Hi lucky03. I love traveling with my husband but we usually squabble because I get very cranky when I'm over-tired. I need more little time out periods-- he can just go and go! We have decided to do this-- when I am feeling exhausted and frayed, He'll leave me at the hotel so I can rest a bit and he'll come and fetch again in an hour or so. So far it's working! We take turns over what to do and see next also. I remember having a complete meltdown in a London tube [not a loud one] because I just couldn't do another thing -- was totally exhausted, and he wanted to go to Madame Toussau's Wax Museum. We left, had a great meal,and went the next day.Ahh, happy endings!

Oh dear readers. As many of you know I lost my DH some years back.

We worked together everyday in our business but would go hours without seeing each other. I in my office and he is his. When he was not I would ask his secretary when he would be back. So common interest for sure but also not tied to the hip so to speak.

Vacations - oh yes, I was the TA. Always. And it worked. We enjoyed the same things. The same places and felt the need to take the vacation that was needed at the time. February, totally worn out. "Let's go to Mexico" he would say. So I would make all the plans.

A few years without a decent long vacation "lets go to Italy" he would say, so I would make the plans. Although we did not make day to day plans as so many here do. We sort of winged it which was delightful.

Anyway, you get the jist.

And we alway seemed to be in sync with what we wanted to do. Stay a day longer here. Leave a day early then planned from somewhere else. Sit and have a cold drink and people watch. A day for culture, a day to walk and shop etc. Always seemed perfect.

Except, the day we went into the Gucci store in Rome. For some reason he hated Gucci (something in the genes perhaps). I mean hated Gucci. All I wanted to do was pick up some presents for love ones back home. This fine gentleman husband of mine started to find fault with everything I looked at.
A clerk came to help us (the poor dear). Nothing would work. And it was a hot and humid late June day. And no a/c to notice in the store. DH got crabbier and crabbier and the charming Italian clerk could not help the situation (and usually an Italian woman could melt his heart). I finally said "I am leaving". And we did. I was soooooo mad. I went my way and he went to the hotel. When I returned he had evidently showered again and had made reservations at a restaurant that was fantastic. A beautiful evening after a really rotten afternoon.

The only time on a trip I really thought about murdering him (being silly of course) or what - I did not know but I was so MAD.

We never discussed it. And truly did have a wonderful evening. After our dinner walked up the ViaVenento and sat at an outdoor cafe and spent what seemed like hours talking to others from all over the world.

But what was it about the Gucci store or Gucci period. He always glared at the Gucci store in SF.

Isn't marriage wonderful?

I do all the planning. He simply shows up. I mention things to him that I would like to do but am always on the look out for things that may interest him. I ask him and he says yes or no. My husband is very easy going, that helps alot. I shower first because I take longer to get ready since we have to share a bathroom on vacation.

I would rather vacation with him than anyone else.

We spent 16 days camping all over Italy together last year with all of our gear in a tiny little car in the dead heat of summer. We got along just fine.

It certainly helps that I love him more than life itself. :)

After a year and a half of seriously dating and spending weekends over, we decided to go on a 21day trip to Italy. When we came back we decided to move in together :) Yes, the trip went that well!

This summer we did a US National Park trip - three weeks, 4,000 miles driven with an 11yr old in the car. It still went without a hitch. Well, maybe just one: I did want to go into the LDS Temple tour in Salt Lake City and he just refused; something very similar to Loveitaly's Gucci experience followed...the evening still turned out fine after the wrath had passed :)

We decide where to go, I plan and navigate and he drives. We travel well together-abroad and through life.

My DH has never even looked at a travel website... although he will sometimes tolerate me reading a particularly entertaining post from Miss Scarlett, Patrick, Rex or some of the others!

He has never planned a trip in his life!I even do his travel for his "guy trips" to Spring Training or to NCAA Playoffs. I usually tell him where we are going and he has always agreed so far... guess I'm lucky!

Well! Now I don't feel so bad about always being the travel planner! And since I'm a control freak, I should probably count my blessings. Plus, the DH never second-guesses or criticizes my arrangements.

We're heading towards our 40th year of marriage (December)and a few more years on top of that. And have always gotten along very well when travelling. Not that the air can't get just a tad icy once in a while (mostly on a car trip).

Have a "trip-of-a-lifetime" coming up in August: Boston/London/12-day Silverseas cruise back to Boston" and just the anticipation has been a terrific antidote to the long winter around here.

It will call for a little 'adjusting' to our travel ways, however, as DH doesn't have quite the stamina he once did, and I will need to figure ways for us to split up a bit more often, so he can do his thing (take it easy) and I can hustle-bustle as I'm wont to do.

But marrying a good travel partner is one of the most important decisions in life!

I can't remember enjoying a thread this much! We've been married for 15 years and have traveled to Europe about 6 times together: our next trip is 3 weeks in France in September.

I'm more of a type A person than he is: I do all the scheduling of flights and places to stay. Once we're there, we have the same interests and have a similar pace. Our biggest arguments have been about driving. I laughed loudly when reading about the Ireland "shoulder indentation" stories. I was the same way whenever he drove, and low and behold, he actually did drive us into a ditch one day at sunset on a lonely road! We blew a tire and had the great luck to knock on the door of a very nice couple who took pity on us. The jack that came with the rental car did not even work properly, but the nice guy rummaged around in his garage and found one that worked. I had to stuff down the "told you so's" for the rest of the trip, or at least until I proceeded to break off the car's side mirror in a game of chicken on a narrow street with another car. Then it was his turn to sit and smile smugly!

We do not rent cars any longer, and have also found that getting apartments is a big stress reducer. You have so much more room to put your stuff and just to lie around in, not to mention being able to eat in when you're too exhausted to dine out. We have a lovely apartment picked out in Paris that has 2 terraces and I'm so excited!

Dear LoveItaly, Your posting was beautiful. Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss, however long ago, of your husband. He must have been a wonderful partner.

My husband and I get along very, very well, and have been happily married for 35 years. At home, he makes breakfast, I make dinner; we take walks together every morning and evening. We are best friends and truly enjoy each other's company.

But MAN, on vacation, sometimes we get really snippy with each other. It's usually when we have been in cities too long and seen so many churches and museums that they begin to blur - or we're on a schedule. Than we just need to take a break. The only things that seem to work are taking a good long nap, going to a garden and relaxing, having some food, or just sitting and reading in our room.

And I try to do an "attitude adjustment" because (tho I hate to admit it) it's usually me that gets cranky.

There are two things you should do with any "possible" spouse, partner, etc.:

play cards with them and travel with them.

I'm starting to wonder if it's a "guy" thing to leave the travel plans to the female 1/2 of the relationship! Although DH does participate a bit more than some. We generally decide on the country or locale together, I work out the itinerary, book the tickets, do all the research on Fodor's etc., get the accommodations down to two or three choices and then he gets to vote on which one he likes best (although he usually just says, "whatever you pick will be fine."), we both pore through the travel books to see what there is to see in our chosen locale, and then (except for buying train passes, booking car rentals etc.) we leave it up to the fates as to what we see. We generally each pick a few "gotta see this no matter what" and leave the rest to chance and what we feel like once we get there.

I did learn one thing early on in our travelling together (we've been together 15 years, married for 12) -- even if you think you won't be spending much time in the hotel room, book a nice one anyway (at least as nice as you can afford). I made the mistake one time of booking a large but ugly room in an outlying suberb of Boston b/c we were trying to save money, and we figured we'd only be in there to sleep anyway so what was the big deal. Weeeell....super-klutz here tore a bunch of tendons in her right ankle our second night on the vacation and we wound up spending more time in that room than I expected -- after the trip to the emergency room. Our walking tour of Boston turned into a wheelchair, crutches, taxi and hop-on-hop-off bus tour (or as I called it, the "hobble-on-hobble-off" bus tour)! The first couple days after I took my fall I spent alot of time icing the foot, watching and resting while my wonderfully patient DH did a little sightseeing (in between getting me pain killers and some bicycle gloves to pad my hands against the crutches). It would've been a little more pleasant if we'd been in a hotel that had a more attractive room, had room service or a restaurant and was closer to the "action" (we were depending on being able to take the subway and buses to get to the "action"), but the employees were absolutely wonderful --their shuttle driver even took me to the emergency room for free. while normally they charge for non-standard stops; and we were within hobbling distance of the ice machine.

The second week we had booked a rental car and a room at a b&b in another part of Massachusetts so it was a little easier to get around and the room was prettier (no tv though). DH did a great job of pushing me around Sturbridge Village in a wheelchair (not easy to do in the mud after a good rain, bless his heart).

We do sometimes get a little snippy with each other (usually when I get hungry -- I'm a total witch when my blood sugar gets too low -- or when he gets tired) -- we call it our "snapping turtles" routine -- but we don't dwell on it and we're usually able to laugh about it later....much later sometimes...

I think two things that really help on a long trip (more than 10 days) are to make sure that for at least some of the time you have a decent size space to hang out in (ie not a very cramped hotel room) and cooking facilities. Also, take a day off sightseeing, or at least a very easy day, at least once a week. Stress, overload and exhaustion are the surest way to make people grumpy.

Well, I may say something that contradicts what has been said about not getting a "small place". We''ve had a small rv for years. Selling it now, sigh! but let me tell you it is small.

We go cross-country trips, never ever stay in hotels and we do fine. Very few arguments, spats, what have you. The minute we get home, we find something to disagree on..Very funny! maybe we are just being careful.

loisco, interesting comment as when we had our 28foot boat we never had an argument either. Maybe a small space does tend to make spouses more careful about being as polite as they would be to outsiders?

And Iwan2go, thank you for your very kind thoughts. We sure did have a beautiful life together and I am grateful for all the vacations and get away weekends we had. Just still do not know why he hated Gucci's so much. It still makes me shake my head. In fact I always chuckle to myself everytime I see their name.

But I think that it is impossible to be married and not have a problem from time to time. And travelling can be tiring occassionally, no matter how wonderful the trip is.

Lucky03, I think the secret to not getting on each nerves while travelling is to take a break from each other now and then. Let your spouse know that if they want some free time (be it a walk or a nap or whatever) that it is fine with you.

I think the day my DH and I got so upset at each other (at Gucci's) was because it was a very hot and humid day and Rome seemed extremely crowded.

I wanted to do the shopping for gifts for family at home and I am sure he was tired and exhausted as we had been walking and sightseeing all over Rome for several days. I should have suggested that I do some shopping and that maybe he would like some down time. That no doubt would have been a good idea.

So my suggestion is if you are feeling irritated or feel like your spouse is to just somehow work out a way that you each have some time alone.

Happy travels to everyone!