None of us meant to be insensitive, nor were were trying to scare anyone or make any parent feel guilty. You will note that the safety advice did not become in any way graphic until you challenged the idea that there might be a safety risk. You gave us a challenge, we rose to it.

For the record, my child flew without a carseat several times. I did this on foreign carriers that would not allow me to use a carseat, and once on a US carrier when we had to fly to a dying grandparent's bedside, and the only flight available only had two seats. Luckily, there was no turbulence on any of those flights, but we were still miserable trying to keep a squirmy active child relatively quiet and still on our laps for that length of time. He also threw up all over me on at least one of those flights, which I could have cheerfully done without.

Given the choice, for all the reasons that all the posters here have mentioned, I'm going to go with the carseat every time. However, I can afford to buy the add'l seat, and I know that not everyone can. When that is the case, the best thing to do is plan your flight at the least popular time possible, and hope very hard for good weather.

As to BA's rules, I can only tell you what have been told on intra-European flights, and that was "no personal toddler seats on board." In those days, we didn't take non-US carriers over the water because we didn't want to risk being told that the seat would not be allowed. We could not have slept on the flight without the security of the seat. (My son outgrew the need to use a carseat on a plane early last year.)

No one is being insensitive.

We have presented facts of the dangers of a lap child.

We have provided links to professional associations have strongly recommended buying a lap child a seat.

Based on what a customer service rep told your mother, you have decided the customer service rep is the one that can make the most educated decision regarding your child.

Heres my $.02...Infants like to be held by their mothers,especially in an environment they are not used to. An infant in a baby bjorn,and the parent strapped in would make sense to me. I just think it is unimaginable for people to think they can leave an infant in a carseat for a whole flight. At sometime the baby will want out,which defeats the purpose.Turbulance can happen at anytime.

I do wish that the FAA and airlines would make more proactive decisions regarding infant and child safety-- and would supply some type of child restraint device on parent request, if the child is in a separate seat. Lap children should have some kind of restraint à la baby bjorn. I recall that a few of the fatalities in the United 232 crash were unrestrained infants, while those that were somehow restrained by adults survived pretty much unscathed. And don't underestimate turbulence-- a few severe episodes have resulted in fatal injuries to unrestrained adults and children (even adults can get thrown about like rag dolls).

So to answer the original question: If the toddler can fit into something like a baby bjorn carrier, use that during the flight-- check the car seat for your use at your destination. That would probably be safest for everyone.

Baby bjorns hold infants up to 25 lbs. This, to me, makes more sense than to purchase a seat and should end all the bickering about this issue on this site. Once they are 25 lbs., which SHOULD be close to 2 anyway,then it is time to purchase a seat.

I wonder if anyone other than my husband and I would find this a bit excessive. At an art show last year there was a woman carrying around her little dog (a Westie as I recall, and an adult one, not a puppy) in a Baby Bjorn, her hands craddled across his tummie as he faced outward...his legs hanging limply out. It struck us as akin to an adult taking a dog someplace in a stroller, dressed in baby clothes. I guess it's safer than a leash at an art show, but if you have the carrier, you obviously do this at other than times than art shows. At first glance it looked sort of cute, but then it was, "whoa, what is this all about". 'Course we don't have a dog now so maybe shouldn't judge, but when we did, it was a Springer Spaniel and I know she wouldn't have put up with such indignities! :LOL

No offense gojacks, but the average baby triples its birthweight in the first year, so a 25-lb baby will NOT in all likelihood be close to 2.

Marilyn....no offense taken,but the point was that by the time a baby IS 25 lbs., it's time to buy a seat,which is what is required at 2. Should have clarified myself better.

To get back to the original question, we took a carseat on the plane when our son was 3 mos. (relatively short flight from L.A. to Vancouver) and again when he was 13 mos. for a long flight to Italy. It needs to be one that has the aircraft approval on it.

I can't answer the question about stowing them in the overhead compartment. We always bought a seat for him, the reason being that I was, many many years ago, one of those babies held in the arms of my father that was pulled from his grasp in turbulence and hit my head with some force on the ceiling before being tossed back down. I still have the dent in my head (hidden by hair). My father was never able to fly after that, it upset him so.

I guess because of that, even though we are allowed to have children sit in our laps, I figured it only takes just one time, and I don't need to look at things in hindsight, saying "only if". Our decision to always pay for the seat, of course, came before that t.v. documentary a few years back about g-forces and the weight of a baby -- all that mathematical stuff that shocked a lot of us parents on this subject.

It would seem like a front-carrier like a Baby Bjorn would be a good compromise solution, but I'm afraid that the way the regulation is worded, it is highly unlikely that you would be allowed to use one onboard, at least not during takeoff or landing.
Things like front-carriers are usually classed as a vest-type restraint

Here is the actual FAA reg (14CSR91.107): http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/c...4cfr91_00.html

Please note these two subsections:

3) Except as provided in this paragraph, each person on board a U.S.-registered civil aircraft (except a free balloon that incorporates a basket or gondola or an airship type certificated before November 2, 1987) must occupy an approved seat or berth with a safety belt and, if installed, shoulder harness, properly secured about him or her during movement on the surface, takeoff, and landing. For seaplane and float equipped rotorcraft operations during movement on the surface, the person pushing off the seaplane or rotorcraft from the dock and the person mooring the seaplane or rotorcraft at the dock are excepted from the preceding seating and safety belt requirements. Notwithstanding the preceding requirements of this paragraph, a person may:

(i) Be held by an adult who is occupying an approved seat or berth, provided that the person being held has not reached his or her second birthday and does not occupy or use any restraining device;

[and]

4) Notwithstanding any other provision of this section, booster-type child restraint systems (as defined in Federal Motor Vehicle Safety Standard No. 213 (49 CFR 571.213)), vest- and harness-type child restraint systems, and lap held child restraints are not approved for use in aircraft; and ...

Per that wording, it might be possible to use it at cruising altitude, but I suspect that it would depend entirely on the FA that happens to be working your flight. Front carriers *are* extremely handy while boarding and deplaning, however, so if you have one, bringing it along is usually worth the trouble.

To the original poster:
You should call the airline a couple of days before you leave to find out how full the flight is. Just explain to them why you need to know.
We traveled in June with our 14-month-old. I called the airline a couple of days before the trip (plane wasn't full), and requested the bulk-head seats (they have more leg room). The phone agent was able to give them to us TENTATIVELY. He explained that if a disabled person needed those seats, we'd be moved..and that of course was fine with us. No one needed those seats, so we had room and an extra seat for our son (we hadn't bought a seat for him). The weird thing was that we tried the same thing on the way back and the phone agent (another one) said giving us the bulk-head seats couldn't be done, we'd have to wait till we got to the airport to ask for them. Anyway, we ended up not getting those seats on the way back because there was a blind man traveling with his dog. This was Continental. I'm sure each airline has its own rule.
You should really try for those bulk-head seats. So much roomier!
Bottom line, call the airline a few days or the day before trip to find out how full or empty the flight is.
And if you don't get anywhere that way, when you get to the ticket counter at the airport, explain to the ticket agent your dilemma and they will take of you.
Good luck.

Warning on bulkhead seats: most carseats will NOT fit in the bulkhead row, because the armrests do not lift up. It is actually better not to try for them if you really want to use the carseat, unless you want them for their trading value. (Bulkheads have REALLY good trade value if you need to get two seats together.)

Remember also that with the bulkhead row, you do not have the space on the floor in front of you to stow gear, you would have to put everything in the overhead compartment. I personally don't like bulkhead seats when travelling with a young child, and this is the reason why.

Usually when I fly, the bulkhead is full with elite FF's that couldn't get in first class. Also, in newer planes there is a lot less room in bulkhead than in the older planes.

What are you going to do with a child on your lap if the person in front of you reclines their seat? I'd go for the bulkhead!

Suzanne...you then recline your own seat.

Response to Reneeinva-This may sound cold, but no, I would probably not give up my seat so a parent can sit with their child. It depends on where the seat is. Middle seat? No way. I probably booked my flight early, spent 3 hours on the phone securing the seat of my choice (a window far from the restroom) and got to the airport and extra 1/2 hour early to make SURE I got my seat. So then I should just give it up and squeeze in between two other people and be uncomfortable so a parent can sit with their child? Sorry, but let the airline work it out. Put them on another flight or something. Or, offer me a discount on my $700 ticket to make up for the inconvenience. I am not a nasty person, but I work damn hard for my vacations and spend many hours planning. It is not my responsibility to accomodate someone else's family.

I completely agree with the previous poster! No passenger should ever feel obligated to accomodate a parent that didn't bother to BUY A SEAT for their child. I have flown numerous times with my 5 year old daughter and have always purchased a seat for her...I think it's absurd not to...sorry. Buy a seat...use a carseat..take child out only when necessary (providing the "use seatbelt sign" isn't on).

bugswife, I think people sometimes forget that other passengers have very valid reasons for not wanting to give up their seat.

Knoel, the reference to giving up a seat so that a parent could sit w/ a child wasn't really about situations where the parent hasn't purchased a seat for the child. I posted the original reference to that topic in this thread, and I was speaking of the airlines' tendency to re-assign seats without regard to the ages of the persons involved.

On just about all US-based carriers, a child old enough to fly without a carseat can have his/her seat reassigned without that assignment being linked to the seat assignment of the adult who is accompanying him/her. This does indeed lead to situations where children as young as 3 will be assigned single seats. In some cases, all of the party's newly assigned seats will be center seats, and yes, it can be very difficult to find a solo passenger willing to give up an aisle or window if all you have to trade for it is a middle seat. FA's might force the trade if the child is under age 5, but usually won't if the child is older than that.

The seat-assignment software does mass reassignments based on FF program status and on the price paid. The higher the ticket price, the sooner you get reassigned. As families often travel on the most heavily-discounted fares, theirs are often the last seats assigned.

My response wasn't just for those parents who didn't purchase a seat for their kid, but for anyone who is separated from their travel partner. If it bothers them that much, let them raise a stink at the counter until they get a travel voucher or something, but I don't think the airline should make it my problem when I didn't do anything wrong. I already feel like I have to kiss *ss to the airlines just to be able to get an upgradeable ticket or to be able to actually use my miles once in a blue moon. To move me out of my chosen seat adds insult to injury.