Black-White Interracial Couple relocating
 

Hi,
I read through the other thread about the asian-white interracial couple relocating, and I am interested to see where else we might fit in. We fit right in here in San Diego, but a 2 bdrm/bath house is about $600k. The cost of living is stifling the middle income folks out here. It's terrible though - we love it here. I am having a hard time with the thought of leaving since it is near perfect for us. We prefer warm weather areas, but do not want to exclude cold ones. Can anyone make any suggestions for areas where we wouldn't stick out so much or at least where people don't stare. We really like the racial mix here. Some areas I am considering
Portland-OR
Sacramento-CA
Austin-TX
San Antonio
Colorado Sp/Denver/Fort Collins
Las Vegas
Atlanta

Seattle-too expensive/rainy;
Tampa-little nervous-maybe I can be swayed Phoenix-too damn hot/too much crime

I'm not qualified to comment on the racial aspect of your question. My only comment is that if Phoenix has too much heat and crime, Las Vegas will, also. Unless you are coming for the glitter, you would have the same objections as you have to Phoenix.

I like living on the desert about 100 miles north of Las Vegas but it is certainly hot for many months of the year.

An area I have never lived in but that several of my friends like a lot is Alburquerque/Santa Fe/Taos.

I may be wrong, but generally (I emphasize GENERALLY) I think the farther west you go, the more easy it would be to fit in.

That's a generalization that I don't think holds up very well -- too many variables.

Another factor is to look beyond the basic numbers: some cities look like they have a nice mix when you look at the overall numbers, but when you break them down some are still more segregated than others.

Best of luck and where ever you choose, try not to compare your new city to marvelous San Diego.

Of all your picks, I'd suggest Sacramento. I've been to Portland..it's very WHITE and the surrounds are frightening.

Brockton MA is very interracial and you wouldn't get a second look - actually the same could be said of Boston too. That said, I also have spent time in Colorado Springs which is a very nice place to live. Either way - you have to contend with winter and it's not an easy winter in either place. Good luck in your search!

As Dorgal points out, there are several neighborhoods and suburbs of Boston that are diverse; Brockton is one of the more affordable in general. For a more upscale town, but still a bargain compared to SD, try Milton, which borders the southern edge of Boston itself and has a minority population of about 25% as well as excellent access to transportation (public and highways) and brand-new schools. The Asian/white couple thta my daughtre babysits for have never encountered problems (or "stares") and neither have their kids.

Many of the upscale suburbs here have significant populations of Asians who have come to the area for college and stayed; my impression is that most of them marry caucasians.

The nearby city of Quincy (MA) has a significant and growing Asian population (at least 25%), but as repete warned, it's not a situation where a mixed couple would fit in: it's overflow, and folks moving up, from Chinatown.

LOL, after I posted I paid more attention to your title, rather than your comment about reading the asian-white thread. So I'll supplement my comments about Milton: It's 20% black, mostly middle-class or upper, and the interracial couple next door to me, and their kids, don't seem to have had any problems.

Portsmouth,NH
Portland,ME
Northampton,MA
Burlington,VT
Boston/Metro and suburbs
Providence,R.I.
It's hardly inexpensive to live in New England, BUT the tolerance here for intolerance is pretty low. The more university or coastal the town, the generally also the more sophisticated and liveable. You wouldn't get a first (or second) glance, for example, in Portsmouth...

I am a so called 'white' person who is married to a person from Asia, with children. I find it quite staggering that you are even having to ask this question.

I'm originally from the UK and have lived in many countries throughout the world, (although not the US) and this issue has never cropped up.

We've lived in Germany for the last 7 years and I, nor my wife have never heard a comment nor ever been stared at by anyone.

We always hear of how the US is so multi-racial and the great freedoms people enjoy there but this thread appears to dispel these notions.

Geordie

If you've eliminated Seattle b/c of weather, you should eliminate Portland for the same reason. Also, Las Vegas and San Antonio are very hot.

I wonder about east v. west. I just read a story about a woman in an interracial relationshihp. She related how she never got a second glance in LA, but in Manhattan she always felt disapproving glances and often heard rude remarks.

I wouldn't relocate anywhere without checking out the area first.

Geordie,
I am in an interracial marriage. We have lived in Europe and the US (East coast and Midwest).

My experience is that the US is much more uptight about the interracial thing than they like to admit.

It is a topic of discussion in the US, whereas in Europe no one cared at all.

Atlanta would be a great choice for you.

I live in So Cal and my best friends are an interracial couple with a baby. Don't really notice any problems, but I understand getting priced out of this area.

Have you thought about college towns? Other than California, living in Columbia, MO was the most tolerant place I've ever lived. I'm sure there are even better, prettier, more lively choices. Just an idea.

Bunchargum??????????? Travdis???????

Queenie

It would appear that your right, I even think the way the OP asks the questions i.e they won't stick out or be stared at, is being far too polite.

What the OP should ask is where can I live where racism is least likely to occur and I can get on with my life in peace.

Geordie

I live in a suburb of Portland and know several interracial families. It is not a big deal here, and I have never even thought about it until reading this post. However, if you have nixed Seattle due to grey and rain then you should know that Portland is similar.

My husband and I (hispanic and white) have never had any issues in California. We both have pretty mixed families and no one has had any problems around here.

On the east coast I'd recommend the washington DC area and probably Columbia MD and Reston VA. These areas are always racially friendly.

I'm just not certain that you would want to leave San Diego if you have great jobs, a good racial environment, and a home. Homes here in the DC area are also quite pricey and I'm not certain you'd find things really better - perhaps similar but not necessarily better.

Sometimes the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence and it really isn't.

Anyone who felt uncomfortable as an interracial couple in Manhattan is IMHO imagining things. This is one of the most diverse cities in the county. And in most places interracial, intercultural and same sex couples are quite common and perfectly well accepted. (I would say there are several such couples among my friends - but it sounds so odd - why are we even discucssing this?)

(There are unfortuntely some areas in the outer boroughs that still seem to live in the stone age - they hate not interracial couples but everyone who isn;t exactly them - but there are some ignorant bigots everywhere - and there would be no reason to even visit those areas.)

However, most of NYC is going to be out of your price range - unless you head for the far suburbs - where you would also be accepted.

You could never convince me to live in Tampa, racial tolerance notwithstanding. Eight months of summer is way too much.

You can forget interacial in DC.

My gay boyfriend was working in DC walking back to his hotel holding hands with his boyfreind and got stoned by a group of 20 or so young black kids.

I'd say that was an example of urban ignorance. Being yelled "faggot go home" and "we don't want your $hit around here" while being pelted with rocks doesn't lead to open minds.

I didn't notice DC on the list. Lord knows a white person would ever do those things, right?

I'd like to let you know that you will be very welcome in Colorado Springs. Interracial marriages are just not that big a deal here. I know numerous Hispanic-White, Black-White, Asian-White, Hispanic-Black, etc. etc. couples here. My husband was an Air Force officer and is now in the technical professional realm - he's had bosses who were from everywhere in the world and of various skin colors. I think that you would be comfortable working here.

I don't doubt that there are always opportunities for bigotry to present themselves but it does not seem to be the norm. We live just outside Colorado Springs and I know that our sub-division (mostly $250K-ish homes) is also ethnically diverse.

One incident, horrible as it is, does not a pattern make. If the OP were to eliminate any area that had at least one such disgusting incident of bigotry -- be it racial or homophobic, they'd sadly end up on Mars.

The DC area, at where I am, is a fine place for a mixed family. I live here -- and I am part of one. But I also am realistic to know that you can tun into haters anywhere.

One incident, horrible as it is, does not a pattern make. If the OP were to eliminate any area that had at least one such disgusting incident of bigotry -- be it racial or homophobic, they'd sadly end up on Mars.

The DC area, at least where I am, is a fine place for a mixed family. I live here -- and I am part of one. But I also am realistic to know that you can tun into haters anywhere.

I hate to say it, but anybody with a personal experience of interracial relationships or marriage is well aware that anywhere you go, there will be some who will stop and stare, point fingers, or worse. I realize you're looking for a place where those things will be at a minimum, but some comments here seem to suggest there is some wonderful utopia where NO ONE notices skin color. That is a dream world only.

That said, I think Portland gets my vote. The real conservatives there are far too busy gawking and pointing at the tatooed and pierced "hippies" to notice the interracial couples -- unless they also happen to be pierced and tattooed.

I have never seen anyone point fingers at my husband and I. I can't remember anyone ever stopping and staring either.

repete, it was something like 20 kids not one or two. Kids pick this behavior up somewhere they just don't develop it themselves.

Fodors folks, don't kid yourselves into thinking that the interracial problem doesn't exist. It shouldn't, but it does. Therefore I think benbow made a sensible request for our best advice. I have lived in, or done considerable business in, every sector of our country. I'd first tell you where NOT to live:
-Anywhere in the southeast except Miami.
-Austin or anywhere in Texas.
-Any small town almost anywhere in the country.

Having said that, and I have friends and business associates with mixed marriages, I would advise you to stick to larger cities and look for some nice urban townhouses. Since you listed some potential choices, my suggestion is that Portland, Sacramento, or most of the Colorado cities would be your best bet. Good luck.

Sacramento is a very tolerant city, clearly evidenced by the large number of inter-racial couples (black, hispanic, asian and white), as well as the sizeable gay population that reside here. That said, its understandable, but a shame you have to leave a beautiful spot like San Diego to afford a house.

Everywhere Wayne?

:-D


(sorry, I couldn't resist!)

:-d

GoTravel:
It was one incident. And one horrible pack-mentality incident can happen anywhere, unless someone knows of a place where it can't.

I have years of experience here and have lived in other places mentioned, including California and Seattle, and am basing my views/comparisons a span of time in day-to-day living.

Drawing an area for one incident seems narrow minded to me. Homophobia is a national blight.

FYI, if one incident is a deal-breaker then here is a partial list of attacks on churches that belong to a gay spirituality group. It was compiled by a Canadian tolerance organization:

Partial, Representative List of Attacks:
--Sacramento, CA: church building arsoned; $600,000 in damages
--New Orleans, LA: a fire killed more than 30 persons, including the church's pastor.
--Los Angeles CA: UFMCC's "Mother Church" in Los Angeles arsoned; $90,000 damages.
--San Francisco CA: worship facility arsoned; $100,000 in damages. Threats to the pastor's life were scrawled on the church door.
--Texas: A UFMCC congregation in Texas was victimized by a hate campaign of threats by the KKK
--St.Petersburg, FL: church facility arsoned;$34,000 in damages.
--Santa Monica CA: Received a hate-filled telephone threat. Followed up with a fire; 20,000 in damages
--Richmond VA: Church's stained glass windows smashed by vandals
--Bradenton, FL: Repeatedly desecrated by spray-painted swastikas.

Hello kbenbow. I live in Tampa where African-American professionals tend to live in the suburbs, very happily. My husband works for one of the larger employers in the area and they increasingly find that racial-types move to the suburb instead of the older established neighborhoods. Those older neighborhoods are generally more affluent but old money is no longer clustered in one spot as so many people in the last 15 years have moved into these urban cores, with the trend toward greater density, and into the suburbs where you can get more home for your money. The racial problems still exist but it's mostly a case of racial tension in "the projects" with the poor clashing with the police. Like most major cities, Tampa is increasingly trying to get rid of the projects and move the needy into mixed-income housing instead of projects -- this seems to be happening to a lesser degree in St. Petersburg. I was in downtown St. Pete recently where there was a "First Friday" event with jazz bands and beer sales and I was pleasantly surprised to see a mixed-race crowd. That city has always had many minorities living close to downtown and now that their downtown is being redeveloped the minorities are choosing to stay in their homes and enjoy the new amenities.

Those are my own observations -- very few African-Americans live along the beach. Orlando is also very interracial.

Having said all that let me add that there is undoubtedly substantially less interracial mixing here than in major cities like NY, DC, Chicago, Philadelphia, etc.

Wow, very helpful you all have been. I just posted this late last night, and there must be at least 20 threads. I should mention we moved here from Nashua, NH which is about 40 minutes north of Boston. I definately don't want to head back that way because of the snow. But, I did hear somewhere that Colorado -YES- is cold but definately not near the amount of snow that overstays its welcome in NH. Again, thanks for the honesty. Remember, we are black/white couple not Asian/white.

Chicago is a wonderful, open, progressive city, as is Madison, WI. Madison in particular is very progressive. An interracial couple we're friends with is considering moving to Atlanta. Thoughts on that?

Good luck and keep us posted!

I live just south of Atlanta. Y'all come here, y'hear? You'll be completely welcome.The weather is wonderful.Fun day or weekend trips are plentiful. And the cost of living (especially in my little town) is sooooo much better than what you describe.

I would not look at the southeast. It still has the segregated mentality. I would stick to the bigger cities/suburbs because you have more open minded people. My sister in law's sister is hispanic and she married a black man. She had to purchase their home in Philadelphia area because when he came along, the realtors only showed them lower income areas. They both have good jobs and were looking at a higher income neighborhood. So, there is predjudice everywhere unfortunately. I would say California is a pretty hip state. I would look for a liberal city.

Although Chicago has a terrible history, at the present time you would not be different than anyone else.

My town, SW of Chicago- Tinley Park, has many interracial families. And you could get a mansion for $450,000. Of course you are not going to get warm weather all year long.

And in my part of town there are so many people with outside of USA origins plus every combination of marriage partners or partners that you would never think about this issue.

I am actually a minority in my sub-division because I am not married and I am entirely of immigrant European origin. We have many Asian, Black, Indian, Middle East families and many mixtures of all of the above.

One of the suburbs right near me actually advertises as the place where they are trying to maintain a 50/50 balance- Park Forest, IL. And they have for about 20 years now. But I like my area better as it is more nature, a beautiful place with good schools and great parks/ park programs. Chicago is about 25 miles away. The people are community minded, much more than many other places which you might be able to label suburban.

The downside is traffic. IN TOWN as well as out. Everyone has tended to find us in the last 15 years.