Who cooks?
 

From Reuters this morning: <BR> <BR>"LONDON (Reuters) - A leading supermarket has discovered what long-suffering British women have known for years -- the kitchen is foreign territory to most men who remain unrepentantly unreconstructed. <BR> <BR>"The survey of 800 British men by supermarket chain Safeway found that nearly half of them spent less than half an hour a week in the kitchen, and then usually only to boil the kettle. <BR> <BR>"For those who did not describe cooking as women's work and actually tried their hands at knocking up a meal the result was more often than not a somewhat unappetizing plate of baked beans on toast." <BR> <BR>Okay, we're not talking about the Great Chefs of Europe, here -- but in what countries/areas do men actually do some cooking at home? <BR> <BR>In the US for men over 40, it's generally whatever can be cooked outdoors. Indoor cooking is far too complicated for them. But a lot of younger men are becoming quite adept in the kitchen, and some have gotten almost insufferable about shooing the women away from the stove, for fear they might whip up a batch of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. <BR> <BR>

I already knew that I was weird, but I cook, and I continue to experiment with new make-it-up-as-I-go foods and ways to prepare them. <BR> <BR>And it's a reason that I love to get a place with a kitchen, whenever possible. <BR> <BR>Best wishes, <BR> <BR>Rex <BR>

My husband only goes into the kitchen to make a mess. He can make scrambled or boiled eggs, lunchmeat sandwiches and sausages. <BR> <BR>I'm teaching him to boil rice and make pasta. Very frustrating. He takes out a saucepan too small for the job, fills it an inch under the brim, and then is SHOCKED when it boils over. Do all men do this?

My husband is a wonderful cook. He claims he learned to cook out of self-interest - his mother was and still is a terrible cook. (However, I wouldn't call him exactly 'neat' in the kitchen.) My brother trained as a professional chef - given that my mother was a very good cook, I think it's just that he likes food. (He's also very neat in the kitchen and cleans up as he works.) <BR> <BR>For several years, my mother has been in poor health and she is now in a nursing home. My father is on his own, and he's become quite a good basic cook. I saw basic, however his baking is amazing. He could easily go into business selling his pies, tarts, cookies, etc. <BR> <BR>So some men can actually manage in the kitchen.

Based on my assesment of British cooking I would say the women have been in the kitchen too long, the men could make it no worse.

Maybe water seeks its own level, but a majority of my men friends are good cooks. One man just put in a full kitchen on his deck - wood oven, gas grill with 3 burners, full size fridge, etc.; when J & S were building their new house, both designed the kitchen (he wanted a tandoori oven, but she ixnayed that); when our company gave each employee a $100 American Express gift certificate, Mike and I couldn't wait to go to Williams-Sonoma - with a sidetrip to the restaurant supplier for a chinois; my boss is trying to decide between a cooking cruise or a cooking week in Italy for his sabbatical. <BR> <BR>To balance it all out is Chris, who has Domino's, Tokyo Bowl, Frank's Pizza and the China Palace on speed dial. <BR> <BR>Hee hee "beans on toast" - my Irish grandmother used to make this all the time; we blamed it on her having gone through the Depression, but apparently it's cultural, not economic. <BR> <BR>

My wife, thank god, cleans up behind me when I cook. I'm pretty sure the kitchen would look like a disaster if it were not for her. I don't know. She never lets that happen. Interestingly enough, she insists that she can't cook, but we make a great team. <BR> <BR>We have a daughter who has added baking to the family repertoire. Good thing. I can make a decent loaf of bread, from frozen bread dough. Knead a bunch of olive oil and herbs and stuff into it. Or banana bread, zucchini bread, things like that. But cakes and pastries and such, I've just never tried hard enough maybe. Thank goodness for our daughter! <BR>

My Dad is a great cook. His french toast kicked Mom's french toast in the butt!

I am very lucky -- my husband cooks weekday meals and I cook weekend meals. Hubby retired two years ago promised me that he'd like to cook if I'd agree to teach him. Well, we darn near divorced over the training period of three months but after "Teach" showed him the ropes (he had never cooked anything other than breakfast), he wrote down the recipes, put them on his computer and he's now a fabulous "from scratch" cook! <BR> <BR>BTW, he knows his way around a supermarket and gets better deals than I do because he's the coupon clipper! <BR> <BR>Spanky

We both do. Both of us came from families where dad cooked breakfasts regularly, barbecued in summer months & mom was kind of a so-so cook. We're both very good cooks & cooking together sometimes, I think, has made us better. We pretty much split the marketing, too. If I cook, he cleans up & vice versa. We like having company for dinner & usually have small dinners parties a couple of times a month. My guy has made me a little more adventuresome by using ingredients or recipes I've never tried, so I look upon my good fortune as an opportunity to become a person of more varied tastes. <BR>Bon Appetit! <BR>Kathy

Hubby was almost 34 when I married him, and did fair with his own cooking. I do the marketing, prepping, cooking, clean-up. Do I mind? Heavens no -- the guy is appreciative of every morsel!! <BR> <BR>The grill is his domain; I don't mind doing the prep work for that, either. <BR>

I cook occasionally, but so far my talents are fairly limited. My wife absolutely hates to cook. My mother almost always made good home-cooked meals for lunch and dinner, whereas my mother-in-law has never been into cooking. When she does cook, she tends to cook the *^&*%^ out of everything, which can really make for some mushy peas.

Question: Where do all you women find these men who cook?????!!! My husband has a tough time inserting a frozen pizza into the microwave!!!(He makes up for this by being a great all-around guy). I am a downright lousy cook, so we eat out a lot... make Peanut butter and honey sammies... coffee and various sweets... however I can upon occasion cook spaghetti that isn't fatal. <BR>The first time my then future in-laws came for dinner I bought this terrific Thai salad from my favorite restaurant.. took it home and put it on my plates... 4 years later and they STILL don't know I didn't make it... but when my Mother in-law asked me for the recipe recently.. I was pretty stumped.

I can cook (well, microwave) a mean lean cuisine or mix up a great salad! (Well, actually, I can cook a few things..just don't particularly like to...) <BR> <BR>It IS funny though, without ever really having thought about it, seems like every man I've ever have a long-term relationship with, has been an awesome, happy cook! Perhaps I just like men who aren't afraid of their "feminine side", don't let old stereo-types get in the way of what they love to do, or are simply the creative sort.

Thyra, <BR>My guy's ex was "domestically challenged" & this left him to do all his own laundry, all the marketing, etc. He was 30 when they married, & I have to say, she turned him into an absolutely fabulous wife for me!!! <BR>Kathy

I did all the cooking for 10 years, then I went to Italy w/ a girlfriend and came back obsessed with cooking authentic Italian food. My husband enjoyed it but didn't "get it". Then I took my husband and son to Itlay the following year. My husband, who was laid off just before the trip, is now the obsessed one. He's got the homemade past and sauce (and many ohters) down!

It's funny, but my husband cook *before* we got married.... Now, when I come home from a trip I ask the kids what they ate, all I hear is "soup". Go figure.

when living in Germany and single, I learned a few basics. I got engaged to Brunhilda and she did all of the cooking while we were together. Met my first wife who was a great cook. The only down side was that I was always a guinea pig for her new recopies. I did all of the cooking outdoors though, which was almost every weekend. After our divorce, I had my son almost every weekend and had to make sure that he ate well, so I learned to stir fry as well as other general cooking. My 2nd wife was not a very good cook but passable. Now I'm back on my own and doing some cooking but don't have time for a lot. I make a mean meat loaf, spaghetti and beef stew when I have the time. <BR>Regards <BR>

I am one of the lucky ones. My husband is a great cook - on the grill and inside. He likes to try new recipes and can make chocolate oatmeal cookies to die for. He also grocery shops and sometimes even cleans up his mess. I am happy to clean the dishes after a meal he prepares. He says when you are a family of 6 children and both parents work you learn to cook or starve.

my boyfriend can cook one dish. it's a great dish, and he makes it once a week. but the problem is, after living together for 6 months, he is still clueless about where things are in the kitchen, even if he's the one that put the dishes and groceries away. i have to be there to tell him where each pot is stored and where the garlic is in the fridge. so i sit at the kitchen table with some wine and watch my dear, absentminded fella proudly whip up his famous stir fry. makes for a nice meal.

Amber, couldn't resist. My ex would ask me to get something from the fridg and half the time I couldn't find it. This was because she never put things in the same places, ie would hide the wine behind the milk. I now can always find what I'm looking for as I have specific places for things and always put them there. <BR>

art, aah, maybe i should see if that's what the problem is. i figured it was him because he's legendary for forgetting things. i'll say to him after dinner, "honey, don't forget to put the condiments away in the fridge when you're done with them". he'll respond with "i won't". next morning, i'll find them all sitting out on the counter. he will also take milk out while looking for something in the back, and then forget to put it back in again. it's funny, but when i once gently suggested he might be a tad absentminded and forgetful, he bristled at the notion and demanded that i produce evidence. after about 15 minutes of stories and laughing on both sides, he was convinced.

My upcoming wedding will ensure my lifelong post in the kitchen. Beth's culinary skills take her as far as a mean root-beer float, all else is up to me. <BR> <BR>Not only do love cooking, I no longer allow her to participate in the process (she's very happy to oblige). In each of our homes, she has a seat within earshot of the cutting board where she enjoys her wine while I prepare dinner and we discuss the day's events. <BR> <BR>I thought for a while that men's role in the kitchen was generationally determined. To my knowledge, my father has never cooked a meal, largely because he has never had to as Mom rarely left the kitchen. However, as my peers (early 30s) get married and establish their roles in the home, in most cases, neither husband nor wife have any cooking skills. Most often, the wives struggle through store bought semi-prepared meals or they eat out. <BR> <BR>I have never considered boiling pasta and heating a jar of Ragu "cooking." Rarely do my friends buy raw meat that hasn't been pre-cleaned, pre-seasoned, and in most cases, completely prepared (heat & serve). Rarely do they buy raw produce except for salads or crudite; in most cases buying only the pre-cut pieces. <BR> <BR>I'm forever thankful to my mom for teaching me how to cook with flour, sugar, spices, fresh fruits, vegetables, meats, eggs and lots of butter. <BR> <BR>If my friends heard mention of chicken stock, they'd immediately consult nasdaq.com or Ameritrade. <BR> <BR>j.

Jon, <BR> <BR>You're a man after my own heart! <BR>And your fiance and I would get along perfectly!

Jon, <BR>If I give you my husbands email.... can you send him instructions???? lol.

My husband has been doing the majority of the cooking in our house for the past 4 years. (That's when I went back to work fulltime). He gets home about half an hour before me. Whenever he complains about it, I offer to cook, but he and the kids don't want to wait for me! It's become such a habit, he generally cooks on the weekends too...I guess I've actually cooked maybe 1 meal in the past 2 months! (Don't like to brag, but he also does the grocery shopping AND ironing!!!)

"chicken stock on NASDAQ"...hee hee! ;-) <BR> <BR>An "I can barely boil water" friend once ordered from a place here in London that will deliver all the necessary ingredients pre-measured, cut and cleaned and the recipes. She thought she was going to surprise hubby with a fabulous meal....well, when she went to turn her gas stove on for the pot for the potatoes, her recipe went up in flames!! Luckily, she extinguished the fire and frantically called the company who, after a fit of laughter, rushed over a new recipe. The husband is now taking cooking lessons to save his home!

I am one of the lucky ones. My Italian husband is an accomplished and inventive 'chef de cuisine'. I, the 'sous chef' slice, dice, puree, wash, dry and very best of all - get to eat what we make!! After 30 years of marriage our roles in the kitchen are set. It's a good thing he can cook - my pies are like door-stops and biscuits, well does hockey-puck say it all? We have guests often, and all our friends always ask "what's Mike making?' <BR>I'm a Lucky Woman!

Wow, what a response! Very interesting. I thought the comment re:the quality of British cooking was funny, but it occurs to me that the two men I know who were doing all the cooking even in the 70s were both Brits -- but their cooking reflected, shall we say, the glory of the Empire in that it tended strongly to the non-European. <BR> <BR>Now two questions -- how many of these male chefs do the weekday, day-in-day-out cooking for a family with kids? And I would love to know which posters are European and which American.

Hello All, Jon: what a good son you are! And your fiance is a lucky woman IMO. My husband and I love to watch Emeril and Mario cook, (we love the Food Channel) then go out to eat at a good restaurant...... Seriously however, we try to cook together on the weekends, and we love variations of Italian. He makes a mean "stuffed cabbage"! <BR>Amber and Art: I think sometimes it is a genetic trait in some families, that SOME men can't find anything, my son takes after his Dad? <BR>Dail: you are a lucky woman! <BR>Fun thread! Judy ;-)

J: <BR> <BR>My husband scares me to death when he is in the kitchen so I cook. He leaves dairy products including frozen ice cream out for "hours". I am a cleaning machine even after he boils a huge "pot" of water for our tea. I got us a new tea pot, but he does not "like" <BR>it. <BR>I do not cook ever day but I do make a lot of reservations! <BR> <BR>Oaktown

Not only does my wonderful husband cook most of the time -- he does the laundry, too. We've found the need to re-work the who-does-what stuff from time to time over the course of our life together. It's not worth the hassle NOT to do what makes the most sense at any given point in time. If you can read, you can follow a recipe. If you like good food, you can figure out how to make it! We just celebrated (and I mean CELEBRATED) our 25th anniversary.

Dear J. Child, <BR>My guy & I are American DINKS (double income, no kids). <BR>Bon Appetit & Save the Liver, <BR>Kathy

Judy, <BR> <BR>How funny. <BR> <BR>I Love to watch "Julia & Jacques", "Mexico — One Plate at a Time" with Rick Bayless, and other fun cooking shows!!! <BR> <BR>(And yes... then do the reservation thing....lol) <BR> <BR>It CAN be fun to cook together! <BR> <BR>I Do Especially enjoy the "hang-over-the-counter-with-a-glass-of-wine-and-great-conversation part of cooking... That's the best. <BR>(And really, it IS fun being with, and watching someone that really enjoys cooking!) <BR>To my credit, I CAN be pretty darn good at the chopping-and-cleaning-up-along-the-way part of cooking. <BR> <BR>Need be.

what is the fuss?? me and two of my very good friends cook all the time. especially in the winter, we pprepare a full multicourse indian feast from scratch. better than the restaurants i might add. also i do all the grilling outside all summer long. many men can and will cook especially if they like to eat. i refuse to eat frozen or prepared crap- i would just go ahead and make something where i control the sodium and fat content. mange bene

My husband, before we were married, cooked at all the boy scout jamborees he ever went on (dozens) but when we got married I decided I didn't like to share the kitchen too well (it's tiny!) So as a "trade-off" he does most of the grocery shopping and the laundry (both are chores I hate!) Thankfully, I love to cook and I am a very good cook so we have a wonderful life! :-)

Not sure what will be made of the "anecdotal data" you collect here. <BR> <BR>But I'm American, born and raised in America. Married in 1976 to first and only wife; three daughters 1980, 1892 and 1984. And as far as "weekday, day-in-day-out cooking for a family with kids" (weekends not much difference for us) - - I'm guessing that I do 15-20%, wife twice as much as me, kids half as much - - and increasingly (40%? 60%?), catch as catch can, or eat out. <BR>

When I met my husband, I told him that my father had done all the cooking in MY house, he said his father had done all the cooking in HIS house, and now, 24 years later, my husband still does most of the cooking in THIS house! <BR> <BR>My husband likes to remind people that the great chefs of the world are men. I have never argued with him!

"I thought the comment re:the quality of British cooking was funny." <BR> <BR>Yes, most amusing from a member of the culture that brought us McDonalds, Coca Cola and the stuffed crust pizza (yuk). In fact, you will find that many European commentators say that the best food in the UK is that produced by British women in their own homes.

Friday night's meal for SO and 2 of her lady friends: <BR> <BR>Zuppa Di Pesce <BR>Tagliatelle con Vongole <BR>Dolcetto Di Ricotta - Mario Bitali's recipe <BR>"Asti" for all <BR> <BR>That's what a guy can do w/a stove that might be connected to the fires of hell, a love of cooking (my Mom's gene) and a commerical fisherman for a friend. BTW, my four brothers do the same thing...and yes, we all have day jobs. <BR> <BR>Who cleaned up? Everyone:)