Anne:<BR><BR>There came a time in my young but fortunate life, after I'd had a chance to travel in Europe a few times, that I became profoundly upset every time I had to return to the States - whether I'd been in Europe for one week or six weeks. I can vividly recall bawling out loud at an outdoor restaurant in Brussels on the rue des bouchers the evening before a departure on maybe my 12th trip to Europe. I knew I would return, but I simply did not want to sacrifice the wonderful surroundings, fabulous food, and feelings to the usual humdrum back in the USA. Some of us are just born to the traveling life, and some can re-integrate without a problem. I seriously felt I was abandoning something precious to me every time I left Europe, and it made me profoundly sad.<BR><BR>I finally solved that problem 20 years later by buying a second home in Europe. Now when I leave Europe I still feel the pang, but I am already knowing I'll be back in a few months to check on this or that or to re-integrate into my newfound community. I can always close my eyes during a bad day at work and know that I have a haven in my favorite place on earth, and that is a calming and reassuring feeling. I know my experience may seem totally far-fetched in relation to your daughter's sadness, but perhaps she is one of us who is destined to forge irrevocable ties with Europe. <BR>Or maybe she fell in love...did that ever occur to you? I've seen many a young woman return from Europe with a hangdog look that expresses not only a desire to be back in one of the prettiest continents but also a longing for someone met by a fountain in a romantic piazza under a moonlit sky.

Having done this occasionally in my younger days, that was also my first thought: that your daughter had fallen in love while travelling. I don't think she would have such profound sadness merely trying to define herself and her relationship to her mother. It's not unusual to fall in love on a trip - the circumstances are ripe - and the knowledge that this relationship might not survive the humdrum reality of everyday life makes it all the more poignant. In this case, coming home is plain, routine and drab to the extreme. Passionless. <BR><BR>One has the sense that nobody could possibly fully understand the extent and nature of one's emotional experience, which is tied in to the voyage. <BR><BR>

I was so surprised to see so many responses to my question. Again, thanks to all who responded! My first thought was also that she fell in love with someone (after all, she is just like her mom - passionate about/with the people she meets), I think there were a few that she 'really' liked, but I'm pretty sure there were no 'lasting' ties made. (and if she did then he better immigrate! LOL. Thanks again, Anne

Anne, maybe I missed it, but I'd really like to know how old your daughter is. It certainly sounds like late adolescence. Also, how long since her trip has it been? Everything people have written so far is true, although no one has really addressed what, if anything, to do about it. <BR><BR>Here are a few thoughts: 1. Being away was a real high for her because she discovered her own independence, everything was new every day, the world of possibility opened wider than she'd ever imagined, she had no responsibilities while she was there, and all relationships remained in the fun, early stages without the more complex latter stages. So coming back is a shock and a downer. <BR><BR>2. Is she about to begin college or a job? Is so, the seriousness of that responsibility probably is so sharp a contrast with the travel that it makes her immediate future really heavy.<BR><BR>3. She fell in love -- see "early stages of relationships" above.<BR><BR>4. Something else is going on that the trip triggered -- if this has gone on more than a week and she's still blue and weepy, it sounds like more than "anticlimax." Could just be an exaggerated adolescent moodswing, but have you ASKED her why she's so sad, "really"?<BR><BR>5. It's not about you.<BR><BR>6. It would help a lot to find activities to break the "spell," like work, friends, etc. etc. _including_ planning another trip for the future -- doesn't have to be soon and doesn't have to be in great detail, but get her thinking about that -- where, how, when, etc. <BR><BR>7. Get used to the idea, Anne (and I say this with my own great sadness), that that next trip probably won't include you either.

We cannot be the "apple of their eyes" forever. This is not just about travel. "Psychologist" and "Their mom" make good points.