Frank - thanks for that. I think that is what I have to keep in mind, and trust that all things will work out. Just been a wild ride since 2007.

I was looking forward to finishing school here in Orange County, staying in our home for the next 5 years and when daughter graduates moving forward.

I am trying to again not worry too much, as it is possible all this energy is for nothing - he may not even get offered the job. I was looking at houses in the plano area and they are interesting - it is funny how the decor even inside is SO different than if you were to look at houses here in OC *inside as well.

Hi MomDD,
I've always found new experiences and the opportunity for change to be exciting. Good luck to you and your family.

You're right starrs. I am wrong. I am desperately unhappy. Sorry to burden everyone.

who is soogies and why are you apologizing?

I'm very sorry too, soogies. I read your other thread (although I didn't post). I'm sorry you are going through the things you're dealing with right now. :-(

But, I promise you...there are people around you that would enjoy doing the things you would enjoy doing. Take a peek at the links to meetup groups. Maybe even sign up for a couple of them. You'll receive email notifications every week to amazing things people around you are doing - and would love to have someone new join them. It's not a singles scene. It's not about hook-ups. There are a lot of people who would love to see a certain movie or go to a certain event or see a show but their spouses/friends wouldn't be interested. So, join up with 2 to 12 (made up numbers) people that DO enjoy it and get out of the house, do things you like to do and maybe find new friendships. I'm busy a lot of the time with my "real life" but there are 3 to 5 meetup emails each week I receive doing things I like to do (which also happen to be the kinds of things I think you'd like to do).

Not slamming here in any way - just suggesting ideas.

nanabee on Jul 16, 10 at 8:32am

Hi MomDD,
I've always found new experiences and the opportunity for change to be exciting. Good luck to you and your family.>

Thank you Nanabee!

soogies, I've read some of your other threads and know you've got a lot of "stuff" going on right now in your life, and I'm guessing they get intermingled with one another, and the end result is a very unhappy you, for lots of reasons. Hopefully, one by one they will get sorted out and things will look up. My best to you, truly!

MomDD, let us know how it goes. I understand the approach avoidance conflict! It's hard to move <i>any</i> time, IMHO...easier when we and our children are young, and harder the older we and they become. Keep in mind that this does not have to be forever. If you don't like it, bide your time until your DH retires or something better comes along, then vamoose. I went kicking and screaming to TX, then kicking and screaming again when we were transferred out of TX to Savannah, then kicking and screaming once again when we were transferred from Tampa back to TX. I just hate moving, period! I hate leaving friends and comfort of the familiar for a new start. There's nothing easy about it, but it generally all works out and we find the good the area has to offer and are content. Good luck--it will work out for you!

Thank you OO. I do not see this as a forever move in anyway...

btw, where did you live in Tampa? I lived there for a season.

I live in the DFW area - love it - born and raised here - wouldn't think of living anywhere else. Yes, I can understand if you come from an area that has a lot of trees, a lot of hills, cooler weather, etc., then it may take some adjustment, but you know Texans are great people and Texas is a great place to live. It's not ALL about your surroundings, it's what you make out of it. If you're with people you love, then that's all that matters.

Dawn, I hope the job situation works out well for your family.

. <It's not ALL about your surroundings, it's what you make out of it. If you're with people you love, then that's all that matters.>

I keep repeating that Jill. ((F)) Over and over...

I think the hardest part is all the people I love here that I will be leaving. My closest friend has completely refused to even discuss it (not kidding).

I also keep thinking how wonderful it will be for dh to have the a job with a company that is stable again. We have lacked that for the last 3 years and it is not something we are use to.

MomDD, I completely understand about leaving the people you love in CA, I would feel the same way if I were looking at a cross country move. But as a Fodorite you already have friends who love you in TX. If you do come to TX I will make a special trip to the DFW area to meet you, whenever you are ready. Or you can come to Austin some weekend. I will hope and pray for the best outcome whatever that may be.

{{{{P-M}}}} That means so much to me. Thank you.

... and with DFW being a hub for American Airlines, it's easy to hop a plane and head back to CA for a visit, OR have your friends come visit in your new digs. :)

For a person that has moved a lots I can only say that a positive attitude toward a new location is the most important thing in helping you to get adjusted to a new Environment.

"Home is where your Heart is" has always been my Motto during my DH new Assignments around the World and believe me that at times wasn't easy but I did it with style,a smiling face and most of all a very positive attitude.

You are going to be fine in Dallas MOM.

For the other poster that seems so unhappy about living in Dallas because she missed the cultural life, I can only say that I grew up in one of the most beautiful historics, artistic city of the world, visited the most interesting museums in many countries that I called Home.

I survived because I never Whined about the Cultural things I was missing living here in the US or about how I hated to live in a certain place.
Remember that you are the Master of your own Happiness and of your well BEING , and nobody can do these things for you,but you..

That is the reason why having a Positive Attitude is so important, it makes our daily life so much easier.

GREAT post Kis. Thank you.

I found that a friendly smile, a positive attitude, a willingness to experience new things, and a great sense of humor - got me through many a tough transition.

Just chiming in here to say I so agree with the comments, Dawn. And knowing that our kistmechimera is from one of the most beautiful cities in the world I can only imagine the culture shock of living elsewhere. Btw, you are home now I assume dear Kismetchimera.

I only moved 35 miles and the cultural difference plus the weather was a shock to me, Dawn. I miss being by the water which is what I had all of my life. The great majority here are to the far right politically unlike where I lived until I moved here. It took time to get adjusted but I first took note of how well mannered almost all the people are here and how there is not so much "rushing around". I will always be homesick for the SF/Bay Area but I am so happy to be in the same city as my daughter and son-in-law and I have made friends with people that have basically the same thoughts as I do. We are all from "elsewhere" so we are all missing where we use to live which spans from the SF/BayArea to S CA to the midwest to the East Coast but we all also appreciate the assests our city has such as a very low crime rate, friendly people, good streets, a great PD and FD, good doctors and hospitals etc. If you and your family end up moving to Texas I hope you find a niche too that will bring joy to your life. Best wishes.

Yes, I am at home now Love..I changed my plans the last minute and decided to come back home..
Augusto passed away Saturday the 2nd of July,his wife and daughter were by his bedside.
The church and funeral service was the next day and it was a lovely ceremony attended by so many people.

He lived in Pescara for over 40 years and spent most of his career,he was of the Arma of the Carabinieri, in that city.

5 retired Carabinieri in full uniforms holding the Italian flag, said their last goodbye to their former friend.

It was very touching.

I spent a week in Rome before returning to the US.

Sorry for having hijacked your post, MOM..

Dawn, I have moved in the past (some moves just within Southern CA and others to other states) and I have found that I do well as long as I move with a positive attitude and assure myself that I will like it in my new city. I am a joiner so get involved with organizations that I believe in and I quickly have made friends and I know you will too. You always have such a positive attitude and you have dealt with other things in your life that have not been easy, so I know you will do well. I have kept in touch with many of my friends from other cities and even from high school and college so you can keep up with friends even if you don't live near them. I love Facebook and e-mail as it has helped me stay more in their lives and when we do get together it seems like we have not skipped a beat. I laughed when you said you wondered what the thread would be like if Orange County was changed for Plano, TX. I am sure there would be lots and lots of negatives (as well as positives) as everyone likes something different and of course some people are just plain negative. I try to stay clear of them if I can. Have a great weekend and hope everything works out great.

Just a thought:

The top reason transfers within our company have not worked is personality conflict, but a close 2nd is when the spouse doesnt like the new city. Atop that, we had a gal(spouse of a VP) recently come into town that liked it too much. In two years she was running the local charity drives by working her tail off, the longtime spouses drove her husband out during the last downsize(I dont think he deserved, but was her success). Too bad, I thinked they really liked it here.

I would say 'fitting in' is the goal, not being too preoccupied with the move that you step on other toes. People get intimidated by new residents from CA