I've tried, but I just can't see anything about this post that is funny or has any merit.

Don't quit your day job.

I find some of this very funny and also a breath of fresh air after the tiresome, negative posts about places that certain posters feel compelled to tell us they find boring or "tacky."

I think it's hilarious! :D Lighten up a little, Cargill. It's the weekend!

and what's with the National and State Parks programs? Let's just develop the whole shebang. Who needs public viewing areas?

I'm all for condos and mansions lining the Grand Canyon.

And Nebraska!! Why????? Just think how much faster you could escape that crime and poverty in Chicago and get to your Grand Canyon condow-with-a-view if you didn't have to haul *** thru Nebraaaaska! Just put a crease in the map, take out your scissors and snip-snip - You could save four hours!!

...maybe one day a tornado will just blow Kansas and Nebraski completely off the map to save that blasted driving time....
but seriously, if all else fails, where else but the USA can you just pick a place and have a "cheeseburger in paradise". And even if it's not paradise, it's always 5 o'clock somewhere. ((d))
GOD BLESS THE USA!

It's not that it's so boring that bothers me, it's just that so many places they won't spend the money to do what is logical.

Take Niagra Falls for example. If you've ever ridden The Maid of the Mist you know you can't even get up to the falls for all that water. What's more there is no point where you can actually see the rocky cliffs of the falls because so much water obscures it. And the noise is deafening. So how hard would it be to spend a little money and build some sort of diversion to get the water around on another route so we could really see what the falls looks like under all that water? And at the same time get rid of that horrible noise?

Then there's the Grand Canyon. Do you have any idea how far it is to drive all the way around from the north rim to the south rim? And what's more in the winter you can't even get to the North rim. So why can't they build a nice big 6 lane concrete interstate bridge across it and make it easier for all of us to see both sides without all that driving?

Don't get me started on The Statue of Liberty where they stuck it out in the water instead of logically on the land where people could walk right up to it. Or Mount Rushmore stuck way out in the middle of nowhere. Why couldn't they have molded those faces out of concrete and put them in midtown Manhattan where so many more people could enjoy them?

Nobody thinks any more. I guess that's the problem.

And about those redwoods. I just might have to sue the US Government. Why are they protecting them? Why not cut them down to eye level so everyone can enjoy them with out injuring their necks?

You're right Patrick, nobody thinks anymore.

Sometimes I think NYC just doesn't use its land properly. Take Ellis Island, for example, it's a prime piece of land - 27.5 acres to be exact. Come on now, don't you think Donald would like to develop something grand on that property? Some exclusive city within a city for the masses? This historical significance business is just getting old. People would just as easily ferry over and visit one of his *towers* to shop and lunch. I think this idea is a real *winner*

And let's talk Yellowstone and all that thermal activity....have you seen all that pollution and mud pots they create?

The heads are Mount Rushmore are just fine where they are, thank you very much. They just need to put a cafeteria in G.W.'s nose.

repete: that's good!

With shops to go with it!! They could call the whole complex "Nasal Passage"!

hee,hee,hee, Patrick!

To paraphrase Eric Stratten:

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules -- we did. But you can't hold a whole board responsible for the actions of a few sick, perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole Fodors community? And if the whole Fodors community is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of the worldwide web in general? I put it to you ... isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do what you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!

Patrick :D
They will rival those in Paris!

LDLee: I guess it would be safe to say that your not a fan of the Daily Show.

LDLee is as funny as anyone else here!

But it's worth looking at the positive side, I admit. I mean, what other country could come up with cheese-fries, chicken-fried-steak, and the glorious cultural and educational experience that is a theme park. It's your own fault if you're going to those stupid, smelly National Parks when you could be at Epcot (which, by the way, will spare you from having to cope with Europe -- but that's a whole nother topic).

" LDLee: I guess it would be safe to say that your not a fan of the Daily Show"

Huh!? I paraphrase a quote from Animal House (one of, if not, the great comedies) and you think I don't like The Daily Show. Huh!?

You need a broader education about satire.

...yes I do! After I posted my remark, I thought "duh" where have I heard that before? LOL :D

This has been a very interesting thread. A friend of mine who moved here from Germany a couple of years ago has made a point to visit as much of the U.S. as possible, and he recently said that he found all of our country to be practically indistinguishable from the rest. For example, he said all the malls have the same stores, the same look to them, and even the people look alike. He said in Europe each town has a different look and personality, etc. You know, I think he's right. We're kind of Stepford America.

I take offense to your German friend's remark Patrick.

My Gap, Walmart, Barnes & Noble, Mickey D's, and Starbucks is much more unique than any other.

I mean really, has your friend even been to a Sam's Club:-D

cfc, you forgot the mother of all, drumroll please.. deep fried twinkies!

Seetheworld: I understand. I get plenty of brain freezes.

Postal. I agree. for example, I live in Houston. I can see how people will confuse it with other parts of the country.

Our snow skiing is fantastic. We should be the permanent host of the winter olympics. My friends in Denver are ready to move here. The beaches rival Florida, the surfing is better than Hawaii. Our historical monuments blow away Washington D.C, Philadelphia and Boston. The old world charm of our downtown puts New Orleans and Charleston to shame. I love Houston Style Pizza. Much better than Chicago and New York. And the cheesesteaks, Philadelphia should rollover and be dead. Why go to St. Louis when you can see our golden arches. Our new metro train is much more fun to ride than a trolley car in San Francisco. And we don't have to worry about a terrorist blowing up our Golden Gate Bridge, just our refineries and chemical plants. The summers are so mild here, that people are moving here from southern California. The only places I can thnk of that would rival Houston as a tourist destination are Dallas and San Jose.

I've heard about this tourist site called the Space Needle, it's pretty boring because you can't even get to it. Who would ever visit a needle in space, and who put it there in the first place? What happens when it falls back to earth, who gets stuck with that deal? The US taxpayers no doubt. I suppose NASA thinks they have this one all sewn up.

And what's the deal with Vegas?!? Every night we were there was ruined by those gangs of pirates fighting outside our hotel. And that place across the road had such plumbing problems that they had to haul people up and down the halls in boats! And why in the world would they build a place so close to an active volcano? They really need better zoning laws there!

And I don't get the attraction of Hawaii. I can get the same vivid colours of the roadside wildflowers in silk. Lush gardens, ha! I'll take my little bonsai anyday. (wink)

LDLee -

There's only one response to your post ---- ROAD TRIP!!!!

"I never was a fan, and "Horse With No Name" has to be one of the worst songs of all time."

I agree, but I used to love driving down a Ventura Highway in a convertible with my Sister Golden Hair surprise. Actually, it seems that Everyone I Meet is From California, even if they're Lonely People. So, as I think of being with my Woman Tonight, give it Another Try, don't be a Tin Man because Today's the Day, Only in Your Heart, that You Can Do Magic.

((H))

I can't stand a boring ride down highway 1 to Big Sur. It really sucks big time. It really ticks me off when I have to take stroll on the beach when it's 70 degrees in the middle of January. Bummer.

LDLee, the suggestion for you to do a road trip is, indeed, a good one. That way you could enjoy the greenery of the "new" I-10, which you failed to mention in your list of Houston's most beautiful features.

Shame on you....

LDLee,
And that show was educational too. I won't visit Germany or buy a German car because of Pearl Harbor.

Oh heck. Lets just build Wal-Marts everwhere and screw up all of America. Those ten acre parking lots are so beautiful and they get rid of those pesky trees. Besides, we all need to buy more products from communist China and put Americans out of business.

And let's build more gaudy shopping malls instead of needed housing for thwe have nots.

<i> Big Yellow Taxi!</i>

meets

<i>This Land Is Your Land</i>

Yes more parking lots for all! Who needs trees. One our Calfornia governors , that went on to much bigger and better things, once said &quot;You've seen one redwood tree you've seen 'em all.&quot; Boy he was sure right.

Oops, sorry for the typos. Cocktail hour started early today.

And the envelople please:
((if my side will stop hurting))

1st Place goes to:
Icuy 1/22/2005 12:28 a.m. &quot;Hawaii&quot;

2nd Place goes to:
DixieChick 1/22/2005 12:15 p.m.
&quot;Redwoods&quot;

funny stuff....thanks folks...

Plus:

The color green can get very monotonous in Seattle.

And what's with the brick in Boston?

Why do all the buildings in Miami look like they came from Don Johnson's wardrobe.

Why do you need basketballs at LA Lakers games? You can just use the breasts of a typical female Angeleno.

Did y'all know you can get a &quot;Cheeseburger in Paradise&quot; IN KANSAS?!!!! Yep, right next to the NASCAR race track.

Things I love about America: ice in my drink, toilets I know how to flush and McD's off the freeways.

Travel is fun, home should be boring.