Children flying alone -
 

We just flew back from Alaska via Las Vegas and I noticed that on our 2 flights -- a child was flying alone.

The first flight from Anchorage to Vegas started at 4pm and landed in Vegas at 10:30pm. The child was seated in the middle seat next to my husband (he had a window seat, and I sat in the window seat in front of him -- so we both can view the incredible scenary on the trip). Just before takeoff, the flight attendant came back and took the young boy (maybe 12) and moved him up to first class since there was an available seat there. My DH was happy to now have an empty seat next to him.

We arrived at Vegas and our connection is tight -- as we were flying America West and Vegas is a major hub. The terminal was packed -- and our plane was also. The plane was loaded and then the flight attendant brought another young girl (maybe 10) on and seated her across the row from us -- moved another passenger who had taken her seat next to the window. The plane is a little rowdy as it is now nearly 11 pm and some folks have been partying it up. The attendant is in the aisle - showing the little girl who is clutching her stuffed animal tightly how to put on the emergency oxygen mask in case of de-pressurization.

My question is this: After seeing this, I would never let my child fly alone -- especially at night -- especially via the connections at Vegas. I seriously doubt that little girl would be able to secure her oxygen mask if it was needed. Or escape to the appropriate exit if required. I think the boy who was moved to first class had more supervision -- but I am not sure I would be comfortable having the airline responsible for him in a crazy terminal that Vegas is. As for the little girl, or any child -- If you have to have them travel alone (how frightening) then do this --

schedule your flights for daytime only -- night flights while cheaper -- it can be scary and a tired child cannot absorb the necessary instructions required by the FAA

buy a first class ticket -- your child will have much better supervision especially during a long flight and the flight attendant can be more ready to help in case of an emergency

think twice about the cities your child is flying in/out of. Vegas is known as a party city -- and some folks can easily have a few too many -- there were some types (of men or women) I would not have felt comfortable with sitting next to -- and sleeping next to on the long red-eye flight back east

Buy an extra-ticket and fly with your child to/from their destination. It is worth the peace of mind -- maybe cheaper than first class and that you as the parent are your child's protector and responsible for their safety -- not the airlines.

The little girl -- I saw her family pick her up at the airport -- she was still clutching her stuffed animal but looked scared and exhausted.

I flew alone as a child- times were different. I would never, ever do it now. What if a child was alone on a 9/11 flight?? Can you imagine. Or some perv sitting nearby. I understand it can be a money or custody issue. Still, parents should make other plans. I've seen them lost or mixed up during layovers too.

Unfortunately, this is the time of year you see this happening the most. Children who have spent the summer with one parent are flying home to spend the school year with their other parent. (I was one of those kids, many years ago.)

Finances play an enormous part in these decisions and no parent makes them lightly. First class is often not an option, ever, for single parents (not to mention the horror that so many Fodorites experience at the very thought of a child in first class). Additionally, for many parents, they cannot take the time off of work to travel with their child without losing badly needed pay or risking their job.

Many airlines have tightened the restrictions on unaccompanied minors in the last few years. This normally means that the child cannot be on the last flight of the day to any destination. Depending on the age of the child, they may only be allowed to fly non-stop to their destination.

I hope never to be in the position where I have to allow my daughter to fly by herself, until she is old enough to manage it without supervision. Other families are just not that fortunate.

Agree that younger or naive children should not fly by themselves. While some flight attendants do pay attention to the kids - many are too busy - or not really interested.

And if a child must fly alone - do only non-stops - or direct flights - early in the day - so the child won't get caught unexpectedly overnight by bad weather or mechanical problems.

(I was on a flight with a serious problem - and the flight attendants ignored the children on board - it was up to other passengers to care for and comfort them when it appeared we would crash - and for the rest of the flight.)

USAir recently announced that minors will not longer be able to fly unsupervised on flights with a connection. I think this is a good idea.

In last 2 weeks flew 4 flights on UA. Three of 4 were delayed over an hour, making one connection really tight. Several of these delays involved gate change. One flight had terrifying (to me, at least) turbulence and lightening visible thru windows.

Glad I was not a kid - because any of these flight issues would have been very difficult.

My son, who is 11 yrs. old has flown two times by himself. The first time was from Atlanta and it was a direct flight. The second time was a connection and I wasn't real happy about but there was not a direct flight. They make you fill out a paper about who is picking him up and they check their id and a flight attendent takes him off the plane. I cried the first time I put him on because I knew he was nervous and I wouldn't be there to comfort him. The second time I didn't cry because he knew the ropes by this time but I was a little concerned about the changing of planes but he is responsible and I told him not to leave the flight attendants side.
He is going again in Sept. and he loves going to see his cousins, so he doesn't mind. He thinks he's a BIG boy. I would not let him fly at night or have to go to a place that I wouldn't want him to be at by himself.

Does anyone know what happens if a young solo traveler misses a connection for whatever reason. As adults we complain, try to get the airline to help us and if all else fails pull out a credit card and make things better - none of these are options for kids.

And for a connection that results in an overnight stay - even if airline facilitates it, I doubt anyone wants their kid staying in a hotel alone or sleeping in the airport.

Theorectically any child missisng a connection will be watched by an airline employee and put on the next flight whenever that may be.

However - I would not send a child alone without a credit card, a cell phone, experience in using them, and some confidence that they would not panic in this situtation - but call home so that the parent/guardian could confirm every step of the way with the airline staff.

(On the flight I was one was one little boy no more than 7 - and his family had sent him with only $5, no toys/games/snacks - completely ill-prepared for even the normal airport delays - never mind a difficult situation.)

Since you don't know the circumstances of the child flying alone, don't pass judgement on the parents.

What you are or are not comfortable with is not relevant to what the parents of the child are comfortable with.

This thread was probably a bad idea from that start, knowing how these things deteriorate. I guess we will never all agree on what is the "proper circumstance" is for children to fly alone. Is it to visit family? Is it because a divorced parent moved halfway across the country? Is it to go to a summer sleepaway camp when they are 7? (I know someone who put their 3rd grader on a plane to Maine, by herself, to go to sleepaway camp - for 8 weeks! Yes, I will fully admit, I am judgemental about that decision.)

We wrestled with this issue. My mother in law wanted my 12 y.o. son to come down and visit her for a week in Florida this summer. My son was THRILLED with the idea of flying alone. I, on the other hand, get nervous when he walks 3 blocks to the grocery store by himself to pick up some milk or whatever for me. (I had no problems going with him, in fact I would have loved to sit on Siesta Beach all week, but my husband refused to chase my younger son around all week while we were relaxing in Florida. I can't say I blame him). We put all thoughts of this aside when my mother in law watched my boys last May when I accompanied my husband on a business trip to Florida. Let's just say she wasn't the most responsible babysitter.

Best laid plans can go astray. My sister in law & her family got on a nightmare flight from Atlanta to PHL. Thunderstorms intermittenly closed the PHL airport throughout the day. They were on an afternoon direct flight (there are a TON of flights b/w ATL & PHL), that left late, circled PHL for an hour, then finally diverted to Norfolk. Once on the ground, they were told the some ship was in town and there were no hotel rooms available for miles around. By this time, the crew was going over their alloted flying time allowance. They got back in the air, circled PHL for a while more, and were finally cleared to land - at 2am. Ther were large blocks of time that even the airline had no idea where this plane would end up. Can you imagine planning on meeting someone in PHL to find they are in Norfolk? That's 7 hour highway drive.

We know of divorced folks in NC who, as a part of their divorce agreement, are not allowed to move out of state. The wife remarried - someone in a different state. This is not a traditional marriage, and they spend a lot of time on planes. At the risk of (OH MY GOSH) sounding like Dr. Laura, who I loathe, I do think it's a good idea that the parents are putting up with the delayed and cancelled flights (in their small hometown airport) than the kids, who are only 4 & 6.

While I agree we should all be sympathetic to individual family situations, I don't think a blanket statement saying that whatever a parent feels comfortable with is necessarily OK.

Do you remember the parents who felt comfortable leaving their 6 & 8 year old daughters home alone while they went to Jamaica for a WEEK? Those parents obviously felt comfortable with that decision. I disagreed with that decision, and so did child services.

karens, the parents who left their children at home alone are sort of a bad example at parenting as a whole don't you think?

and now we all know karens' life story.

Our children have flown by themselves several times. I do think that each case needs to be looked at individually though. Our children have flown countless times with us, and so are very comfortable with how things work. We do have them fly direct and in the morning. They take their cell phones with them, and we abide by the airlines rules that we do not leave the gate until the plan is in the air. Like I said, our children are comfortable with it, so I think that makes a world of difference.

Any pilots or flight attendants out there willing to weigh in on this topic? Those would be interesting thoughts.

While only the parents know the specific circumstances of each case - it is obvious that not all parents are capable of making rationale, responsible decisions. And in that case it is more important to try to ensure the safety/comfort of the child - than worry that the parents - or others - might consider you judgemental. (Some people need to be judged - literally.)

I would never say children shouldn;t fly alone - but it needs to be done with proper care and preparation - and consideration of the capabilities of the child.

In the case of the 7 year old - those parents were clerly either neglectful or out to lunch - or both. He was seated next to one of my colleagues on the flight - and she - and we waited at the airport with the child - and a staff member- until the airline managed to contact the person supposd to pick him up and get them to come to the airport. (He ws the father and claimed he was told the child was flying in the NEXT day - who knows.)

But if CNN knew the plane was in trouble - and had a camera crew there to interview us and the crew - wouldn't you think that whoever put the child on the flight would have noticed - and contacted the father?

I'm with Gotravel on this and others who say this is a matter for individual parental determination, within the rules of the airlines. Not every parent has the luxury of accompanying their child on a plane trip nor the money to fly them first class. Parents have to weigh their options when making these decisions, and it doesn't seem fair to judge without knowing the facts. I will add that being a parent is a humbling experience.

Orcas - I do generally agree with you. All those "I would never do...." seem to go out the window once you have your own kids. And flying first class seems an unlikely solution - those seats are extremely expensive, and truly, it is not the job of the flight attendant to keep an eye on unattended minors.

I am sure that USAir has banned unaccompanied minors on non-direct flights for a reason. When I was in Salt Lake City a few weeks ago, I saw how easy it would be to get in the wrong line for a plane. Our gate was at the end of the terminal, surrounded by other actively loading gates. From the displays, each flight was tightly timed within minutes of each other, 10:55, 11:00, 11:05, etc. I couldnt' even figure out which line was which. Amid such chaos, it's easy to see how mistakes could get made.

Did any of you see the episode of Airline where the divorced mother was pitching a fit b/c security restrictions prevented her from accompanying her 2 kids to the gate? She would not take No for an answer, and while I understand her discomfort, her arguments were really weak and she was not handling herself well. Finally, she agreed to have a Southwest Supervisor escort her kids onto the plane. Then, the cameras filmed the SUPERVISOR PUTTING THE KIDS ON THE WRONG PLANE! Thankfully, the older kid, who was only about 9 or 10, realized once on board that they were mentioning a different destination than where he was headed, and they corrected the problem.

I'm sort of surprised that Southwest allowed that segment to air.

Mr.GoTravel and I have gotten on the wrong plane before. Luckily, kids are smarter than we are:-D

I do remember flying solo as a kid. Direct flights to relatives houses when I was as young as 7.

Would I do that to a child today? Hard to say.

Many years ago, when I was sixteen, my parents let me fly cross country to California to see my cousin and friends. I got into SFO at 11:30pm, waited for 2 hours and realized they had forgotten to pick me up. I called everyone I knew in the Bay Area, they were all at the same get-together on the campus of Stanford and completely unreachable.

I delayed and delayed calling home because I didn't want my parents to worry. I tried to rent a car but obviously wasn't old enough. By this time even I , as a responsible 16 year old, was a little freaked out being in the airport by myself at 2am. I finally called home and my parents, thank God, called a friend who lived an 1 1/2 away to pick me up.

It has definitely made me much more leary of kids flying alone.

Dear Incognito,

I had to laugh when I got to your replyas I was thinking the same thoughts!!

I suspect there is even more, if we just wait patiently.

I agree that each individual situation should be weighed on it's own merit and not all children have the same comfort level or maturity in such a situation.

My husband's daughter has been flying from Houston to St. Maarten to see us every summer since the age of six and we've never had a problem (knock on wood) with her flying as an unaccompanied minor.

Until the age of 14 one of us flew (at considerable cost for a one day turnaround) to Miami, overnighted, and met her flight the following day so that she did not have a connection without a parent.

Once she had made the route numerous times, however, we were comfortable with her being old enough to not be afraid if she ended up having to overnight in Miami due to a missed connection. Naturally, we consulted her about her own comfort in this situation.

When I contacted the airline about how this is handled, I was told that the child is put on the next available flight. If that flight isn't until the following day, the child is put in a hotel room with a flight attendant of the same sex and returned to the airport the following day. In other words, an airline employee is always with them and they are never left alone. This could be frightening for a younger child, though, which is why we flew to Miami to meet her until her teens.

I have also noticed over the years that she is never left unattended, even at the gate or in the restroom. And, they put her on the aircraft as soon as they can...even up to 45 minutes ahead of the other passengers.

I almost shudder to think that I took a bus at the age of 12, alone with only my 9 year old sister, from Dallas to Houston one time. Of course, this was in a much safer day and age.

Dear Incognito and IpodR:

I was born a poor black child...

I was curious about the US Air policy on unaccompanied minors and found it easily on their website. It sounds reasonable to me. Here it is, in brief:

Under 5 years old: Children under 5 years old must be accompanied by an adult.

Between 5 and 14 years old: Unaccompanied children, between the ages of 5 and 14, may travel on US Airways nonstop flights for a fee. Flight connections to other airlines are not permitted.

Between the ages of 15 and 17 years old: Minors between the ages of 15 and 17 traveling alone are considered young adults and are not required to purchase unaccompanied minor services from US Airways. Upon request, unaccompanied minor services will be provided by US Airways for a fee. Flight connections to other airlines are permitted and additional fees may be required.

Let a 5-year old fly alone? No freakin way.

IMO, any child under the age of 8 should be accompanied by an adult.

I recently was seated in first class next to an unaccompanied child, she looked to be only 7 or 8, she was tiny and crumpled sadly in her seat, she didnt want to talk. When we took off she burst into tears and sobbed the whole way. I tried to comfort her the best I could, she finally told me she was leaving her dad's house to go back to her mom's and she didn't want to go. It was heartbreaking, even the flight atendants had tears in their eyes. They said they saw horrible scenes like this every day.

It has been interesting reading all of your comments. I guess my main purpose of this thread is this: Children need protection and safekeeping. You accept this responsibility as their parent. I think the parents of these children would have been appalled if they had a video feed seeing their child in a wild, and kinda of crazy environment that airports (especially a Vegas airport) are. What the parents don't know won't hurt them -- but what about the child? A five year old flying alone?

Don't give in to a false sense of security by the airlines providing safe passage. I know they do their best but with staff reductions and pack planes - they really don't have the time and sometimes even the energy to monitor children -- especially during a busy flight. And what about all of the teaching them to not to talk to strangers? Here you go and put them in with a horde of strangers - airline employees included -- no wonder they are terrified and confused.

I wish that parents would really think long and hard about the situations that can and do occur, such as weather conditions or a plane malfunction which may lead to a crash landing preparation. I am so glad that I have personally never experienced that but as other posters have mentioned and my own sister has expecienced that -- it can traumatized adults (everyone freaking out). Maybe movies such as Home Alone give us the impression that children can think like adults -- but that alas, is only in the movies. Most children will react like children -- not adults.

Began to fly my son alone just before he turned three ... basically we fibbed about his age, put him in first class and started him off on non-stops to relatives. Worked so well we followed suit with the others. Not sure how this would fly these days. Have not witnessed any ill effects with the kids.

I'm sorry....I don't care what the circumstances are....how could anyone allow a child to fly alone, direct flight or not? There are so many variables.

I've seen kids flying alone. I find myself keeping an eye on them, because I can't imagine my kid being in that position. It makes my stomach churn.

Just my opinion and 2 cents!

I forgot about this thread. I too hate to see little ones fly by themselves.

But I had a strange problem with my little "gypsey feet" daughter. By the time she was 7 years old she begged to fly across the US by herself to visit family. She begged and begged. Finally when she finished 7th grade we let her fly to a friends house in Vacouver, BC. Oh gads was I a nervous wreck. She loved it.

So the next year we let her fly to Virginia to spend a month with her brother and his wife. I was a nervous wreck again. But all went fine and she loved it.

She still complains because we made her wait until she was 12 to fly alone, LOL. But there was no way I would have allowed her to earlier then that. But obviously some children are more ready to fly on their own earlier then others. And the story about the little one crying when she had to fly home to her mother house, how terribly sad.

I believe that children cannot fly alone unless they are a certain age and the flight is non stop.
They board the flight first and get off last, accompanied by a flight attendant. They are watched by flight attendants during the flights.
In March, flying to Paris from NY, there was a little girl in front of us, flying alone to meet her grandfather in Paris. She had been in NY visiting relatives.
During the flight she got tired and started to cry. I stuck my hand between the wall and the seat and she held it. She fell asleep, I spoke to the flight attendant and he said that he was aware that she was weeping, she was tired and he knew she would fall asleep soon. She did sleep throught the whole flight and when we were getting off the plane, she was being straightened out and fluffed up ( hair) to go meet her grandparents..They met her at the gate, all happy smiles and kisses and a big thank you to the flight attendant who took care of her.
My children have flown since a very early age, with us and on their own. They are still flying too! But now I want them to take me with them!! :)

Well, this thread certainly struck a chord as I put my 14 yr old DD on a plane last Friday week. SHe flew with Qantas SYD - LAX, transferred to AA & flew on to YYZ.
At no point in time was she unaccompanied, but I would not have let her transfer at T4 in LAX by herself.
She has been flying between SYD & Melbourne in Australia since she was 5 but it is a 1 hr direct flight. I don't know that I would have let her fly a non-direct flght in the States when she was younger. However it all comes down to your own personal circumstances and it is really not up to others to be judging.
A cardinal rule with Qantas is that the child cannot be seated next to a male.

Just realised that my post may not be clear - she travelled as an "unaccompanied minor" and was escorted the entire trip by airline staff. She was the first to board and last to disembark and was escorted through immigration, customs, security check points etc both in LAX and Toronto. At no point was she left alone and my brother was the only person they would deliver custody to.

apparently it's a confidence issue ... if the adults possess it, they then allow kids to obtain it ... flying alone is one excellent way. Parents and others, untie thouse strings and let the kids breathe. What could happen aboard a plane ... could be too many of you are seeing the Red Eye ads, lol. Have a good day, whatever you view.

Personally, I would not let my 11 and 13 year olds fly alone. That is me and my comfort factor. I will wait until they are older. (mid-late teens).
I also do not have the issues that some have(divorce).
I think it is a personal family decision. I also think some children fly alone long before they should which is unfortuante for the people sitting around them.

What if there's a storm or mechanical problem and the plane gets diverted to land in another city?

Returning from Vegas a few years ago, our flight out of Vegas was late because of mechanical problems. We were going to change planes in Newark, but by the time we arrived, the plane that was "supposedly" waiting for our late arrival had left for Buffalo already, so we had to spend the night in Newark.

In a circumstance like that, what happens to the child?

I can loosen my apron strings without sending my kid thousands of miles away from home hoping that a stranger is looking after him.

To each his own!

My daughter has been flying between the east and west coasts since she was 3 weeks old. About the age of 6 or 7 we put her on her first flight alone. Obviously, when an adult could accompany her, they did, but many times it was not feasible. I was a single mother who had to work and there were court-ordered visits that had to be fulfilled. She was never allowed to be booked on a non-stop flight. This was a rule of the airlines for children under 12; perhaps they have changed that now? She had to be delivered to her escort, a flight attendant, and she was only released to an authrorized person who could produce ID.

She always loved to fly alone, and had special treatment: was put in first class, got ice cream and other treats, was even asked by the FAs to help hand out peanuts, etc. Had there at any point been any indication that she was unhappy, uncomfortable or unsafe, the trips would have been stopped. In fact, she loved to travel so much that we soon allowed her visit grandparents and other family members who are spread out across the country. My nephew is now flying alone and always arrives excitedly full of stories of what happened on his flight. Recently he was allowed to make annoucements for the FAs over the speakers.

Do you really think the airlines are going to intenionally allow an unaccompanied minor to be placed in harm's way? They take great care and we pay extra for it. Sure, things can happen, but they can happen anyplace. School is much more dangerous than flying, in my opinion. Parents have to put their faith in school teachers, bus drivers and other school employees everyday. These are all essentially strangers. Children heading to school are abducted, school buses break down and are in accidents. Kids can be hit by cars, treatened by bullies, bit by dogs, offered drugs and exposed to all kinds of other potential dangers. And yet, everyday millions of school children leave their homes alone and get on school busses, or ride their bikes to class. Perhaps we should all home school?

I take great offense to those who try to tell me that I should subscribe to their boilerplate rules for parenting. Not every child is the same, nor is every parenting situation. I allowed my child to travel alone and it was not traumatic or poor parenting. I encouraged her from a young age to be independent and confident and to take on the world. I sent her to Montesori school at the age of 3. I suppose I shoud be chastised for that as well. I personally do not believe that a child should be so overly protected from life experiences that they emerge from school unaware of the world around them, as so many young adults seem to be now-a-days. My definition of good parenting includes knowing your child and their limitations, and teaching them to function in the world. Every child is unique and only their individual parents will know (or should know) when their child is ready for things like travelling alone. My daughter is a very well-adjusted young wonan now, who just finished her masters degree in foreign policy at the age of 22 and is working on her doctorate. Thank God she was able to survive my neglectful and abusive parenting methods!

My own kids have flown so much that they are more savvy travelers than 90% of my coworkers or neighbors or friends. Even the youngest of my kids know to be prepared with all necessary ID, funds, and electronics.

What I worry about instead are the fragile elderly who are generally much more trusting but less capable of handling danger.

I'd also like to add that we insist that everyone in our travel party - adult and child - have all necessary information and travel skills in case someone gets separated from the group. This probably came from watching the Home Alone movies :)

So my kids trained to travel solo even while traveling in a group. I always had my kids get the airline gate maps or train stop maps and tell ME where we needed to go. That is why I am comfortable.

My youngest went recently on a school trip to NYC and came home appalled that some of the kids didn't know anything about how to travel. She said they all ought to start reading Fodors to catchup!

"here today"...

Thanks for a wonderful post. Your comments about the dangers that exist, even at close to home schools, certainly are important.

What still upsets me, is why the women/mothers of our country are so quick to judge each other.

And I'll bet that every one of the opinions posted here came from a woman.

We have done battle with each other over so many issues. Working moms/stay at home moms, public school/private school/home school.

There's always a subtle reference to *tolerance*, usually veiled in such comments as "of course I'm lucky enough to be able to stay home", "that may be OK for some, but my children know my rules", "my DH would never lose his temper with me" and the least subtle..."of course there is no divorce in my family".

Well, my sisters, we never know what the future will hold. So "never say never" and try to be more understanding.

Marion