ultimately, where the ring is bought will be my girlfriend's choice. I think Tiffany's will appeal to her although I will gently nudge her in the direction of some of the stores mentioned on this thread...again thanks to everyone for the help!!!

Will let you know how it goes...

I can't wait to hear about your trip! Good luck and have a lot of fun!

I'm a young (29 y/o), recently-married woman, so I have some experience in this arena. Here's what I think:

If you are not from NY, the only reason to buy a ring in NY is to take advantage of the great deals that can be found in the diamond district. To me,as a native NYer, *that* is a true NY experience.

Otherwise, you can buy an engagement ring at retail anywhere in the world. Truthfully, you can go to Tiffany in most major cities or the internet. Although I recognize that the NY store does carry its own cache, it's an absolute zoo. And most people in there (especially around the holidays) are tourists who are looking to buy a $120 Elsa Peretti trinket.

Other points to consider:

1. If you educate yourself (as several others have suggested), you can buy a gorgeous stone anywhere.

2. You will get more for your money in the diamond district than in Tiffany.

3. Tiffany has a limited number of settings that they offer, whereas a jeweler in the district can often custom design any setting you want.

Personally , I would NEVER spend the money at Tiffany's or Cartier or Harry Winston unless your name is Trump.

The diamonds,while good, are no different from anything you can get at either the diamond district or from a broker you may personally know. They are just MORE expensive.

Make sure your stone has GIA certification...forget about EGL certs as they are not the best.. Some diamonds are ENHANCED by equipment and you have NO idea what you are getting unless you know the jeweler.

I was really really picky when I got my engagement ring 30 years ago. Like an IDIOT I insisted on VVS and D quality. I could have gotten a much bigger stone if I dropped the quality down a bit and NO ONE would have known. No one takes the ring from your hand and sticks it under a microscope.

You want to make sure you see no flaws at 10 power microscope...if there are flaws , try to get one with the flaws in WHITE not black , as when set,you cannot see the white flaws...Also if the flaws are on the EDGE of the stone, the prongs or setting will hide it.

Take it from me--- I waited 25 years to get the stone I wanted...It is GORGEOUS-hubs got it from a diamond broker we knew and I got a great deal.

You do NOT need VVS D color...SO do your homework and look for a either a VS stone G-H color or SI stone also in G-H color. As long as you don't see YELLOW, that is what you are looking for.

Put all the stone you are looking at on a piece of WHITE paper...that way, you can see which is the whitest.

If I can add my 2 cents in, I would get a cheapie ring and propose and then make the weekend fun looking for the
" right ring".

My sis had a VERY romantic husband who put her ring in the bottom of a glass of champagne and had a cake made up with Will You Marry me? To me, that was THE most romantic engagement and took a LOT of thought.

Have fun whatever you do and Congrats!

VERY good points by LMWW and Andy!!

Don't get cheap now Andy.

Listen to Andy. Well said, sage advice. Tiffany does not have the status of years ago...as I mentioned earlier, Kwiat is a very old-line firm on 47th Street.

Bermyguy

I’m not sure I can properly explain why I wouldn’t enjoy the experience of buying an engagement ring in Tiffany’s, other than to say that it’s a bit too ‘obvious’ for me – What do I know? I was against proposing on a carriage ride :-)

Then again I’m not really the best person to give advice about jewelers because I’m not really ‘into’ jewelry. I knew when we got engaged that I wanted a solitaire diamond and it was really just a case of finding one that suited the size of my hand.

I only have an eternity ring because my husband used emotional blackmail :-), don’t get me wrong I love the ring and what it stands for but I didn’t really want one. Sometimes I wear my engagement ring, sometimes I wear my eternity ring but never together because I feel together they are too big for my hand.

The only ring I constantly wear is my wedding ring – that’s the important one to me and it cost 18 pounds in 1982.

BTW – we have a clock from Tiffanys :-)

What about Zales?

You are kidding, right? Please say you are kidding!

HaHa!! Yes and No...I don't even know anymore!!

<<HaHa!! Yes and No...I don't even know anymore!!>>

See there? You really need to relax a bit! Have plans in place for MOST of this visit. If you're doing all this with a terrific woman for you, she'll help you with the rest of it, and it will all fall, more or less (that's the fun of it all) into place. Whatever doesn't, well there's lots of time to figure it all out.

So now you have discovered the BAD side of the internet - information overload.

Not really information overload...
My original post was basically "is Tiffanys the best place to buy a diamond in New York?". Most people gave a resounding "NO" to that question but very few offered alternatives. For those that did, I thank you. I have ruled out some of them based on what I have seen on their websites:
Harry Winston
Kwiat

I understand that Tiffanys is going to be more expensive and purely in terms of the stone will not be the best value. However, after 50 something posts I'm still leaning towards Tiffs as I don't have many other viable options. One thing I should probably make clear is that I'm not really keen on visiting 6/7 stores looking for the right ring. My goal on starting this thread was to have the name of 3/4 reputable jewelers to visit. To date, only 3/4 jewelers have been mentioned on the thread. One person was very generous and gave me quick crash course in diamonds and recommended a store he works in namely, Zales. The guy seemed very genuine (not pushy) and was suggesting some very good ideas at reasonable prices (1 ct, H, SI1 at 7,000-just an example not saying it is more or less than I want to spend). At the time I had no idea who/what Zales were (I'm not from the States). After researching them online I'm not sure if they are the best store to buy from. However, a similar diamond in Tiffanys is going to be much more expensive for a similar diamond...so what gives??? If I have the GIA certification, a great price why does it matter that it's from Zales? (I guess that's directed at you ekscrunchy)

I do appreciate everyone taking the time out to reply and apologies for the rant!!!

Just curious as to why you eliminated Kwiat and Harry Winston from their web sites. And whatever you do, you sound like a really good guy.

I know it's tucked away, but I posted information regarding Ben Moses.

I highly recommend him - as I previously posted, my family members have been using him for decades. I've recommended him to several of my friends and they have all been extremely satisfied.

Most diamond district jewelers do not have commerical websites, so you really have to go by word of mouth.

It depends on what you want to buy. I have not found that Zales carries either particularly great stones (they rarely have anything over 1 ct) or that they have a very sizable or unique setting selection. I do not believe that they have the ability to allow you to select a stone and then have it set in any setting, but I could be wrong.

I think Fortunoff's is a good idea. They sell good quality stones, have good service and the prices are reasonable. They are trustworthy, too.

Nothing wrong with Zales. They're as reputtable as any other jewelery store.

ekscrunchy,
Didn't really see anything that appealed to me (and knowing my girlfriend's taste anything that would appeal to her)...both seemed to have rings that I would consider over-elaborate for my taste. Looking for something classical as in a solitaire or a 3 stone. Maybe the website isn't a fair representation but it's all I have to go on at the moment...

LMMW, Thanks for that. I have noted the name and address of your guy and will pay a visit to him.

most people who buy at tiffany do so because of the tiffany name. when showing off a tiffany ring to their friends, women will generally mention that it is a tiffany...instant name recognition across all classes of people.

with the one word, "tiffany" the ring, the man, and the relationship, etc are given a level of instant credibility to friends and family. one does not have to explain that it is a high quality ring or quote its colour and clarity ratings (how crass anyway). the one word "tiffany" says that it is a high quality, expensive ring. this is what you pay for.

for the man, the effect is the same. a tiffany ring is a safe bet. the colour of the box instantly validates the quality of the contents with no need for crass explanations.

often on this forum, when someone asks for gift ideas for a loved one, a business contact, coworker, etc, the answer is "something from tiffany". i think this is telling that the name is first, the product is second.

for me, i would much rather make the effort to select something unique and personal rather than go to tiffany and have to buy credibility for the ring rather than to allow it to stand on its own. I would not want this powerful brand name overshadowing the piece. just my opinion.

sorry, i don't have any valuable advice other than this unsolicited opinion.

bermyguy... saw these and thought of you!

http://www.alissiamt.com/DiamondPlastic.html

Thanks London Girl. Any girl can have one ring, my fiancee will have a crate of rings!!!

I hadn't read this bit before: There are no diamonds in Alissia Melka-Teichroew's rings, simply a thought-provoking silhouette imitating the conventional Tiffany setting. Wearers create their own traditions, meanings, and stories.

Ahh, cute!

I thought they would be great for the goofy ring option!

Available at MoMA Design Store, 81 Spring Street, at Crosby Street (646-613-1367 or momastore.org); 44 West 53 Street, between Fifth and Sixth Avenues (212-767-1050)