Why do people withhold their names on so many posts on this forum?
 

I have noticed that many people use a fake name in response to posts on this forum. Obviously, sometimes this is because they want to be rude and don't want to tarnish their Fodors identity and reputation. But I often see posts that are nothing to be ashamed of, yet the author does not use his/her name. I'm not talking about withholding an e-mail address; I understand that. So what is with all of the fake names?

Check out the Margo and Hello Europe discussion. People and companies have been using this forum to collect e-mails for target marketing purposes. If you don't mind receiving spam in your e-mail, you should feel free to post your true ISP address. Mine was apparently sold on some lists because I was spammed so often I finally changed my e-mail. It's not the end of the world, but it's annoying. <BR> <BR>Anyway, that's my story, I'm sure others have different one.

Actually, I understand why people do not provide their true e-mails. My question is why people won't use their first name instead of something like "SorryKaren" or "NoName". Just curious, that's all.

Karen, if I used my real name all of the time, you would learn that I post too much, that I am addicted to this forum, and that I should get a life. So I post now and then without my real name if I think I have been too active lately, and I figure you all won't mind so long as I am extra polite about it. <BR> <BR>Is anyone else doing this, or is it just me?

Because some of us are at work, using our work email.

SPAM!

I use my first name, but my last name is fairly unusual and I don't want anyone to be able to track me down. There are too many crazies out there!

Ariel and Frank, you didn't understand Karen's question. <BR> <BR>I like it when I can recognize a poster by their first name so I can take what they say in context (based on what they've posted before).

I've used my real name and discovered that the things I posted about were the topics of derision, scorn and laughter on other topics. I meant my posts sincerely and was surprised and admittedly a little hurt that I came here to help and learn from other travelers but was instead used as a huge joke for the regulars here. O.K., maybe I'm naive about some things but I came here to learn and was chided instead. Names and e-mails should be voluntary here, it's become too abusive.

Dear noname and nowhere, <BR>Your message is probably the saddest one I've read in three years spent fodoring. The only good thing I can see in your post is that you did not go away. I am glad you stayed. <BR>I like it when everyone posts under a consistent name and then you can get used to who/what they are, even if it is a web name. Since I went to my initials (away from my name) and quit posting under my work email a few months ago, I certainly understand those who do that. I must say that I miss the occasional direct email from a friendly fodorite, but I do feel more secure.

I stopped posting under my real name because i was getting way too much junk email. i suspect some spamers troll these forums for names and email addresses

I agree with K.K about how sad it is, concerning Noname, but I have seen what nonanme talking about. <BR>There do seem to be some posters to this site that that really are fairly intolerant, and seem to want to tell others what is acceptable or not! <BR>Also, can see xxxx.'s point about this site becoming an addiction!!! <BR>But I did learn something,SPAM. <BR>Knock on wood so far, but I'm not sure I am still willing to take a chance. <BR>But I remain as always, <BR>Nancy

Having been SPAM'd and attacked and recruited for bogus "opportunities," I learned quickly not to use my real name. But I also prefer to keep my gender masked sometimes, too, because sometimes credibility seems to hinge on gender, and sometimes the trolls and curmudgeons are quick to jump to assumptions and judgments based on what they think you are, which almost always takes the discussion away from travel questions. (The infamous AMS postings on the US forum never revealed gender and everyone assumed AMS was a "he," although one could easily have inferred the opposite from certain comments.) <BR> <BR>There used to be a Boston Globe section called "Confidential Chat" in which writers (mostly women -- it was in the "women's pages") gave themselves tagnames and wrote to each other. It seemed most enjoyed taking on an alter-ego, not too different from CB radio "handles." <BR> <BR>Finally, it usually doesn't matter WHAT my name is (if it does, like to invite off-forum communication, I'll supply it), just to add a thought. Remember who "Nemo" is/what it means?

I wondered the same question myself. I assumed that those people wanted to remain anonymous to protect their privacy. I am new to this forum for just a couple of weeks. I have never seen so many highly individulaized email addresses as here! I am aware of dot.coms like hotmail, yahoo, & mail etc. Where is your source for getting or making more indivualized email addresses? Thanks for sharing. <BR> <BR>Julie (my real name)

kk and all, you're very kind to "stick up" for me, I can tell you all have good hearts. But hey, it didn't shatter my world or anything like that and it certainly didn't scare me off the forum. <BR> <BR>Karen wanted to know why some people posted helpful advice under pseudonyms. Since I'm one of those people, I thought I'd explain why. Some folks here, like Brian in Atlanta, like consistent names, I think, because they can attach whatever level of credibility they have assigned to that poster and use it to evaluate the posts. <BR> <BR>I don't want to post under my real name and have my comments forever associated with posts that people made fun of. You know, I post, then someone brings back the derisive posts to put me back in my place, that sort of thing. <BR> <BR>I've traveled alot since I first came here, am less naive, and I think I have good tips to share, but I don't care if I receive credit for them by posting under consistent names. If my tips help you, great. You don't have to acknowledge them, just hopefully use them to have more fun on your trips.

Please tell me I'm not the only one sick <BR>of seeing this inane post keep popping up. (Apologies for doing in again)

dearme

O.K. you guys, take that gun away from fakename's head so he isn't forced to read this post anymore!

I have continued to use my real name, etc. on this forum, but it is a policy I have strongly reconsidered because there are some definite downsides. . One negative aspect of my practice is that I seem to get more junk mail than before, but I am not always sure of the origin. That type of mail is easy to delete; some of it goes away without my evening reading it. That is a minor issue. <BR> <BR>The strongest reason I can think of for using a fake email address is protection against personal attacks. More than once someone who took issue with my statements has emailed me a message that was a vicious, insulting, even threatening assault. <BR> <BR>The most flagrant case resulted from an attempt I made once to help someone translate a communication in German. There was a minor error in my translation and a man from Germany (so he said) directed a vicious, virulent and insulting attack toward me in a personal email. So the sadistic nastiness we see sometimes on this forum can also be very personal. Fake email addresses preclude that sort of ugliness from finding its victim. <BR> <BR>On the positive side, I have made a couple of personal friends that I would never have made had I used a fake name and address. So the bitter comes with the sweet. But I must admit that some of the vicious attacks leave me wondering.

I'll tell you exactly why. I posted twice to Fodors Forum and since have been swamped with unsolicited and unwanted e-mails (SPAM). Without a doubt, these Forums were the source. I know it for a fact.

This is the first time I have ever NOT used my own name & address. I'm live in Australia now and have been posting here for about a year. I have never had any spam and I have made good friends. <BR> <BR>Just out of interest, is this spam thing definitely from the European Forum? or could it be that the US Forum is being trawled and they don't bother about us?

Thank you all for your interesting thoughts, but about half of the responses misunderstand my question, so I'll clarify things. <BR> <BR>I am not asking why people do not give their real e-mail address. I am asking why people won't post under a consistently used real or made-up name, set of initials or other ID so that one can put the post in context and appreciate the personality of the person, as Brian points out. <BR> <BR>You see, I post as Karen with no e-mail address. No one can spam me or threaten me or find me. <BR> <BR>For the person who asked where everyone gets the "custom" e-mail addresses, I think they just make them up. If you tried to send me something, I don't know where your e-mail would go, but it wouldn't go to me. <BR> <BR>I feel sad that people feel they must post anonomously because people will attack them personally. That is too bad, but I can relate. For some odd reason, it really feels terrible when some stranger posts something rude to you. But you could always start posting under a different name (maybe your initials) and start anew. <BR> <BR>To the extent this forum is a community of really smart and interesting people, having consistent names helps make it more enjoyable. If we want the forum to become a bland collection of hotel recommendations, I guess it does not matter much.

Karen, I think you have made some good points. I always post under my real name (heck even my last name) and real e-mail address (which just changed by the way). I can definitely understand why some would use different e-mail addresses, but I don't mind deleting all the SPAM that comes as a result. I would like it if people used their own names or consistently fake ones, just as you are saying. However, at the same time I can see why people would feel compelled to change them - usually to say something that they don't want associated with their name. That is one of the big advantages and disadvantages of the Internet. We are much more likely to say what is on our minds over the Web which is generally good. At the same time, we can say it without being responsible or accountable, and that may not be such a good thing. I get pretty opinionated on some issues, and people identify that with me - Dan. There are others out there who get even more opinionated but use fake names and don't get those opinions associated with a real name. When I have an opinion or thought that I don't want associated with me, I just don't express it. That is much the way we do things face to face, isn't it? <BR> <BR>The kinds of personal attacks that Bob and others have mentioned have not happened to me yet. Honestly, I am kind of surprised, since I am usually not hesitant to express an opinion. If that happened enough, I might get an e-mail just for Fodors postings. I do love getting positive e-mails from fellow Fodors users.

Dan, first, you've never ever posted anything mean and nasty. You express opinions and do so cogently, so why would anyone jump on you. <BR>Second, what you've written reminds me of a social science report I saw recently. It opined that the perceived over all decline in civility is associated with the move away from small town living. In small towns, the theory goes, everyone knew you and there would be consequences to your behaving rudely, badly, whatever. In big towns you deal more often with strangers, and they don't effect you as much. Now, take that view to a far extreme and you get --anonymous postings on the internet. No consequences whatsoever so you can be as nasty as you want to be. <BR>As in most things, there are two sides, and there were down sides to the cooped-up-ness of living in a small town. I know, I came from one (12,000 pop.) Living in a city now of 4 million, I find I do miss those close interactions.

OOPS! Maybe I should change my handle. <BR>I meant to type kk but it came out in a triple k, and that is NOT an association I want to be stuck with--understatement.

to the top, any one else out there?

How do we know that Karen is your real name?

<BR>I use several different names so I don't get chastised for asking too many dumb questions as has happened in the past. Some of the regulars scan this all day and write back "not always nice" when the question may be repetitive. But a new poster would not know that. I do use my real email address on some posts, but I do not go by that name. This is the greatest site, but I believe people have to realize what it is----It is a site to find out questions on travel, no matter how trivial. The regulars (I can be one) must let them do that and not "jump them" when they ask a question that is thought of as basic or simple. I asked a question once in a hurry and got 9 great posts and one so vile, my archest enemy has been nicer. <BR>

Because, Dummy, you will get scalded and intimidated, and who knows what will pop up in your real mail. What a dumb question, given the caliber of some of the lunatics that enter here. Some of these guys are just lying in wait to insult anyone who tries to be informative.

Gee, Sandi, that was really rude and totally uncalled for. You owe Karen an apology. And by the way, Karen was asking about using a name (like "Sandi"), not e-mail addresses.

Sandi, nothing like calling someone a "dummy" and tell them "that was a dumb question" to welcome them to the site and encourage people to post helpful hints. You are one of the people whose post was abusive to one of my questions in the past----All I did was try to find an answer to a travel question.

I agree . . . Sandi is often rude and abusive. She also starts stupid threads just to make fun of others. It is people like her that ruin it for everyone else.

I use various "alias" here. I have been the subject of some rude comments, receipient of some corrections on comments or misspellings that actually made me cringe, and I don't want anyone to know that I am addicted. I have something to contribute but I have become Once bitten, Twice shy! It does not stop me from contributing and reading the posts of other Fodorites!

Because ONCE I posted with my given name, and WHAM! SPAM! Just not "Hi, I've got this offer..." but from "Hey, do you wanna..." sites! Quite frankly, I've posted on AOL travel boards for over three years and NOT until I posted innocently ONCE on Fodors.com did the SPAM mail start! Bottom Line: Just don't use the "e-mail address" portion. <BR> <BR>

Isn't this strange? Karen asks about names, and people give hotheaded responses about their e-mail addresses and spam, even though the distinction was clarified several times by Karen and others. Hmmm.

Karen, <BR>It's funny you brought this topic up because it really is one of my pet peeves that people won't use, if not their real name, at least a recognizable name. I have always used my name because I feel I "should" take responsibility for what I post, regardless of whether it makes everyone love me or not. There is no way I'm going to please all the people all the time... that's become very obvious since I've started coming in here. Seems the US forum, much more so than the Europe forum, has a following of "no names" that are incredibly abusive and rude and who looooooove to instigate. There was a particular thread that everyone that sorta agreed with me was thought to be me...('taint so!) and of course every one of the accusers were "no names"... go figure. <BR>Had to fight the urge to defend myself... I hope others that have read my posts recognize me for the posts I have really submitted. (did that all make sense?) <BR>Sometimes things do get really wierd in here but for the most part, I feel as long as I'm true to myself you can take what you want and leave the rest behind. No one has to agree with me...what I post is just my opinion. <BR>It would be nice if those "embarrassed" poster above would use your name - nothing wrong with posting - maybe we could get to know each other better that way... <BR>To each his own, I suppose!

Yeah, you can get spam, but I haven't had all that much and I can deal with it more easily than the bloomin' dinner time phone calls from siding or credit card types. Except for that "artist" guy, who really should try farming. <BR> <BR>A couple of times I've had followup questions come to my "real" email address from postings where more help was needed, and a couple of times I've emailed people myself to ask questions raised by the forums. Nice. <BR> <BR>Some folks need to use alias addresses because the boss is watching, or maybe their spouse. I just wish people would remember Davy Crockett's words about not saying anything to others if you can't say anything nice. I'd bet the spam comes more to those who make nasty than those who make nice.

Why?

Well, I'm beginning to understand why, and to think that it's -regrettably-very wise: there are spammers out there who sacn the forums and send you junk. It happened to me several times, including lately from one of the Orient hotels (they weren't even ashamed about it)! So, this IS my real name, but not for very much longer. Too bad.

I agree, Sharon and others. I don't really get why everyone doesn't use their real names and take responsibility for their posts. Use a nice cyber-name like "Crooklyn Prince" or "Marseilles Minx" if you don't want to use your civilian one. Likewise, I have no problem with anyone leaving out their web address. BUT, if everyone consistantly used their "handle" I believe we would have an even better community here. <BR> <BR>I don't care if someone posts alot. I like the people here! Frequent, regular postings happen on a few other internet boards out there, after all. <BR> <BR>On the one hand, I think people would be less mean here if they were taking responsibilty and using their consistent handles, and on the other hand, I think ya'all shouldn't get upset and take this stuff so seriously if someone critizes you. Remember, no one can hear you scream in cyberspace!!! <BR> <BR>P.S. - Fodors would, of course, need a sign-in/log-in for consistent handles and I don't believe we are all ready for that. Are we?