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Maybe last night's wild partying has left me feeling curmudgeonly. But I feel the need to bring in some balance here. I'm one of those people who travels solo by default rather than preference. So I can write a very lengthy list of disadvantages to solo travel.
But I won't do that, because of one advantage-- the one and only advantage, as far as I'm concerned-- that outweighs them all: <i>I can go where I want, when I want, how I want, rather than sitting home or wasting my time in a futile search for a suitable travel companion.</i> I may never understand how solo travel is "empowering," "spiritual," or otherwise worth raving about. Maybe men are inherently incapable of such understanding, since I've only heard that from women. And I don't find that I enjoy it more as I gain experience with it. But given a choice between going somewhere interesting alone or staying home alone, I'll take the solo trip. Other than that, I have nothing good to say. But that may be enough. That said, I think SeaUrchin's "best of both worlds" approach is the best way to go. That's been my (all too rare) experience. But in the absence of that, solo is the way to go. It's better than staying home for the lack of a travel companion. (Happy New Year to everyone.) |
JB - I think you here about "empowering", etc. from women because historically women have been told traveling alone is something that "is just not done". Women have been raised that they need a man around to be able to do things like travel. Therefore women tend to feel "empowered", "enlightened", etc. when they finally break through those constraints and prove that "they really can do it".
Historically, men have not had that taboo placed on them, therefore they haven't had to "prove" anything to themselves. I think there also seems to be a change in the way we work. Women seem to be getting a grip on "being alone" and are feeling more comfortable with themselves. They aren't feeling as pressured to be married or "with someone". Whereas, I think men are starting to feel more pressure to be "with someone". Whether it's the stigma of being a lonely bachelor or a possible psycho, I think men are feeling less comfortable when they're alone than women are now. |
I'd actually say that Americans of both sexes are continually told that traveling alone is something that is "just not done." Tour and cruise operators sell their packages only to couples, families, and groups (and actively discourage singles with punitive "supplements"). Brochures from tourist bureaus and travel articles in magazines and newspapers lavishly describe all sorts of activities for couples and families but make no mention of singles or solos. When guidebooks bother to address single travelers, it's usually a cautionary note for "women traveling alone."
Things might be different in other countries, but in the United States the message is loud and clear: "Leisure travel is for couples, families, and groups." So anyone of either sex who does travel alone is, I guess, "empowered" because they're going against a very strong cultural bias. But as you note, there may be more to it than that for women. I don't know about the "lonely bachelor" stigma (although it seems the corresponding "old maid" stigma is older and stronger), but my experience definitely is that couples and families see a solo male as inherently dangerous and someone to run away from as fast as possible before he attacks. A woman may not have that presumption, and may thus benefit from being able to meet other people wherever she travels. So for that reason a man may be less comfortable when traveling alone than a woman, and may find less reason to truly enjoy it (as opposed to doing it because it's better than staying home). I also think that, in general, women enjoy travel more than men. |
JBH, I don't think it is just an American thing. From my knowledge, European women don't travel solo more than American women, less if anything.
Good luck with your single travels! |
JBH~ I'd be perfectly willing to change my original post if I could, and make the #1 pro say instead... "It beats staying home"
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Yes, the "old maid" stigma is older and has been stronger, but I think in the past 30 years, it has been weakening. I think women like Katherine Hepburn have shown that just because your old, childless and unmarried doesn't mean you're useless, etc.
On the other hand, men like Hugh Hefner have strengthened the image that an "old bachelor" is just a perverted old man. Add to that the "dangerous" man stigma, and I think men are having a harder time being older and single than women are now. I also think that women tend to look for "inspiration" and "deeper meaning" in their daily lives than men do. Men always had a strong purpose for what they do - "to provide for the family", where women started faltering with their purpose. As it became more common for women to be in the workforce, I think women started expanding their purpose. I think men have been more stagnated in that area and are still pushed heavily into the "provide for the family" purpose to the exclusion of anything else. Women's purposes now include "self-fulfillment", "self-illumination", "self-guidance", "self esteem", etc... see a trend here. :) |
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