o2bnfrance~ What a beautiful story. Loved it! I can just picture you.

Oh, and Suze, researching the menu and knowing what you want in advance also allows you to order wine before your dinner. Regardless, I agree with you, Suze. What’s the big deal?

Now, let’s move on to another important wine question: Why is it not okay to drink wine from the bottle?

Forget about "rules" - be confident, polite, express appreciation for the food (if it's good) and just enjoy. Dine at the time that suits you, order what you want to eat and drink and don't worry about anyone watching or critiquing you. Taking a newspaper or book is good for me, otherwise I end up being the one watching the others! I usually write in my journal while I'm waiting for the meal and write details of the food before the wine kicks in.
I was alone in Paris for 3 weeks over Xmas/New Year and had some wonderful dining experiences. The waiters were almost uniformly friendly and helpful; I was given complimentary drinks and invited out for after dinner coffee with a group of fellow diners. I even ended up asked to join the staff Xmas party for a very exclusive boutique hotel, when I was the sole diner at the restaurant where it was held.
I enter with confidence and assume if people are looking at me, it's because I'm interesting.
If you don't like the experience, don't tip - but don't go back there!
Enjoy.




Enjoy!

I always drink "house" white wine. Before and during the meal. Doesn't matter what I'm eating. So there's nothing I need to match up or wait for -lol!

Thanks, o2bnfrance, glad you like what I wrote. I know if people watch someone it is either because they look really good or really bad, those in the middle are easy to ignore.

Hopefully, if people watch me, it is not because I have spinach on my teeth or toilet paper stuck to my shoe. At least that is what I tell myself and it makes for a better experience! I always figure it is better to be as exotic as one can in any social occasion, it makes things more interesting, but that is because it just works for me.

I just read this from afterelton.com

Tim Gunn:

"What we choose to wear sends a message about how we want the world to perceive us. And I think the only way to do that successfully and to navigate the world comfortably is to be confident about what you're wearing and to feel that you look good. And I'm hoping that it's through interaction, engagement with other people that they'll understand other dimensions of you.

But if you look good – whatever that means, and it can be different for everybody – then you'll have carriage and bearing and the confidence to own the world in a manner of speaking."

And from me: and dine alone!

What great suggestions and comments!
I will be traveling to Hawaii in April solo, for a few days before the rest of my family arrives.
I'm ok doing things on my own, but it was eating dinner by myself that had me nervous. Thanks to all of the suggestions I feel much more comfortable.
Suze thanks for starting.

I never read a book or newspaper when dining alone. I love to people watch, and I find that a lot of people, even the waiters, will strike up a conversation with a lone diner. Once I'm seated I just enjoy the meal and my surroundings. I also don't hesitate to ask for a particular location, e.g., outdoors, or a different table if I don't like the one I'm led to.

But I will say that the worst part for me is entering a restaurant alone, especially an unfamiliar place.
A few years ago in Monterosso I was refused seating at a popular seaside restaurant. It was a casual place but I purposely went early b/c I realize that most places don't like to waste a table on one person during the busy hour.
The hostess - maybe she was the owner, I don't know - at first pretended not to notice me, and when I made her notice me, she pretended to be apologetic and said she had no tables available, which was obviously a lie. She then told me to come back at 8 or later, when she would be able to seat me.
I told her, in my very good and sarcastic Italian, that she was much too kind but not to bother holding a table for me because I would not be back at 8, or 9, or any other time.

Fortunately, that was the only time something like that ever happened. I only wish I'd noted the name of the place b/c I would have posted it all over the travel boards.

Panecott, what a ratty way to treat a customer. Listen, with Google Maps’ help, I have identified nine locations in Italy with the name, Monterosso. But only Monterosso al Mare is located at a seaside. This is the Monterosso I will be boycotting in your honor.

Next time, try wearing dark glasses, and tell the hostess or maitre d' that you’d like a table where the paparazzi can’t find you. I betcha it works.

Hello all,

I am a newcomer. I found great tips and suggestions over here. Will be of great help for me as I travel a lot & I am foodie.

Panecott - I've had the same thing happen to me, but only one time. It was in Chisinau, Moldova, and they claimed an empty room was fully booked! And it's not a town overwhelmed with tourists, believe me! However, I think being a single often works to my advantage in Europe when I don't have a reservation - they'll find a corner for me when a bigger party might be turned away.

&gt;&gt;<i>I told her, in my very good and sarcastic Italian, that she was much too kind but not to bother holding a table for me because I would not be back at 8, or 9, or any other time.</i>

Panecott- ((Y))!

When I'm traveling alone, I'll often eat at the museum caf&eacute;, say, at the Louvre, or Mus&eacute;e D'Orsay.

I love museums, and I can spend hours there. Somehow I feel very comfortable dining alone, and the food is usually light and moderate. I feel safe and secure, and plenty of people are relaxing and writing postcards.

It is lovely to have a light salad, coffee and slice of torte in the afternoon. You don't need reservations, and they are usually not crowded at off hours.

Hi, Kailani. I've eaten at the restaurant near the entrance to the Denon Wing many times and loved it. Quiet, clean, good food, friendly staff, and reasonable. I always make it one of my lunch stops. Also, there are usually other single diners there. It gives us an opportunity to study the museum floor plan and plan our exhibit visits for the day.

o2bnfrance,
Yes, it was Monterosso al Mare, in 5Terre, which has become so popular I guess they feel they can be rude and still have enough business to keep going.
FTR, this place was way at the end of the new part of town, right on the water and had outdoor and indoor seating. Fortunately, other places were more hospitable.
Thanks for the boycott, and I like your other suggestions. I might just try them sometime. :-)

thursdaysd,
I don't know about you but I was mortified, and really amazed, when that happened to me. In so many years of travel, that was a first! But fortunately, I'm sure I didn't let it show and I let her know just what I thought of her &quot;hospitality&quot;.

boots08,
Thanks. :-)

panecott - yes, I was somewhat upset! Enough that I added a complaint about the restaurant to the feedback I wrote to Lonely Planet on the Romania + Moldova guidebook - not that they took any notice!

Dining alone doesn't usually bother me. Think of it this way - when you dine with a group do you focus on single diners and pity them? Of course not, no one else does that when you dine alone.

I have an Amazon Kindle e-book. It always getrs attention from the waiter. I've had lots of lovely conversations about it - in fact sometimes more than I want. I think Jeff Bezos owes me some free books for the advertising I've done.

And Suze - as far as I'm concerned you can order wine any time you like. Heck have it with breakfast you're on a trip!

I will often grab a sandwich and fruit at a deli, and go to the beach, or a picnic area in a park, or a city square and eat while I watch people or whales.

Many towns have specialty fast foods, and when I'm by myself I might indulge in burritos, samosas or falafels more frequently than restaurant dining.

I am also more comfortable eating breakfast alone, so I'll enjoy a hearty omelet and eat light later in the day.

I'll pick up fruit and snacks to eat in my room, and catch up on reading and writing, and go to bed early to get an fresh start the next day.

I can often drop a few pounds when I travel by myself, versus eating out with my husband twice a day. I walk more, and I pretend I'm on a spa vacation.

I get most attention when I travel and dine alone but it has always been the admiring kind. Perhaps it is because many are afraid to do this solo, they think it is a reflection of great strength and bravery? I also often take pictures of my meal when it arrives and didn't think about it till just now.....maybe some think I am a food critic or writer?

Thanks to everyone for pitching in with great ideas. Both for comfortable solo restaurant experiences, and other alternatives.

I like the idea of museum cafes! I can picture that would be perfect for me.

Upscale hotels in cities with a large expat/business-transient population usually handle this smoothly. Smile and say cheerfully &quot;just me!&quot; and you get seated somewhere with a good view. The staff may bring along reading materials with your water in an breezy and not at all patronizing manner.

Well, if I were alone and on a cruise, for instance, I would go up to a party of diners who didn't seem to be distincly coupled up and say &quot;mind if I join you.?&quot; All they can say is no.

We have made it a point, on cruises, to look for people who seem to be travelling alone and ask if they would join our group. Some say, &quot;no, I am enjoying being alone&quot;, but some do join us, and we have met some spectacular people that way.

In a restaurant, I don't see why it's a problem. Lots of places in Europe will ask &quot;do you mind if we seat you with some other folks.&quot;

I truly believe people are just about as alone as they want to be. If you prefer to be alone, then be, and enjoy it, without reservations.

A variety of tips and stories about dining solo can be found at boldlysogolo.com in the &quot;dining solo&quot; category. Find specific restaurants, and suggestions from others around the world.

Okay, let me try that again. The link is spelled incorrectly in the previous post! Sorry about that. Tips and suggestions for dining solo are at boldlygosolo.com.

Topping for HEATHER on the Europe Forum, and also to add that I also love the &quot;museum cafe&quot; suggestion.
Convenient, yet cultured!

Oh for heaven's sake, when did eating solo become wierd?

Lollylo25~ if you dine solo and never feel uncomfortable or have a different experience than when you are out as a couple or with friends... well good for you, I guess.

No it's not weird, but it's not all that common. Just look around any restaurant at dinner time, how many tables have just one person? Not many.

And it *does* happen to make some people uncomfortable. Therefore this thread, with all the good tips and helpful suggestions.

Solo diners are more common than you think. It often depends on where you go to eat. If you usually dine out on &quot;date night&quot; with your significant other at a place you chose for its romantic ambiance, or at family-oriented restaurants with the kids, you probably will have rarely if ever seen anyone eating alone. Conversely, if you go to the restaurant of a hotel frequented by business travelers, you'll probably see a majority of solo diners (often dressed in full business attire oblivious to the world as they work feverishly on their laptops to finish tomorrow morning's presentation or catch up on what they're missing at the office). If you go to a wide variety of restaurants, you'll probably encounter a smattering of solo diners if you make a point of looking around the room.

I suspect that most &quot;normal&quot; people who dine out with significant others, family, or friends don't even notice the solo diners in their midst. They don't think solo dining is weird because they've never thought about it at all (although they might think it's weird if it ever does appear on their radar screen). That might offer some consolation to the many people who are afraid they'll be stared at or considered &quot;weird&quot; if they go to a restaurant alone. It might not offer consolation to those who are simply uncomfortable dining alone because they're sitting by themselves in a room full of couples, families, and friends. The only cure for that is to become confident and comfortable alone, which also happens to be the key to enjoying any other aspect of solo travel. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done. Especially in a culture that equates leisure travel with couples and families, and with a travel industry that too often really does treat soloists as aberrations and gives them financial penalties and inferior service.

I have never been treated poorly by the wait staff of a restaurant because I was a solo diner. Once, I went into a nice fancy restaurant for lunch and the host was slightly surprised that I was alone. Other than that, the staff was wonderfully pleasant, the waitress even made sure to stop and discuss the meal afterwards (as you would normally do with friends after a good meal).

Most of the time I get perfectly fine service when I walk into a restaurant alone. It's the exceptions that are memorable, and that increase the apprehension. A few times I've phoned a restaurant for a dinner reservation, and when I answered the &quot;how many in your party&quot; question with &quot;one&quot; the response was &quot;We don't take reservations for one.&quot; I have a hard time resisting the urge to reply to that with a well-deserved obscenity, but I know that would only give them the smug satisfaction of validating their policy.

I've also arrived at restaurants without a reservation (or that didn't take reservations), put in my &quot;party of one&quot; with the hostess, and then sat and waited. And waited. And waited. And watched couples and families who walked in after I did get cheerfully greeted and quickly seated. Until I finally got the not-so-subtle message that they didn't want me squandering a perfectly good table, and slunk away in disgust and embarrassment. (Complaining obviously would do no good.) This happened several times on solo trips to Hawaii during Christmas week, which is one of the reasons I now stay home during that time.

More common are the smaller slights that mar an otherwise good experience. Such as the hostess greeting me with &quot;Are you by yourself tonight?&quot; or &quot;Just you?&quot; And the busboy asking me the same question before whisking away the other table settings. These questions are surely more ignorant than malevolent, but they seem to indicate a staff that doesn't see many solo customers and doesn't quite know what to do with someone of my strange species. It's something different from a waiter who is obviously trying to hurry me out of there to free up the table for a more lucrative party (on the other hand, such a waiter may think he's being helpful by minimizing my discomfort-- it's difficult to determine the actual motivation).

Again, most of the time I'm treated like any other customer. But I do my part to increase the odds. I know better than to walk into a nice restaurant alone at the peak dinner hour on a Friday or Saturday night. If I do eat dinner out, I go early. Otherwise I go to a nice restaurant for lunch, when it's more comfortable and cheaper.

I do most of my solo dining in Europe and Asia, but I went up to Washington on my own this weekend to visit the Afghan exhibition, and decided to pay attention to how other diners reacted to the &quot;solo&quot; in their midst. I ate dinner at Jaleo Crystal City (noisy and full of groups) and a Thai restaurant (not very full of couples) also at Crystal City, and lunch at the Cascade Cafe in the National Gallery of Art, and a French bistro at the intersection of Connecticut and Florida Avenues. The only place anyone other than the wait staff paid the slightest attention to me was in the Cascade Cafe (so much for the museum suggestion!) - and there I was in the direct line of sight of a family party that wasn't doing too much interacting.

Since Jaleo is a tapas place it really works best for groups, but even though I arrived early for an Open Table reservation for one, I was seated promptly at a good table.

JBH wrote: &quot;the smaller slights that mar an otherwise good experience. Such as the hostess greeting me with &quot;Are you by yourself tonight?&quot; or &quot;Just you?&quot; And the busboy asking me the same question before whisking away the other table settings.&quot; I take remarks like that as requests for information - I could have been planning to meet someone and arrived first.

I think of them that way also Thursday. Shouldn't they ask before taking away the other place setting?

Perhaps they could have asked &quot;my I take this place setting?&quot;, but I almost feel that's worse because it's like they're afraid to point out I'm dining alone. I'm here by myself, I don't need to pretend I'm waiting for someone or that I've been stood up so I don't expect the staff to do the same.

It <i>is</i> a request for information. But the way they ask it reminds me that I'm alone (as if I need reminding). Sometimes is seems to feel more more awkward for them than for me. I think &quot;may I take the other settings&quot; or &quot;do you need the other settings&quot; would be better, since it feels more like a simple request for information that doesn't explicitly emphasize my solo status. But I don't think I've ever heard anyone take that approach.

JBH - maybe how you see the question depends on how self-conscious you feel about being on your own in the first place?

&quot;Becoming confident &amp; comfortable alone&quot;...GREAT ADVICE. Truth is, most people are so scared of being alone because they fear what they may find out about themselves. But that is a topic for another venue. Dining alone, if one is uncomfortable doing this while traveling, you may want to stick to places that don't cater to families or couples. One look inside at the menu &amp; folks dining will usually give you a clue. Traveling solo has so many benefits, that dining solo should not keep you from this experience. Besides, many cities have street markets. where you can eat while wandering around!

Casual dining is easy but not fine dining. If the latter restaurants are located in a hotel then it's not an issue. I will only fine dine alone in a non-hotel setting if there is a fabulous view to look at. I was in NYC city once and had Sunday lunch alone in one of Tavern on the Green's romantic rooms. I was quite comfortable despite being the only lone diner. I'm also quite comfortable dining alone in honeymoon resorts but they are usually by the beach.

I'm not sure what the real distinction is between &quot;casual dining&quot; and &quot;fine dining.&quot; The latter probably refers to those restaurants that still impose a &quot;no jacket no tie no service&quot; dress code. But due to what some call &quot;decay&quot; or &quot;dumbing-down,&quot; there are plenty of restaurants that offer fine food (if not necessarily an elegant &quot;ambiance&quot;) without the fancy dress requirement.

Since I don't particularly enjoy dressing up, I very rarely go to restaurants with dress codes; I've certainly never gone to one of them alone. But I would suspect a fancy-dress restaurant would add an extra level of discomfort for the solo diner. Those places cater to couples celebrating some special romantic occasion or high-powered business executives, so they probably seldom see a solo customer. On the other hand, if they're really as elegant as they purport to be, their staff should be professional enough to give a solo diner the same high level of service they'd give a couple for an anniversary dinner. If they don't (or if they tell a prospective solo diner that they don't take reservations for one), it proves they're not as fine a restaurant as they claim.

Maybe if you're able to truly enjoy a solo meal at such a restaurant, you've surely reached the Titanium-Plus level of solo travel expertise and can comfortably and confidently go anywhere!

There are so many business travelers who by circumstances will find themselves dining alone at times. I know a few businessmen who have to jet around alone to take care of their projects, etc. I have seen restaurants cater to these people.

JB, take on the airs of one of these men who are thinking about other things and expect top service as a given. Dress and act the part and see if things fall into place. I hope they do for you.

Some years ago, DH and I decided that we would make one new acquaintence every month, since we were pretty new in town too. At a time just before Xmas,we were dining in a grand hotel and noticed an elder gentleman dining alone. We looked at each other and went over to introduce ourselves, ask him if he would consider dining with us.

Well, he came over, we had a grand visit, and he even took the bus over to our home later in the month to meet and enjoy our little kids....so tell me, would you like it or not, those of you who dine alone, if someone you didn't know invited you to share their table?

Just remembering what a good time that Xmas.

I have been invited to join other diners if I have been dining alone. It depends on the group dynamics if I enjoy the experience or not.

Two dinners come to mind off hand, one was I was invited by the male to join he and his wife, I could tell right off the bat that when I did join them it was not a good idea. In all innocence (on my part) the man and I hit it off and the wife sneered and sulked until I excused myself and left. Another time I joined a group of couples and we had a great time too, I met up with the ladies to visit some churches later in the week. Same as at home, ya just never know.