Just remember, keep it SHORT.

It could be as bad as looking through someone's pictures of their kids. The first one is fine. The tenth one is torture. Uggh....

Just because something fascinates you doesn't mean others will find it fascinating.

I find most people's vacation stories painfully boring unless it is somewhere I want to go or have been.

No one wants to hear about my plastic surgery tales either...hee hee...

I know that belongs on another board but just so you can relate, you might be repelled by blow by blow plastic surgery stories just like some of your friends don't care about your travels.

I agree, most people don't want to hear my precious stories on my discovery of the southwest.

My pictures are vague to say the least. A pix of plump me on the million $ highway's Molas Pass looks like I am in front of a big hill. Arches and puppy blend in with a whole lot of red rock. Who'd want to see 6 rolls of this?

I just use them to remember that I got on the trail and had wonderful adventures.

Ha, ha, stay-at-homes.

I love to travel, but don't find hearing more than 15 minutes about someone else's trip very interesting, and I gnerally find other people's travel photos quite boring.

So, I never expect anyon to be very interested in my travels, and don't feel "shunned" when they aren't. At work, I may answer with a couple of sentences, and only continue if people ask questions.

I like hearing about trips and looking at pictures. But a few minutes is enough for me. I don't need to see 15 different views of the Empire State Building or 10 different pictures of a palm tree.

I hate looking at pictures of people in their hotel rooms.

When I was a kid (60's)I used to hate watching a slide projector show for an hour of someone else's trip.

My husband and I found this out long ago. We rarely tell anyone we are going on another vacation they already know we travel often (about every 6 weeks). The worst has to be my mother in law and my husband's family. Last week my MIL asked him who he thought he was going on all these trips. People just don't want to hear it. They also don't want to hear that you are doing well, that you have a nice house, nice cars,nice things go out for dinner....etc. Actually the worst culprits of this behavior is my DH's family.

A good friend picked us up at the airport when we returned from a recent trip. As we drove home (an hour) he never once asked, "How was your trip?". This is a guy who never takes a vacation though, so I guess it makes sense. Priorities. He probably thinks we're nuts going to Kaua`i for two weeks!

-Bill

My 2 cents...

Shunned? No. Has any friend not really been interested in my trips? It's happened. I do make anyone I consider a dear friend listen to how a trip affected me (especially somewhere new for me), because I find that everywhere I travel to that I've never been before has opened my eyes in some way great or small. In my mind, a true friend will want to know how at least in broad terms how I've been affected after a trip. In my mind, I always listen with open-mind and open-heart to my chatterbox friends' love, work and whatever other ups-and-downs, so they know they'd darned well better listen to my trip ;) LOL! (They're all without exception chatterboxes and know the rules! LOL)

And most listen with an equally open-heart... with the exception of one; him I nearly got into a fight with after my last trip to Mexico, so uninterested he confessed to be with my photos and thoughts on my trip. For him, a Salvadorean who left El Salvador at age 7, some pictures and thoughts I had shared just seemed typically Latin American and not news to him. Since then, I let him flip through my photo albums (never more than 100 photos on pages containing 4 photos) after trips as quick as he likes, although like all friends he has to endure a certain amount of commentary. *He* since then though has grown to appreciate that I have an understanding of Latin America (although only through the lense of Monterrey and Mexico City) that I didn't have before, and respects my newfound fluidity in Spanish. So we worked through that one after a brief explosion...

I guess different folk here have different sorts of frienships, but that's how things work with my friend set here in Montreal.

DAN

Like many of us on this site, I have people in my life who are content to stay just where they are and never see what's outside their immediate area (many of them don't even explore their hometowns). Just like I don't like to be shunned for loving to travel, I don't shun or judge them for wanting to stay where they are.

I spent 2 weeks in Egypt this winter and when asked by non-travelers what I did, I simply said "rode a camel and looked at the pyramids". I told them I posted my pics and a trip report on line and if they wanted to check it out. Most were happy with that oh so brief blurb...some did look at the pics, others didn't.

The most important thing for me was that I enjoyed my adventures and learned to appreciate more of the world in which I live.

I travel, am interested in what is going on in the lives of my friends. But please spare me from seeing 1,000 vacation photos and hearing about every meal eaten on someone elses trip.

I follow the "5" rule - in my opinion most people lose interest after 5 photos and 5 minutes about someone elses event/travel - that includes baby shower, travel, home improvement, etc.

Who cares what your friends think? Do you travel just to get kudos from your friends? I've traveled all over the world because I wanted to see it. I could care less what anyone else thinks. Sometimes people who are about to travel ask me questions about where they are going and I am glad to share my thoughts. But, I would never think to force someone to listen to my trip reports unless they first showed an interest.

I'm shunned all the time and I work in a one man office. :'(

I'm with you Gail. I usually limit my "travel tales" to "Great, thanks" if someone asks & add details/photos if they ask for more.

OPE's (Other People's Experiences) are a bit like Dreams, I think. Endlessly fascinating to ourselves ....... :)

...ah, but jorr, if you enjoyed your trip, then what is the diff, in the long run ... and you may always post it here and someone will read it and smile, lucky, jorr, what a nifty trip. Ciao.

I can understand friends not being interested in looking at tons of pictures or hearing endless stories of someone else's travels, but if your friends "shun" you when you return from a trip, I think you need to find some new friends.

I think most of the folks here are right on the money - keep it short!

And consider the talk leading up to the trip as part of the equation. The more you talk about your trip during the planning process, I've found, the less people want to hear when it's over. There's just a limit to how much people can take. I'm sure I've caused the following internal-external conversation myself:

"I'm thrilled you had the trip of a lifetime (especially since I heard about the advantages and drawbacks of every hotel you considered for even a split second. Thank God it will be a year or so before you plan another trip)."

"Oh, the car rental agency you used was a problem? I'm sorry to hear that. (I thought maybe one of the other three you talked to before the trip might be better - dope.)

"Yes, I'd love to see THREE or FOUR of your best photos (but no more - God, please deliver me from this penance)."

"I'm glad you had a lovely time (now would you please put a sock in it, for the love of Pete?)"

Tell it all to Fodorville - that's why it's here!

Maybe the friends are jerks, or MAYBE...

Have you made then watch 2 hours of underwater diving video, especially night dives, and then narrated the whole thing with commentary like "OK, I know it's black on the screen, but if you could see it, there's a grouper right there"?

Have you ever shown 2 full albums of pictures of sheep pastures in Ireland to a person who just got off a flight from another time zone?

Maybe "shun" isn't the correct word. That implies a certain amount of rudeness. Perhaps it's more like running for cover when they see you coming so as to not have to hear about your trip. It's sort of like not wanting to bump into to someone that likes to talk about her gall bladder surgery on and on and on.

I'm sure that you are an enjoyable person to be with, but your trip may not be all that interesting to others and they really can't understand why you went to all that bother and expense.

"Perhaps it's more like running for cover when they see you coming so as to not have to hear about your trip."

Ah, now I think you've answered the question. If people must "run for cover" when they see you coming because they know they are going to get a trip report without even asking about it, then the problem is with the traveler, not the innocent bystander. Why on earth would someone want to talk about their trip to people who haven't expresed an interest?

IMO there is nothing more boring than someone droning on and on about their trip and showing you a bunch of photos...even though for the person dpoing the droning it was truly fabulous.

This is the reason why I never talk about our own trips unless someone specifically asks for information or to see the pictures.

I've never been shunned but I know who would be interested in my travels and who would not. I do notice I tend not to talk about my travels unless asked because it feels like bragging. I have few friends that travel as far or as often as I do.
On the receiving end- I like to hear about family, friends and co-workers trips and I like to look at their photos. Some people take nice pictures. I learn from their experiences. Like I do all of yours :-)

Somewhere on one of the Fodor forums, someone quoted a famous person re travel, the gist of which was that:

Someone who's not interested in travel (either their own or others') is akin to someone content to read only the first page of a book, numerous times over.

I can't understand eating tofu, either, but I guess I must be tolerant of those who do. (it's hard)

I won't show my pictures unless specifically asked nor will I even discuss our trips unless some type of interest is shown.

I recently had the experience of saying something about our trip from the Black Sea to the North Sea and had a supposedly educated adult ask where that was. :-L

We had a friend say,"Isn't Slovakia near Turkey?"

Can't say that I've been "shunned", but have definitely come across friends less than interested. I've even had co-workers page through my photo/scrapbooks without looking at one item in them all the while talking about what was happening to them while I was away. I just smile. Life goes on. They are trying to be polite.

When people ask how my vacation was, I answer it was "Great", "Fine", "Terrific", whatever and wait for them. If they wish to ask question or carry it further, I'll provide a few more details. If not, I'll drop it. I'll usually bring my photo/scrapbook into work for a few days after coming back to work, and if anyone is interested in looking at it, hey it's right over there - help yourself. I don't push it.

I'm not always interested in their stuff, I don't expect them to be just as interested in mine.

As far as other's vacations? Love to hear about them. And yeah, I even like detail. Well, perhaps I can skip DisneyWorld. I love looking at photos, but quite frankly? A lot of people do really boring stuff with photos and that's a shame. They take LOTS of landscape pictures (really, exactly how many times did you need to capture that specific tree??? And exactly what is it??) or - EGADS! - architecture photos, especially in Europe. (Okay....my guess is that it's a church. But where, and which one, and why did you take 20 shots of the same door and include them all!?!?!) I find shots of people more interesting - especially of the people who actually went on the vacation. Now, my friend in front of the tree that was somehow so fascinating, or standing in the doorway of that church that is somewhere in the French countryside that must of meant something to some one.

Okay, enough rambling, as I'm sure I've made my own blunders!

If you are really being "shunned" I'm wondering if that "great" vacation is sounding a little too "great" in the re-telling..and yes, i am certain you are not the "bragging kind."

But do they also "shun" you when you get back from a "not so great" vacation or are those the ones you never talk about?

I agree with those who only elaborate on any vacation if, and only if genuine interest is shown..and even then the whole conversation has to be somewhat carefully controlled sometimes.

Possible reasons:
1. Friends are used to having more or less 2-way conversations and so aren't expecting to become passive audience for a report. You've had a significant experience and want to process and share it, proportionately to how big it is in your life. They, on the other hand, aren't really expecting to have the give-and-take of routine chitchat interrupted by a long "and then we...and then we... and then we..." session where they listen and you talk. For them, it's an interruption in your customary 50-50 sharing, and can be off-putting. I usually start my return-home conversations with "tell me what's been going on with you while we were away," and then I see if they get to the "now tell me about your TRIP!" part. If not, it'll be a waste of breath for me to even try to share.

2. They don't have your money or means and resent what feels like having their nose rubbed in what you can afford to do and they can't.

3. They've never traveled, have narrow horizons, and can't imagine the appeal.

4. You didn't bring them a present.

5. While you were gone, they got fired.

6. You talk about the places you've been as if no one else has ever been there before and it's up to you to introduce them to what is missing in their life.

jorr -- don't take the "you" in any of these as personally addressed to you, specifically -- just generic speculation.

The remedy? Save chatter about the trip to those who love travel -- for instance, other Fodorites!

We love to travel, but, frankly, most people's vacation "adventures" are pretty boring after about 5 minutes--"Then we went here and we saw this and it was beautiful or disappointing or expensive or ..., and they eat this or that and it is better than anything in the USA or the most disgusting stuff I ever tasted..., and driving was easy or horrible..., and the weather was rainy, sunny, perfect, horrible..., and and... .

Most vacation photo collections are dreadful static shots of buildings and mountains not half so good as what you can see on the Travel Channel, Public Television, the National Geographic Channel, or a nice coffee table book.

What really was exciting and interesting for the traveler is usually boring and tedious for those who get it second-hand.

Going thru it right now after our Chicago trip.

I thought my friends would be tickled pink for me when I got to meet and get my picture with one of my late Father's football heroes in Chicago.
Oh well.....time to win the $300mil+ Powerball and buy and island.

I'd make an excellent hermit. 8-}

..oh....and when I did work in a large office, when I got back I'd post a sign outside my office:

1: It was very nice.
2: It was too short.
3: The Weather was nice
4: Oh really?
5: Thanks....it's great to be back.

:-D

Kal -- I'm tickled pink about your trip to Chicago -- whom did you run into? Did you perhaps eat at Ditka's and see him? Tell me more. (I'm totally serious -- I love to hear stuff like that)

I forgot about this post. I actually have a friend who is in a bit of a snit with me apparently. She asked about any forthcoming vacation plans and I casually mentioned a very possible trip I would have next year, probably in May. Immediately I heard the coldness in her voice along with some irritation, jealousy or whatever.

Kal, isn't is "fun", NOT, to have something wonderful to share and then to find out that no one is interested? Win the lottery, buy an island and become a hermit. Sounds good to me ;;)

I hope when you have time you will give us a trip report. I too would love to hear about your trip to Chicago! Take care.

My husband and I just booked our first trip to Africa for a safari and we are beyond thrilled. So, when our friends asked us that night at dinner "what's new?", I told them. Their response was "yuck, dirty animals and tents-- not our thing.", and proceeded to order a CALIFORNIA ROLL at Nobu 57. So, i guess it depends on who you are trying to share your trip with. If I had said we were going to the Ocean Club in the Bahamas or Bellagio in Vegas, then they would have been all ears because that is the type of trip that they enjoy. Different strokes.

Hi bugswife, I believe you are correct. This particular friend has only been to Europe once and they spent the entire three weeks at Costa del Sol (think that is the correct name) in Spain. They didn't see anywhere else in Spain, they just stayed at the condo, beach and visited with all of the other tourist. Yes, different strokes indeed. Take care!

people who believe other people should be fascinated by their travels have huge egos and have get over theirselves. I couldn't imagine anyone liking me to talk about where I've gone. The only time I comment on where I've gone (usually 5 minutes tops) is if it is local and people don't think there is anywhere to go in the area and it is something they could actually enjoy one weekend.

To people who love travel, the whole experience can be so special and amazing that we want to share it with others so they can experience it too, but it really is hard to recreate the emotional experience, so most discussions about travel become factual recitations - that can get pretty tiresome.

When I go on a great trip, and people ask me about it, I try to keep it short and high level - something about a location that I didn't expect or that was exceptionally wonderful. But I won't get into details unless people really ask detailed questions. I love to travel, but I have to confess that some people's stories can get boring quickly.

> 1: It was very nice.
> 2: It was too short.
> 3: The Weather was nice
> 4: Oh really?
> 5: Thanks....it's great to be back.

Kal, what a great idea. Just think of the billions of saved hours every year, if everyone who went on vacation posted this sign on their offices and cubicles.

I think I'd make the following changes:

1: Thanks, it was great.
2: Yes it was too short.
3: The weather was nice.
4: Oh really?
5: No.

If everyone who came back from a vacation posted this sign outside their offices and cubicles we'd save billions of man-hours every year.

stephanie - that is a pretty blanket statement. i love to hear about other people's vacations and give them my undivided attention. you never know what you will learn from other folk's experiences--good and bad. i would think that if a friend asked what was new with me & i replied that i had booked a trip, that they just might show a little interest. not because i have an ego, but because that is what friends do. but then on the other hand i have friends that don't give a hoot about what i have done on my trips until THEY take the same trip and want all my notes, books and maps.

Steph,
=-O <i>Huge egos</i> on Fodor's!!!!
I'll alert the media!!!
What next? There's gambling at Rick's?

This from the gal who defends The Pitt to the death? ;)

fdeccarlo,
Maybe a sign designed by Fodor's??
Maybe we can get a Fodor's pin that says &quot;Ask me about my vacation&quot;? :))

Worse than people who could care less about your travels are people who ask me or Mrs Kal <i>&quot;How can you afford all of these trips&quot;</i>?

We still haven't figger'd out exactly how to take that one? :-|