My older sister, who grew up under the same draconian food rules I did (clear your plate or get it cold for the next meal), is still at age 52 an incredibly picky eater.

The only dish she will eat with tomatoes in any form or melted cheese is pizza - no spaghetti sauce, no grilled cheese sandwiches. For breakfast she prefers dry cereal with milk. She used to eat only peanut sandwiches (bread plus peanut butter, nothing else) and carrots for lunch, but peanut butter no longer agrees with her, so now she will eat only turkey sandwiches (bread, turkey, iceberg lettuce, nothing else). She will not touch condiments - ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise. She doesn't eat salad dressing - has her salads dry. She doesn't eat casseroles, as she doesn't like food mixed together. She doesn't do sauces or gravy. She does eat several vegetables, but not if there is anything at all on them. She prefers steak and salmon, which of course are both quite expensive.

She typically eats at my parents' house two or three times a week (don't ask). My mother will not go any farther than leaving the tomato out of her salad, so my sister asks in advance and doesn't go if the menu isn't to her liking. I hate it when she visits me because I have to buy food for her that I know will get tossed after she goes because it's not my thing (I don't care for iceberg lettuce and or sliced turkey product, just the real thing after Thanksgiving), and I can't fix so many things I like because she won't eat them.

I'm picky in that I expect food to be well prepared. But I'll try nearly anything, and I like almost everything.

I don't mind people who have definite preferences, but when the acceptable range of food is so narrow, it's really a pain for the cook.

<i>cilantro</i>

Shhhh...LoveItaly...as you know, I cannot even read the word without cringing...

Oh cripes, LucieV..sorry, I forgot! But we both love the aroma of lavendar!

Artsnletter, your post gave me a chuckle as my daughter doesn't want any mayo or mustard on her sandwiches either. She said it is because she doesn't like mayo. Than why does she always request I make potato salad all of the time..it is made with Best Food mayo, sigh.

LoveItaly, I am with your daughter: I refuse to have mayo on my sandwiches either; and I, too, HAVE to have Best Foods in my potato (and/or macaroni) salad.

My sister is quite consistent. She won't eat potato salad because of the mayonnaise.

LucieV and LoveItaly, as to the "c" word, that seems to be one of those love-it-or-hate-it things. So many people don't get on with it that it's one of those things that shouldn't be imposed on the unwilling (of which I am also one).

Join the club, artsnletters.
All I know is it's not in my imagination, nor is it one of those tastes that is "acquired"!
http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=...dqHIepbTEZiUcw
<i>Taste of Cilantro-...Some people like the taste of cilantro. Other people hate it. There is actually a genetic polymorphism for a receptor that influences the way a person senses the taste of cilantro. Nobody knows for sure, but it is probably a codominant trait. Individuals with one or more copies of one variant tend to taste it as "soapy" or unpleasant.

I agree with BKP with respect to very young kids. Some times a child just doesn't care for the food being served and other times she is acting out or isn't hungry when it is mealtime. As BKP mentioned, the current, and sensible thinking, is that it is not wise to force a child to eat when she doesn't want to. Maybe the kid just isn't hungry. I would think that as long as the parent doesn't offer multiple alternatives to what is being served so the kid learns to refuse until she gets what she wants, if you child skips a meal here or there, no one is harmed. With a preschooler that is completely normal and they make it up the next day.

With my 3 year old sometimes I make a whole meal for her and she doesn't want it. She says she "doesn't like it" but I serve it to her the next day and she eats it. Probably unique to that age group but I wouldn't qualify that normal behavior as being a picky eater.

I just read a NY Times article about kids menus in restaurants and agree with the concept that a restaurant can have a kids menu with good food on it. Kids likely do not want fussy or fancy foods but that doesn't mean they need chicken nuggets and fries or macaroni and cheese. How about offering a roast chicken leg or a pasta dish with fresh tomatoes? I imagine most kids would eat that and that there are other parents like me who do not want to order a young child a full adult meal but would welcome a kids menu other than fried foods.

I love vegetables, fruits (except mango which I tolerate but never choose)and meats. However, I find many veg and meats that I eat in restaurants or at other homes oversalted even when others are shaking the stuff on their food. Pepper which is the in thing for meats and vegs burns my tongue (or at least gives that sensation). I am not crazy about the flavoring of curry, chili, or tacos. I eat them when in a situation where it is unavoidable without being rude, but usually go home with an awful stomachache.

I also seem to have a sharper sense of smell than many. I smell things others around me can't and find many cooking smells offensive. (Not cinnamon, clove, fresh bread, turkey, roast beef or cruciferous vegetables--the latter which are offensive to many but not me.) My sibs just say I am weird.

However, one of my friends found an article about people with "super taste buds" who can taste even a small amount of certain flavors and wonder if that is my problem.

My son was a nightmare to feed when he was young. My daughter was a breeze. They were both given the same options. My son would turn up his nose on a regular basis and Stephanie would be asking for her regular foods plus pate, olives and all sorts of gourmet foods.

Now, they are both adults in their 20's and both eat really well. They are adventurous and will try all sorts of things. So I don't think that it's the fault of the parents at all. Perhaps it is due to an over/under developed sense of smell?

kids are picky eaters when their parents don't FEED them healthy foods from the very beginning! They pander to what is thought to be their likes and avoid what is thought to be their dislikes. My own daughter (now 32) and a host of her friends grew up eating all sorts of ethnic foods, salads, vegetables, vegie diets and NONE of them ever were picky. It's all on the parents...

So djuna, I'm curious. Did you read all the above posts? How would you explain the many examples given above of families where most of the kids weren't picky but one was? The kids in one family all have the same parents, are offered the same food, have the same rules about mealtimes, etc. etc. No offense, but I think your explanation is a little too simplistic and does not fit the data.

<<kids are picky eaters when their parents don't FEED them healthy foods from the very beginning!........It's all on the parents...>>

I don't agree. We fed our children all sorts of things - the older one loved most things, the younger one didn't (except seafood). Several posters here have commented on how their children reacted differently to foods.

Unknown food allergies can also play a role. My brother - as a child - couldn't tolerate real butter. He eventually grew out of it, but it was very difficult when he was young. For me, I can't handle seafood (a real crime since I'm from New Orleans).

Sorry - but I can't place the blame on parents. There are WAY too many other factors at play.

irishface, re: "super taste buds"...it's not bs. See my 2:40pm post with link.

I find this thread to be obnoxious. It obviously has a lot to do with people's tastebuds.

My 17 year old son is an extremely picky eater. He likes most fruits and really just a handful of other things. He's always been that way. I don't coddle him or cater to him, if there's not something he likes, then he doesn't eat.

As you can see from many responses, some people have one child who will eat anything under the sun and another who is extremely picky. Everyone is different and I really don't understand the vitriol in this thread. As long as someone isn't obnoxious about it, I don't see why anyone cares what other people eat. Some of you really need to get over your smug, superior attitudes.

My mother's cooking was so bad, I used to look forward to airline food.

There are may reasons. But the following was curious. Andrew Zimmern, the fellow who eats bugs, turds, and carcasses did a show where he stopped at the Carnegie Deli in NYC. Not my favorite deli but that is another topic. He approached the chopped liver and pastrami, the foods on which I was raised, as odd anything found in the jungle.

So to add to this (unless someone already did it, since I ahve not read every word) is the attitude.

My favorite eaters are my Italian friends who are now boomers. It is not true for their kids. They will eat goat's heads, fish that have not been seen since the Paleozic age, and cheeses that would scare sweat socks. But they will not try somnething different in a restaurant and everything was compared to their mother's gravy (sauce.)

People tend to forget that their children do not spend 24 hours a day at home and are very much influenced by their peers at school, so there is nothing surprising about various foods being spurned if they are not "cool".

It is all so complicated, but there has been no mention above of the 'power factor' which often is just a part of the picture. My grandson won't eat much of anything at home but when he comes to my house, he says "I like everthing you like, Grandma" and my son pouts as the boy eats stuff he would never have tried at home.
There are genuine taste differences, but sometimes power between parent and child is a factor.

Never mind teh kids, what about the parents? We attending a black tie banquet at Blenheim Place organised by a major UK financial institution for several hundred people (great setting BTW). Typically for this type of event, the main course was chicken. I was seated next to the wife of the guy that had invited us. She did not like chicken and so asked the waiter if it would be possible to have beef. The waiter kindly obliged and came back with a steak. To rare she declared, could you cook it some more and, could I have chips instead of roast potatoes? The waiter returns some minutes later with a dish that finally meets with her approval. Imagine the surprise on the table of ten (including the CEO of her husband's company) when she then produced a thermos flask of her own gravy and pours it over her steak! When she looks up and see the other nine people at the table staring at her open mouthed she simply says "I only like my own gravy...

Don't blame it on the kids.

Crellston, that is amazing!!! Apart from the appalling stupidity of it, I have a visual of her getting ready for such an amazing event, and including time to prepare her gravy! I wonder if she made it from scratch or if it was supermarket gravy. I'm gobsmacked!!!