"This sort of think doesn't happen in well-run restaurants."

I would have to disagree. It does happen in well-run restaurants. Relationships are relationships. I certainly hope that restaurant owners/staff are never expected to treat all customers like strangers because some customers may be offended by their familiarity. I can understand if it impacted your service in any way, but it didn't.

Regulars keep restaurants in business. Return business is the best indicator of a restaurant's success. It's a good thing...for most people anyway.

HTTY said: "I'm talking about sloppy or no management.
This sort of think doesn't happen in well-run restaurants."

Like starrs, my experience suggests that it does indeed happen, even in the best-run restaurants. Some professions, and restaurant work is one of them, have a transient workforce. Given how taxing and challenging and dirty restaurant work is and how low the pay usually is, that shouldn't be at all surprising. Many folks in this profession that I knew felt they had little to look forward to in life except to "party hearty" once they got off work.

And members of a transient type of workforce (in my experience) often don't value or care about their "profession." That's equally true of security guards, crop pickers, maids, low-end retail clerks, and other workers who fit this description. Not that I'm going to condemn them, either.

And in most all the restaurants I've worked at (and I've worked at ones at several levels), it's not at all unusual to encounter management that is shoddy and incompetent, sometimes even dishonest.

I can tell Happy Trails has a complaint, but for the life of me I can't figure out what exactly it is.

bachslunch, I didn't express myself well.
I like returning to small family owned restaurants and becoming a regular. I've received very friendly service that I now wonder if HTTY would have been offended to see. Those restaurants were well-run, otherwise I would not have become a regular. If I receive bad service I do not return.

Interesting concept for building a clientele: Make such as ostentatious fuss over repeat customers that it repulses new customers. I'll run it past my friends in marketing.

HTTY

It's hard to imagine that is what happened.

In 1968 a friend told me that she couldn't imagine Julie Nixon and David Eisenhower having sex, but they have three children and they've been married for more than forty years.

It's hard to imagine that somebody could sit in the main dining room of a four-star Seattle hotel for twenty minutes with a view of six tables overflowing with dirty dishes. But, when I pointed out my view to the manager, she comped our meal

When I wrote Tom Douglas about an incident such as I'm talking about here, he refunded the cost of our meal and gave us a generous gift certificate for a future meal.

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect hospitality from those in the hospitality industry.

HTTY

I'm with suze--totally baffled. Were you recompensed for the slight, or not? Did it happen in 1968, lol?

I think you're being too high-minded, HTTY. Lower the tone and tell us exactly what the heck happened, already!

I don't think it is the server fawning over the other table that causes problems. It's when the server fawns over one table AT THE EXPENSE of another of their tables that causes a problem. As in, he's over there chitchatting, not looking around, and I'm madly trying to catch his eye to order another drink or get Ketchup.

Then yes, my service has suffered, and the tip will be reduced.

If the server is fawning, but i still get decent service, I won't cut the tip just because I wished I was the popular table!

I have had this happen to me before.

To be fair, it was a Friday night and the restaurant was packed. The waiter sneared when we (husband and I) ordered water (how dare we!?!) and took forever to bring it out. Our meals took at least 45 minutes after we ordered to come and were brought by a runner. Our waiter NEVER returned to our table until we were done eating. We told him we did not want dessert and he sulked off to get our check- at least another half hour wasted waiting for that. My water glass was not refilled once.

I could have chalked this up to the packedness of the place, but the table right next to us- a couple with 2 kids- was getting great service. They were also ordering appetizers and beers and wine with their meals. The tables were so close together that waiter had to blatantly look away to avoid eye contact with us as he passed our table on the way to theirs.

I went to the same restaurant several months later with a friend and happened to get the same waiter. We received the same lousy service. It was a Tuesday around 5 pm. I think we were his only table. This guy is just a Bad Waiter. You are bound to get one once in awhile.

WHAT HAPPENED??????????????????

The best I can tell you are mad because you perceive the waiter was nicer to other tables than he/she was to you? Is that it?

I'm not mad.
I'm not angry.
I'm not fit to be tied.
I'm not bent out of shape.
I'm not ticked off.
I'm not doing a slow burn.

And, I'm not going to throw more fuel on the fire.

HTTY

Threads about tipping never seem to get much response.

Well then we can only answer the one question as you originally posed. And the answer to that question is "yes". I'm not sure why you'd start a post and then be so mysterious about the actual circumstances of the event.

What Kuy said is the crux, and the reason we reduced our tip. We got bad service. If you got adequate service, then if another table is having more "fun" with the waiter, what's that to you.