We need to elect designated "nay-sayers"
 

We all know that there are constant new threads about "Can I do this in X number of days"?

Instead of all of us wasting our valuable electronic ink, we need to elect the most abrasive, yet knowledgeable people to do a standardized "You gotta be kidding me" response.

Who wants to volunteer and name the countries-cities-regions you wish to be the Supreme Voice for? We will all acknowledge the elected Poo-bah's prowess and supreme power to guide, insult, ignore and/or approve said answer to said idiotic questions.

We should also jointly develop a standardized response to said idiotic questions, where the Supreme Regional Poo-bah only has to insert the requested names and/or dates.

dave

:-)

Are you kidding me?

There must be close to a dozen self-appointed, insulting, swaggering Travel Mommies and your least favorite Uncle Braggart who hand around Fodor's pouncing on every naive itinerary just to hoot and holler and call in the crowd to pile on, and slap each other on the back guffawing.

I'm sure all the jerks will soon stampede in to take up your offer.

The real question is: Have they ever got anything else to offer but their their bus-tour ideas for travel?

I don't think so.

Sorry you feel a need to be one of them.

I don't, and I think they've cost a lot of travelers a lot of money and joy.

I believe these positions are already filled :-)

with respect, zeppole, I just checked the most recent "if it's tuesday it must be amsterdam" thread, and found that you too had chimed in, though to be fair, you were not as vociferous as some.

and I can't agree that the "nay-sayers" have cost a lot of travellers a lot of money and joy. on the contrary, if they follow the usually sound and virtually always well-meant well-meant advice, they should save money and have a lot more fun. apart from anything else, moving around constantly is expensive - fares/fuel, hotels rather than apartments, meals out all the time.

but you do make a good point in that sometimes, the nay-sayers do have fun at the OP's expense.

after all, they're only human.

I chuckled at Dave's OP. Its a sort of travel UN and we could have an alphabetical rotating chair.

Thing to remember is that these posters do ask, so you cant really complain when people answer honestly, even if it is a little abrasive.

Well, I've done the standard dialogue already and used it on another thread. It requires only one word substitution to turn it into a location-specific piece of travel advice, and I expect profound thanks from all -- I've saved you heaps of time.

The dialogue runs like this:
I’m thinking of a holiday at pick-a-place. Is hotel XXX any good? Can I get a bus from the airport? What sort of food do they eat there?

Yep, you can get a bus.

The national dish of pick-a-place is deep fried albatross.

The bus runs every ten minutes.

It’s not deep fried albatross, it’s baked albatross, with traditional herbs.

The bus is way below my price point. I use the helicopter transfer. And I’d not be seen dead at pick-a-place anyway.

Albatross tasted like chicken to me, or maybe it was polenta.

I found that the people on the helicopter were all wearing Crocs. The Hummer limo was better for me.

I ordered the albatross, and I think they served seagull

Limo-schimo. I use the private helicopter. Roberto drives it.

That was not seagull, they only serve juvenile albatross. If you can’t tell the difference, then you should stick to polenta.

I’ve given up on the helicopter – I maintain a steam launch and crew to transport me to my hotel.

I like Hotel XXX – good staff.

I found a hair in the bathtub at Hotel XXX. Complained, negotiations continuing.

There’s no way that the previous poster at 3:00 AM GMT maintains a steam launch. Pick-a-place is in a desert.

I found a dead body in the bathtub at Hotel YYY. It’s with my lawyers – hotel would not change my room, so I could not take a bath. Had to use the shower stall.

Pick-a-place might be in a desert, but before I arrive they flood the irrigation canals, to float my boat.

I found a dead elephant in the jacuzzi when I rented the penthouse at pick-a-place. Issue is with the United Nations

I’d never take a vacation at pick-a-place.

I’d never take a vacation anywhere.

I take vacations fifty five weeks a year.

I get paid to take vacations.

Getting paid to take vacations is so tacky – I take vacations for free.

I donate my vacations to the poor people of Colombia.

There are no poor people in Colombia – they are all drug barons.

Christopher Colombia discovered America.

Snork! Very amusing. My only critique is that you have been far too polite. Not a 'numpty' to be seen from start to finish!

What we really need is a post that gets kept at the top of the list all the time that says things like: every time you change locations you lose at least half a day, and maybe a whole day: you cannot see all the must-sees in (City) in one day: (Country) is not a theme park: etc.

I'm sure there are other things that need to be said over and over. Aside from ttt-ing such a thread endlessly, I don't know how you can reach the newbies. It should be permanently posted at the top and should be titled: NEWBIES!! READ THIS BEFORE POSTING11 (Yes, shouting)

Sometimes you can't impart experience...it has to be learned.
I hope our friend going on her honeymoon posts a trip report - to either rebut (refudiate?) or praise the responders

That being said...because I would not do a trip a certain way, does not mean the SHE might not enjoy it highly.

How does one distinguish between a "hign energy" trip and a "deluded" trip?

I don't believe in following anyone's itinerary/
Read a travel book and select where, what you want to see.
Your personal travel and experiences will be much more rewarding.

A high energy trip is physically possible - even if not the way many of us would choose to travel.

A deluded trip is one in which the OP has not checked out train schedules, thinks you can "see" a city in 2 hours, and takes no account at all of the basic facts of life (a plane may land late, there may be a train delay - or horrors a strike, and you cannot get to an island without taking a boat or a plane).

My favorite is the itineraries that count each day 3 or even 4 times.

Day 1 - a sightseeing day when you wake up there
Day 2 - a travel day when you're going from one place to another
Day 3 - a sightseeing day when you arrive there after the journey
Day 4 - when you leave you luggage in the train station and see a third city in the 2 hours between trains

Now, this may be possible (but silly) if the entire trip is 2 hours, but I;'ve seen this when the rail journey was 7 or 8 hours or more

I've never understood if the poster is doing this deliberately - or actually thinks these are different days

Wow...I am a little offended by this. I am sure that you guys get a lot of the same questions. I am also sure that you get tired of answering the same questions over and over. I have an idea--instead of being Royal you-know-what's why don't you just not answer at all?? Y get involved in someone's post or answer their question if it bothers you so? I had no idea. I thought this was a place for travelers to come and get questions answered. I'm sure that there are ppl that would gladly answer questions w/o so much complaining. Now that I have seen this, I suppose I will not be asking anymore questions about my trip. Thank you for the input so far, but I would hate to waste anymore electronic ink on any idiotic questions I may have. I must be mistaken... i didn't know that everyone, everywhere has been and will go back to Europe 40 times in their lives. I am very impressed and happy for those of you that travel Europe frequently, but some of us do not live in Europe and get to see it that often. I'm saddened by this post/comment. I enjoyed asking questions and getting back advice. I guess more times than not you're on your own. Glad I saw this before I got mocked or ridiculed publicly. Depressing i must say.

tds0212, I hope this hasn't put you off about asking questions. I cannot speak for anyone except myself but my impression is that people are weary of posters asking questions w/o having done any homework themselves. It's important to get a good guide book and a good map of the country or city you want to visit, read it, and then ask questions. And also to use the Search function on this site.

Often new posters will ask about the "best" restaurant or hotel in Paris, the best village in Provence, and so on, as though the trip must be "ideal" and therefore depends upon getting "the best", whatever that means to each individual. How bad can "good" be? Must it be "the best"? It really doesn't have to do with how many times one has been to Europe or wherever, but, IMO, it's the spirit in which he/she is seeking knowledge and how much he/she is willing to do for him/herself.

And we all answer according to our values and preferences: eg, for me a 3 or 4 day first trip to Paris would not include Versailles or Giverny or any place outside the city, but for someone who has dreamed of going there since forever, that's the thing to do.

I haven't read any of your other posts, and I'm just responding to the one above.

'Nuff said; probably too much!

Don't despair tds0212, I joined fodor's about 3 years ago as I began traveling overseas again after many years of domestic vacations as we raised our kids, and I have received so much wonderful advice, information and sometimes cranky admonishments. I enjoy all the personalities that love to give advice, talk about their travels and share information about life off the tourist track. It has really enriched our vacations for the last 3 years and I don't think our travels would have been as interesting or as enjoyable without all the wonderful, sometimes discordant voices from Fodor's message boards.

I wish someone had told me how hot it is Athens. I sure don't need this coat.

And we found the Acropolis if anyone needs directions.

PS we are finding out that teenagers like to sleep in. I figure the mornings on this trip are costing us $8k to see zero sites. How come nobody told us this would happen?

Maybe we can get special dispensation for Fodor's for which we can use the following:

"What are you effing nuts?"

If that fails, we can always say, "Sounds like a great trip, but you should add Johnannesburg."

________________________

Cold-

Look at this way. When they are sleeping, they are not telling you how bored they are.

tds0212, don't be put off by this - it is meant as fun (I hope).

It is so much nicer to help people who have done some of their own research first though, not just seemingly booked a flight to a random European destination, with no idea what there is to do there, and who then expect others to do their research for them.

(What a long sentence! I'm sure I could have formulated that better, sorry!)

I greatly enjoy the posts that say "I'm leaving for Europe next Tuesday, what do not miss things should I take in?"
And equally as much the helpful posters who manage to critique everything about someone's question including spelling, language, their choice of arrival cities and do they hate their mother, but never answer even one thing.