OliveOyl, apparently that particular discussion made it all the way across to Ireland. Particularly sorry about the elbow shaped indentation on your door panel. I can imagine he surely must have used my old stand by - "what are you talking about? I was miiiiles away from that wall"

My spouse and I get along pretty well on trips. We talk about what we really want to do on the trip, and accommodate each other's must-see's.

And, over the years we have learned what sort of situations stress out and try to avoid those. For instance, driving in large European cities is on our "don't ever do" list. There's no surer way to put us at each other's throats :-)

We travel with our parents as well, and everything that applies to spouses applies double for in-laws. 1) Be honest about what is important to you on the trip 2) Avoid high-stress situations whenever possible 3) Don't feel like you have to spend every minute together. 4) Pack plenty of patience, you'll need it. 5) Remember that this is your family and enjoy your time together.

Dlemma, that's a new one for discussion! How do we travel with our spouses AND in-laws or parents.

Personally, my DH and I travel great with both sets of parents, and particularly have a blast with his.

We both feel very fortunate that we all get along like one big, happy family.

I travel with my DH sometimes, mostly here in the States.. We had 2 major trips together a couple of years ago, in 2000 we went to Europe together, which is rare, and the year after we took a grand tour to Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Santa Fe etc..,... I love the man dearly, but to be honest when I go to Europe I enjoy more to travel with my son, or daughter or my preteens grandchildren..I am a go go person and like to be out exploring the city from morning till night,in the other hand DH likes better taking it easy,and get bored easily, also he dont like waiting in line, something that is necessary at times, especially when we go to the museums or other attractions.. DH enjoy travelling but is not anymore a big deal for him. When he was in the Air Force, he was flying often in different countries in the world and now, that he retired is happy to take it easy.and enjoy to be home. Luckly he understand my passion for travel and does not mind my going to Europe without him, thanks Heaven for that...

So interesting. My spouse is a control freak. I make all the research, arrangements, guide book reading, etc. He says: It's up to you, you be my guide. But then, once we arrive at our destination, CF takes over. We discuss the night before the plans for following day. I'm spontaneous, he's rather rigid. My survival technique is to take some time off from each other and then share our experiences. On the way home I say to myself: I'll never travel with that man again... But I've been doing this for 22 years! We're much more compatible at home. I'm not about to trade him for a new model, have too much invested in the relationship. Besides, he makes me laugh on a daily basis.

Since my boyfriend and I don't live together, it can be a bit of a strain sharing a room and bathroom when travelling. Our solution is two rooms, or at least a two-bedroom unit. We get along incredibly well when we don't have to "live" with each other's habits/sleep patterns/idiosyncrasies.
We also, after 13 years together, know each other's triggers and stressors - he reminds me to nibble on something when my blood sugar drops and I get a bit wierd, and I remind him to chill out and unclench his jaw when we are in the flying stage of the vacation. I am the navigator/map reader/if-I've-been-here-once-I-can-find-my-way-again one, he's more the suggester-of-things-to-do. We discuss sightseeing and activity plans, and manage to compromise when we want to do different things.
Above all, if tempers flare and one of us starts snapping, we find something to joke about - a good laugh is such a tension-breaker. We also have mini-breaks from each other, when he goes off and does what he wants and so do I.

We get along well when I don't talked.

GB
LOL! Sadly, I know just what you mean.

Calmari- I am in the same BOAT as you= and I don't mean CRUISE! LOL
I have done all the planning for 29 years-- and am tired of it...
The one vacation I left up to hubs, he waited til a month before we were supposed to leave and said " Where are we going"...YOU don't even want to be around for the answer he got!!
SO I figured, things are NOT going to change and if I want to travel at all , I have to make all the plans....

The one time we went on a 2 week trip thru England's countryside, he wanted to go WITHOUT RESERVATIONS...I said,"OK..we will try it your way and it if doesn't work out, I will make reservations"...At the end of the 1st week, we were ready for divorce court as we were spending 1/2 a day looking for an Inn to stay at...The 2nd week I planned from the last stay in the hotel he picked...and the 2nd week was great, as usual...

Some things never change, no matter how much you try...So.........go with the flow........

As for our vacations currently, we always have some down time away from each other- I like to shop, he likes to look at pipes etc..so we head in different direction and meet up in the hotel later in the day...Or I carry a paperback, and tag along with him- at least I have something to keep me busy while he is on his quests! LOL...Works every time!

Our only bad times is DRIVING in ENGLAND== I think we hit every CURB known to man and As we approached every roundabout, I would say a little prayer and close my eyes! LOL !
BY the way, we have done the English Countryside 3 times and are still married!!

Andy.
I lied. I just remembered that he did plan (sort of) a vacation we took when we lived in Italy. We had both been working very hard while all of our friends were on holiday the month of August. DH's sister convinced him that we should go camping with her and her friends in Porto Santo Stefano. I am a true city girl. My idea of camping was having someone pitch a tent or build a small log type cottage with nice mattress on a large plot of land overlooking the ocean and literally sleeping under the stars. Somehow plumbing and electricity were to be involved. DH packed up his motorcycle with tent, backpacks and me and we headed for Porto Santo Stefano. Did I mention that it was August? His sister forgot to mention that she did not have space for us at the campsite she was staying at. We stopped at every campsite (parking lots with tents on GRAVEL) in the area. Finally, he pitched our tent and I pitched a fit in a parking lot/camp site. The people were so cramed in there that everybody's tents (where was my mattess?) were practically touching. There were two showers and a couple of porta potty type things for everyone to use!

Not Bloody Likely!

I honestly almost broke up with him over that. He did not know me at all and apparently I did not know him. What a disaster that was. Apparently, people actually book these awful "camp sites" months in advance. There were no hotel rooms for miles. We only lasted a couple of days before we went back to Florence.

Thank you for jogging my memory. Now, I know why I always do all of the planning.

Dear luna..do not despair! I have been married 42 years this October ..when we will be in Paris!!!..And I have never yet shared a bathroom with my DH.. He is a SLOB! Never puts the top on the toothpaste, never wipes up water on the sink, never cleans the mirror,doesn't wipe down the shower..but i let it all pass ..it's his bathroom if he wants to live in moldyland it's his problem! And it gets cleaned every 2 weeks whether he wants it or not!

And you are right Laughter is the best medicine for any difficulty!

BTW ...we have a wonderful mushroom crop just before the maid comes!

Fungi?

Interesting posts....Laughter, humour and most of all a lots of patience is the formula for a happy trip..

Calamari, what an ordeal you had on your camping trip!!!This is one reason of why I dont care to camp out, and love to be comfortable in a nice hotel room..

Yes. Agreed. But you do have to try everything at least once...well, that is what I kept telling myself while I was trying to put my makeup on in a TENT!

I've been married over 15years and I swear I'll never complain about traveling with my husband at all. That's because we'll never ever travel together. He loves his house and his yard. He likes to sleep in his own bed and sit on his own couch and watch his own cable tv. I learnt that after 15 years (I have a very slow response) of frustration and bitterness that I can't wait for him or anyone to travel with. I shouldn't get mad at him because he doesn't like to travel. We get along fine as long as he doesn't have to travel. Last time I remember I threatened him with a divorce but he even ignore that threat! Now I'm a solo traveler and he stays home and pays the bills!

When DH and I travel to Europe (sans kids, so far), we're pretty compatible. I do most of the planning - I occasionally gripe about my role, but I do love to "research" our trips, and am mostly willing to accept the long-term teasing about the bad choices (actually, only one really bad one so far) in exchange for the ability to choose. I'll narrow things down, then TRY to consult with DH (this hotel looks nicer, but this has a better location, what do you think, whatever you think is best, honey), then make my decision.

DH really doesn't want to do things on his own, which is ok by me as long as he's willing to tag along on things that only I want to do. But mostly, we have the same interests - some culture & history, people-watching, a lot of scenary & good food, and not too fast a pace & little shopping. We stay as close to the center of old cities as possible & rent a car as we leave the city.

I am the language person. That's primarily because I get stressed when I can't communicate, at least a bit, in a country, whereas it doesn't seem to bother DH at all.

Most of the fights stem from bad driving/direction decisions and first-day jet lag.

My husband and I seem to get along better when on vacation traveling than staying at home. I love to research where to go and places to see and once we are there and he loves to read the maps and get us to where we want to go. I am not good at directions and mass transportation. We compliment one another when we travel.

I love travelling with my DH (to nick the term used by others). He's my absolutely perfect travelling companion, I wouldn't change anything!

Infact, as I wrote that I started trying to think of anything at all I might change and the only thing I could think of after several minutes was that it would be nice if he enjoyed seafood as I adore it and sometimes we skip a restaurant I think might be enjoyable for one that offers non seafood choices. I have never resented that as we've nearly always eaten very well and always enjoy our meals. So, I'm nitpicking here!

Anyway... I do all the planning. Because I enjoy it so much (often as much as the trip itself) and DH hates it. I love searching for ideas, reading guidebooks, thinking about what we might do. Because I know my DH so well I know just what he will enjoy too so the fact that I plan it doesn't mean he's at a disadvantage. Infact, because I'm pretty thorough in researching stuff whereas he'll occasionally glance through the guidebooks when we're en route or actually there, we often include sights which I think he'll especially like whereas he'd not know about them if he did the planning instead!

We like to stay in nice places, which, in our view, is usually 3* and above. We love luxury (but not swanky) but we won't blow the budget on the accommodation since eating out is a pleasure for both of us.

We tend to sight see on a slow relaxed basis and make it up as we go - I have a few ideas before arrival but these are very very loose and don't usually even pin down what is to be seen on what day. We stop often for coffee and a long lunch. We often head back to the hotel during mid or late afternoon for a siesta before going out for a walk before dinner - either a nap or a hot bath or writing up the journal or reading the guide book or watching the Simpsons in another language!

Truly I can't imagine a better travel partner for me than my dear Pete.

Oh, and because I get a lot of joint pain, he often carries my bag for me when I get tired (not that it has much in it) and he even did that when I went through that phase of carrying around a Sean the Sheep bag!!

:D

This is one of the funniest and most amusing threads I have read! I hope my DH still adores me at our 50th anniv. as much as 70stud does his DW. How sweet he is because you know everyone can be annoying at times. He sure never seemed to let any resentment build or hold a grudge. I am pleasingly struck by how close so many posters here are to their spouses and love being together, traveling or not. There is so much out there to the contrary.

While I am so thrilled for those couples who are blessed enough to get to discover and enjoy the world together, I am saddened about the ones who looked forward to it all their lives only to never have their dreams fullfilled because one's life ended sooner than expected. :(