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-   -   Black-White Interracial Couple relocating (https://www.fodors.com/community/united-states/black-white-interracial-couple-relocating-556543/)

Shane Sep 6th, 2005 07:28 AM

You could never convince me to live in Tampa, racial tolerance notwithstanding. Eight months of summer is way too much.

GoTravel Sep 6th, 2005 07:52 AM

You can forget interacial in DC.

My gay boyfriend was working in DC walking back to his hotel holding hands with his boyfreind and got stoned by a group of 20 or so young black kids.

I'd say that was an example of urban ignorance. Being yelled "faggot go home" and "we don't want your $hit around here" while being pelted with rocks doesn't lead to open minds.

alfred5572 Sep 6th, 2005 08:41 AM

I didn't notice DC on the list. Lord knows a white person would ever do those things, right?

ajcolorado Sep 6th, 2005 08:44 AM

I'd like to let you know that you will be very welcome in Colorado Springs. Interracial marriages are just not that big a deal here. I know numerous Hispanic-White, Black-White, Asian-White, Hispanic-Black, etc. etc. couples here. My husband was an Air Force officer and is now in the technical professional realm - he's had bosses who were from everywhere in the world and of various skin colors. I think that you would be comfortable working here.

I don't doubt that there are always opportunities for bigotry to present themselves but it does not seem to be the norm. We live just outside Colorado Springs and I know that our sub-division (mostly $250K-ish homes) is also ethnically diverse.


repete Sep 6th, 2005 09:20 AM

One incident, horrible as it is, does not a pattern make. If the OP were to eliminate any area that had at least one such disgusting incident of bigotry -- be it racial or homophobic, they'd sadly end up on Mars.

The DC area, at where I am, is a fine place for a mixed family. I live here -- and I am part of one. But I also am realistic to know that you can tun into haters anywhere.

repete Sep 6th, 2005 09:21 AM

One incident, horrible as it is, does not a pattern make. If the OP were to eliminate any area that had at least one such disgusting incident of bigotry -- be it racial or homophobic, they'd sadly end up on Mars.

The DC area, at least where I am, is a fine place for a mixed family. I live here -- and I am part of one. But I also am realistic to know that you can tun into haters anywhere.

Patrick Sep 6th, 2005 09:40 AM

I hate to say it, but anybody with a personal experience of interracial relationships or marriage is well aware that anywhere you go, there will be some who will stop and stare, point fingers, or worse. I realize you're looking for a place where those things will be at a minimum, but some comments here seem to suggest there is some wonderful utopia where NO ONE notices skin color. That is a dream world only.

That said, I think Portland gets my vote. The real conservatives there are far too busy gawking and pointing at the tatooed and pierced "hippies" to notice the interracial couples -- unless they also happen to be pierced and tattooed.

J_Correa Sep 6th, 2005 10:08 AM

I have never seen anyone point fingers at my husband and I. I can't remember anyone ever stopping and staring either.

GoTravel Sep 6th, 2005 10:14 AM

repete, it was something like 20 kids not one or two. Kids pick this behavior up somewhere they just don't develop it themselves.


Wayne Sep 6th, 2005 10:28 AM

Fodors folks, don't kid yourselves into thinking that the interracial problem doesn't exist. It shouldn't, but it does. Therefore I think benbow made a sensible request for our best advice. I have lived in, or done considerable business in, every sector of our country. I'd first tell you where NOT to live:
-Anywhere in the southeast except Miami.
-Austin or anywhere in Texas.
-Any small town almost anywhere in the country.

Having said that, and I have friends and business associates with mixed marriages, I would advise you to stick to larger cities and look for some nice urban townhouses. Since you listed some potential choices, my suggestion is that Portland, Sacramento, or most of the Colorado cities would be your best bet. Good luck.

NotMe Sep 6th, 2005 10:42 AM

Sacramento is a very tolerant city, clearly evidenced by the large number of inter-racial couples (black, hispanic, asian and white), as well as the sizeable gay population that reside here. That said, its understandable, but a shame you have to leave a beautiful spot like San Diego to afford a house.

GoTravel Sep 6th, 2005 11:01 AM

Everywhere Wayne?

:-D


(sorry, I couldn't resist!)

:-d

repete Sep 6th, 2005 11:04 AM

GoTravel:
It was one incident. And one horrible pack-mentality incident can happen anywhere, unless someone knows of a place where it can't.

I have years of experience here and have lived in other places mentioned, including California and Seattle, and am basing my views/comparisons a span of time in day-to-day living.

Drawing an area for one incident seems narrow minded to me. Homophobia is a national blight.

FYI, if one incident is a deal-breaker then here is a partial list of attacks on churches that belong to a gay spirituality group. It was compiled by a Canadian tolerance organization:

Partial, Representative List of Attacks:
--Sacramento, CA: church building arsoned; $600,000 in damages
--New Orleans, LA: a fire killed more than 30 persons, including the church's pastor.
--Los Angeles CA: UFMCC's "Mother Church" in Los Angeles arsoned; $90,000 damages.
--San Francisco CA: worship facility arsoned; $100,000 in damages. Threats to the pastor's life were scrawled on the church door.
--Texas: A UFMCC congregation in Texas was victimized by a hate campaign of threats by the KKK
--St.Petersburg, FL: church facility arsoned;$34,000 in damages.
--Santa Monica CA: Received a hate-filled telephone threat. Followed up with a fire; 20,000 in damages
--Richmond VA: Church's stained glass windows smashed by vandals
--Bradenton, FL: Repeatedly desecrated by spray-painted swastikas.


Tandoori_Girl Sep 6th, 2005 11:19 AM

Hello kbenbow. I live in Tampa where African-American professionals tend to live in the suburbs, very happily. My husband works for one of the larger employers in the area and they increasingly find that racial-types move to the suburb instead of the older established neighborhoods. Those older neighborhoods are generally more affluent but old money is no longer clustered in one spot as so many people in the last 15 years have moved into these urban cores, with the trend toward greater density, and into the suburbs where you can get more home for your money. The racial problems still exist but it's mostly a case of racial tension in "the projects" with the poor clashing with the police. Like most major cities, Tampa is increasingly trying to get rid of the projects and move the needy into mixed-income housing instead of projects -- this seems to be happening to a lesser degree in St. Petersburg. I was in downtown St. Pete recently where there was a "First Friday" event with jazz bands and beer sales and I was pleasantly surprised to see a mixed-race crowd. That city has always had many minorities living close to downtown and now that their downtown is being redeveloped the minorities are choosing to stay in their homes and enjoy the new amenities.

Those are my own observations -- very few African-Americans live along the beach. Orlando is also very interracial.

Tandoori_Girl Sep 6th, 2005 11:24 AM

Having said all that let me add that there is undoubtedly substantially less interracial mixing here than in major cities like NY, DC, Chicago, Philadelphia, etc.

kbenbow Sep 6th, 2005 07:05 PM

Wow, very helpful you all have been. I just posted this late last night, and there must be at least 20 threads. I should mention we moved here from Nashua, NH which is about 40 minutes north of Boston. I definately don't want to head back that way because of the snow. But, I did hear somewhere that Colorado -YES- is cold but definately not near the amount of snow that overstays its welcome in NH. Again, thanks for the honesty. Remember, we are black/white couple not Asian/white.

lynnejoel1015 Sep 6th, 2005 08:48 PM

Chicago is a wonderful, open, progressive city, as is Madison, WI. Madison in particular is very progressive. An interracial couple we're friends with is considering moving to Atlanta. Thoughts on that?

Good luck and keep us posted!

sallyjane3 Sep 7th, 2005 04:57 AM

I live just south of Atlanta. Y'all come here, y'hear? You'll be completely welcome.The weather is wonderful.Fun day or weekend trips are plentiful. And the cost of living (especially in my little town) is sooooo much better than what you describe.

girlonthego Sep 7th, 2005 05:13 AM

I would not look at the southeast. It still has the segregated mentality. I would stick to the bigger cities/suburbs because you have more open minded people. My sister in law's sister is hispanic and she married a black man. She had to purchase their home in Philadelphia area because when he came along, the realtors only showed them lower income areas. They both have good jobs and were looking at a higher income neighborhood. So, there is predjudice everywhere unfortunately. I would say California is a pretty hip state. I would look for a liberal city.

JJ5 Sep 7th, 2005 07:11 AM

Although Chicago has a terrible history, at the present time you would not be different than anyone else.

My town, SW of Chicago- Tinley Park, has many interracial families. And you could get a mansion for $450,000. Of course you are not going to get warm weather all year long.

And in my part of town there are so many people with outside of USA origins plus every combination of marriage partners or partners that you would never think about this issue.

I am actually a minority in my sub-division because I am not married and I am entirely of immigrant European origin. We have many Asian, Black, Indian, Middle East families and many mixtures of all of the above.

One of the suburbs right near me actually advertises as the place where they are trying to maintain a 50/50 balance- Park Forest, IL. And they have for about 20 years now. But I like my area better as it is more nature, a beautiful place with good schools and great parks/ park programs. Chicago is about 25 miles away. The people are community minded, much more than many other places which you might be able to label suburban.

The downside is traffic. IN TOWN as well as out. Everyone has tended to find us in the last 15 years.


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