What about those left behind?
 

I'm not sure this is the right forum for this, but I figure it's worth asking. I'm going to Europe for 3 weeks w/ my older daughter and leaving the younger (age 8) behind. She is very very attached to me. Any ideas on making the separation less painful? I think phoning is very expensive, is it not?

Barbara

No, phoning is not expensive.

I haven't done this, but a laptop, an Internet connection and Skype could be very cheap, if your hotel has reasonably priced Internet access.

Otherwise, I use these low-tech options. I go to a corner grocery store wherever I am in Europe and purchase a phone card for 5 or 10 Euros. I then phone home using it. The price typically varies from about 5 Euro cents per minute to 50, depending how good the card is and the country in question. Many Internet cafes have a service where you can make long-distance calls for a cheap price from booths.

You can get a cheap home long-distance plan before you go, or get phone cards at home, and have your daughter phone you at your hotel (just not when you're sleeping!). This will cost pennies per minute.

Phoning home can be expensive but it doesn't have to be. I travel with an AT&T phone card that I got at Walmart. It is good for domestic long distance calls and international call. I've never paid close attention to how much it costs to call the US from Europe using the card. Other's here may be able to give you the specifics.

I don't know how computer literate you or your 8 year old daughter is but email or a blog may be another way to keep in touch. Bloggerdotcom allows you to sign up for an account and post your blogs. I also know that there are sites devoted just to travel blogging.

My wife and I took our oldest son to Boston several years ago. Our youngest son was only 5 and we thought he was too young. He still wants to know why he didn't get to go. He is 24 now. You can't please everyone!

I stay in touch with my husband using a public phone. Nothing beats hearing the voice.

Calling from Switzerland, I got a phone card... I think it was 20 swiss franks - it was maybe $16 then? Anyway, I remember the phone calls being cheap and I haven't used the whole card.

Also, e-mails can help. And send her post cards as often as you can in addition to everything.

And of course, ask her what gifts she wants you to get for her.

I call home every day and somtimes twice a day. Last September while I was in Munich, my husband called the hotel for me while I was out. When I came back the desk clerk told me that he had called and it was not an emergency, but I needed to call him. She actually called the US right then and there from her phone. He couldn't find the syrup.

I often travel to Europe with my older daughter leaving the younger one home with her father/my husband. She is now 17 but I've been doing this for 7 years, so she was only 10 when I started. She actually likes having Daddy to herself - no sister, no mother to get in the way of undivided attention. They go out to eat alot, etc.

Calling home is not at all expensive if you do it right. I have a guad band unlocked cell phone (there are about a thousand threads on the subject, just do a search) - if you buy a SIM card in the country you are in , all incoming calls are free. The cost to your home phone will vary depending on your phone service. We have Comcast and it's 9 cents a minute. The SIM cards are about 10-20 euro, depends on the country. If you are going to several countries (or plan to travel alot) get a United Mobile SIM card, good in most of Europe - incoming calls are free. Outgoing calls are not terribly expensive, but definitly cheaper if they call you. You can always call them and have them call you back.

If she has email, that's also good. Many hotels now have free internet access, you don't need to lug your computer. There are also internet cafes everywhere, but that's almost as expensive as calling.

From Switzerland, phoning home was cheaper than e-mail. A 5-franc phone card lasted a long time. But I believe you are going to Germany? I'm not sure about the phone cards there; hopefully someone can explain. In any case, I believe the phone card/public phone route is less expensive than the prepaid "international" cards you buy in the US.

Whatever you do, don't call from your hotel room phone. Many hotels add on outrageous charges to access the operator for use of your phone card. (My husband, not knowing this, spent an extra $30 on one call from our room!)

Pick a good time to call, and make "appointments". For example, if you call at 6 pm in Germany, it would be 9 am in California (I'm assuming from your name tht is where you live). Would that be a good time for your daughter? Or would she prefer a call at her bedtime (that might mean you gettin gup very early, so be careful what you promise).

I'd also suggest you remove some of the unknown. Make a "kit" for her, including a map that clearly marks where you'll be. Provide some pictures of where you will be. Maybe even pictures of the hotels you'll be staying in. Provide her an itinerary of all your planned activities. There should be something comforting for her to know where you are and not just "gone".

i had little gifts behind for them at different stages. also did not call much.. some kids cry more when they hear the voice of mommy and it all starts all over again.

also sent postcards. (these were the old days. no internet).

somehow keeping her busy and having her also write a journal about what she thinks you are doing every place ad how she feels.

leave her enough info that she can follow your trip and turn it into something educational.

she could watch a travel dvd the days you are in paris.. for example. one on rome that week.. etc. etc.

that way she can decide where she wants to go most when she is old enough to travel with you on such an extended trip.

i wouldn´t worry about communicating too horribly much by phone.. just enough to keep you happy.

i don´t know who this is going to be harder for, but kids usually do a lot better than we imagine they will.

When I first started traveling, my only daughter was young as well. Before I left, I would write her letters with stickers or some such inside, I would write one for each day I would be gone and entrust them with a neighbor to mail daily! They would list the things I admire in her, things she could do to help her Dad survive, photos of the animals,whatever. I usually included a gift card for her favorite restaurant she and her Dad could enjoy while I was gone and she could "pay" with the card. I still called daily but the letters are what she remembers most and are still saved in a box by her.

Great idea from NeoPatrick. Have her track your progress on a map. Give her pictures (in advance) of the places you will be (castles, etc). and have her put them in a scrapbook as you go to each place.

And call her every day.

Scatcat, your post reminds me... We have 2 boys, they were 16 and 10 then, we left them for a week or so giving the hotel name and phone number.

One day, there was a message from the younger one: Mom, call me. Alarmed, I dialed. Turned out, he found a box of chocolates in the apartment, and wanted to confirm he won't get in trouble for opening it :)

We've gone on a number of trips, leaving either one or both of the kids at home. On the last trip, we did email. It worked ok, except that I wrote long, detailed emails, and they wrote back "We went to the park" and the like.

Are you leaving her with plenty of fun activities to do, with whomever is taking care of her? On our next trip, our 8yo daughter is staying with my parents. Between my daughter and my mother, they will be doing so many fun things that I don't think they'll sleep!

Hi Mom,

Back in the days when long distance calls were expensive, I left my kids with a map of my itinerary, and a tape recorder with their mother.

I made a tape of "the day's events" for each part of my trip.

Each night, their mother played them a part of the tape.

They were much happier than actually talking with me. :)

((I))

All the suggestions here are excellent. Not to be a downer, but do remember that 3 weeks in the life of an 8-year-old is a very long time, so anything you can do to ensure that <i>her</i> time is filled with special activities would be helpful.

(I have never forgotten the ache I, as a 10-year-old, felt when my mother took a summer trip to Japan -- she left us with my absent-minded, non-domestic Dad and a flaky but fun babysitter. I missed her so enormously, I can still conjure up that feeling in my stomach! But having fun stuff to do with my sibs and friends did help.)

Faina, your teenage son called you to make sure it was OK to open a box of chocolates he found? Either your son is seriously impaired or you have done one helluva job raising him.

Whoa! So many excellent ideas. Thank you Thank you!

How about making a game of sorts with Neo's map suggestion?

Set up before you leave a series of puzzle clues - she has to figure out each puzzle to find the clue that leads to the next step. You could set up the puzzles to relate to your trip.

Set up the puzzles so they are easy for her to solve so she doesn't get stumped. Put time frames in the puzzles (like &quot;this Friday, go to the broom closet to find your next clue&quot;) and at the end of each week, include a little trinket. For the last clue, make it something like &quot;Inside Mom's blue jacket, you will find a big surprise&quot;. Make sure the hiding place is something that you are taking with you on the trip (so she has to wait for you to get home) - and the treasure will be a special gift from your Europe.

If you have access to the internet regularly during your trip, you can email her the clues. Otherwise, work with someone at home to plant them in the appropriate places at the appropriate times.

I did this for my nieces' first overnight stay. They loved racing around trying to solve the puzzles and finding the little trinkets, and it helped them not get homesick.

I have a similar situation, but I am leaving 2 daughters home with dad (aged 9 and 11) while I go to Europe for 3 weeks with their 13yo sister. The 9yo is going to a church day camp one week of the trip and to sleep-over camp another week of the trip. That only leaves her home for one week with dad and sister.

The 11yo doesn't want to go to camp and plans to go out on the boat with dad and perfect her skiing--dad is self-employed and can do this luckily. My father (grandpa) is also talking about taking one or both of them (depending on the camp schedule for the 9yo) to the beach for a few days during my Europe trip and there is also the possibility of a night or two with her other set of grandparents and/or their aunt while I'm gone.

So long as my younger 2 have a TV set and the internet for webkins to play, they probably won't notice I'm gone! LOL Of course, I've also prepped them the past few summers by going on professional development trips for a week or two (teacher) and leaving all of them home with dad. This is the first trip that I've taken any of them with me.

In most places, using the prepaid telephone cards is much, much cheaper than calling from your hotels or on your mobile.

Another thing I do when travelling sans kids for business is old-fashioned, low-tech postcards. 3 weeks are long enough so that your younger daughter can start receiving some of them when you're still on the road.

My kids also ask for one present for every country (eg panda doll from China, kimono barbie from Japan etc).

I'm afraid taking lots of pictures with your older daughter may be counter-productive, if the younger daughter gets jealous to see her Big Sis enjoying fun things with Mom...

Also make sure you spend some time exclusively with the younger one after you return. Enjoy your trip.