Lea here--what's the one very, very, very best tip you can give for soloing?
 

Mine would be trust your gut. What's yours?
Lea

Sorry for the above repeat. Since I gave an inadvertant second tip, I'll give a real one:
Be open to possibilities!
Would love to hear ones from you soloists....
Lea

I never carry a purse. I have a nice all weather jacket with a zippered inside pocket (where I carry cash and credit card) and it has several outside pockets for camera, glasses, etc.) I have a small umbrella that will actually fit in my back pants pocket on the days I wear jeans and have a need for an umbrella. I always go to the dollar store and buy a couple cheap plastic ponchos. They are great for the misty days and are so small you can carry for an impromtu picnic lunch (use as a ground cover).

Have your paperwork and money sources in order.

Thanks eedwards and suze!
It's nice to create a list of these super-useful tips so that soloists can collect them.
I notice I didn't repeat anything above, but I'm glad I gave two tips anyway. If you guys want to offer more than one, please put them in separate postings so we can have a really clean list.
Thanks!
Lea

I am traveling for the first time by myself to Peurto Rico. I have traveled in the states (although Puerto Rico is the US....it definitely has a different flavor to it). I am nervous about traveling alone. I am simply tired of being afraid to step out and try new things. Do you guys have any tips for me? I leave Saturday to go on my trip.

Pack light!!!! no more than 2 pieces (1 medium suitcase/backpack/duffle + 1 tote/purse/daypack) that you can *easily* manage.

This is for your own comfort but I also believe it is a safety tip (particularly a solo female struggling with unwieldy & multiple suitcases could make a tempting target when compared to someone who looks alert, mobile, and in control). Constantly having to ask for help with your bags may put you in a situation better avoided or theft due to you not being able to keep an eye on it all.

Congratulations Chelle. This thread is about tips, so here's another. Any time you try something new there is a challenge. But just remember, you do not have to be by yourself. If you wish, you can find day trips almost anywhere, and that will get you with others. If you don't go that route, just ask questions, smile, talk, project confidence, bring props.
Some areas are easier than others. The Caribbean is not usually that easy for soloists--it's a couples-oriented environment. But Puerto Rico is big enough to offer many options--caves, beaches, history, architecture---and you can find tours which focus on many of these activities. So to I'd budget this in if you feel lonely.
As for the nights, again, you are choosing a couples-oriented place. So I'd eat at local cafes, or at fast food restaurants, or picnic in my room. And I'd make my evenings absolutely delightful. I'd pamper myself with massages, bubble baths, a trashy book you wouldn't otherwise read, movies on the TV you wouldn't otherwise watch. I'm not the type to hang around bars, but there are lots of local singles in PR. Your call. Just be really careful in the romance department. It's hard enough stateside!
Go to Travel Wire and read my interview. And if you go to Amazon right now you can get my book, Solo Traveler, by tomorrow. It will be a great companion, I think.
Once you're there, and you're busy (keep a book or journal with you all the time), you'll relax. And let us know how it goes.
All the best,
Lea

As much as I want to stay in your room at night and eat in, I always force myself to go out. As a result, I nearly always have an adventure of some sort.

Bring a journal. A book makes you unapproachable. A journal doesn't somehow. Write about your experiences and observations for the day. If you can't think of anything else, write about your progress as a single traveler.

When you really feel the need to be part of a group, join a city walk (ie London Walks) or take a day excursion.

OK, that was three tips. But those are the things that make me feel best about my solo travel adventures.

Hi Grasshopper,
Three good tips are better than one.
I like to bring a language phrasebook when I eat out solo. It's small, and while I sit and wait for the food, I'm learning some of the language. Win, win.
Lea

As a solo female traveler, I have occasionally had to deal with unwanted attention from local males on my travels. The best tip I ever figured out is when this happens, seek out the company of an older couple. They are thrilled to help you, and you don't feel like you are "intruding" into a younger couple's romantic dinner. These older couples also are often well-traveled and have lots of great suggestions for future trips. An older solo woman is also a great option. I remember one particularly lovely lady in the laundry room of a cruise ship who shared a glass of wine with me, waiting out a persistent cabin steward. When he finally left, I thanked her for staying with me, and she said she had had no intention of leaving me alone until the guy had gone - she could just tell he was pursuing me. It was a great afternoon.

Hi Tigerhawk,
Even if you are so beautiful you have to wear a mask and a body suit to get ugly, you can do it. To avoid attention, dress down, tuck your hair under a cap, wear no makeup. I know someone who used eyeliner to create a cold sore on her lip! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!
Lea

Wow! These are drastic measures.
Lea, you're not serious, are you? Don't you like to dress up as a diva?

Personally, I would get depressed if I had to look bad, so I prefer to just deal with the attention (and ask for help if necessary, as Tigerlily did) as I would at home. Most guys will take no for an answer. Besides, if you dress poorly, you'll probably receive worse service and treatment by everyone. Of course, it's probably better not to be flashy, unless you want attention, but there's no reason you can't always look nice.

A useful accessory may be a wedding ring, whether you're married or not, although I know some guys don't care and others prefer married women.

Gems

Lea_Lane that is crazy advice. Do you really travel yourself like that? No makeup and a cap?

As has been mentioned on other threads elsewhere on Fodors when the topic of hot pursuit (hassassment) comes up, don't worry ladies all, you too will get older and then everyone will leave you alone. Trust me, it's true.

oops "harrassment"

Hi Suze,
Yes, I've traveled like that! In some situations, I have not worn makeup and kept my hair wrapped up and have not been bothered less than I would have been. When I'm on my own I do exactly what I want--lots of makeup, or none. Depends.
And yes, as I've gotten older, age has made it a lot easier in that department. But I still sometimes get hassled, expecially in Med countries (if you're a female mammal, you'll get attention in certain southern Italian piazzas). Just giving tips that have worked...take 'em or leave 'em in good spirits.
Lea

learn people' s names. especially the locals of wherever you are, walk in, call them by name and you will be treated like an old friend

I'm also a single female traveller. I have done about 4 countries on my own, and a few with family and friends.

I remember being told to dress "SFU" - Suitable for Upgrade - whenever I fly. It's only worked once, but it was really great to get that luxury. Free upgrade on the flight, mostly because I looked like I fitted in!

Also what ever you do have luggage with wheels. I once made this mistake and it cost me a lot of sight seeing 'cos I was so tired and sore. (It was a long walk from the tube to my hostel)

Personally I'd choose to go solo every time as I love the ability to choose my own schedule and never having to wait for anyone else!

I go out of my way not to invite attention when I travel alone. I’d like to get respect but not attention. Seems there is some discussion on what people wear. I always wear clean, somewhat new, ironed casual travel clothes. But I refrain from wearing make up or prettifying myself in any way. I make sure that I am not showing much skin and do not wear tight clothes. I do not necessarily choose travel clothes that are flattering but just practical and comfortable. If the occasion calls for being better dressed, I follow that. I think you want to also know your destination country. In some countries even showing your bare arms can be considered provocative. I cover mine up as soon as the plane lands. I do not wear jewelry except an inexpensive watch or some inexpensive local jewelry. I make sure I never have eye contact with anyone. My experience has been that regardless of what you do someone still notices you but you can drop the rate quite a lot by not inviting attention. I think if you do not look particularly attractive and also do not look like having a lot on you, the criminals will hopefully look for a better prey and will not waste their time with you.

I also think it is important to stay alert and never compromise safety for any type of sightseeing activity. It is really not worth it. If I don’t feel safe, I find a safe way to do the activity or just simply write it off.

Great tips. The eye contact thing is really true. On the other hand, when you WANT to meet people, eye contact and a smile work wonders.
Yes, safety trumps everything else. Trust your instincts. If people want to go hang gliding and you don't, but you don't want to offend them, you still shouldn't do it. "No way" is a phrase I sometimes use. (Just not all the time!)
Lea

I LOVE travelling solo. Anything else is a compromise. Solo travellers aren't involved with each other, so they learn more about other people and places.

My motto (and advice) is : Be prepared (to be safe and self-sufficient)...then stop worrying and enjoy.

To avoid unwanted contact: sunglasses are invaluable. People don't know if you are looking at them or not, so it's an easy way to avoid eye contact.

To avoid unwanted attention, I also invoke the "boyfriend"/fiance/ husband who will soon be joining me (in minutes...or later in the trip, depending on circumstances).

Hi Tashak,
Not only do I invoke the imaginary husband about to come over, I name him "Big Bubba," or some tough name.
Lea

Since I'm being such a pest to Lea, I can't help but add to this thread too...

The imaginary husband only works when you are moving fairly quickly from place to place. If you are in one location for a period of time, believe me, people know you are traveling on your own.

After maybe two weeks at a town in Mexico, the guy on the street who I told in my bad spanish several times that my husband was at the hotel, finally said to me in perfect English one afternoon "Funny I have never seen him."

I have never used the fake wedding ring, and after the single experience above find I am more comfortable either telling the truth or giving no explanation to my situation.

Hi Suze,
You could have told the man that your husband stays in his room, polishing his gun!
:>)

I always dress down when I travel, so as not to draw attention to myself.
I wear no jewelry.

I pack light -- pants and shirts can be reworn.

I leave a copy of my itinerary with friends or family in case of an emergency.

Wow-- I'm a little alarmed by the horror with which you guys responded to the "no make-up, hair up" plan, since that's how I dress most of the time, traveling or not...

Anyway, my tip would be RELAX. The most important thing for me in learning to love solo travel has been letting go of my natural need for order and schedule. My last trip (a month in Portugal) was filled with unplanned encounters, meals, and people I'd never have met if I hadn't learned to let go of my everyday neuroses.

Also, I echo the "travel light" tip-- I take only a backpack and a small carry-on no matter where I'm going and how long the trip is. I may get sick of my clothes, but I never have to check anything, and managing trains and buses is a dream.

sakana, truly it wasn't horror, but the places i travel (granted not extreme or adventure destinations) i dress the same as i do at home (which includes a small amount of make up, nice hair, decent clothes).

I am a single lady and love traveling solo. recently I travelled in Hawaii, and rocked. I feel the most important thing for me is to show off that I really belong there - I mean I was not pushed into being there because of fate or whatever. I should act like I know what I am doing and not feel sorry for being solo, if I happen to strike on conservation. That approach worked in Hawaii (of course it came to naturally there). Most of the people only said "oh, how nice you are on your own. you need not wait for anyone". The only one time somebody asked about my "husband" I replied confidently that I don't have one. Of course, I had already noticed that he was with his wife and possibly could do no harm (I had requested him to take a picture of me). He was simply perplexed that a lady could travel alone. He replied "oh, you are lucky!!!". I asked "so do you mean to say your wife is unlucky?" :-). He was taken aback and said "oh , you are funny" and composed himself. Sometimes being confident wards off people. but always, beware of surroundings and trust your instincts, as the author says.

No "horror" here either.

No make-up and a baseball cap is fine, if that's what you want (and I sometimes do too), but I don't see any reason - unless you're seriously scared - to "get ugly" and make fake cold sores. I think everyone - not just Romeos - would be put off by that approach. Anyway, I like to look nice for myself as well as others and, while I adjust my style to my environment, I don't worry much about attracting male attention. Most of it's benign. At least, while I have invoked a real/fictional male s.o. as an excuse (an easy out for everyone involved), I haven't used my kickboxing skills yet.

Gems

Hi,
My big concern when travelling alone is safety (it's ingrained in me, having grown up in Brooklyn). I always ensure that my accommodations are booked in a relatively "safe" part of the city, that lights are not turned off at night (I checked out of one hostel that turned off the lights in the hallway by 10:00pm), and I try to walk with "attitude" :) I try to give off that I'm confident, strong, and very aware of my surroundings. I'm trying to think of other tips...

It occurred to me through all of this, that we may actually be safer or less of a target anyway, since we are solo. I am betting that being on our own like this makes us appear to be less "tourists" and more "locals". What do you all think?

grasshopper, I absolutely agree!!!

i think one key is that we are in fact alone so until we speak could be from anywhere. especially if you happen to have a reasonable sense of fashion in your every day dress, that helps too. throw in that i'm often toting a sack from the bakery, corner store, or supermarket furthers "the disguise". i know it works for me because OFTEN locals speak to me in French, usually other women, when we're standing side by side at a stop light waiting to cross, or in the line at the cashier of said grocery store, for example.

i think two people draw attention to themselves, without realizing it, just because they are speaking English to each other. chatting away, sometime kind of loudly, in public.

Would that apply to evenings also? I think you tend to see more couples out and about in the evenings, while ladies are often on their own during the day.
But then, traveling alone must leave more possibilities for a single traveler to meet others too, no? I know my friends who travel solo and my son and daughter, often meet people along the way, sometimes eating together or sharing cars etc.
*I know I am not a "soloist" now but I was , once upon a time and it never stopped me from going places!*

I have travelled solo for several years to various countries and I love it!! I have never dressed down or had a picnic in my hotel room but I have been quite rude to unwanted attention. I find walking past admiring males on the street without speaking, continually saying 'no thank you', gets the message. As Lea has already said, take a book with you to a restaurant.
What I like most about travelling solo is being able to do what I want when I want.
If you have the confidence to go abroad on your own, to discover new and exciting adventures, go for it.
When I come home from my adventures my friends all call me up to find out what I did and many are envious that they don't have the confidence to do as I do.
I have always found company from many different people on my travels but be careful, on one occasion I was talking to a family with 2 children and the lady's husband asked me if I would accompany his wife on my various adventures - I ended up baby sitting her,however that is rare. Sorry about this long reply in what should have been a one line answer - just have the confidence to do it, pick your destination carefully and you will love it!!

Pack light.

Here's the travel trifecta: Travel Happy, Travel Heavy, Travel Cheap.

You can do any two but not all three.

Grasshopper, I have experienced being mistaken for a local in several countries but not all. I’d never attributed that to traveling on my own. Interesting point though. I always thought it has to do more with if you physically look like a local, what you are carrying(a purse or a camera case), and how you are dressed.

Until I speak, I am frequently addressed in the local language. And even after speaking many people ask if I'm British. I guess all English sounds the same to someone in Croatia or Slovenia?

Am newly retired male, wife still working, and very interested in solo travel, expecially in England. Would appreciate any tips. Especially reasons I can give my wife for wanting to do this crazy thing.

Lea, read your book, excellent!

However, most of what I saw in your excellent book, and in the postings here, deals with women of less than my "certain age." How about some hints for old fart guys like me not interested in or bothered by unwanted attention from other genders?

JBN, that's pretty funny. I guess, as a woman, I've never thought much about solo travel being a challenge for a man. The men I know all do quite a lot of business travel and that really takes the fear out of the details and specifics.

But how to fend off unwanted attention? I guess my advice would be the same as it would for a woman; First time, a nice thanks, I'm flattered but not available/interested. Second time, a stern "no". From there on, refuse to acknowledge the person.

As for coming up with justification to travel while your wife stays home and works, you're on your own! Only you are inside your marraige. Good luck.

jbn, ask your wife maybe she'd enjoy some time alone at home. seriously, have you talked to her about this yet? tried out the idea of you taking a trip on your own? that's be the place to start, IMO.