david...the majority of your humour humour is brilliant. don't get discouraged. you're probably just used to playing to the public school set and need a bit of direction to keep the masses laughing. it's a class thing.

if it's any consolation, i thought that your advice to communicate in mime whilst visiting paris was a riot.

now take off your skirt and get right back out there!

Thanks walkingaround - but judging by the sort of posts that the bum-grape San Paris and his merry bunch of pranksters keep posting it would appear that you are outnumbered – but thanks anyway.

David - Ignore it - think of the detractors as some sort of transatlantic Gooners.

Come one David, you get worse than this in the crackhouses of Kings Cross. You can cockney rhyme yourself out of this corner, easy.

Willit: It's not just yanks like the San Paris pustule, indeed one of the worst offenders is an english bint who seriously gets my goat.

Kate: None of these people would be brave enough to even speak to me in real life ( I look like all the photofits on crimewatch - all of them). That's why I can't be bothered to put up with them. If they offered anything other than negativity and wet blanketness (again a cromulent word) then there would be some point in staying around and having it out with them, but they are archetypal passive aggressive tossers, who will simply not GO AWAY.

Given that - I will go away and leave them to what they have made.

I know they smell of wet dog and regret anyway.

Why soccer? Why not?

Boring is subjective. What is boring to some is not to others. No one is holding people at gunpoint forcing them to watch (or are they?) If so, they have bigger problems than boredom.

Signed, A Yank who is not a huge fan of soccer/football but definitely does not find it boring or stupid, either. Certainly it is more interesting than NASCAR.

David! Pull yourself together! Where's that British stiff-upper lip and steely reserve!?!?!? And more to the point what's been going on here since I was last posting regularly?!

Quite frankly if they're too stupid, priggish or downright up their own a**es to get the humour, f... err.. sod 'em.

You are without doubt one of my favourite contributors, which goes to prove that I am neither stupid, a prig nor stuck up my own ar*e!!!!

Hurrah!

Thanks tallulah,

You may also be interested to know that the prick that started this hasn't taken up my option of contacting me directly (probably an iron if you ask me).

Anyway i'm going down the pub to meet my real friends - I'll leave San Paris to continue jibbering away on MySpace to teenagers who might think he has something of value to say.

Turn left, turn left, turn left -- how can NASCAR be boring??????

But I've got to say this Cup is doing nothing to dissuade me that soccer/football isn't one of the most corrupt sports on earth (after boxing). The big names get all the calls, i.e., Italy vs. Australia and the 2nd Brazil goal vs. Ghana.

Careful David, don't you think that going down the pub might label you some dreadful oafish lout? On this site thou shalt only be interested in museums and galleries...!! ;-)

I think that with an online forum it is really hard to pick up on all-in-fun teasing because it can be difficult to establish tone when one is depending on the written word alone. When a person can hear tone of voice, it's a lot easier. I wonder if some of the people arguing here might not be if they could hear cadence, tones, etc., that go with listening to an actual voice. I know I've misunderstood some humor because of what I perceive to be lack of reliable tone. Last week I accused Dave of acting like a jerk, and I would like to apologize for saying that.

While David and SanParis duel, Brazil moves on to the Soccer World Cup quarter finals...

Brazil vs Portugal in the Sfs.

david...americans love this kind of emotional outburst. they love to see the human side...that's why they resent the british...too robotic and scripted. you are the new princess di to them. i'm sure this has made you more real and the start of some real bridge building. good on ya.

but seriously. king's cross is a mess. explosive tanks are hanging by a thread and commuters are stranded and sleeping in pubs (perhaps why david is a bit stressed and should be given a bit more space). what the devil are you doing fighting with the americans and now running off to the pub? britons look to their councils to hold their hands even in the best of times. they certainly do need you now when things are looking this grim....the whole neighbourhood is an exclusion zone for crissake. i'm sure with your combination of street smarts and good ole english toffity...and now, as we see, an ability to make a real emotional connection with people, you could be doing some real good for all those people who are stranded and uncertain of their lives. get out there for crissake.

hope to see you tomorrow after you sleep all of this off.

Just got back from Europe having spent time in Germany and it was exciting to be there and watching all the emotions spill out from people. Also I watched the England Ecuador game in a pub on Victoria Street and it was interesting to say the least watching the reactions of the fans.

However, as a sports fan, this tournament has brought out why it's hard for me to take soccer seriously.

It is interesting to note 8 teams are left, England, Germany, Portugal, France, Ukraine, Italy, Argentina and Brazil...6 from Europe and 2 from South America.

Now I don't think the USA team played very well but they were jobbed as we say at home in the Italy game when non existant infractions were red carded and the US had to play 9 men to 10 for almost half the game and then in the Ghana game on a non existant penalty kick that gave Ghana the victory...Australia was literally robbed by a ridiculous call in stoppage time and another non existant penalty call.....

You know what it is...the refs know that if they make a bad call against the United States or Australia or any other non European team, nothing will happen to them...but make a bad call against some European team and look out. Soccer is a very low scoring game, maybe 2 or 3 goals a game and a referee can literally hand a team a goal if he calls a penalty so of course players are diving all the time in the penalty area hoping to get the call as the Italian guy did against Australia and the Ghana guy did against the Americans.

Quite frankly, I don't think England has played all that well but look who they were pitted against, Trinidad & Tobago whom the US always beats in their confederation, Paraguay (an own goal in the 4th minute "propelled" them to victory and Sweden who tied them....and they were pretty putrid against Ecuador....If the USA had that draw, they could have advanced also but the USA, who should have been seeded but Mexico for some strange reason was seeded ahead of them, got into a group with Italy, Czech Republic and Ghana.

The whole thing is contrived by FIFA to see that the European teams do well and also Argentina and Brazil...that's it...yeah yeah yead every so often some non European team does well but it's few and far between.

I would like to say the game is great but 99% of them are decided by bogus calls by officials who while I am not saying they are paid off fear for their lives (and referees have been killed in soccer games, we know that).

Sorry....the whole thing is a farce.

xyz,
100 percent correct. I've been around long enough to have seen pele in a live game and watch juventus on their home pitch ... and couldn't agree more with your main points.

that whole seeding issue was amazing, given the way the u.s. has handled mexico in recent years -- and that the U.S. finished ahead of them in qualifying. It's a great game run (or ruined) by men with dirty hands.

Excuse me!! If I want you to go, I'll tell you so. Just e cause you're racist about us poor Scots, doesn't make you a bad person.

Get your arse back in here, and behave, now.

(It's my ba' an' I'm gan hame?)

David

Don't let them get to you, there are a few that get on my wick, but I don't let it bother me.

I still love your quote about women with hairy legs and an unhealthy interest in tennis.

I really miss working with fellow Brits as the banter and jokes that fly around the office is great, instead I'm surrounded by Americans, French, Swedes, Germans & Italians, with not a joke between them.

Geordie

xyz123 - Are you sure you are not English , as you seem to have developped a serious case of Sour Grapes.

I think you make some good points, but others I think are debatable at best.
USA seeded ahead of Mexico ? - Why - Mexico are higher in the FIFA rankings (Which can be farcical - there is no way that the USA should be higher ranked than e.g Italy, Argentina, Portugal, Germany and England.

Yes USA were the victims of some poor refereeing against Italy (Although the first red card was fully justified IMO - two footed lunging tackle) and Ghana. These things happen, and it is not just "Non Europeans" who suffer - Italy were beaten in the last world cup after some appalling refereeing errors. Ghana yesterday could say that any decisions that went with them against USA definitely went against them for Brazil.

For the most part the USA failed to qualify because they lost heavily in the first game. I do agree they would probably have qualified had they been in England's group.

Yes, David has been very helpful to many posters, myself included. And I'm grateful for that help.
But SAnParis has ALSO been very helpful on many occasions and I don't think we should overlook that.

Moreover, I don't think under any definition it can be considered mere "banter" to tell posters to bugger off and then call them, among other things:
passive aggressive cobbler
old-lady Taliban
trench cock
cock chafer
pustule
passive aggressive tosser, and
prick

Also, I too get a little weary of all these comments about effete, thin-skinned, fat, useless, yadda yadda yadda Americans. Walkinaround made a good point. Once may be funny, twice may still be funny, the third time, not so much, and after that, you've simply going to the same well too often. If, everytime someone asked about something in the UK, I made a bunch of (not particularly) funny comments about watch out for the bad teeth, ooh, avert your face when Brits smile, those teeth will make you lose your lunch, etc. etc., I think the Brits would get bored with it too (since it's not really true and in fact, the best dentist I've ever had is the one I found here in Maidenhead). CS routinely gets his knickers in a twist if someone disparages the UK breakfast of beans on toast. Brits aren't REALLY as thick skinned as they like to think they are.

Anyway, I'm going to write off this whole thread as testosterone gone wild. The OP made it kind of inflammatory to begin with, and then everyone ran with it.

I hope David comes back rested and refreshed from his short break. And that the editors euthanize this thread as soon as possible. It deserves to die far more than Bruno the bear ever did!