|
What Should Retrosexuals Wear this Season in Europe?
Being the ever dandy, rakish cad that I am, I was wondering what a sleek, but sturdy retrosexual should wear on a winter tour this year.
I'm having trouble deciding if pointed toe shoes are still in style and if I should leave my teal NFL windbreaker and aqua smoking jacket at home. I'm taking my black cape, but am open to other suggestions if they don't make me look fat or too short. Also, how can I get that heavenly orange glow some national Pols seem to be sporting these days? Is that painted on or is it a dye job gone bad? And is plucking your unibrow really only a metrosexual thing? I'm not sure if the guys at Porky's Gym might object to me using a pair of tweezers after my morning steambath. MK2 is proving packing and luggage tips, but I'd like cutting edge fashion advice from some "in the know" forum folks. |
Just don't forget your white trainers. :)
|
Unfortunately, I think the pointy toed shoe is in. As long as your cape is black, you will be fine.
Forgetabout the tweezer, get your brow waxed! m_k2 will no doubt provide you with more than you need to know about Not Looking Naff, but I do know that according to him, Do Not Band!! |
Is banding some sort of new fangled gridle device? Moma always said good foundation garments were important for women of all ages.
|
Just don't wear jeans for God's sake!
|
Banding: if you do wear jeans, <b>do not</b> wear them with a black shirt/top!
Or you will be expelled from the m_kingdom school of fashion~ |
Since "Freida"the Mexican artist has been discovered mainstream due to a rcent movie, feel free to wear the uni=brow, now adapted by hetero/homo/metro sexuals alike.
|
Oh please, Cigalechanta, NO unibrow! That's even worse than hairs coming out of old man's ears...sorry Degas if you have any of those.
|
Degas, has "it" women do not care about such trivial things, dln, when it comes to passion. He can flaunt his scarlet-lined cape and they will ensconse themselves underneath.
|
I trust your cape is short enough that you can still flaunt your plumber's cheeks.
|
he he clevelandbrown that is so funny!
Don't forget your fanny pack! No retro sexual would be complete without it! |
Not wear jeans and leave the white tennis shoes behind? Surely you jest!
I'll have you know that I am very strict on not letting the hair in my ears get out of control - one of my drinking buddies uses a weed-wacker on them every friday! And my black cape is long and roomy enough to provide sufficient cover in a doorway if the LW is gripped by a sudden pulse of white-hot passion and must "have her way" with me! |
Degas, if you get lucky with your Lovely Wife, then fluffykitty wants you to post about it. :S-
|
I can see it now, degas...getting drunk, weed-wacking each other's ear hair every Friday...Waking up in a drunken stupor missing one eyebrow because somebody missed the center with the wax...A few burnholes in the black cape that ordinarily appear in the aqua smoking jacket...Sounds like you guys put the "rave" in travel.
To para-quote Al Bundy, "It's not the black cape that makes you look fat, it's the fat that makes you look fat!" |
A jock strap with ruffles is required for formal occasions.
|
help, help, I am behind the times. What is banding and what are retrosexuals?
|
Pink jogging suits are de rigeur this year...as they have been among a certain set since Day One. You always can consult the fashionistas at Wal-Mart.
|
Wear your dirty tighty whities.
|
degas, I think only m_kingdom2 can provide the kind of nitwit fashionista advice required here. Surely he'll check in.
|
Degas, all the retrosexuals I know are raving about this year's gold lame' cumberbunds. I think one of these with a matching bowtie would look faaabulous.
|
I know this is all in fun, but could I seriously suggest that you avoid the nose rings, pierced eyebrows, and Mohawk haircut?
|
Take a tip from the answer I gave to Vegassurfer about paying the parking ticket in Siena...
"Mirror, mirror, on the wall...who am the most retrosexual one of all...?" ...and as the "Fab Five" suddenly appear and answer you back that we have become a totally moral country now and you have a lot to live up to... |
If you're going to wear pointy-toed shoes AND a cape, surely you must stop in London for some dentistry as well.
|
I actually bought my hubby a black cape (opera cape) to wear to the Wexford Opera Festival. On the way from the theatre to the pub the first night, he was advised by the local youths to 'watch out for guys with pointy sticks' :-) Thankfully he had no such trouble so I hope you don't either (perhaps best not visit Transylvania, though).
|
Now that I finaly got the meaning of the term "metrosexual", I am completely at loss, what the heck a "retrosexual" is!
Please explain! |
|
This is the Retrosexual code that we live by:
No matter what the women insists, WE PAY FOR THE DATE. We open doors for a lady. Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female. We eat red meat, and often kill it ourseleves. We don't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, we salute you. We don't use more hair or skin products than a woman. We don't dress in trendy clothes or page through goofy magazines looking for expensive stuff to buy. We don't plan vacations around shopping. We know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "dealing with hard stuff" portion of The Code. We don't watch no TV show with "Queer" in the title. We don't let neighbors mess up rooms in our houses on national TV. We don't don't act like a foppish froo-froo for no gal, no matter how hot. We will have at least one outfit in our wardrobe designed to conceal ourselves from natrual prey. We know how to tie a windsor knot We will not strip naked, get into a sweat lodge, and bang on drums to bond with other guys. We should have at least one good wound we can brag about getting. |
>We know how to tie a windsor knot<
Just how many of us know how? |
My dear, every gentleman should know how to tie a windsor/half-windsor knot, and also a bowtie.
Men should never have a mono-brow, they should pluck eyebrows for a natural shape, but not like a girl's. As for that "rakish cad", degas, well dear I somehow think you're beyond help for your crimes against fashion. |
Degas, Interesting list. Are there any of your fellowmen left?
But more importantly, you've done some detail digging into some interesting areas. What (note: I didn't ask WHEN so your privacy is still protected) are your travel plans for the coming year? |
Grasshopper, I drop off the "persons of interest" watchlist maintained by the French and Italian border police and fashion defenders in April 05. So the may/jun timeframe should be interesting.
|
Interesting. What about all your London digging? In the meantime, we'll always welcome you in SF.
|
Grasshopper, I have been fortunate enough to be able to stop in London about 6 times a year as part of business trips to the Middle East. Therefore, I am always interested in discovering new things to do and see in that great city.
Rome and Umbria are on my short-list now and I always try to visit Paris on any extended personal vacation trip to Europe. The LW have fond memories of SF and will stop by again when my son gets married in Hawaii. 2005 date TBD. I'm just glad somebody else pays for most of my travel and the FF miles keep piling up! |
Degas-Love this thread. I really needed a good laugh this morning. Whatever you do, don't stop giving us your WONDERFUL fashion tips. :-D
|
I'm always learning something on Fodor's. Now I know what a retrosexual is and am happy to say I am married to one without a monobrow. Although, I do wonder why God can allow so much hair to grow out of one's ear. (Bring on the weed-whacker!)
You might add an umbrella to your packing list so you can protect your lovely wife from raindrops. Look for a stylish one to accesorize your cape. Now, I was wondering about retrosexuals and lime green leisure suit... someone please educate me!!! -Sharon |
How is it possible that your trusty pair of velcro gym shoes has yet to be mentioned?
|
Degas
so true about someone else paying for the travel and you getting the FF mile credit...I am still living well off miles accumulated over years of travel, even though for the last 5-6 I have done hardly any business travel. Many great free trips for wife and I with those miles (of course I spent loads of time on road and away from home to get them - but now we are reaping the rewards). |
oh oh slap me silly it should have read "for wife and me".....so sorry please forgive me.
|
My inital attempts at a wax job on my manly eyebrow proved to be an utter disaster.
I went around the cabin and rounded up a bunch of old candles and melted them down in a pot over my outdoor fire pit (my indoor pit was being used by the LW to cook some rabbits for supper). Then I drank a gallon or so of my old family recipe to get mellow and build courage for what lay ahead. Little did I know what stark, mind-numbing horror was in story for me. Then Lester and Billie Bob showed up and we got to drinking and playing grab-butt and before you know it they dared me to also wax my back, chest and some other sensitive parts I've not seen since my waistline expanded past 50 inches. I should have tossed a frog in the pot to check the temperature, but no, I was careless, and paid a dear price when Lester pored the vat of bubbling wax over my broad, powerful back. Good lord, when that sizzling goo landed, I screamed so darn loud people in five counties took to the tornado shelters! My hide is sure blistered something terrible. |
then there no question degas..cycling tights and a cape with white trainers...nothin else gotta show em that manly chest!!
|
| All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:09 PM. |