My husband and I broke the bed at a B&B in NY. How embarassing! I have stayed at some nice ones, but I agree, no sex allowed!

For some reason, I never feel like I am on vacation when I have stayed at a B&B. Not that I dont like them, but they dont seem to have the privacy I like away from home.

ttt for the B&B poster

I topped this thread for the B&B poster on another thread, as I think it contains some fairly balanced opinions from both sides.

Personally, I'm one of those who can't stand B&Bs. We've tried them in the U.S. and Britain and have never had a good experience. Most were actually someone's home, complete with the dilapidated furnishings, while a couple of them were very posh, but had very obtrusive and controlling owners who actually monitored us to ensure that we didn't damage their pricey, renovated interiors, I suppose.

During road trips we also like to travel with a small cooler, and boy, did we get the evil eye and exchange of owner glances when we brought it in along with our luggage! I don't need to be monitored or "catered" to during my vacation, I just need peace, quiet and privacy, which I've personally never found at a B&B.

Makes me want to stay at a hotel when we go to Maine this summer. Can't be that bad.

Another reason for staying at bed and breakfasts is affordability. I simply can't afford the high price of staying at a decent hotel, and have no patience for researching bids on Priceline. But I think that it's rather fun to research bed and breakfasts on the internet, and, for under $100 {often way under}, my husband and I have stayed at some wonderful places.

We have also stayed at a few places that we would not go to again because of paper thin walls, grouchy owners, etc., but the vast majority have been a good experience.

Bill, I suggest that either you had some unlucky bad experiences at bed and breakfasts, or you are simply not a bed and breakfast person. Why torture yourself; if you continue to dislike them, stay at hotels. Choice of accommodation is an individual preference; choosing one over the other is not indicitive of a character flaw!

For the hardcore anti-B&B'ers: fine, Don't stay there. Sometimes you want the feel of a "real" hotel to feel like you are on vacation.

But for those still pondering the trade-offs, consider what you do and don't like about B&B's then do a little homework before you book, as "maybe" suggested 2 yrs. ago. More often than you'd think, you get what you pay for. If it's on the cheap, it'll be on the cheap in many cases. But there are other considerations, too.

Size matters. If there are only a couple of rooms, you'll feel less private and more at the mercy of the owner's tastes and whims. If you get up to 8 or 10 rooms, you can expect a bit more professionalism (including a maid, perhaps), and much more than that really constitutes a boutique hotel. Similarly, the more rooms, the more likely you are to have a sense of privacy and avoid sharing a bath if you don't want to share.

I've had good and bad experiences and generally avoid the cheap places that only have a handful of rooms. I'm more likely to stay at a B&B when I'm on a trip designed to acquaint me with an unfamiliar city or region or culture, just for the experience of meeting an Actual Person and having a breakfast that wasn't designed to please business travelers. I'm less likely to stay at a B&B in familiar places when I have business or a particular reason (art exhibit) and do not want to take the time for a little immersion. Even then, I'll still be careful about reading CLOSELY the description of the place.

"Quaint, homey..." is a red flag. "Rustic" is an automatic no-go. "Away from the hustle and bustle of....." can mean you need a dogsled to get back to the city. "Friendly management" can mean busy-bodies. And so on. I'm sure there's a long funny list of these signals somewhere, but you can certainly add your own.

There are times when I just can't face one more chain hotel/motel with the same unnatural-fabric shiny stiff bedcovering, the same brown plastic ice bucket, the same dim penny-pinching fluorescent light bulbs in the lamps, the same disinfected-raspberry bathroom deodorant smell, the same cue-ball hard muffins on the breakfast buffet, the same swivel-TV cabinet, and the same funky chlorinated green pool full of shrieking kids at 11 pm.

Sometimes, staying in an odd-shaped room that doesn't look like any other in the same building, let alone in other hotels, going to sleep between fresh, cotton sheets under a hand-made quilt, having breakfast on a porch overlooking a garden and eating someone's newest omelet-inspiration and fresh rolls is a true vacation from same-old same-old.

I differentiate between inns - which are larger and professionally (at least to some extent) run and B&Bs. Have stayed in the latter only once and would not do it again. The owners were way too intrusive and wanted us to follow their rules - i breakfast when I like - within reason - and to say it has to be by 8am is IMHO ridiculous. And what I plan to do that day is my business and not anyone else's - especially people who IMO have some very odd POVs about local attactions. (Yes, I was roped into this by a girlfriend against my better judgement. I have stayed in gasthouses and pensions in euope that I loved and thought this might be similar - it was not. Too tacky and too intrusive.) I would do an inn (if large and seemed to be run properly) - but a B&B will never see me again.

Mabe it matters that I'm a New Yorker and used to privacy and some decent reticence in those around me. (In college I went home with a friend one weekend. She lived in a small town - and everyone in the town knew who I was before I arrived. It was really creepy - like being in a Stepford wives movie. I can't believe that so many people have such empty lives that they're interested in someone they've never met - and the roommate of the child of a neighbor to boot! How do people that live in small towns put up with this?)

I just love(?) swinging generalities. We have stayed in wonderful B&B's - the Arundel outside of Victoria,BC and ghastly ones (f'r instance in Straford-upon-Avon that we couldn't get out of fast enough. We were afraid to eat there!!) as well as many in between.

We have also stayed in chain hotels that were great and also horrible. :-B