Ideas for Finding Travel Companions or Travelling Solo
 

I've pulled these posts from a thread on another Fodors forum as these ideas are really good. I've pulled out the "personal" info relating to the OP in an effort to keep this on topic (please let's not discuss the events of the other thread here :) ).

The original question was basically asking for advice on how to find "travel-oriented" folks. Concerns were brought up about safety as a solo traveller.

I have gone through this several times and feel confident that I have pulled any off-topic/personal info out, but if I have missed anything, I apologize - it was not intentional.

Hopefully, we can continue this discussion.



Author: Nora_S
Date: 09/24/2006, 12:11 pm
here are a couple of suggestions.

One would be to look at the Rick Steve's travel board (www.ricksteves.com) The "Grafitti Wall: (discussion area) has a category for seeking travel partners. They don't match you at all---it's all up to you to look at the responses and see if anyone there seems like a good traveling companion.

Parents without Partners is a group open to divorced people; I don't think it's limited to "parents". In my area (west coast) they sponsor lots of activites where one might meet compatible traveling partners.

You could try Match.com, and indicate that you are looking for a traveling companion, not a life partner. If nothing else, it might enlarge your dating circle to include men whose first question isn't "who will pay"? (Maybe they were just making sure that you weren't expecting that they would pay for your expenses?)

You could join a tour group, and hope to meet some people there. A single friend of mine did this; she went on two Rick Steves tours and met a few people with whom she has been able to travel, independently of the tour.

If you are active, you could look at tours offered by companies like REI and Backroads. They offer nice cycling and other trips in the U.S. as well as abroad.

Good luck to you.

Author: wyatt58 ([email protected])
Date: 09/24/2006, 12:23 pm
Don't really know alot about it - But www.myspace.com might be a place to look for people that love to travel, Although yes it is used more by the younger generation but it is growing fast and you may find some travels like you there

Author: DebitNM ([email protected])
Date: 09/24/2006, 12:30 pm
What about singles groups that have similar interests as you?

Perhaps through a local community college, that often sponsors trips or you local rec center?

And even though these places have organized group trips, if you go to some meetings you might just find someone like yourself looking for a companion but couldn't find one and went there instead.

Hope this helps...
Debi

Author: DebitNM ([email protected])
Date: 09/24/2006, 12:36 pm
I just this minute saw that right here on Fodors is a SOLO TRAVEL forum!! Why don't you look around there and post your question there too??

Debi

Author: suze
Date: 09/24/2006, 12:40 pm
Are you wanting to take international trips, or only within the U.S.?

One idea, I would suggest you consider paying the single supplement and joining a tour group for some place you are interested in. That's a great way to meet people and get started.

Also somehow to branch out and meet new people... foreign language classes at the community college, travel seminars, book readings, etc.

Since you say your friends aren't available, but I have several single female friends in your age range and they travel regularly, not that they are rich, but it is a priority for them. So people like you describe are out there, is my point.

Author: JBHapgood
Date: 09/24/2006, 12:46 pm
The most practical solution (but not necessarily the easiest or most enjoyable one) is to become comfortable traveling alone. That way you can go where you want, when you want, on the budget you want instead of staying home until you find the right travel companion (who may never arrive). Traveling alone may not always be the best way to travel, but it more than likely beats staying home alone!

Tours and cruises really discriminate against the solo traveler. They give you Hobson's choice of sharing accommodations with a stranger (with the risk of that ruining your trip) or paying an outrageous single-occupancy penalty. You can get around this problem by avoiding tours and cruises entirely and making your own independent arrangements.

Here is where it would be worthwhile to pay a travel agent to either set it all up for you or to find one of the rare cruises or tours that have reasonable rates for singles (they do exist, but they're very few and far between). Unfortunately, most travel agents only have experience with "normal" couples and families, so it will probably take some effort to find one who has interest and experience with solo travel.

Closer to home, you can mitigate your fear of being stranded in a strange place by maintaining your car regularly and buying an inexpensive cellphone. You can "desensitize" yourself by taking short trips to familiar places and staying in hotels there. If you're afraid of crime, look in the AAA book for hotels that don't have "exterior corridors" and ask for a room that isn't on the ground floor.

And don't assume that the "Widows and Widowers" or "Single Parents" group won't welcome you with open arms. Their losses and problems are very similar to yours, and you might just find them very receptive. Opportunities for meeting people in large cities (whether or not for travel) are often scarce, so if there's a group that isn't an exact match it might be close enough.

I travel solo by default rather than by choice. But I do it because it lets me travel rather than staying home for lack of a companion. That's often the best way, even as you search for someone.

Author: suze
Date: 09/24/2006, 12:52 pm
Well said JBH! I hadn't thought to encourage <people> to travel solo.

I do it often and am extremely comfortable going on my own. Like any new skill, it takes time to learn how & to be comfortable. But is oh so worth it for me. You have complete freedom over where you go, when you go, what you see and do. I don't feel the need for a 'companion'.

Author: cmcfong
Date: 09/24/2006, 01:05 pm
I travel solo often because my DH doesn't enjoy travel as much as I do, some of my travel is business related plus all of the reasons <people> listed make it hard to find companions for travel. But, if you really want companions try joining groups which have an activity focus, kayaking, hiking, scuba, photography, or whatever fits your personal interests. You may make some friends who are interested in travel to pursue the interest. For me it was scuba diving. I got involved in it in the early 1980's and have met lots of interesting people through it.

Author: cabovacation
Date: 09/24/2006, 01:11 pm
I often travel solo myself...sometimes by choice....often by default. I agree with the positive reinforcement for traveling alone. However, I must say that there are times when it would be easier and more fun to have SOMEONE to talk to and to help figure out directions, not to mention share embarassements, to laugh with, to help translate, etc etc etc.

So I do hope we can keep this thread going and come up with more ideas for solo travelers finding travel partners when they want them.

I know several couples who have gone on tours and met people they love to meet and travel with. They often meet up in a foreign city for a week or two together.

Much luck to all!

Author: SusieQQ ([email protected])
Date: 09/24/2006, 01:15 pm
I travel alone for the same reasons you mentioned...either my friends aren't interested in travel or that can't afford it. I find that being solo is much better than not going at all. One suggestion is to take a class or volunteer. I have done many projects with earthwatch and have taken two London theater classes. There are all sorts of classes out there all over the world.

Author: suze
Date: 09/24/2006, 01:20 pm
I really do think traveling is probably the most direct way to find and meet other people who like to travel!

I think the more loosely organized tours or educationally focused ones (Rick Steves, Elderhostel, Untours, etc.) would be excellent places to start. I know there are also organizations that specialize for single women for outdoor activities or group travel.

Author: suze
Date: 09/24/2006, 01:21 pm
I just tried a quick "Google" search using the words "single women travel" and a load of possibilities popped up.

Author: DebitNM ([email protected])
Date: 09/24/2006, 02:32 pm
How about going to bookstores when they have travel discussions?
Debi

Author: lcuy
Date: 09/24/2006, 03:31 pm
you might try this web site: http://www.sololady.com/default.aspx

Author: toedtoes
Date: 09/24/2006, 03:56 pm
I also agree with the solo travelling. It is much better than not going at all.

If you're concerned about your car breaking down, I suggest you take an auto repair class at your local college. Then if it breaks down, you'll be capable of changing the tire yourself (plus a lot of other things). It will also be a way of meeting other people, who may have an interest in travel also.

For some ease of mind during a solo trip, take a self defense class. Again, you'll learn some great things and will have a chance to meet some new people.

Also, check your local library and/or bookstore for travel related talks. You'll definitely meet folks who like to travel - or who would like to but haven't. It's possible to meet someone who loves the idea of travelling but doesn't want to travel alone, so they attend the talks.

As you've read, there are some very knowledgable solo travellers here - pick their brains. There are some really good threads on the Solo Traveller forum with suggestions, etc.

Author: annesherrod
Date: 09/24/2006, 04:42 pm
I do not have time to read the other responses so maybe this has been suggested ----

Your local University may have organizes trips - I know several in my area do. ie - Architectural tours of Rome, Greece.....
The Alumni groups also sponsor several domestic trips( shows in NY, Fly fishing in Montana,.....) Do you belong to an Alumni group?

My church also has trips to various places.

But I always see trips to wonderful places through the local University. That would be my first suggestion..

Good Luck!!!!

Author: LLindaC
Date: 09/24/2006, 05:34 pm
Before I met my wonderful current husband, I paid the way for my best gal friend to cruise with me. I think it was far better than solo. Do you have any access to wine/cuisine clubs? They often have travel groups. Although I hate organized tours, if I were single, I would go on selected trips for the experience and the chance to meet others. I've also met more people staying at B&Bs and private inns. Often, breakfasts turn into long travel discussions. I've only been to a couple Fodors GTGs, but maybe you could do that and find others to travel with. People here are quite creative. Now, for the last suggestion and don't FLAME me anyone. I have played music for several Red Hat Society groups. There are always good and bad, but some of those gals are just so much fun. Their motto is to LIVE and that may be a very good outlet for you to find friends and travelers. Best of luck!!

Author: eurotraveller
Date: 09/24/2006, 05:53 pm
I didn't read all of the responses but you could try www.broads-abroad.com.

Good luck!

Author: L84SKY
Date: 09/24/2006, 06:37 pm
If you do daytrips around you're area you're going to meet people who might like to travel further a field. It would probably be better to start out with someone who already loves to travel and become friends then to get a non traveling friend to travel. Less risky.
Start searching the websites for museums that you're interested in, gardening clubs etc and see what type of trips they've planned. My local art museum sends me brochures on travel all the time. I reasonably certain that if I were to take such a trip I'd meet people I'd have a lot in common with.

Good luck and know that your perfect traveling companion is already out their with her comfortable shoes already broken in.

Author: escargot
Date: 09/24/2006, 06:47 pm
I don't know if you would consider a cruise, but there was an article in the Boston Globe today about all the cruise ships 'theme' vacations - there was one listed for Frank Sinatra fans, and for many other topics of interest / music, dancing, etc -
you could look into cruises specifically for singles - and even perhaps in specific age groups.

Another idea is to look in the backs of magazines that specialize in another interest you have - travel,
cooking, art, whatever your interest is - many times in the back they have trips planned specifically geared to those activities and some for singles.

Our local Art Center has many trips for those interested in photography, painting, etc with or without experience and the registration sheet is 90% single,divorced or widowed woman around your age - maybe there is such an Art Center or gallery in NYC that does the same.

<<At 55>> you can join Elder Hostel and see the wonderful trips they have - you could keep tabs on that site <<early>> and make that your 55th birthday present to yourself !



Author: Underhill
Date: 09/24/2006, 07:23 pm
Go on a Grand Circle European river cruise; the travel directors on board are very good at looking out for singles, and fellow passengers are friendly. There's even a roommate-matching service if you don't want to pay the extra 25% for a single cabin.

Author: girlonthego
Date: 09/24/2006, 10:18 pm
Just a thought... There are a lot of single travelers here on Fodors... All of you should get together and pick who seems the most like you for travel partners. !!Most of the people on this board seem very nice. They get together for group get togethers all the time. Why not have a singles get together for future travel purposes????

Author: ggreen
Date: 09/24/2006, 11:58 pm
Just wanted to mention two things that came to mind:

I bookmarked this site a while back:
www.nokiddingnyc.com. No Kidding calls themselves "a non-profit social group for adults who, for whatever reason, aren't parents". They also state "It's for friendly adults who want to socialize with other adults who won't alienate them by talking about kids all the time." The site I have is for their NYC chapter, but they have other locations as well; might be a good resource for meeting people with a wider range of interests...

Also, you mention that you are in NYC a fair amount. Any chance you can make it to the NJ/NY/CT GTG in October? The post is "New Jersey/ New York/ Connecticut GTG - October 21, 2006"
http://www.fodors.com/forums/threads...p;tid=34866897
Then you could meet some of the posters here, as others have suggested.

Good luck!!

Author: FainaAgain
Date: 09/25/2006, 12:10 am
Welcome to the club I gave up the tours and looking for companions, and tried it on my own for the first time. Went to Chicago (from San Francisco). Loved it! And now I know I can do it alone. Had a get-together with 4 Fodorites, this was great.

Author: trinity84
Date: 09/25/2006, 06:38 am
My sister, whose husband does not like to travel, recently went to Europe through a travel agency with a group of 27 women. She is now going on another cruise to Prague this coming spring. Maybe one of your local travel agencies can provide the similar service?

Author: starrsville
Date: 09/25/2006, 08:41 am
Just start googling. Just about special interest group (museums, classes, pottery, biking, kayaking, etc.) has options for single travelers.

If you are old enough, definitely check out Elderhostel.

And, be ready to go on your own.

Have fun. The right/perfect/wonderful travel companion will drop in your lap when you are ready. Really. Until then, hit the road!

Author: lisettemac
Date: 09/25/2006, 09:02 am
I think one of the best vacations I ever took when I didn't have a traveling companion was a Backroads trip. They have trips just for "solo" travelers (not necessarily singles looking to hook up, but people of all ages traveling alone). They have biking and hiking trips for all ability levels. Check it out. It was a great trip!

Author: mclaurie
Date: 09/25/2006, 09:07 am
Apart from becoming more comfortable traveling alone, I think looking for group trips on a subject/location that might interest is the best idea. Do you know the Met museum does trips?

http://www.metmuseum.org/events/ev_travel.asp

If you're into gardens, there are some wonderful trips to see gardens in England and elsewhere. Here's just one company
http://www.copper-beech.com/

Also, apparently Tauck.com is one of the best upper end tour cos.


Author: GoTravel
Date: 09/25/2006, 09:35 am
I live in a large retirement area and it seems that many of the local churches sponsor singles trips and have rollicking senior singles groups.

Did you try a church? Just pick one that has an active older singles group.

You would be surprised at these groups.

Also, a company called Christian Tours gets quite a few singles.

I went on a tour with them when I was in my twenties with my girlfriend's entire family (four generations) and it was not religious based at all.

http://www.burkechristiantours.com/

Author: toedtoes
Date: 09/25/2006, 01:23 pm
I wouldn't worry too much about the first floor of a hotel unless the room has an outside door. Also, there are travel door lock items that you can get that will make the room more secure. Even a rubber door stop under the door will provide additional security.

You might try offering a "reduced cost" trip to a friend who wants to travel but doesn't have the money. If you're already paying for the hotel room(s) and rental car, then offer to let a friend join you if they pay their airfare, food and activities. You're not out any more than you would be if you went alone, and they don't feel quite as guilty about what you're paying for.

Author: FainaAgain
Date: 09/25/2006, 02:26 pm
to travel alone is only scary the first time! I've decided to go to the Netherlands in April to see the tulips in bloom.

Author: outwest713
Date: 09/25/2006, 02:33 pm
I've had great experiences with several different group tour organizers. My partner doesn't like to travel as much as I do so I've gone solo every time. While they offer a single supplement if you don't want to share lodging, the cost seemed reasonable. I've actually only opted for that once as I've found sharing a room has been very comfortable and provided an additional opporunity to get to know my fellow travelers one-on-one. I've consistnely met great folks, several of whom I've travelled with more than once and we have kept in touch between trips. In all cases, I selected women-only groups as I prefer the dynamic. (IMO, women tend to be more adventurous and spontaneous in same-gender settings). Groups have been roughtly 12-20 in size so it's very easy to get well acquainted with everyone in the course of a week. I recommend you check out Adventurewomen.com or Adventures In Good Company (http://tinyurl.com/jflam). They both have a variety of trips all over the country and internat'l. Some are more "adventure" or "active". Others are more "cultural". I've also enjoyed sevaral trips through the Outings program with Sierra Club. Again, I selected women-only, but Sierra Club has many trips, most of which are mixed groups. Happy to share more specifics about trips I've taken if you're interested.

Author: jodaddy
Date: 09/25/2006, 02:43 pm
here is a site for women only. I have never used it, but maybe you can find out more when you look into it.
www.journeywoman.com
Good Luck! Happy travels

Author: suze
Date: 09/25/2006, 03:36 pm
Volunteering at a museum is an EXcellent idea.



Author: amwosu
Date: 09/26/2006, 02:44 pm
www.slowtrav.com is another website that has a message board that is helpful.

Author: Travelkitty
Date: 09/26/2006, 05:51 pm
Combination of suggestions. I second the recommendation for trying more solo travel. While there are some trips (especially overseas) where I might not enjoy that, there are others where I think it is preferable and gives me a chance to explore whatever I like (or relax when I want). I also find when I travel alone I tend to meet more people since I go out of my way to talk to others.

Another suggestion is to try some of the sites that people recommended looking for a companion. Another site is leisure linkup which is aimed at finding travel companions. http://72.236.59.198/ I think it is free now, although it appears they may start charging for the service. I've never used it so I can't say how effective it is.

One other suggestion is a women's oriented travel group. There are some tours that have smaller groups and are oriented to women only. I've taken a few and although some people come with companions, lots of women travel alone. There is typically a supplement charge for a solo room, but they will match you up with a companion if you want one. I've used Women Travelling Together, but there are lots of other similar groups. I've typically found women oriented tour groups to be more comfortable for a solo female traveller.


Author: LoveItaly
Date: 09/26/2006, 08:13 pm
I will add a few. I wouldn't know how to change a tire if you put a gun to my head and most of my friends wouldn't know how to either. Having a cellphone and your AAA membership is a way to not have to worry about a flat tire etc. And staying off of lonely roads when it is dark is a good idea also.

May I suggest that you go to the website: www.insuremytrip.com. It will give you lots of insurance company policies to review and you can decide which company offers you the coverage you would need for travelling outside of the US. I have never purchased a policy but I understand one needs to buy any of the policies within a short period of time after purchasing their airline ticket etc. so that exsisting medical problems would be covered. When you have time do some research on said website and I think you will find you would be able to purchase needed coverage for not to much money.

Have your thought about joing some volunteer organizations that would offer something you are interested in be it a musueum, an art group, hospital volunteer group, political group, library volunteer group, your Chamber of Commerce, a theater group etc. I don't know about NY but many communities in CA now have volunteers that work with their local PD in all kinds of jobs. They are carefully checked so you would be sure that you are getting acquainted with people that have a good law abiding backgroup.

Also, have you thought about taking some classes. If there is a particular country you have always dreamed about visiting you could check and see what community colleges offer classes in the language of that country. You no doubt would meet people that at least have an interest in the country you are interested in and are interested in travelling.

Anyway, just some more food for thought. Best wishes to you.


Author: Catbert
Date: 09/26/2006, 08:25 pm
Check out www.virtualtourist.com. There are members from all over the world. As you get to know who some of them are, you'll find they love to connect with travelers to their town for coffee, a glass of wine, even tour you around their town.

Author: Underhill
Date: 09/27/2006, 07:45 pm
I'm also a cautious traveler, and that paid off when I had to cancel a trip after I broke my shoulder. Fortunately I'd bought travel insurance, and the trip costs were covered for me and my husband.

Do you belong to an HMO? If so, ask about overseas coverage. As far as I can tell, Kaiser covers me in Europe--but I also have travel insurance, just in case.


Author: mpf
Date: 09/27/2006, 08:15 pm
When I started traveling solo, I did a couple of short trips. From there I graduated to longer trips, and became to enjoy my own company.

Previously, I traveled with a "friend" that packed and repacked her suitcase 3 times each night, etc., and I vowed never again.

I don't know want to be bothered with anyone tagging along. I don't like being the leader and then being criticized about decisions; I enjoy coming into my own hotel room and kicking my shoes off, flopping on the bed, and doing exactly what pleases me. I can enjoy my own jokes.

I have my cell phone, I take a book to read while eating...yes, I talk to others. With a tour, I have met some wonderful people, and we all had the same feelings. So, no one stepped on my feet, and I didn't step on theirs.
(No whining) I made some great friends, and I am in contact with one from a trip I took in 2000.

Author: sunbum1944
Date: 09/29/2006, 03:58 pm
Heres an interesting sounding link
The Gutsy Women Travel -


http://www.gutsywomentravel.com/

toedtoes -- Nice job!! I am sure that this helpful info will not go to waster. Thanks for taking the time to did this.
Debi

I agree - thanks toedtoes!

Gutsy Women that was just mentioned has a slim book called "Gutsy Women's Guide to Travelling Solo". It's a great resource even if you're not travelling solo! It's published by Traveller's Tales, the sister company to O'Reilly, famous for its terrific technical (computer) books. :)

You're both quite welcome!

The book sounds interesting. I may have to do a search on solo travel books and see what turns up - I bet there are other "gems" out there.

Two other ideas come to mind. Try Connecting Solo Travel Network (www.cstn.org) which provides a way for travelers to link up. Also, I just discovered a website www.forwomentravelingsolo.com and there is a forum for women to connect. If all else fails. Go alone!

And, of course, men don't need any help or forums. We either have no trouble finding someone to travel with (invariably female, youthful, and media-ideal slender) or travel alone without the slightest hesitation. Yes indeed.

JB - actually it's a conspiracy. The world doesn't want men travelling solo - you're too scary that way - so we're sending out these subliminal messages trying to get you to stay home. :)

You do bring up an important issue though. We've discussed all these ideas for women to find travelling companions and/or travel alone, how about some tricks for the men. I have to admit it's got to be a lot harder for a man to find an intelligent, adult person to travel with (that leaves out the "pay my way" 18 year old bimbos).

I have no idea how to meet a travel companion. My friends invariably have scheduling problems or lack vacation time. Anyone at work who might be suitable or interested is married with a family, and needs to conserve precious vacation time for family trips and obligations. I've had a look at some "travel companion exchange" Web sites and noticed that the ads that are specific about travel plans are almost always from women seeking female travel companions. Men's ads often are indistinguishable from dating personal ads seeking women, and emphasize physical characteristics more than travel plans.

That's why I end up traveling alone (and perhaps some day I'll be able to add "... and loving it," but unfortunately that's not yet true).

There's definitely a problem there for men that women don't have. A solo man has a huge stigma that is hard to be ignored. No matter how much a woman wants to say "sure I'll go with you", there's that voice saying "he's a psycho killer, that's why he's alone."

And, there's the additional issue of a personal reading "solo man looking for male travel companion"...

It's really a no win situation.

Hi JBHapgood, the suggestions I made that toedtoes incorporated here could be used by men also..the various volunteer ideas, language classes etc.
Possibly that would be a way for you to meet someone who would be interested in the type of travelling you do.

However I do think that it probably is harder for a male to find a travel companion, I never thought about that before.

JB, my advice to you would be the same as it is for women. Check out www.virtualtourist.com. There are people all over the world who are happy to meet you for a meal, a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, a tour of their city....

toed (tozie?), the stigma is even worse when actually traveling. I'm willing to believe that a solo woman can easily meet new friends because she's readily approachable and assumed to be friendly and looking for conversation when approaching someone. But a solo man is an aberration and an unknown threat, and thus best avoided.

My solo trips are exclusively in the United States. I think I can count on my fingers the number of solo travelers of either sex I've met in 20+ years (and most of them weren't American). Couples and families neither approach me nor are receptive when I approach (except when they see me photographing something that clearly doesn't include a family member and demand an explanation, since photography is now inextricably associated with terrorism in the American mind). I have come to accept this reality as the price of traveling solo (i.e., the price of going somewhere I want to visit). That's why shake my head with disbelief when I read effusive articles by (and for?) women about how wonderful solo travel is because you can meet so many people and make so many friends you'd never meet when saddled with a travel companion.

I'm not trying to disparage the many people who genuinely love solo travel. And I'm glad that I'm physically and mentally able to travel solo, since the alternative would be staying home. Although I've had many perfectly adequate solo trips, my best travel experiences have been with friends.

For me at least, solo isn't the best way to go; but it's still better than staying home for lack of a travel companion. That's why I always respond to questions about finding a travel companion with a recommendation to become comfortable enough with solo travel so you can do it when you want to travel (even if it's not what you prefer). That doesn't preclude making whatever effort is required to find a travel companion, but it does allow you to travel while you're working at it.

A solo man in a strange town with a camera in his hands... isn't it a sad world when that causes so much fear. :(

You may look into a photography group. They tend to have more men than women and they're usually more well-travelled than other groups. Even an online group can provide some possibilities - I've done a couple outings with fellow photographers that way.

I also like the idea of meeting up with folks rather than actually travelling with them. That's especially good for man-woman travelling. The woman feels a bit safer knowing that she's not expected to "be with" him, but as they feel more comfortable being around one another, they can expand their together time. Start out with dinner the first night, then maybe take in a museum the next day...

P.S. I usually get Toed or Toes, but Tozie is rather nice. :)

LoveItaly, volunteering, and classes are wonderful ways to make a difference, learn something, or give meaning to your life. But if you go into them with a specific personal agenda, especially if it's meeting a spouse or a travel companion, you're sure to be disappointed and frustrated.

You'll have a better chance of realizing social, travel, or romantic benefits from activities if you choose something you enjoy or value in itself, and make a long-term commitment to regular and consistent participation. Consistency over the long term was what made it so easy to make friends at school (or possibly work), where the social network was nearly automatic. Once you're in the Real World, unless you're fortunate enough to find compatible friends at work, you have to build a social network for yourself from the ground up, continually renewing the foundation and building and rebuilding, one brick at a time, in a life-long construction project.

You may also have better luck with activities if you're a senior citizen. In my experience, the only people I ever see in adult classes, activity clubs, and volunteering are elderly retirees. That's apparently because younger people are too busy working long hours, raising families, and servicing their debts to have the time or inclination to participate actively in anything. That may not be the case everywhere, but it definitely is where I live.

That's again why I always suggest that the most practical course of action for someone who lacks a travel companion is to learn to tolerate (if not enjoy) solo travel. And also volunteer, take classes, join clubs, partipate in causes meaningful to you-- for their own value. If you happen find a travel companion (or spouse) that way, it will be a very nice bonus (and there's certainly a much greater chance of that happening than if you just sit home complaining). But you can't depend on that happening, nor should you stay home until it does happen. If you can travel solo, you can travel without depending on the caprices of others.

I believe that you're most likely to meet someone compatible (romantically or not) when you least expect it. Therefore, if you join a group or class for the specific purpose of meeting someone, you're probably not going to.

However, by joining classes and/or groups that interest you, you will meet people who know other people. It will provide you with a greater resource of compatible people than if you sit at home and wonder why you don't travel.

I will also add for those who have never travelled alone and don't think they can do it, start small. Go to a matinee movie by yourself. It's a great place to start because most people don't talk during the movie anyway (I repeat "most people"). After a few movies, you'll find that you're not as uncomfortable being alone as you used to be - and that when you walk around, people really aren't pointing at you saying "Oh look! That person has no friends!".

Then you can move on to dinner solo, seriously. That's how you get comfortable doing things alone.

Exactly. Start with the easy stuff and work up to the hard stuff. While I don't really enjoy it, I can eat at a nice restaurant alone now. That was the hardest obstacle for me to overcome (I always felt obvious sitting in the car eating let alone in the restaurant).

I don't know that I'll ever be truly comfortable eating dinner in a restaurant alone. But I'm comfortable enough so that I can do it when I need to. It's easier if you get there at 5pm or so when the place isn't crowded. On Friday or Saturday nights in tourist destinations I have a picnic in my room for dinner, and eat lunch in a restaurant. For some reason I find lunch much easier than dinner, so that's usually my main meal.